random brother meta
Uh, that scene in Fresh Blood with Dean all "what rhymes with shut up" and Sam all "Just 'coz"? I almost cried watching it. I absolutely love it when Sam can break Dean, can be his little brother. Then it got me thinking about their relationship itself, and my thoughts spiraled out of control until I had to write them down to make sense of it.
The simplest way to start this thing is to just say that Dean really loves his little brother. I love it when Dean says some variant of "That's my boy" to something Sam did, whether it was stealing a car or kissing a hot girl. It says a lot about Dean that he says this, because it shows that Dean sees himself as Sam's father, the one who really raised him. Of course we see how Dean raised Sam in the flashback episodes and the way they talk about their past, but it was DaLDoM that convinced me that it wasn't so much a fact as it was how Dean himself interprets his role.
When his demon counterpart digs in with Dean's devotion to his father and how everything about him is his father's, Dean lets loose some repressed feelings on his father, the one, "who wasn't there for Sam, I always was!" In fact, it's not until the demon mentions Sam and how his father loved Sam more than Dean and all he was was a blunt little instrument that Dean even goes into a rage. I think that the demon might have a good point in there; "You got nothin' outside of Sam."
This may be stretching it, but on a psychological level, I would think that the reason Dean loves his jacket, music, and car is because, deep inside, he wants to be Sam's father, wants to fulfill the role that John should have filled. I feel sorry for Dean, because it's bad enough that he is Sam's brother and he has to worry about him that way. But Dean also has to deal with the roles of being a father, a mother, a friend, everything. To call Dean just Sam's brother is woefully inadequate and doesn't even begin to explain what motivates Dean to do what he does, why in any one episode he's screaming at Sam, hugging Sam, killing for Sam, eating his breakfast for Sam, comforting Sam, trying to get girls for Sam, teaching Sam...Sam Sam Sammy Sam.
And here's the kicker: Sam himself doesn't treat Dean like a normal brother either. Though on the surface independant and able to leave his family in pursuit of what he wanted, Sam is, at his core, completely reliant on his brother. Oh sure, he can leave to go to college. But when Dean came for help, notice that Sam didn't use any arguments that showed that the reason Sam left was because of Dean. In fact, all his arguments were about how their life itself was not normal and that he wanted normal. When Dean admitted that he could do it himself but he didn't want to, Sam was mentally in that car and soon physically.
In Asylum, when Sam is under the influence of the doctor's hate-juice, he's mad at Dean for following Dad's orders, telling Dean (and being the first one to go on about this) "That's the difference between you and me [sic. It really isn't Sammy, because hello, grammar?]. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic like you." So that's Sam's worst thoughts on Dean? Hmm, kind of weak when you think about it long enough and imagine what they could have been. Sam kind of really hates his father. Of course he loves him and all that, but really, Sam wasn't nearly as hurt by his death as Dean was. So the only thing about Dean that he truly hates is that Dean acts like his father. If you take it as only that, then Dean's devotion is one-sided, and Sam only wants a brother, wants to be free of it all. But I think Sam changed his mind in Something Wicked. Sam found out that Dean's whole obsession with following John's orders was because Dean screwed up protecting Sam. Now what his big old brain of his might have missed was that Dean, imo, was doing everything Dad told him and adopting the jacket, music, and car was all research for himself. Oh sure, Dean wanted to make his father proud, but we're not focusing on daddy issues here exclusively. In Dean's mind, how could be best protect Sam? By doing what Dad would do. In Wendigo, Dean held that journal like some would hold a bible, one hand on the bottom, one hand on top, all encompassing. How did Dad save Dean? Sold his soul. Even as far as No Rest for the Wicked, Dean advises Sam that they will go after Lilith "the way Dad taught us to."
Sam realized as early as Something Wicked that Dean's motivations are all Sam-centered, but what about his own? Dean commends Sam in Scarecrow about doing what he wanted, going for it. Sam frequently leaves Dean whenever he feels like he has to, doesn't seem to have that same loyalty. I used to believe that it was Dean who cared more about Sam than Sam cared about him. All evidence pointed to that. Now I'm thinking, well, what evidence do we have that Sam is not completely fucked up where Dean is concerned? You could point out all the free-thinker stuff until you're blue in the face, but Sam doesn't have the role of father. Sam has the role of son, the role of someone taken care of by another. So he's allowed to think for himself, is kind of spoiled in that regard. If Sam leaves, Dean follows, and if Sam tells him not to follow, Dean won't, but he'd come as soon as Sam called. Much like a teenager would behave. This is, of course, not entirely healthy. But it wasn't until the glory of Mystery Spot that we get our answer.
