You change the equation I add up to

[wickedslayer]

Days had been quiet at the Hyperion, with everybody pretty much doin' their thing. Soul Boy had himself locked up in his office, with Cordelia reminding me and probably him every five minutes that he was brooding again. I had a feelin' Angel was feelin' all guilty cause his best pal Doyle up and died on him. Hey, life was a bitch that way and Angel

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[_wes_pryce_]

Frowning, I looked up when I heard the door open and close several time. Dennis was probably playing a game with Cordelia. Or perhaps it was some strange ritual between the two I've not noticed before. But if Cordy is going to be mad, she had better not take it out on me. It's not my fault Dennis acts like an overprotective mother hen who's five some of the time.

Putting the weapons in the bag, I stuffed the map I'd printed out in my pocket. I wouldn’t want to get lost, I'd memorized it of course, but it pays to be prepared. I finally heard the door close and Cordelia walk in. Frowning, I looked up a little confused. Since when did Cordelia wear boots? Must be a new fashion statement, I'd better compliment it as to not risk being glared to death.

When I walked out, still rummaging through my bag, Dennis was pulling on it. I looked up with a mixture of annoyance and surprise. Which is when I saw her. Faith.

Automatically, I took a step back, my eyes widening. My heart started to beat a whole lot faster and tried to leap out of my throat. Swallowing hard, I only seemed to be able to stare at her, wondering what the hell she was doing here. Or why Dennis had let her in for that matter.

"Faith?" I said, softly, clearing my throat and taking another step back. What could she and I have to talk about? Whatever happened to our silent agreement to avoid each other to the end of days? Wait, maybe something was wrong with Cordelia. That was about the only reason I could think of she'd come here to...errr...talk to me.

"Did something happen to Cordelia?" I clutched the bag with weapons closely to my chest, as though that would save me from her. Again.

[wickedslayer]

Man, it would be so easy to just tell him something was wrong with Cordy and that was why I had to bring him to the hotel and keep him there so I could keep an eye on him. But that excuse wasn't gonna fly considering Cordelia wasn't nowhere around and if I wanted to....try and fix anything between the two of us I was gonna have to start out by being honest. Being honest. Sounded easy enough, right? What if being honest included tellin' someone how much you desperately hated them. I probably shouldn't be too honest on second thought.

"Nope," I said quickly, still keeping my hands raised in total surrender mode. "Cordy's at an audition today, I'm here because.....I'm here because remember those vision dream things I had? Or the one that I had where we went and saved that chick?" I looked at him waitin' for a slight sense of muddled confusion to pass over his face. "Well, I had another one of those things and it was featurin' you. You out there gettin' yourself killed doin' whatever it is you're plannin' on doing." I nodded at the bag of weapons he was still clutching in his hands. Suddenly, I remembered. Faulty crossbow. The weapon was damaged and when he went to fire it nothing happened. Glancing at his shoulder I remembered the long gash dug into his shoulderblade because he couldn't get the weapons to work right. No way, not tonight. Wasn't gonna happen if I had anything to do with, if he'd let me have anything to do with it.

Mostly I just wanted to leave him alone and let him die in peace, or well...at least out of my way but I had the sneaking suspicion this poundin' in my head wasn't gonna vacate til I saw this one through. I got the vague sensation that was gonna be how it was with all my visions. The powers said they were givin' me a second calling to bind me to their cause and they gave me one I couldn't escape. Wicked not fair if you asked me. Thought everything was supposed to be all about free will.

"Look, I know you don't trust me." I had a feeling that was the understatement of the year by the incredulous look he was givin' me. "I don't blame you, I hurt you...alot. But I didn't ask for these vision type deals but I got 'em anyway and these powers guys seem to want me to protect you today, so I guess I'm sayin' that your stuck with me. Much as we both might not like it." I nodded down at the gun on the table, still makin' sure to keep a safe enough amount of distance between the two of us. "I brought you a gun, and you can shoot me if you wanna- but I'm tellin' you something's lookin' to kill you tonight and it ain't me."

