1
Hopefully noone knows I still have an account on this thing. I really don't want anyone reading, yet alone commenting on my own journal but I'm too depressed to go sifting through the options to change it. Today was the first day that I've ever actually attempted to kill myself with all intent on actually dying and not getting attention. On the way home I tried to run my car into a telephone pole but I chickened out at the last minute. What's amazing is that I didn't chicken out for any reason other than I'm scared of how much it will hurt. I don't care about the shit I leave behind or what my family or friends would think. I just want out. It isn't worth living for, this misery. To think this is day 1. Hell, to think I'm going to keep track. Hopefully I'll get over my fear and wont even have to get to the double digits. I'm out of things to say. I don't care enough to sit here and type how I feel. I'll just disappear.