TrekBBS: If Palin's a Russia expert...

[biggles69]

The gang in TNZ had some fun with the McCain campaign's assertion that greenhorn VP candidate Sarah Palin is an expert on our foreign relations with Russia because Alaska shares a maritime border with that country. So if that's all it takes to put her on par with Condi Rice (who has a Ph.D. in that area), what would it take to make us more important than we really are?

Some of the better ones:

• Master of Tarquin Hill: I can see the moon outside my window. Therefore, I am an astronaut!
• James Bond: I had Chinese food for dinner tonight. Make me Ambassador to China!
• Marc: I can land an airliner in a computer flight simulator. Make me a chief pilot.
• Sephiroth: I got a BJ, can I be president?
• cardinal biggles: I changed the air filter in my car, therefore I am a fully qualified auto mechanic.
• Skywalker: I used to make pizza for a living, so I'm an expert on Italian cuisine.
• Colonel Green: I have cash in my wallet, and therefore should be Secretary of the Treasury.
• Dale: I am an airline pilot (having been on a plane), I am a member of the Monty Python troupe (having met Michael Palin) and Kids In the Hall (having seen their stage show), I am a lesbian (having lived with two as a teenager), I am the King of England (having posed for pictures in front of Buckingham Palace), and the Duke of Earl (having stayed in a hostel in Earl's Court).
• chardman: I've attended a number of Renaissance Fairs, ergo I am the world's foremost living authority on Chaucer.
• ThankQ: I just took a shit in the toilet, therefore I'm qualified to be in charge of Tulsa's waste management.
• Valeris: I bandaged my hand, therefore I'm a doctor.
• Dale: I undress nightly, therefore I am a male stripper, albeit not a terribly popular one.
• Lookingglassman: I cut my grass, therefore I am an illegal immigrant gardener.
• Davros: Do all my hours playing Axis and Allies make me a World War II general?
• Nerys Myk: I've lived in Japan, therefore I'm a ninja.