For Alyssa...

[bigbowwow]

Still don't why you just don't get engaged. Why promise something if you don't think you can keep it. Cause here I see it....
Boy:Will you wear this promise ring as a sign that we promise to be together for ever?
Girl:Of course I will. I love you! I promise to love you forever!
Boy:Yey! I promise to love you forever too!
Now we are at a fork in the road.

Ya see, this can now go two ways...

1. The good way...
   
   • Boy:Wow! You know what I still really love you. Gosh you're great.
     Girl:I'm glad you think that way because I still love you too. You're so cool!
     Boy:I have an idea (gets down on one knee)Will you marry me and be my wife?
     Girl:Oh Boy, I thought you would never ask! Of course I will!
     They embrase as Boy thinks Why did I give her that $200 ring?!?! When I was going to be buying her a pair of $8,000 rings so soon?!?!?!? I mean that $200 could have gone to the rings or at least a really nice dinner.
   
   
   Now ya see in situation "a" the girl comes out on top with loads of fancy rich jewelry and the guy, even though loves her very much and doesn't mind a whole lot, has waisted time and money on somethin that he all ready knows he was going to do in the first place. So instead of a promise ring he should have just jumped right to the engagement ring. Why? Because, isn't marriage one of the feelings that ya just know? Now I understand you wanting to maybe wait a bit on the feelings to make sure that they are real and not just spur of the moment type things?
   
   I guess you could then argue that the promise ring is a promise of waiting those feelings out instead of jumping to hasty conclusions instead of a promise that I will be with you for a very long time and even marry you some day. Cause let's face it. Why say I'll marry you some day? when you should just marry today?
   
   Then here is number two...
   
2. The bad way...(or for the best way)
   
   1. Girl:You know what?
      Boy:Yes?
      Boy:This just isn't what I thought it was going to be. I'm not sure what happend but I just don't love you any more. I mean, I love you, but I'm just not in love with you any more.
      Boy:But you said you promised me you would love me forever and then we'd get married some day! You have my ring to prove it. You've broked your promise and I've spent money on a ring that I could have put towards a whole lot of cheesburgers over the past few months.
      Girl:Yeah I know and I'm sorry. Here have it back.
      Boy:I can't take that back! It was a gift! Do with it what you please but I won't take it back!
      Girl:It wasn't a gift it was a promise. A promise I broke. Take it back!
      Boy:No! What will I do with it? Give it to another person? That's retarted! It will always make me think of you.
      Girl:Fine I'll pawn it and use the money for make-up, cookies, and gas for the next few weeks!
      Boy:Fine! Whatever! Promise breaker!
      And the two lovebirds now never speak again and she runs away to become some fantasic wife and he dies over seas feeling the sudden urge to join the army.
   Of coure the end with the army and what not is a bit extreme and the rolls can be reversed.
   
   So there is my point about a "promise to get married some day down the road ring". I believe that the feeling of "I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you," is something you just know. Granted it isn't an impulse feeling so it is wise to take some time and make sure that the feeling is right and mutual. However, if it takes more than a month maybe two then I don't think marriage is in the cards.
   
   Now if the feelings of marriage come months or years later, that's great! But can you really put a promise on something such as love. Especially if it's a time limit on love. One of my favorite quotes is from Steve Martin in L.A. Story:"Why is that we always recognize the moment wehn love begins be we alway know whe int ends?"
   Basically saying there is no time line for love. Love comes and goes and we can't tell when it starts but we will know when it ends. However we can't predict when it will end, it just does.
   
   A promise ring saying that I will love you forever and I promise to love you forever might as well be a marriage ring. That way giving a shot at marriage is like saying I'm going to try and love you forever. If I do, great! if I don't at least I gave it a shot. Promising to love you forever is promise that can't be kept. So you don't know if you are going to marry someone in the far far future and you don't know how far that futrue is off.
   
   Now I'm not doubting the love you two have for each other and I'm not saying he's retarted for buying you a ring. I'm just saying your ring is either a nice ring to show affection and love for the time being or an engagment ring. One can not put a time limit on love like a promise ring trys and do.
   
   PS I'm serious about me being happy for your love and I'm a bit jealous. I just really hate the term promise ring.