[_wes_pryce_]

My eyes narrowed when she said nothing was wrong with Cordelia. Far from it in fact if she was at an audition. Then why was she here? I could only think of one reason. And I wasn't the only one if the heavy book Dennis was hovering behind Faith was any indication. Good, at least now I had someone at my side that she couldn't take out with violence.

For all the bloody good that was likely going to do me.

I took another step back as she started about those visions again. Couldn't help but think that those Powers that Be had given her one hell of a good punishment. I felt no real pity for her when she had those pains from her visions, and I thought it was rather ironic that now she'd feel the fear and pain of others. Fear and pain she had no problem inflicting on others herself until recently.

Now, she had to help them. It seemed to be the only way to get rid of the headache that followed said vision.

She was making me nervous, the way she kept looking at me. Or, more nervous then I already was. And to say that I didn't trust her would be the understatement of the year. I snorted at that, giving her a disbelieving look. "Yes," I agreed with her, "It's not as though you've given me much reason to trust you." Or the other way around I suppose. Though, I don't recall torturing her mercilessly until she nearly died.

"Excuse me what?" I glanced over at the gun on the table she pointed out and them back at her. I was stuck with her? She had a vision of me? Bugger that. I doubt the Powers would deem me worthy enough for a vision or saving. They've certainly not done so thus far. Call me paranoid, but I didn't trust her.

"I don't need you help," I said gruffly, sidestepping her. Dammit, I could do this on my own. I didn't need any bloody help. I'd show them once and for all that I could take a demon out as well. I certainly didn't need my former almost murderer trying to baby-sit me. Grabbing the keys from where they are floating in the air, I give her a weary look.

"Dennis will lock the door behind you," I said, still keeping a careful eye on her, just in case before striding out the door. I could do this myself. I was bloody trained for this job.

[wickedslayer]

Of course he didn't need my help, but I just might need his. If I didn't help him than I wasn't gonna have anything to focus on. Nothin' but the pounding headache and the knowledge that something fucked up was about to go on. Not even just the knowledge cause that wouldn't really bug me that much I don't think. It was the fact that I could still feel his terror and I could still feel all that pain. Wasn't fair that not everyone had superpowers and super healing ability like I did. Normal people felt pain differently than I did and I was sick and tired of feeling everybody else's pain. What about my pain? It might not be physical but it was still real.

He started headin' to the door and I gave one last regretful look to the gun on the coffee table before quickly following him out the door and down the hallway, listening as Dennis shut the door and locked up behind us. I wasn't just gonna go away and Wes was just gonna have to...learn to deal with it. Did he think that my idea of fun was following around my failed ex-watcher who I hated with an unnatural passion around the city for the entire day? That was the opposite of fun as far as I was concerned but I was still gonna suck it up and do it. Mostly cause I had no other choice. Neither did he, and whether he liked it or not it was just like he said. Like it or not, we didn't have a choice.

"You do need my help whether you wanna admit it or not, I know you do." I said as I easily caught up with him and fell into step beside him. The bruises had all faded but I knew the scars I'd left would last him a lifetime. I wanted to say sorry like I had that one day where I passed out and went into vision land. But what good did an apology do when the recipient couldn't hear it? What good did it do when it wasn't really all that heartfelt. I wanted it to be, but there was too many things I was still angry about. When would I ever get over all that shit?

The look on his face told me that he clearly didn't even believe me that he was in trouble. "Look. You might not believe me but trust me when I say that if you don't let me come with you you're gonna die today." Quickly I took a deep breath and crossed in front of him so I was standin' in front of him. Knew I was kinda freaking him out but I'd given him the chance to pick up that gun and he'd refused it. "I can prove it! Check your crossbow, it's broken. Faulty. You go to shoot the demon with it and the arrow doesn't work." He was giving me an incredulous look and I put my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes.

"Just humor me and check."

