Think Twice Before Watching Another Movie!
I decided to take time out of my highly busy schedule to inform you
people about what movies you should or what movies you shouldnt go see.
What gives me the right to tell you what to do you ask?
The fact that I am a producer, a supersexy homoerectus, a socio-cultural commentator and a phenomenon.
But, lets not beat around the bush any more, lets cut right to it.
You have 9 dollars to spend?
DO NOT SPEND IT TO WATCH STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH
At first I thought it would be a good idea to spend 9 of my percious dollars to watch this movie, little did I know I was in for a whole lot of dissapointment.
The movie began as most Star Wars movie began: a shit load of laser and special effects which were used to cover up the ever so shitty plot which was poorly written
by the one and only fagboy(George Lucas). As the movie progressed, it became appearnt that I should have not spent 9 dollars to see this movie because:
A) My friend Jeff passed out next to me.
B) This is the last final movie but actualy its supposed to be the 3rd movie.
C) Geeks were laughing when R2D2 was beeing(somehow they could interpret bullshit dialect, fucking geeks).
I'm going to just end this by saying this movie is not
worth 9 dollars. It would be worth 9 dollars only and ONLY if four girls were giving me oral at the same time and I had a 5th of Hypnotiq in my right hand.
1 out of 4(They deserve a 25% because Chewbacka was there and he can have my babys any day)
LONGEST YARD
This movie is without a doubt is worth your shitty 9 dollars. The movie begins with the most MANLY intro I have ever seen in a movie.
It starts with Adamn Sandler sippin on a nice cold brew then all of the sudden his super gorgeously hot sterotypical model wife walked in, this is where I blank out for
the first 10 minutes of the movie because I was too busy lookin at her boobs(SORRY). Well shit happened to Adam and he ended up in a Maximum security prison
where he got his ass wooped for being a bitch. As the movie progressed it became apparnt that it's worthy of winning an oscar in every category there is. Why?
I'll tell you why by making a quick checklist of what enhanced the awsomeoness of this movie.
Adam Sandler Check
Rob Schnider Check
Chris Rock Double Check
Nelly Check
Dude that looked like Ben Willy on steroids Check
Stone Cold Steve Austin Check
Ying Yang Twin Music HUHHH?!...Check
I could go on and type more about how much this movie rules but I'll it up to you to go watch it.
5 out of 5
baSIN CITY
This movie is the epitome of what most movies should be like.
For one this movie had enough adrenaline, testostorome pumping action to make an professional builder look like his nutsack hasn't dropped.
First off there is people getting shot, dismemberd, decapitated...I could go on for hours but I will leave it to your imagination.
Just when you thought this movie was super fucking awsome it gets better.Why? Umm lets see, Jessica Alba doing provocative dances that makes even the gayest of
guys question why they turned gay in the first place and hot bisexual hookers in clothing that makes a stripper look like she overdressed. Ladies and gentlemen, this is
a must see for anyone in the planet because I say so.
So GO WATCH IT!
6 out of 5
What gives me the right to tell you what to do you ask?
The fact that I am a producer, a supersexy homoerectus, a socio-cultural commentator and a phenomenon.
But, lets not beat around the bush any more, lets cut right to it.
You have 9 dollars to spend?
DO NOT SPEND IT TO WATCH STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH
At first I thought it would be a good idea to spend 9 of my percious dollars to watch this movie, little did I know I was in for a whole lot of dissapointment.
The movie began as most Star Wars movie began: a shit load of laser and special effects which were used to cover up the ever so shitty plot which was poorly written
by the one and only fagboy(George Lucas). As the movie progressed, it became appearnt that I should have not spent 9 dollars to see this movie because:
A) My friend Jeff passed out next to me.
B) This is the last final movie but actualy its supposed to be the 3rd movie.
C) Geeks were laughing when R2D2 was beeing(somehow they could interpret bullshit dialect, fucking geeks).
I'm going to just end this by saying this movie is not
worth 9 dollars. It would be worth 9 dollars only and ONLY if four girls were giving me oral at the same time and I had a 5th of Hypnotiq in my right hand.
1 out of 4(They deserve a 25% because Chewbacka was there and he can have my babys any day)
LONGEST YARD
This movie is without a doubt is worth your shitty 9 dollars. The movie begins with the most MANLY intro I have ever seen in a movie.
It starts with Adamn Sandler sippin on a nice cold brew then all of the sudden his super gorgeously hot sterotypical model wife walked in, this is where I blank out for
the first 10 minutes of the movie because I was too busy lookin at her boobs(SORRY). Well shit happened to Adam and he ended up in a Maximum security prison
where he got his ass wooped for being a bitch. As the movie progressed it became apparnt that it's worthy of winning an oscar in every category there is. Why?
I'll tell you why by making a quick checklist of what enhanced the awsomeoness of this movie.
Adam Sandler Check
Rob Schnider Check
Chris Rock Double Check
Nelly Check
Dude that looked like Ben Willy on steroids Check
Stone Cold Steve Austin Check
Ying Yang Twin Music HUHHH?!...Check
I could go on and type more about how much this movie rules but I'll it up to you to go watch it.
5 out of 5
baSIN CITY
This movie is the epitome of what most movies should be like.
For one this movie had enough adrenaline, testostorome pumping action to make an professional builder look like his nutsack hasn't dropped.
First off there is people getting shot, dismemberd, decapitated...I could go on for hours but I will leave it to your imagination.
Just when you thought this movie was super fucking awsome it gets better.Why? Umm lets see, Jessica Alba doing provocative dances that makes even the gayest of
guys question why they turned gay in the first place and hot bisexual hookers in clothing that makes a stripper look like she overdressed. Ladies and gentlemen, this is
a must see for anyone in the planet because I say so.
So GO WATCH IT!
6 out of 5