Day 1 - Life on my own...
Hey. Today is day number 1 for being alone. Me and Destiny broke up last night. I guess she isn't sure if I am the one she wants to be with. So I told her if she wants to go out with other people to see if thats what she wants it's alright with me. It does hurt a little. Knowing that all the times she told me she loved me...weren't true. All those times we did stuff and she didn't know if I was the one. Hurts really bad. I can't sleep. I've been laying in bed for 3 hours trying but it isn't gonna happen. I'm going to try and keep going the best I can without her by my side. I know it will be difficult, and there is no guarantee that she will come back to me. She might find someone else she likes more than me and make them happy. But thats okay with me. I just want her to be happy. I really do. It's weird you know? Knowing that all those times we'd jokingly fight about who loved the other more. I always did. And all the things she told me she wanted at our wedding and where she wanted to live and how she wanted me to build her a castle on her own private beach on her own private island. Of course after the break up happened I had no one to talk to. I really needed someone but that's how it goes. My main source of comfort came from her, but what do you do when your comfort is the one hurting you? I guess I'll just try and keep my head high and keep my hopes that she'll find out what she wants. I do love you Destiny. I hope you realize that now if you haven't before. If any of my friends are willing to help out and spend some time with me so I'm not alone I'd really appreciate it. I know you guys have your own agendas and I'm not asking you to cancel any other arrangements, but I really need some comfort right now to help me keep my hope...and essentially me...alive. Thanks to all those people for being there for me in the past and those that will be there for me now. Time to go for me. Maybe since I got this off my chest I can sleep some. Good luck, Destiny. I wish you the best...