[_wes_pryce_]

As I walked out the door, I quickly paced toward my bike. Getting away from her. I could hear her footfalls behind me as the Dennis locked up the door. Why didn't she just go away? Leave me alone? Hadn't she done enough tormenting of Wesley? Apparently not, apparently she thinks I'm in need of more.

Dropping the bag next to my bike, I reached out for my helmet. ignoring her ramblings. "I do *not* need your help," I insisted through gritted teeth. Why should I believe a girl who took great delight in using me as her personal voodoo doll experiment and never even showed any regret. Sure, she was obviously sorry about hurting Cordelia.

But heaven forbid feeling sorry for anyone else. I hope those vision stay with her for a long time. She's a slayer, she can handle them and learn. Learn about other people's pain. Learn how she has the ability to hurt other people equally as bad and has done so. Not just me, not by a long shot. But all the others she passed on her destructive, psychotic way.

When I turned around to pick up my bag to put it away, she was suddenly in front of me. Flinching, I took a step back, my back connecting with my motorcycle. I stared at her with wide eyes, swallowing hard. "Die?" I blinked at her and snorted. "Then why are you here, Faith. Shouldn't that make you ecstatic?" Isn't that what she wanted?

And she just doesn't give up.

"Oh bloody hell. Fine! If that makes you get the hell away from me, then fine." Rolling my eyes, I kept them on her as I reached for the weapon. Pulling it out, I checked it over with a raised eyebrow. I pulled the bow back, then let it go without any fault. Eyebrow still raised, I looked back up at Faith.

[wickedslayer]

Crossing my arms I watched him as he finally took out the crossbow and went to check it. See! He'd see now that I was right about my vision thingy and now he'd just have to suck it up and accept my help because if he didn't he was gonna die. For real. Watching him I waited patiently as he tested the bow and was about ready to chime in with a big fat I told you so except...it worked. It wasn't faulty at all, the bow was workin' just fine. Narrowing my eyes in confusion I took a step back and glanced at the weapon. Could my vision be wrong? Was it just a dream? Oh yeah, cause I always have dreams while I'm totally awake and in the middle of makin' myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Speaking of? I never actually got to eat that and I was wicked hungry. So now what? Did I just say ooops sorry, musta been a fluke? Go on home and grab some eats and just let Wes deal with whatever he was gonna deal with and hope that he didn't die? Or maybe I just didn't care whether he died or not.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind the throbbing pain in my temple flared back up again so hard I thought it was gonna knock me on my ass for a second. Okay, I guess that was a big fat no to leavin' Wesley to his own devices. Retard'd probably get himself killed faulty crossbow or not and I apparently was gonna have to stop that from happening since the powers were kinda adament about it. Stupid powers. Couldn't they have given this gig to Angel? Or Cordelia? They'd be way better at actually giving a shit than I was. Check me out, I was a total wreck, a fucking mess of a human being. Why did they want me bound to their cause so badly? You'd think they'd be happy to be rid of me. Then again, I guess they were the one's who handed me the slayer gig in the first place. A reason for everything? I wasn't sure I really believed that, and I definitely never believed in myself.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath, Wesley still lookin' down at me expectantly like why the hell wouldn't I just go away now. I couldn't go away I'd end up curled up on the lobby floor all day with the migraine from hell if I did that. Nope. He was just gonna have to deal with the fact that he was totally and completely stuck with me. "I don't know. In my vision you were fighting a demon and you go to shoot it with the crossbow and it doesn't work and then he kills you, Wes! And maybe you think I don't give a fuck and honestly I didn't think I really gave a fuck either but you are stuck with me today. You can't get rid of me, I'm comin' with you." He gave me another look and I stepped back with my hands raised in mock surrender. "I know you don't trust me, I don't blame you-- I totally, I totally fucked up, ok? I'm sorry 'bout that but you gotta believe me when I say you're in trouble and I'm the only one who can help you."

Well, Angel would probably be able to help him too if it wasn't for the pesky daylight issues that vampires seemed to have. So it was, I was the only one and he was just gonna have to accept that.

