(Untitled)

[cookiedoughgirl]

I stood in front of Caritas my arms crossed, my eyes studying the vampire in front of me. He was deliberately looking away from me.

"We're here, pet, so tell me t'stay or go."He'd like that wouldn't he? Ask him to stay because a part of me really doesn't want to run into Angel by myself. I didn't think he was here, most of the time I can feel

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[big_pile_o_dust]

((No problem, Buffy-Mun!))

"Do whatever you want..."

What? No scowls, no daggers shootin' from her eyes at me? She must've really gotten all riled-up about Angel.

Poor little lost Slayer.

I shrugged my shoulders, lit another smoke, and finally looked her in the eyes. God, she could kill me with those eyes.

Well, she could kill me a few other ways, but lucky for me, she hadn't. Probably wouldn't, either. Too many other things on her mind - avoiding the ponce, takin' care of the 'bit, tryin' to come to terms with how bad the shaggin' must've been with Soldier-Boy.

I knew that first-hand. Hey now, not that I was interested, not that I cared...I just

[cookiedoughgirl]

Plan? Yeah, one of those might be nice about now. The truth was, I didn't really have something mapped out. I was just looking for a good excuse to beat something to a bloody pulp. Between taking care of Dawn, Faith being in town, Spike's crush and this portal I was ready to rip something's head off.

The bar was empty, chairs placed on tables, the stage dimly lit. I sat in a char. "We're going to sit here and wait. Then we're going to kill whatever comes through there. Simple enough?"

[big_pile_o_dust]

I sat down next to her without bein' asked.

"We're going to sit here and wait. Then we're going to kill whatever comes through there. Simple enough?"

"Simple enough for me, luv."

But what about you, Slayer? I'll wager sittin' here, knowin' one ex has flown the coop and the other is wanderin' around town bein' all soul-havin' is just eating you up inside.

I could make it better. Know I could.

She won't let me.

I sniffed a bit, rubbed my nose, and leaned back in the chair. Arms draped a bit, showin' off my hot little body since - well, it is. Besides, it might get her t'notice me finally...

"So then. Here we are. Slayer and vampire, waitin'. Sittin'."

I nodded my head once for emphasis.

"Yup, just us now, pet. Alone..."

My eyes strayed to her face as I licked my lips.

Hmm. Better not push my luck.

"Alone and...waitin'."

I love you, Buffy. I need you. You're the dark that matches mine...God, how we could dance forever...

"So, what's new?"

[cookiedoughgirl]

Oh my God, if he started singing "I think we're alone now" I was going to have to break this chair over his head and put him out of his misery, chip or not.

"On second thought," I said, standing up. "What if whatever is supposed to come through here today has already come through here?"

He was making me nervous with all this alone talk. I walked over to the portal. Sure enough, on the ground infront of it there was the clear mark of a footprint. "I think we might be too late."

[big_pile_o_dust]

I stood up, frowning at her. She was walkin' away. Again.

Walkin' slowly, I saw the footprint she was lookin' at. Couldn't recognize exactly which creepy-crawly it was, but it didn't matter much.

It was gone, which meant she would be too.

Bugger this. She's not leavin'. Not 'till I've said my peace.

"Right. Gone, then. Well, seems our job is done for the evening then pet."

I reached out and grabbed her arm - none too tightly, mind you, I don't want the bloody chip goin' off - and turned her t'face me. Took a deep breath and let it out.

I was about t'lay my heart before her again so she could stomp on it some more.

God, why won't she stake me and get it over with?

"Buffy..."

I never said her name. Not unless it was important. Not unless...she knew that, though...right? Had to. She knew me, like I knew her.

"...don't go just yet, luv. I..."

My eyes fell t'the floor. Couldn't bear the look if...no, when she'd tell me to sod off.

"...I love you, Buffy."

[cookiedoughgirl]

I looked up at him when he said my name, suddenly aware that his hand was on my arm. His voice was so soft and by the look on his face I could tell that whatever he was about to say was big.

Was he really responsible for this?

His words caught me off guard though. I froze, staring up at him. I mean, I knew he had a crush, but I never thought he'd...

"Spike..." I didn't know what to say. I know what I should say. Tell him he's got to be dreaming to think that me and him would ever have something between us. I open up my mouth to tell him so, instead I say something I didn't plan on. "Why?"

[big_pile_o_dust]

"Why?"

I laughed. Didn't she know? Wasn't it bloody obvious?

I let my hand drop and ran it through my hair. Shoved both of them into my pockets, tryin' t'stay curled up into a ball. All protective.

She'd hurt me after what I would say next. I knew it.

Damn William the poet.

"Buffy...you're all I dream about. I...can't seem t'get you outta my head, my thoughts...Always had a thing for Slayers, after all...just never..."

My words weren't workin'. I sighed and shrugged, defeated.

