Summer Movies, Had Me A Blast
I'd like to apologize to The Rugged One for deviating from the idea I discussed with him. I decided not to go ahead with it, as I didn't want him to hate me by Thursday (I'll settle for next week).
Anyway, the Summer Movie season is just about up, and we're on the verge of that period where the studios clear out their backstock before the Holiday movie/Oscar rush. There's still about six or seven more movies I have left to see (including Red Eye, The Skeleton Key, The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Brothers Grimm and Broken Flowers), but I think it's safe for me to make one of those silly "best film" lists.
THE FIVE BEST MOVIES OF THE SUMMER!
(DISCLAIMER: The following is a list of movies that I enjoyed. It is by no means a list of recommendations. Thus, I cannot be responsible for anyone who watches The Devil's Rejects and then vomits and showers for two weeks afterwards.)
5. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
It's good to see a delightfully eccentric movie such as this, and I'm glad Burton decided to faithfully adapt Roald Dahl's book, rather than outright try to remake the '70s film. This film succeeds on the whole, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I thought that film was much better for the following reasons:
5. Tell, don't show. I didn't need to see the kids walking out at the end. I loved the original, in which Wonka simply says, "They were returned to their parents, unharmed, a bit wiser for the ware." It just adds more mystery. How do we KNOW they were unharmed? What if Wonka was just telling Charlie that? What if they all died?!
4. The chase. The buildup to the tickets being found seems shorter, which is a shame, as that's part of what made the original so fun. The math/chemistry teacher was a hoot, and "I am now telling the computer precisely what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate" is a fantastic quote.
3. Slugworth and the spies. The two films took a different approach to the "spies" that were trying to steal Wonka's formulas, but I actually thought the original handled it better. I liked how Wonka used them to test Charlie's loyalty, and how Slugworth just KNEW to pop up everywhere. The Burton film used them as a plot device to show why Wonka closed down his factory, then moved on.
2. The characters. Some of the characters in the Burton film lacked the heart of what made the original ones so appealing. This can't be more apparent than with Grampa Joe. The original Mike Teevee was also a much better character; he wasn't a bad kid, he just watched too much television. The Mike Teevee in the new film was a loud-mouthed cunt. That's what we've got Veruca Salt for!
1. Wonka himself. Yes, Johnny Depp was great, and I don't want to take away anything from him. The Wonka in the '70s film, meanwhile, was far more subtle. He could be just as mean and cruel, but was able to express this in the way he spoke or the words he chose or his eccentric actions. He rarely insulted the kids directly, but anyone could tell he was doing so just from the way his voice sounded. The story himself suited Wonka better in the original; he was just trying to find someone with a good heart to be an heir to his chocolate factory. The one in the new version is on the same quest, but also has daddy issues to deal with along the way. I just think the original worked so much better.
That all seems a bit harsh, which is unfair, as I really did enjoy this movie. The original film is a huge part of me, and it'd be ludicrous to think that ANY remake is going to try and come close. Still, Burton was wise to go back to the source, and made the best film he could. It came out pretty damn good, too.
4. The Devil's Rejects
The plot meanders a bit, the sequences are a bit incohesive, the tone wavers too much from over-the-top and tongue-in-cheek to downright deadly and serious, and it seems some characters were created just to get certain actors in the film. Ah well, I still loved it. Along with last year's Saw, it's good to see horror movies are growing a set again. I'm still surprised that they got away with so much stuff in a mainstream film. Loads of sex...and nudity...and gore... I shudder to think what's on the unrated DVD! The ending is downright beautiful, too, and set to one of my favorite songs.
3. War of the Worlds
Tight, solid, surprisingly gory sci-fi thriller from Spielberg. Tes, the conclusion did indeed seem to tie things up too neatly, but there's such a bleak, hopeless atmosphere through the whole film. I loved it. Dakota Fanning's also great, and did a fabulous job outacting Tom Cruise. I really hope she can avoid falling into the trap of other child stars (like Drew Barrymore), and can have a long and fruitful career (like Michelle Tractenburg).
2. The Island
Dear critics,
Fuck off!
Love,
Chris.
This movie was incredible. It reminded me of films from the '70s as Soylent Green, Rollerball and Logan's Run (actually, it reminded the producers of Parts: The Clonus Horror a little too much of their own film, and they've recently filed suit), in which a futuristic government deals with humanity in...slightly unconventional and controversial ways. Neat twists and turns throughout, characters I cared about and interesting social messages are combined with Michael Bay's talent for incredible stunts, fast driving sequences and an all-around penchant for making things go boom. This film was a knockout.
1. Batman Begins
This film actually reminded me a lot of the movies James Cameron used to make, before he went mad and thought he could save the Titanic from sinking. Good character setup, great performances, slow (but fascinating) build during the first act, and a balls-to-the-wall, breattaking final hour. The movie comic fans have been yearning for.
The worst movie, meanwhile, was Fantastic Four. While not an awful movie, it just seemed to forget that it was an action film until the final reel, by which point I was so bored that I couldn't really get into the conflict between the FF and Dr. Doom. I love Julian McMahon on Nip/Tuck, too, but he was miscast as Dr. Doom. I was hoping for someone a bit more...intimidating. McMahon seems to be more home in dramas, not playing maniacal supervillains.
And...as an added bonus...
TOP TEN SUMMER MOVIES I AVOIDED LIKE THE PLAGUE!
10. The Great Raid
9. Monster-in-Law
8. Stealth
7. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
6. Must Love Dogs
5. Supercross: The Movie (then again, everyone else did, too)
4. Rebound
3. The Perfect Man
2. The Honeymooners
1. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolow
And that'll do it for tonight.