"Look, you're clearly goin' after something. Got some big baddie to smack down? Why don't you just let me help you? Havin' a slayer on your side's better than any weapon you got in that bag of yours."

[_wes_pryce_]

Confused I looked at her when it seemed she was unfocusing for a second or so. I'm guessing that had to be a vision....thing. I've no idea what else it could be. But either way, I had proven her wrong. The crossbow was working just fine and she was.. well I don't know what she was. Could the Powers be sending faulty visions just to annoy us? I didn't think we were here for their amusement.

Nor did I have to be anyone's amusement.

Stuffing my bag in the saddlebags of my bike, I sighed as Faith tried to figure out what she was supposed to do now. I didn't care either way, I had a job to do. I may not be really a part of Angel's business when it comes to taking down demons, but I could do this on my own. I have been a rogue demon hunter after all. Not to mention that I've been trained for this. Under controlled circumstances. Right, that certainly has worked out in the past.

She kept insisting that this demon would kill me and that the crossbow was faulty. Insisting I couldn't get rid of me and she was going on an on about it. Even admitting she didn't really care. Not that I thought it was in any way about me. It was about her, about getting rid of those images in her mind. That they were showing me, apparently, was just an inconvenience Straightening up, I gave her a look showing clearly I didn't believe me.

Did she just say sorry? For messing up?

I blinked at her, taking a step back and narrowing my eyes at her. "And how do you suppose you're going with me?" I'm taking my back and there is no way I'm giving her a lift. I'll not turn my back to her again. And having her actually sit behind me? That's asking for trouble. So unless she's going to be running after me, she'll have to come with a solution. And fast, the time is ticking away, I thought as I glanced at my watch.

[wickedslayer]

How did I suppose I was goin' with him? Well, how's about the old fashioned way? We could walk, or I guess we could take his...sorta lame excuse for a motorcycle here. I'd have to ride bitch but right now? I'd do whatever it took to get those ugly pictures outta my head, ya know? There was no way I was turnin' around now and runnin' back to the hotel with my tail between my legs. Hell naw. I had a job to do and now? Now I was here to do it whether I liked it or not. Stupid fucking powers. Didn't they realize they picked the worst candidate ever to get their little psychic Miss Cleo readings?

"On the back of your bike?" I asked him tentatively shootin' him a helpless look. "Or ya know, we could walk back to the hotel, hot wire Angel's car." I smirked at him mischievously only to receive a stern look in return. Right. Wes was the watcher who didn't believe in havin' any fun. Guess that meant I had to behave myself or something. Been doin' a whole lot of behavin' lately and damn, I was cursin' out that commercial Cordy was auditioning for today. Cause I knew if anybody could get Wes to listen up it'd be her. She better have gotten the part after all this.

"I don't know. Look, you can be the boss. Just...tell me what you want me to do and I'll....I'll do it." God, it was killin' me to say that but at this point? I was startin' to get a little desperate and desperation led to things like me tyin' him up and throwin' him back inside Cordelia's apartment. Course this time I'd be tying him up to keep him safe. Not that he'd believe that and really? I don't wanna go down that road again for some reason.

Naw. Not some reason. I knew what the reason was and it was her. Cordelia.

He was givin' me a look like he was gonna test just how much I'd listen by ordering me to get the hell away from him. Shit. Hadn't thought about that one. "Unless you're gonna tell me to leave you alone, in which case that's the one thing I can't do today."

[_wes_pryce_]

On the back of my bike? I stared at her with wide eyes. Surely she was joking! Did she actually think I was going to allow her to-to-to…. I don’t think so. Doesn’t she realize that? She must realize that right? I can call Faith any number of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. She has a brain, she’s just too afraid to use it, which is why she keeps jumping over that edge and turn off onto the wrong path. Well, that and her tendency to channel her anger and frustration through violence. I’d show her a different way, but I doubt she’d be willing to even listen to me explain about mediation or Tai Chi and the likes.

