[EM] IM CHAT - Cain/Baileigh
*** "heroineaddict" signed on
heroineaddict: OMG, it's Mr. Congeniality himself!
docabe: uh...what?
heroineaddict: *Eyeroll* Case in point...it's Baileigh Solis. Fellow bad thing slayer from LJ?
docabe: oh. hey, you're the one that had Kiki singing WHEN DOVES CRY all night long!
heroineaddict: Don't look at me! I told her to sing "Kiss" or "1999." They're much more catchy and potentially irritating. : D
docabe: you told her to sing. that's bad enough. she was smacking me with pillows until 2 AM. if i hit girls, i'd smack you one.
heroineaddict: HEY!!!!! That is not nice!!! Besides, I'm a *slayer.* I could kick your ass without even getting winded!
docabe: hey, ask me if i give two shits. kiki's not too far from being your age, i know how to deal with bratty little badasses. so there.
heroineaddict: Bratty little baddasses imbued with demon strength? Yeah. Thought not. The hand on the forehead thing ain't gonna work with me, bub. So THERE.
docabe: bet me. besides, i can do a fuck of a lot more than that.
heroineaddict: It's a bet. I'll even go a little easy on you and *not* break your nose. : P And hey, did you mean that last comment as dirty as it sounded? >:-)
docabe: real fucking cute...and hell with you. you got a dirty goddamn mind, you know that?
docabe: pardon the language.
heroineaddict: It was a JOKE, Callahan! Madre de Dios, you're worse than Carter!
heroineaddict: And you should be sorry. Don't fucking curse at me damnit.
heroineaddict: ; )
docabe: brat.
heroineaddict: Am not!
docabe: you freaking are. you're a brat, and you better quit conspiring with my goddamn sister to drive me batshit crazy.
heroineaddict: But it's fun! It gets boring just tormenting the crap out of Carter! I'm looooonely! :D
docabe: well go torment that Carter guy then and lemme alone. i got enough with my kid sister to deal with. why the hell you pick me to bother, anyway?
heroineaddict: Cause you're so pretty! ;;)
docabe: i'm...what?
heroineaddict: You're so PRETTY!
heroineaddict: My grandmother used to wash my mouth out with soap if I ever called anyone a name. So I learned that when someone was being a complete JACKASS, I could say "you're so PRETTY" and get away with insulting them. :P
docabe: you're insane.
heroineaddict: You're mean!
docabe: you're still insane.
heroineaddict: :(
docabe: anyway...thought i was pretty, not mean.
heroineaddict: Not when pretty is code for JACKASS. Then you're just plain mean.
heroineaddict: You know, I'd think living with someone like Kiki would loosen you up a little.
docabe: hey, i warned you i wasn't exactly a fun guy.
docabe: look, i'm sorry, k?
docabe: i'm just not in the greatest mood.
docabe: most of the time, really.
heroineaddict: It's okay. I can be a pain. At least that's what I'm told.
heroineaddict: So why the perma foul mood?
docabe: keeks says i need a personality transplant. go figure. i don't know, i'm just not the happy go lucky type.
heroineaddict: Right. Sorry. Duly noted. No sense of humor. Got it.
heroineaddict: I do find it kinda funny, though, I mean, you're a doctor. You're supposed to have a bedside manner.
docabe: never said i didn't have a bedside manner. it just sucks hosewater.
heroineaddict: It has to. You're worse than that doctor on TV.
docabe: which one? that...what's his nuts...the guy on that show with the blonde. fuck, kiki loves that goddamn show...
heroineaddict: Yeah, that's the one! See you should be less like him and more like what's his name from ER. You know. The hot guy with the sexy accent that dates Nurse Abby.
docabe: uh...okay. i'll pretend i know what you're talking about.
heroineaddict: You don't watch ER? Ever? At all? Not even in re-runs? Do you like never watch TV at all?
docabe: not much. i like that show, 24, and that other one...the prison show...prison break, that's it. anything else is shit my sister makes me watch. like those craptastic medical shows, and that island one.
docabe: actually, i take that back.
docabe: house is halfway decent.
docabe: and i like the guy hugh laurie plays.
heroineaddict: "The guy Hugh Laurie plays" would be House, genius. ;)
docabe: whatever...i said i watch, didn't say i pay attention.
heroineaddict: Right, big distinction. :P Carter likes 24. I think it must be a guy's show, cause I can't get into it. I got really addicted to ER a couple years back. See I had a part in a commercial, and the network that had it in rotation played a lot of ER reruns, so when I was trying to tape my minute-and-a-half commercial I caught a lot of ER.
docabe: so your post thing was serious about that? you being an actress?
