Is This Love? Or Am I Dreaming?
I guess I was dreaming.
It's an odd feeling when your dreams feel more real than waking life. A kind of floating sensation and the whole world is viewed through a plastic lens. Reality is revered. But in dreams pain is real, g-forces are felt and there are bookstores on Russian passenger trains.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. It's easy to list off a bunch of characteristics:
Redhead
Thick hips
Ample breasts
Nerdy
Into Video games
Freckles
Likes rock music
Bohemian
Glasses
All that. But part of me knows that person probably doesn't exist. I feel bad about listing physical characteristics. They aren't the most important aspect but they are important to a degree.
The best I can hope for is someone who will accept me for who I am; and expect nothing more and nothing less.
I don't know what I want. But I know what I don't want.
Though it would be a pleasant surprise if that person does exist. The waiting is killer.
It's week seven. Too late to start anything now; summer craps stuff up. Even if that were not the case would it be what I really want or would the chronic "greener pastures" thoughts arise out of nervousness and fear.
Both connections need to be made at the same time but they can only happen one by one. An elaborate game where both players hold hands and move across the same board while using two different sets of rules.
I'm always up for a game.
Our newspaper asked if hooking up was the new dating. But what even is hooking up? I'm not sure. Would I do it? I'll tell you when I know.
Has society opened up to trying new things or has the meaning of a lasting bond been left at the way-station?
Perhaps I'll never know. Perhaps society will ever know.
Perhaps we aren't meant to know and just go with the flow.
There are so many things I don't know. So many actions that take place without reason. A mindless routine day after day. Is meaning only brought to that which is out of the ordinary?
Can the mundane be considered special?
And I ask what is the purpose of direction on a compass with no markings? Why try and navigate what cannot be seen or understood. Why not sit back and walk that path as it takes you instead of making assumptions of where it will go. You'd be surprised what happens.
Even in male simplicity I am a complex individual. And for that I feel less crazy.
Finally what am I even doing here? What purpose does my sifting of thoughts on an abstract electronic medium have? I have nothing particularly important to say. Only the rambling of a waking dream.
But more importantly, why are you reading it?
"Are the butterflies real?"
-Vincent
It's an odd feeling when your dreams feel more real than waking life. A kind of floating sensation and the whole world is viewed through a plastic lens. Reality is revered. But in dreams pain is real, g-forces are felt and there are bookstores on Russian passenger trains.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. It's easy to list off a bunch of characteristics:
Redhead
Thick hips
Ample breasts
Nerdy
Into Video games
Freckles
Likes rock music
Bohemian
Glasses
All that. But part of me knows that person probably doesn't exist. I feel bad about listing physical characteristics. They aren't the most important aspect but they are important to a degree.
The best I can hope for is someone who will accept me for who I am; and expect nothing more and nothing less.
I don't know what I want. But I know what I don't want.
Though it would be a pleasant surprise if that person does exist. The waiting is killer.
It's week seven. Too late to start anything now; summer craps stuff up. Even if that were not the case would it be what I really want or would the chronic "greener pastures" thoughts arise out of nervousness and fear.
Both connections need to be made at the same time but they can only happen one by one. An elaborate game where both players hold hands and move across the same board while using two different sets of rules.
I'm always up for a game.
Our newspaper asked if hooking up was the new dating. But what even is hooking up? I'm not sure. Would I do it? I'll tell you when I know.
Has society opened up to trying new things or has the meaning of a lasting bond been left at the way-station?
Perhaps I'll never know. Perhaps society will ever know.
Perhaps we aren't meant to know and just go with the flow.
There are so many things I don't know. So many actions that take place without reason. A mindless routine day after day. Is meaning only brought to that which is out of the ordinary?
Can the mundane be considered special?
And I ask what is the purpose of direction on a compass with no markings? Why try and navigate what cannot be seen or understood. Why not sit back and walk that path as it takes you instead of making assumptions of where it will go. You'd be surprised what happens.
Even in male simplicity I am a complex individual. And for that I feel less crazy.
Finally what am I even doing here? What purpose does my sifting of thoughts on an abstract electronic medium have? I have nothing particularly important to say. Only the rambling of a waking dream.
But more importantly, why are you reading it?
"Are the butterflies real?"
-Vincent