The fact that she rectified herself right away, made me pause. She does know, she does realize and she’s trying. Is she? Trying? Taking a small step back, I narrow my eyes as I study her. She keeps on talking, coming up with solutions making it all to clear she’s very serious about not leaving me to go after this demon on my own. That’s….that’s confusing. I know how to handle angry, hateful Faith. By avoiding her at all cost. But this one? I’ve no idea what to do. I’m still afraid of her, though I try to hide that as best I can. But she’s trying. Should I give her a small finger in return, so to speak? Or is she just waiting for me to let my guard down to kill me and get rid of me after all?

Christ she’s confusing the hell out of me.

I think I must’ve given her a rather strange look when she told me I could be the boss and she’d do whatever I told her too. Maybe I could order her to leave me alone. Ah, I guess not. I knew there was a brain in there, now she just needs to use it dammit. “Errr….Faith, not to dwell on the past, but it’s still very fresh in my mind so you’ll have to excuse me. But…Do you really think I’d give you a lift, on the back of my bike, with my own back turned to you?” So what? Hotwire Angel’s car as she mentioned? Take the bus? Cab? Walking is to far for me, we’d never make it on time.

[wickedslayer]

I rolled my eyes involuntarily because this was gettin' frustrating as all hell. Hadn't I already offered him a few other options on that front? Yes, I understood that he wouldn't want me up on the bike with his back to me. Yes, I didn't blame him. Or something. I got all of that and that was why I thought we should go back to the hotel and snag Soul Boy's car. I was sure he'd let us borrow or ya know, I was sure he wouldn't probably notice if we just took the keys and borrowed it. No big, right? It was all in the name of fighting for good and beatin' down the evil. Puppies and kittens and fluffy little rainbows and definitely not killin nobody. Nope. So, Angel wouldn't really mind, right? Or else Wes could stop bein' stubborn and just let me ride on the back of his stupid bike. Taking a step towards him out of frustration I watched him as he flinched before quickly putting my hands up again and taking a step back. Didn't wanna freak him out, but it seemed like whatever I did freaked him out. Tried givin' him that gun! Wasn't my fault he wouldn't take it.

"Look, I get it Wes. I swear I do. You got no reason to trust me. At all. I don't blame you. But do you trust Cordy? You know she'd tell you to just let me tag along. If I was gonna do something stupid again don't you think I woulda hurt her by now? I mean, I been stayin' in that hotel with her for awhile now and we've been sleeping in the same bed everynight for almost as long. She trusts me. Can you at least trust that?" I knew he couldn't deny it cause he'd been around the two of us and her seperately. He'd seen firsthand that Queen C really did trust me and I knew that the two of 'em were pals. That had to count for something, especially since I nabbed her too. He looked a little uncomfortable with the whole me and Cordy sharin' a bed together but if I wanted him to trust me on this one thing? I needed to just be honest with him, C'd taught me that much. And it was true, me and Cor we had...a thing? A something, wasn't sure what it was but I knew I was desperate to hold onto it.

"I don't know how else to convince you, but I can't just let you go off on your own today. Sorry. I just can't." I had to stay firm and somehow come across as none threatening at the same time. Which to be fair? Was a feat all in itself. It was sort of in my nature to be threatening but I was tryin' to tone it down just for him. Couldn't he at least cut me a little slack? I was tryin' to save his life here and he was never gonna forget it. Hell, I couldn't forget it either but Cordelia had been pretty easy to win over in the end. I wasn't sure why I just remembered bein' confused when I woke up and she was standing over my bed tryin' to mend the various wounds I'd gotten from my fight with Angel. Weird girl. But she was mine, or at least she felt like mine a little bit.

[_wes_pryce_]

Grabbing my helmet, my eyes lingered on the pink spare one in the other saddleback. She was making me nervous as hell, but I didn't think anyone could really blame me for that. Well, except Faith, but she seemed to make it a sport to blame me for everything. Especially her own mistakes. At least I admitted I made a mistake, I don't see her doing that. Still, time was running out. I squinted up at the moon, noticing it was about to reach it's full potential which meant the ritual was about to start.