heroineaddict: What, you think I'd lie about it?
docabe: my sister likes to claim that her big brother's jimmy hoffa. lord knows why. same deal.
heroineaddict: Hey! I'm being totally serious! I was in a deodorant commercial! For Secret clear gel!
docabe: when?
heroineaddict: Um...three years ago.
docabe: i'll believe it when i see it.
heroineaddict: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8145498019620198507&sourceid=docidfeed&hl=en
heroineaddict: NEENER.
heroineaddict: I'm Jen's roomate.
docabe: okay, fine, so you're not bullshitting.
heroineaddict: Again I say NEENER.
heroineaddict: I think I only got the part because I wasn't as pretty as the other girl, but whatever.
heroineaddict: You know, being the mean stingy roommate and all.
docabe: you are...crazier than my godamn sister.
heroineaddict: What? Why? Too much with the NEENER?
docabe: i dunno, just...you're crazier than my goddamn sister. and she's plenty fucking crazy.
heroineaddict: WHY?! What did I say? Why am I so crazy all of the sudden? :P
heroineaddict: You're just mad cause you couldn't call bullshit on me.
docabe: you're like a fucking pit bull of...crazy!
docabe: i am not mad!
docabe: what are we, six?
heroineaddict: I'm not crazy! You've just got a massive stick up your ass!
heroineaddict: Yes you are!
heroineaddict: We're not six until I pass you a note that says DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK [ ] YES OR [ ] NO ;)
docabe: i fucking am not! and I DO not! you're just...fuck, it's worse than...oh my freakin'...you are an immature goofball, and about half as cute as you think you are, 'kay?
heroineaddict: That's just mean.
docabe: is not.
heroineaddict: Now's who's immature?
docabe: you are. not me. fully mature over here.
heroineaddict: Don't start trying to be cute and funny now! I'm still mad over you saying *I'm* not cute!
docabe: man, i'm not trying shit. i can be damn fucking cute.
heroineaddict: Yeah. Of course you can. And J. Lo's ass is tiny, Kate Moss is obese, and Orlando Bloom makes a convincing pirate.
docabe: hey, i believed it.
heroineaddict: Oh my God. And here I'd actually credited you with intelligence and taste.
docabe: you don't know me enough to credit me with dick.
heroineaddict: Hey! Jesus, I was trying to kid around with you. God, forget it. Have a nice night.
*** "heroineaddict" has signed off
heroineaddict: OMG, it's Mr. Congeniality himself!
docabe: uh...what?
heroineaddict: *Eyeroll* Case in point...it's Baileigh Solis. Fellow bad thing slayer from LJ?
docabe: oh. hey, you're the one that had Kiki singing WHEN DOVES CRY all night long!
heroineaddict: Don't look at me! I told her to sing "Kiss" or "1999." They're much more catchy and potentially irritating. : D
docabe: you told her to sing. that's bad enough. she was smacking me with pillows until 2 AM. if i hit girls, i'd smack you one.
heroineaddict: HEY!!!!! That is not nice!!! Besides, I'm a *slayer.* I could kick your ass without even getting winded!
docabe: hey, ask me if i give two shits. kiki's not too far from being your age, i know how to deal with bratty little badasses. so there.
heroineaddict: Bratty little baddasses imbued with demon strength? Yeah. Thought not. The hand on the forehead thing ain't gonna work with me, bub. So THERE.
docabe: bet me. besides, i can do a fuck of a lot more than that.
heroineaddict: It's a bet. I'll even go a little easy on you and *not* break your nose. : P And hey, did you mean that last comment as dirty as it sounded? >:-)
docabe: real fucking cute...and hell with you. you got a dirty goddamn mind, you know that?
docabe: pardon the language.
heroineaddict: It was a JOKE, Callahan! Madre de Dios, you're worse than Carter!
heroineaddict: And you should be sorry. Don't fucking curse at me damnit.
heroineaddict: ; )
docabe: brat.
heroineaddict: Am not!
docabe: you freaking are. you're a brat, and you better quit conspiring with my goddamn sister to drive me batshit crazy.
heroineaddict: But it's fun! It gets boring just tormenting the crap out of Carter! I'm looooonely! :D
docabe: well go torment that Carter guy then and lemme alone. i got enough with my kid sister to deal with. why the hell you pick me to bother, anyway?
heroineaddict: Cause you're so pretty! ;;)
docabe: i'm...what?
heroineaddict: You're so PRETTY!
heroineaddict: My grandmother used to wash my mouth out with soap if I ever called anyone a name. So I learned that when someone was being a complete JACKASS, I could say "you're so PRETTY" and get away with insulting them. :P
docabe: you're insane.