When Dean dies for the final time, Sam goes promptly insane. Of course Sam gets obsessed (as he is wont to do) about hunting the trickster, which is to be expected of any brother who watched their brother die and wants him back. But the way Sam behaved... Wasn't normal. Sam closed himself from society didn't return Bobby's calls, grew hard and unfeeling. Sam screamed pretty good in the Xmas episode when he got his fingernail ripped off, but he has a fucking bullet in his chest and he just grits his teeth and sews sexily. He chomps on his food mechanically, displays an alarming case of OCD when he makes a motel bed and even walks into the bathroom and brushes his teeth like a solider. It's so anti-Sam that it's jarring. But when he is faced with the trickster, proud, stubborn Sam begs him to bring Dean back. Then the trickster gives this huge speech on how screwed up Sam is and it's all true. I mean, think about it. Sam cried for John, but he didn't lose it at all. Hell, when Jess died, Sam was still Sam, angrier, more determined, but was still Sam. Sam in Mystery Spot was beyond grieving. Sam didn't just lose a brother. Sam lost his brother, father, mother, friend. Sam lost his one constant, the one who always protected him, who was everything to him. With Dean gone, Sam's heart was gone. Even Jess hadn't taken that away, because she filled only one role. Sam can lose a role or two, but Dean was everything.
Normal brothers simply do not have all these roles. Therefore, Sam and Dean do not act like normal brothers and this is why many look at them and say, "They must be fucking." We cannot understand it because we don't associate brotherhood with all those roles. We just get to look at them through glass and go, "What a fucked up pair of siblings."
/gen
Now to those of us who would add "lover" to that list of roles. Considering the long winded meta above, wouldn't the role of "lover" not be so far fetched? Let's not point out homoerotic elements and let us focus on just how their relationship works. Sam and Dean have only each other. Moreover, based on overwhelming evidence, they don't want any other. Oh sure, they have girls, but they never stick. Not one female on the show has really made an impact on either of the boys. With how wrapped up they are in each other, how the hell can a girl fit in? To make this a small addendum to the main meta, I won't delve into psychology, Flowers in the Attic, social taboos they don't follow, etc. I simply put it to you this way: If they were to start having sex, would it change anything, really? Oh sure, they'd be more relaxed with coming regularly, but other than the physical part? No matter what fanfic tells you, it's not going to make them happier or worse off. They couldn't be happier because they'd still have all their old issues and now they get all these new issues that weren't an issue before. But they wouldn't be worse off because, in the end, the physical side is just an even more intense way to say "I love you."
The simplest way to start this thing is to just say that Dean really loves his little brother. I love it when Dean says some variant of "That's my boy" to something Sam did, whether it was stealing a car or kissing a hot girl. It says a lot about Dean that he says this, because it shows that Dean sees himself as Sam's father, the one who really raised him. Of course we see how Dean raised Sam in the flashback episodes and the way they talk about their past, but it was DaLDoM that convinced me that it wasn't so much a fact as it was how Dean himself interprets his role.
When his demon counterpart digs in with Dean's devotion to his father and how everything about him is his father's, Dean lets loose some repressed feelings on his father, the one, "who wasn't there for Sam, I always was!" In fact, it's not until the demon mentions Sam and how his father loved Sam more than Dean and all he was was a blunt little instrument that Dean even goes into a rage. I think that the demon might have a good point in there; "You got nothin' outside of Sam."
This may be stretching it, but on a psychological level, I would think that the reason Dean loves his jacket, music, and car is because, deep inside, he wants to be Sam's father, wants to fulfill the role that John should have filled. I feel sorry for Dean, because it's bad enough that he is Sam's brother and he has to worry about him that way. But Dean also has to deal with the roles of being a father, a mother, a friend, everything. To call Dean just Sam's brother is woefully inadequate and doesn't even begin to explain what motivates Dean to do what he does, why in any one episode he's screaming at Sam, hugging Sam, killing for Sam, eating his breakfast for Sam, comforting Sam, trying to get girls for Sam, teaching Sam...Sam Sam Sammy Sam.
And here's the kicker: Sam himself doesn't treat Dean like a normal brother either. Though on the surface independant and able to leave his family in pursuit of what he wanted, Sam is, at his core, completely reliant on his brother. Oh sure, he can leave to go to college. But when Dean came for help, notice that Sam didn't use any arguments that showed that the reason Sam left was because of Dean. In fact, all his arguments were about how their life itself was not normal and that he wanted normal. When Dean admitted that he could do it himself but he didn't want to, Sam was mentally in that car and soon physically.