Just as I was about to give up and just go over there with or without Faith on foot, she started to talk. I frowned over at her while I had started to push my bike of its standard. And once again I paused. She's making me pause a bloody awful lot today, it's starting to get disconcerting. But when she started about her and Cordelia, I wasn't actually surprised. Though, I had a feeling Angel might be, not that I cared about that. Mostly I just felt a bit hurt and betrayed by Cordy for doing this. And incredibly confused by Faith for not acting the way she was supposed to.

Wasn't she supposed to kill me? At the very least hurt me? Physically? Dear god, she just said sorry again. Cordelia must be a good influence on her. I wonder how many times Faith apologized to Cordy for what she'd done to her. For some reason I'm willing to bed it's a lot more times then she did to me. Funny how things work like that.

Sighing, I slumped down a bit and glanced over at Faith. She seemed determined. And if she did kill me, as part of me was suspecting, I'd come back to haunt them bloody both. Nerves wrecked through my body too much I nearly felt like running to a corner to vomit. I was going to let the girl who tired to painfully kill me...help me out. By *my* choice, not because she forced me too. She'd lost that privilege for the rest of her life, I hope she realizes that. Oh wait, she doesn't care.

Which is why she is confusing the hell out of me. I guess to her, I'm nothing more then today's little victim.

Sighing, I stared at her when she was done nattering. Part of me thought she might've used the little Cordelia angle to make me jealous. Part of me was angry because she managed to do just that. Even if it was a little bit. Slowly, I reached out for the pink helmet and held it out to her with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't care if you’re the Slayer. You're not getting on my bike without a helmet."

Good lord, what was I doing? I really must have a death wish.

[wickedslayer]

He seemed to think it over for like ever and a day and I was gettin' kinda bored. Didn't we have a demon to smack down? Wasn't that his big mission for the day? Wish that was mine, cause right now? Mine seemed like it was to protect the guy who'd severely fucked up as my watcher, the guy who I'd tied to a chair and cut open to make up for that fuck up. Never really did make me feel better though, hurtin' Wes. Just made me hurt more and I couldn't figure that out even then. It was makin' a little more sense to me now, but things were so completely different now than they were when I'd had him and Cordy held hostage in that apartment. I could see things now that I was never supposed to see, feel things I was never supposed to feel. I wanted to give it up, I wanted them to take it back. I wanted so much it was twistin' my stomach into knots but at the moment? I really wanted to help him, and I wasn't sure why or how.

He took me by surprise when he told me I needed a helmet and was that...? Did he just give in? I mean, he was gonna have to give in cause I wasn't gonna let him go by himself and I knew that he knew that I could do just that if he forced me to. If it meant I had to scare the shit out of him to save his life well then...that was just an added bonus. Taking the helmet from him I looked down and immediately noticed that it was bright pink. Bright pink? What kinda fag drives around in a pink helmet? Glancin' up at him as he put on his own helmet I noticed that his was emphatically not pink. This was the lady's helmet, did Wes ride around with a lot of ladies? I had a hard time believing that he did. Couldn't we just swap? Pink was really more his color than mine.

With a sigh I begrudgingly put on the pink helmet and a small smile almost twitched up the corner of his mouth. A smile which we quickly hid but I'd still seen it. He couldn't hide everything from me and I hoped he was fucking enjoying this moment. Because me? Not so much. Instead he just gave me a look and got on the bike before giving me an expectant look. Now or never, Faith. Climbing on the back of the bike, I tried not to get offended when he flinched as I put my arms around his waist. Well, what the fuck was I supposed to hold on to? Maybe that was his master plan. Not givin' me anything to hold onto and then crashin' the bike or something. Course, that didn't really make much sense when you consider the fact that I'm way more likely to survive a motorcyle crash than he was.

"Ready whenever you are, Boss." I said in a light tone, still holding onto his waist as he started up the motorcycle.