heroineaddict: You're mean!
docabe: you're still insane.
heroineaddict: :(
docabe: anyway...thought i was pretty, not mean.
heroineaddict: Not when pretty is code for JACKASS. Then you're just plain mean.
heroineaddict: You know, I'd think living with someone like Kiki would loosen you up a little.
docabe: hey, i warned you i wasn't exactly a fun guy.
docabe: look, i'm sorry, k?
docabe: i'm just not in the greatest mood.
docabe: most of the time, really.
heroineaddict: It's okay. I can be a pain. At least that's what I'm told.
heroineaddict: So why the perma foul mood?
docabe: keeks says i need a personality transplant. go figure. i don't know, i'm just not the happy go lucky type.
heroineaddict: Right. Sorry. Duly noted. No sense of humor. Got it.
heroineaddict: I do find it kinda funny, though, I mean, you're a doctor. You're supposed to have a bedside manner.
docabe: never said i didn't have a bedside manner. it just sucks hosewater.
heroineaddict: It has to. You're worse than that doctor on TV.
docabe: which one? that...what's his nuts...the guy on that show with the blonde. fuck, kiki loves that goddamn show...
heroineaddict: Yeah, that's the one! See you should be less like him and more like what's his name from ER. You know. The hot guy with the sexy accent that dates Nurse Abby.
docabe: uh...okay. i'll pretend i know what you're talking about.
heroineaddict: You don't watch ER? Ever? At all? Not even in re-runs? Do you like never watch TV at all?
docabe: not much. i like that show, 24, and that other one...the prison show...prison break, that's it. anything else is shit my sister makes me watch. like those craptastic medical shows, and that island one.
docabe: actually, i take that back.
docabe: house is halfway decent.
docabe: and i like the guy hugh laurie plays.
heroineaddict: "The guy Hugh Laurie plays" would be House, genius. ;)
docabe: whatever...i said i watch, didn't say i pay attention.
heroineaddict: Right, big distinction. :P Carter likes 24. I think it must be a guy's show, cause I can't get into it. I got really addicted to ER a couple years back. See I had a part in a commercial, and the network that had it in rotation played a lot of ER reruns, so when I was trying to tape my minute-and-a-half commercial I caught a lot of ER.
docabe: so your post thing was serious about that? you being an actress?
heroineaddict: What, you think I'd lie about it?
docabe: my sister likes to claim that her big brother's jimmy hoffa. lord knows why. same deal.
heroineaddict: Hey! I'm being totally serious! I was in a deodorant commercial! For Secret clear gel!
docabe: when?
heroineaddict: Um...three years ago.
docabe: i'll believe it when i see it.
heroineaddict: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8145498019620198507&sourceid=docidfeed&hl=en
heroineaddict: NEENER.
heroineaddict: I'm Jen's roomate.
docabe: okay, fine, so you're not bullshitting.
heroineaddict: Again I say NEENER.
heroineaddict: I think I only got the part because I wasn't as pretty as the other girl, but whatever.
heroineaddict: You know, being the mean stingy roommate and all.
docabe: you are...crazier than my godamn sister.
heroineaddict: What? Why? Too much with the NEENER?
docabe: i dunno, just...you're crazier than my goddamn sister. and she's plenty fucking crazy.
heroineaddict: WHY?! What did I say? Why am I so crazy all of the sudden? :P
heroineaddict: You're just mad cause you couldn't call bullshit on me.
docabe: you're like a fucking pit bull of...crazy!
docabe: i am not mad!
docabe: what are we, six?
heroineaddict: I'm not crazy! You've just got a massive stick up your ass!
heroineaddict: Yes you are!
heroineaddict: We're not six until I pass you a note that says DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK [ ] YES OR [ ] NO ;)
docabe: i fucking am not! and I DO not! you're just...fuck, it's worse than...oh my freakin'...you are an immature goofball, and about half as cute as you think you are, 'kay?
heroineaddict: That's just mean.
docabe: is not.
heroineaddict: Now's who's immature?
docabe: you are. not me. fully mature over here.
heroineaddict: Don't start trying to be cute and funny now! I'm still mad over you saying *I'm* not cute!
docabe: man, i'm not trying shit. i can be damn fucking cute.
heroineaddict: Yeah. Of course you can. And J. Lo's ass is tiny, Kate Moss is obese, and Orlando Bloom makes a convincing pirate.
docabe: hey, i believed it.
heroineaddict: Oh my God. And here I'd actually credited you with intelligence and taste.
docabe: you don't know me enough to credit me with dick.
heroineaddict: Hey! Jesus, I was trying to kid around with you. God, forget it. Have a nice night.
*** "heroineaddict" has signed off