"I've changed, Buffy. The chip...I've taken care of the nibblet, taken care of you...when you let me..."

This wasn't what I'd wanted t'say at all. Damn.

"You're the sunlight I never get t'see anymore..."

Oh God. Stake me. Just bloody stake me right now.

[cookiedoughgirl]

I stared at him as he began and started a couple of times. I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was serious.

You're the sunlight I never get t'see anymore...

I couldn't stop the laugh that burst out of my mouth. It was a laugh of surprise and being uncomfortable, not necessarily one that you'd make at the sound of a good joke. It sounded sharp and wrong to my ears.

Instantly I saw a shadow pass over his face and I knew that I'd messed up.

[big_pile_o_dust]

She laughed. She sodding laughed.

I stepped in closer to her, walking her backwards against the wall of the bar and pinning her with my hand near her face. Not touchin' since, dammit, the chip would go off.

"Fine then."

Wanted t'cry, t'punch her. T'kill all the painful feelings I had, and I couldn't do a blasted thing. My eyes moved up and down her body, undressin' her with each look until I licked my lips and smirked.

Shag. Kill. Same thing.

"Laugh all you want, Slayer."

God, how could I hurt her the way she'd hurt me...?

"It still won't get Angel into your bed."

I shoved away from the wall and stalked out. Knew she wouldn't follow me - why? Knew she'd do this t'me...

I wanted t'kill somethin' now.

[cookiedoughgirl]

My back was pressed against the wall and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as he leaned into me, his eyes travelling over my body.

Laugh all you want, Slayer.

I opened my mouth to...to what? To tell him I'm sorry? This was Spike. SPIKE.

It still won't get Angel into your bed.

I snapped my mouth shut. Out of all of the confusing feelings going through me, anger came to the surface.

I watched him as he walked out of the bar.

Should I follow? Or just leave it alone?

In the end, I couldn't let it go. When he talked to me like that, and looked at me that way it made me wonder what he saw in me. What did he see that was worth humiliating himself over and over again. I wanted a catch a look at this girl that he thought he was in love with.

I walked to the door and followed him, wondering when I'd gone all mental.

[big_pile_o_dust]

I stopped walkin' when I smelled her. Her scent...just a few feet back from me. My head rolled back and I turned slowly, eyes narrowed at her.

"Come on, Slayer. Just do it. Bloody well do it. Stake me and get it over with."

Stepped closer to her, just drownin' in the scent of her. Pissed me off.

"Do it, bitch!"

[cookiedoughgirl]

"Spike...I..." I crossed my arms over my chest.

Was I really going to apologize? I hadn't done anything wrong unless it was being stupid enough to follow him out here.

"I'm not going to stake you," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to laugh...you just...you caught me off guard."

I took a deep breath and looked at the ground. "Maybe I never said it but...thanks...for taking care of Dawn."

[big_pile_o_dust]

Frozen.

Yeah, that was the word for it. It was...she was...

God, was she lookin' sad? Nah, I was imaginin' it all.

"Maybe I never said it but...thanks...for taking care of Dawn."

"Yeah," I replied, crossin' my own arms over my chest until I realized I was a mirror of Buffy. I pulled out another smoke -- how many had I had by now? -- and waved a hand at her.

"Just...forget it, alright? We've got demons and what-not...we...we just need t'take care of that right now."

I looked up at her, tryin' for nonchalance.

"Right?"

[cookiedoughgirl]

"Right," I said, giving him a small nod and smile. Alright, so he was letting me off the hook, I wasn't stupid enough to not see an open window when I...saw it.

Anyway, he was giving me a way out. And as strange as this night was turning out to be, I found myself not wanting to be by myself. I kind of liked having Spike there.

He really thought I was sunshine?

"I say we hit up Main street, then maybe the Bronze. If it's a hungry demon, it'll probably go to the place with the most easy food."

What had he referred to humans as before? Walking happy meals?

[big_pile_o_dust]

"Right," I repeated, falling back into step towards the main section of SunnyHell. She didn't stake me. And she...sorta..said...

Sorry?

Not pushin' my luck, though. Best t'let it lie for awhile.

"Bronze sounds good, Slayer. Too many people there...don't know what kinda baddie we have. The Polgaras that came through are dead, but..."

I shrugged.

"Who knows what coulda come through...there's all those strange alternate-places Anya keeps yammerin' on about."

I grinned at her over my shoulder. "Could be a more handsome me. Or an evil you. I vote for evil you, though...don't need two of me 'round here."

[cookiedoughgirl]

"Yeah, if' we're lucky we're dealing with a six foot shrimp," I said as we began walking down the street. I let him take the lead as he smoked his cigarette.

I frowned, "An evil me? Yeah, that'd just be the icing on this cake of evil, wouldn't it?"

I paused, "What if it was a fat me? That'd really suck."