In Asylum, when Sam is under the influence of the doctor's hate-juice, he's mad at Dean for following Dad's orders, telling Dean (and being the first one to go on about this) "That's the difference between you and me [sic. It really isn't Sammy, because hello, grammar?]. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic like you." So that's Sam's worst thoughts on Dean? Hmm, kind of weak when you think about it long enough and imagine what they could have been. Sam kind of really hates his father. Of course he loves him and all that, but really, Sam wasn't nearly as hurt by his death as Dean was. So the only thing about Dean that he truly hates is that Dean acts like his father. If you take it as only that, then Dean's devotion is one-sided, and Sam only wants a brother, wants to be free of it all. But I think Sam changed his mind in Something Wicked. Sam found out that Dean's whole obsession with following John's orders was because Dean screwed up protecting Sam. Now what his big old brain of his might have missed was that Dean, imo, was doing everything Dad told him and adopting the jacket, music, and car was all research for himself. Oh sure, Dean wanted to make his father proud, but we're not focusing on daddy issues here exclusively. In Dean's mind, how could be best protect Sam? By doing what Dad would do. In Wendigo, Dean held that journal like some would hold a bible, one hand on the bottom, one hand on top, all encompassing. How did Dad save Dean? Sold his soul. Even as far as No Rest for the Wicked, Dean advises Sam that they will go after Lilith "the way Dad taught us to."
Sam realized as early as Something Wicked that Dean's motivations are all Sam-centered, but what about his own? Dean commends Sam in Scarecrow about doing what he wanted, going for it. Sam frequently leaves Dean whenever he feels like he has to, doesn't seem to have that same loyalty. I used to believe that it was Dean who cared more about Sam than Sam cared about him. All evidence pointed to that. Now I'm thinking, well, what evidence do we have that Sam is not completely fucked up where Dean is concerned? You could point out all the free-thinker stuff until you're blue in the face, but Sam doesn't have the role of father. Sam has the role of son, the role of someone taken care of by another. So he's allowed to think for himself, is kind of spoiled in that regard. If Sam leaves, Dean follows, and if Sam tells him not to follow, Dean won't, but he'd come as soon as Sam called. Much like a teenager would behave. This is, of course, not entirely healthy. But it wasn't until the glory of Mystery Spot that we get our answer.
When Dean dies for the final time, Sam goes promptly insane. Of course Sam gets obsessed (as he is wont to do) about hunting the trickster, which is to be expected of any brother who watched their brother die and wants him back. But the way Sam behaved... Wasn't normal. Sam closed himself from society didn't return Bobby's calls, grew hard and unfeeling. Sam screamed pretty good in the Xmas episode when he got his fingernail ripped off, but he has a fucking bullet in his chest and he just grits his teeth and sews sexily. He chomps on his food mechanically, displays an alarming case of OCD when he makes a motel bed and even walks into the bathroom and brushes his teeth like a solider. It's so anti-Sam that it's jarring. But when he is faced with the trickster, proud, stubborn Sam begs him to bring Dean back. Then the trickster gives this huge speech on how screwed up Sam is and it's all true. I mean, think about it. Sam cried for John, but he didn't lose it at all. Hell, when Jess died, Sam was still Sam, angrier, more determined, but was still Sam. Sam in Mystery Spot was beyond grieving. Sam didn't just lose a brother. Sam lost his brother, father, mother, friend. Sam lost his one constant, the one who always protected him, who was everything to him. With Dean gone, Sam's heart was gone. Even Jess hadn't taken that away, because she filled only one role. Sam can lose a role or two, but Dean was everything.
Normal brothers simply do not have all these roles. Therefore, Sam and Dean do not act like normal brothers and this is why many look at them and say, "They must be fucking." We cannot understand it because we don't associate brotherhood with all those roles. We just get to look at them through glass and go, "What a fucked up pair of siblings."
/gen
Now to those of us who would add "lover" to that list of roles. Considering the long winded meta above, wouldn't the role of "lover" not be so far fetched? Let's not point out homoerotic elements and let us focus on just how their relationship works. Sam and Dean have only each other. Moreover, based on overwhelming evidence, they don't want any other. Oh sure, they have girls, but they never stick. Not one female on the show has really made an impact on either of the boys. With how wrapped up they are in each other, how the hell can a girl fit in? To make this a small addendum to the main meta, I won't delve into psychology, Flowers in the Attic, social taboos they don't follow, etc. I simply put it to you this way: If they were to start having sex, would it change anything, really? Oh sure, they'd be more relaxed with coming regularly, but other than the physical part? No matter what fanfic tells you, it's not going to make them happier or worse off. They couldn't be happier because they'd still have all their old issues and now they get all these new issues that weren't an issue before. But they wouldn't be worse off because, in the end, the physical side is just an even more intense way to say "I love you."