New personal canon! (let me share my madness)

[bigmamag]

We all have our own personal canons with Star Trek, specifically K/S. I know there are those who believe Kirk and Spock were accidentally bonded during the events of Amok Time and others who believe Kirk and Spock sexed each other up during the actual mission. My favorite conspiracy theories are the ones that revolve around the lost years, the time

Comments

[ariadnechan]

i really made a headcanon about it and i think Jim never knew about the forget scene!
but Spock never forget himself for doing it!
the bad thing is Spock never dig further to know how much Jim feels about him!!
i even think maybe the only thing he saw was that he has an almost bond with Jim and the thought in finish it and his shame in Gol.
While Jim never understood why Spock was leaving blaming himself because he was never strong enough to say the words out loud, thinking that Spock must knew, (touch telepath and all, mindmelds) he says in turbonaut intruder "You are the closet to the captain in the universe you know his thoughts!", the problem is Spock can shield himself and he never dig too much in a mind meld so Spock didn't know about how much Jim felt for Spock

So Jim suffer not only because he lost Spock and his new deskjob is making his life miserable, but because he never say anything for Spock to stay! he suppose too much and now he lost him forever!

Spock was so torn for his own feelings and regret for manipulate Jim, and even sense the accidental bond that he run away to achieve Kolinahr and purge from all emotion giving Jim his life back severing the accidental bond and running away from Jim knowing he manipulate his mind!

after doing the rewatch this is my head canon!! Ariadne(TM)

So both of them were stupid and non of them know nothing about talk about your feelings!!!

and there is two fics about it one i can't remember where i read it and the other i will look in the rewatch and comeback with the link

[bigmamag]

I could see it as Spock never mentioning it to Kirk too, letting it make him guilty for years. I've heard people say that Spock's leaving was because he was ashamed of the loss of control and how human Kirk made him, so really a TON of theories can fit. And I LOVE that resolution for the 'accidental bond' scenario. Personally, I don't really hold to the theory, but I do love the idea that him going through kolinahr was another guilt thing for accidentally bonding with Jim, wanting Jim to be free and not selfishly keeping him near.

And yes, if anyone ever has doubt of it, these two are MEN who are notorious for being emotionally stunted and unable to show affection right. SLAPS ON THE BACK AND COMPLIMENTING A DUDE'S LOGIC IS NOT DISCUSSING HOW YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM DAILY.

[ariadnechan]

yep
but i totally see Jim feeling rejected (because Spock must to know he loves him, and guilty because he never say nothing to make Spock stay with him. So the angst!

double angst if he feel how the accidental bond is being severed without him want it if he knew about it.

and Spock is totes angsting because he manipulate Jim's mind and he doesn't deserve being close to jim, and he can't be only his friend anymore

double if he feels guilty because an accidental bond and all

they were so stupid and lost too much time!!!

but they are Epic Love. and epic love always find it's way!

found it!!

[ariadnechan]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3013272/1/Meddling_and_Melding

i would love to find the other about Jim miserable life while Spock was severing the bond!!
but i don't know where i read it !!!!

Re: found it!!

[bigmamag]

Awesome! I would love to read that other fic. It definitely would explain why Kirk looks so damn serious and melancholy through TMP.

Re: found it!!

[ariadnechan]

IN Summary: Jim hated his job, And even if he tries not to his heart aches for Spock... he feels charmed by Lori, but she is not Spock and his nightmares comeback and get worse, because the sever bond causing physical pain, so he never sleep too much and finally Lori left him, because she can't continue seeing him like this and knowing she is not the answer, Jim never was in love with her and she is angsting for someone who not need her.
Jim was totally destroy and devastated... so when the mission come he thought maybe all be ok if he is the captain of the enterprise again, but we know no bones, no friends no enterprise could save him only Spock

Re: found it!!

[vipersunjoy]

Did you read Terminus by Judith Gran?
http://www.alternateuniverses.com/judygran/Terminus.txt
It's another story explaining what led to lost years between the end of 5ysmission and TMP. Warning: story ends where lost years begin.