Goodbye to you.
Anyway, the Summer Movie season is just about up, and we're on the verge of that period where the studios clear out their backstock before the Holiday movie/Oscar rush. There's still about six or seven more movies I have left to see (including Red Eye, The Skeleton Key, The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Brothers Grimm and Broken Flowers), but I think it's safe for me to make one of those silly "best film" lists.
THE FIVE BEST MOVIES OF THE SUMMER!
(DISCLAIMER: The following is a list of movies that I enjoyed. It is by no means a list of recommendations. Thus, I cannot be responsible for anyone who watches The Devil's Rejects and then vomits and showers for two weeks afterwards.)
5. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
It's good to see a delightfully eccentric movie such as this, and I'm glad Burton decided to faithfully adapt Roald Dahl's book, rather than outright try to remake the '70s film. This film succeeds on the whole, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I thought that film was much better for the following reasons:
5. Tell, don't show. I didn't need to see the kids walking out at the end. I loved the original, in which Wonka simply says, "They were returned to their parents, unharmed, a bit wiser for the ware." It just adds more mystery. How do we KNOW they were unharmed? What if Wonka was just telling Charlie that? What if they all died?!
4. The chase. The buildup to the tickets being found seems shorter, which is a shame, as that's part of what made the original so fun. The math/chemistry teacher was a hoot, and "I am now telling the computer precisely what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate" is a fantastic quote.
3. Slugworth and the spies. The two films took a different approach to the "spies" that were trying to steal Wonka's formulas, but I actually thought the original handled it better. I liked how Wonka used them to test Charlie's loyalty, and how Slugworth just KNEW to pop up everywhere. The Burton film used them as a plot device to show why Wonka closed down his factory, then moved on.
2. The characters. Some of the characters in the Burton film lacked the heart of what made the original ones so appealing. This can't be more apparent than with Grampa Joe. The original Mike Teevee was also a much better character; he wasn't a bad kid, he just watched too much television. The Mike Teevee in the new film was a loud-mouthed cunt. That's what we've got Veruca Salt for!
1. Wonka himself. Yes, Johnny Depp was great, and I don't want to take away anything from him. The Wonka in the '70s film, meanwhile, was far more subtle. He could be just as mean and cruel, but was able to express this in the way he spoke or the words he chose or his eccentric actions. He rarely insulted the kids directly, but anyone could tell he was doing so just from the way his voice sounded. The story himself suited Wonka better in the original; he was just trying to find someone with a good heart to be an heir to his chocolate factory. The one in the new version is on the same quest, but also has daddy issues to deal with along the way. I just think the original worked so much better.
That all seems a bit harsh, which is unfair, as I really did enjoy this movie. The original film is a huge part of me, and it'd be ludicrous to think that ANY remake is going to try and come close. Still, Burton was wise to go back to the source, and made the best film he could. It came out pretty damn good, too.
4. The Devil's Rejects
The plot meanders a bit, the sequences are a bit incohesive, the tone wavers too much from over-the-top and tongue-in-cheek to downright deadly and serious, and it seems some characters were created just to get certain actors in the film. Ah well, I still loved it. Along with last year's Saw, it's good to see horror movies are growing a set again. I'm still surprised that they got away with so much stuff in a mainstream film. Loads of sex...and nudity...and gore... I shudder to think what's on the unrated DVD! The ending is downright beautiful, too, and set to one of my favorite songs.
3. War of the Worlds
Tight, solid, surprisingly gory sci-fi thriller from Spielberg. Tes, the conclusion did indeed seem to tie things up too neatly, but there's such a bleak, hopeless atmosphere through the whole film. I loved it. Dakota Fanning's also great, and did a fabulous job outacting Tom Cruise. I really hope she can avoid falling into the trap of other child stars (like Drew Barrymore), and can have a long and fruitful career (like Michelle Tractenburg).
2. The Island
Dear critics,
Fuck off!
Love,
Chris.
This movie was incredible. It reminded me of films from the '70s as Soylent Green, Rollerball and Logan's Run (actually, it reminded the producers of Parts: The Clonus Horror a little too much of their own film, and they've recently filed suit), in which a futuristic government deals with humanity in...slightly unconventional and controversial ways. Neat twists and turns throughout, characters I cared about and interesting social messages are combined with Michael Bay's talent for incredible stunts, fast driving sequences and an all-around penchant for making things go boom. This film was a knockout.
1. Batman Begins
This film actually reminded me a lot of the movies James Cameron used to make, before he went mad and thought he could save the Titanic from sinking. Good character setup, great performances, slow (but fascinating) build during the first act, and a balls-to-the-wall, breattaking final hour. The movie comic fans have been yearning for.
The worst movie, meanwhile, was Fantastic Four. While not an awful movie, it just seemed to forget that it was an action film until the final reel, by which point I was so bored that I couldn't really get into the conflict between the FF and Dr. Doom. I love Julian McMahon on Nip/Tuck, too, but he was miscast as Dr. Doom. I was hoping for someone a bit more...intimidating. McMahon seems to be more home in dramas, not playing maniacal supervillains.
And...as an added bonus...
TOP TEN SUMMER MOVIES I AVOIDED LIKE THE PLAGUE!
10. The Great Raid
9. Monster-in-Law
8. Stealth
7. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
6. Must Love Dogs
5. Supercross: The Movie (then again, everyone else did, too)
4. Rebound
3. The Perfect Man
2. The Honeymooners
1. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolow
And that'll do it for tonight.
Goodbye to you.