[10Spot] Ten Things I Can't Stand About My Fiancee
For the record, these are things I can, will, and have said to her face...they're also things I've dug up since fucking meeting her. And I don't have many more than ten, so don't hit me too hard, baby.
1) Her Eighties tunes...if she plays PRINCE one more time, I'm gonna put a hole in the wall with my fucking head.
2) Pickle-O's...she loves 'em. They make me puke. But she always makes me try some...did I mention there ain't shit I won't eat? Yeah, it's that bad.
3) Dirt Cake...oh, it's great stuff, but that's the problem: I could eat it all freakin' day. She's tryin' to fatten me up, I swear.
4) The delight she takes in conspiring with my goddamn sister to piss my shit off...okay, I'm only half-counting that. Most times, I think I got it coming.
5) How fucking long it took her to say she'd marry me...I know I messed it up the first time, but she was just fucking stubborn, man...and? She's still on it...refuses to tell me what kind of engagement ring she wants, but she still keeps stealing my fucking jeweler's catalog to look at rings with Kiki and Hank.
6) Her insecurity...it really bugs me sometimes, knowing she may never realize what she means to me. I know she still doubts she can make me happy as a wife, and the idea of being a mother to my kid scares her shitless...but she's the perfect woman. She's already more than I want, she's everything I'll ever fucking need.
7) Her body image...she'd be even sexier if that's fucking possible if she just knew what she looked like. For real. Especially when she wears those black jeans with the rhinestones on a hunt, man...
8) Her purple bedroom...but we're currently working on a compromise, she can keep the godawful sheets and curtains if we can just repaint, but she's being a pain in the ass about it.
9) Her best friend...but he's dating my sister, so that ain't really on her.
10) How quick, hard, and fast that woman made me fall in love with her. Some days it's almost more than I can stand, because I know losing her'd cripple me.
Cain Callahan
Supernatural (OC)
1) Her Eighties tunes...if she plays PRINCE one more time, I'm gonna put a hole in the wall with my fucking head.
2) Pickle-O's...she loves 'em. They make me puke. But she always makes me try some...did I mention there ain't shit I won't eat? Yeah, it's that bad.
3) Dirt Cake...oh, it's great stuff, but that's the problem: I could eat it all freakin' day. She's tryin' to fatten me up, I swear.
4) The delight she takes in conspiring with my goddamn sister to piss my shit off...okay, I'm only half-counting that. Most times, I think I got it coming.
5) How fucking long it took her to say she'd marry me...I know I messed it up the first time, but she was just fucking stubborn, man...and? She's still on it...refuses to tell me what kind of engagement ring she wants, but she still keeps stealing my fucking jeweler's catalog to look at rings with Kiki and Hank.
6) Her insecurity...it really bugs me sometimes, knowing she may never realize what she means to me. I know she still doubts she can make me happy as a wife, and the idea of being a mother to my kid scares her shitless...but she's the perfect woman. She's already more than I want, she's everything I'll ever fucking need.
7) Her body image...she'd be even sexier if that's fucking possible if she just knew what she looked like. For real. Especially when she wears those black jeans with the rhinestones on a hunt, man...
8) Her purple bedroom...but we're currently working on a compromise, she can keep the godawful sheets and curtains if we can just repaint, but she's being a pain in the ass about it.
9) Her best friend...but he's dating my sister, so that ain't really on her.
10) How quick, hard, and fast that woman made me fall in love with her. Some days it's almost more than I can stand, because I know losing her'd cripple me.
Cain Callahan
Supernatural (OC)