Its been so long, I dont think Ill even be remembered ...
I really must stop doing this whole "leaving LJ for three months and coming back and trying to figure out where the heck I left off at " thing.
Well, of course my husband is gone now. I always meant to sit down and type up all the crap that has gone down since then, but it always seemed like too overwhelming of a task -- just getting through the day was all that I could take at some points, and actually trying to type it all out was proving to be much too daunting of a task for me to undertake.
But here we are. Exactly one month has passed since hes deployed. Its been a mix of very rough and very easy ... depending on what time of the day you ask me I suppose.
I took off to MI and it was the worst thing I could have done! Once it was time for Devon to go back I jetted down to GA to be with Dana. It was the best, being with Devon, but the worst because my family is just totally rocked to its core and they cant handle anything. My grandma has been in and out of the hospital SIX times in the last 2 months, and it doesnt look like its getting any better. I stayed to try to help, but my idea of help is very different from my families. I was there, in a house with TEN people, sleeping on a couch in a living room, with NO car, NO way to go anywhere, and no one to talk to. It was a nightmare situation, and I had to get out ASAP. Its been much better being here with Dana (I always have my own room at D & D's!), but all in all Im ready to go home.
Though home scares me a bit - the people that I had the greatest bonds with are all gone. I started that meetup group, but I dont think I exactly "click" with anyone that is in it ... they are all SUPER nice, but I havent had the chance to see if I really have a lot in common with anyone. Im worried about being lonely. But of course Im going to be lonely ... the only cure for that is halfway around the world.
As far as Allen goes, he had a rough adjustment, but he is doing a lot better. I dont know how I got so lucky, but I did. And Im so worried that its going to get fucked up. I am SO pessimistic these days! Its so unlike me, and Im hoping that it goes away SOON dammit!
Anyhow, I hope Im back now ... well see how it goes. There is something so cleansing about LJ'ing, but also something so damn TIRING about sitting down and actually letting out the feelings that you are hoping to ignore.
Well, of course my husband is gone now. I always meant to sit down and type up all the crap that has gone down since then, but it always seemed like too overwhelming of a task -- just getting through the day was all that I could take at some points, and actually trying to type it all out was proving to be much too daunting of a task for me to undertake.
But here we are. Exactly one month has passed since hes deployed. Its been a mix of very rough and very easy ... depending on what time of the day you ask me I suppose.
I took off to MI and it was the worst thing I could have done! Once it was time for Devon to go back I jetted down to GA to be with Dana. It was the best, being with Devon, but the worst because my family is just totally rocked to its core and they cant handle anything. My grandma has been in and out of the hospital SIX times in the last 2 months, and it doesnt look like its getting any better. I stayed to try to help, but my idea of help is very different from my families. I was there, in a house with TEN people, sleeping on a couch in a living room, with NO car, NO way to go anywhere, and no one to talk to. It was a nightmare situation, and I had to get out ASAP. Its been much better being here with Dana (I always have my own room at D & D's!), but all in all Im ready to go home.
Though home scares me a bit - the people that I had the greatest bonds with are all gone. I started that meetup group, but I dont think I exactly "click" with anyone that is in it ... they are all SUPER nice, but I havent had the chance to see if I really have a lot in common with anyone. Im worried about being lonely. But of course Im going to be lonely ... the only cure for that is halfway around the world.
As far as Allen goes, he had a rough adjustment, but he is doing a lot better. I dont know how I got so lucky, but I did. And Im so worried that its going to get fucked up. I am SO pessimistic these days! Its so unlike me, and Im hoping that it goes away SOON dammit!
Anyhow, I hope Im back now ... well see how it goes. There is something so cleansing about LJ'ing, but also something so damn TIRING about sitting down and actually letting out the feelings that you are hoping to ignore.