Comments | beyondtherift: [locked] and a heaviness in my head.

willnotbemine in beyondtherift

[locked] and a heaviness in my head.

Jan 10, 2012 03:50

[ OOC: Continued from here ]

It's been a while since Lena talked to a younger demon.

There was something about meeting this one that struck a chord.

Not that Lena saw herself exactly as she was all those years ago, but there were enough similarities she couldn't help but take to her. She remembers being that uncertain. She remembers being that ( Read more... )

lena austen, jessica ryan

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edgeofhorizons January 11 2012, 03:34:50 UTC

Jess was not really expecting to talk to an older demon. Rachel suggested it, but Jess wasn't sure how to find one or if she'd find answers that would help her. It feels like demons who adjust, who have families, who love are the rarity.

She doesn't know if that's because she's been watching her mother this whole time, learning what she knows about demons from the woman who manipulates and uses and twists people. There's nothing really human about her mother, and it's hard to see beyond that far enough to think that there's hope.

Jess folds her arms together, looking uncertain which is a rarity for her. She's one of those people that fit wherever she is, that's confident enough, but this is the one area where she doesn't have that confidence. She slips a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mocha latte. Thanks for paying," she says with a small smile. And for everything, whatever the reason it helps to know that not every demon ends up like her mother.

At least not at first.

willnotbemine January 11 2012, 08:31:34 UTC

Lena, for her part, displays no uncertainty whatsoever.

She breezes into the coffee house the way she steps into any place. Confident without ever being overly arrogant, like there's absolutely nothing she owes anyone. It'd almost be a strut if she put a little more oomph into it, if you will.

"No problem," Lena says with a smile of her own, a friendly kind of smile that makes her approachable.

She's learned to be for whenever there used to be a scam, the person you least expect, but this time it's natural and genuine.

Once they find a table, Lena sits across from her as they wait for their respective coffees. "Are you from Chicago originally or did you move here?" she asks with interest, playing with one of the napkins idly. Her hands always have to be busy.

edgeofhorizons January 11 2012, 10:48:11 UTC

It helps to relax her. Jess can sense the certainty, the sincerity of her friendliness. Lena is confident without being arrogant, and she's not treating this like a big thing, which is what is making Jess feel so... uncertain ( ... )

willnotbemine January 12 2012, 03:38:31 UTC

Lena wouldn't want to make things weird by treating it like a big thing, or noticing that Jess is so uncertain. She doesn't want to put the younger girl on the spot or make her feel like she's watching her every move, even if she seems to understand that it is ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 12 2012, 05:33:46 UTC

It's a big, big deal for her to talk about it, to talk about it with someone that she's just met especially but even just to say the words out loud, it's hard to handle ( ... )

willnotbemine January 12 2012, 09:23:22 UTC

Lena can feel it ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 13 2012, 10:39:35 UTC

Jess swallows thickly, just a little thickly. She doesn't glance up at the waiter when he come, but she does wrap her hands around the coffee as soon as it is brought to her ( ... )

willnotbemine January 15 2012, 08:21:51 UTC

Lena doesn't have to think of her answer. "Yeah, it really is," Lena says. Chicago is better for her for many reasons, none of which she could all list on the spot, but they're there, and they may be hard to remember when things are tough but that doesn't make them any less real. "I wouldn't go back if there was ever the option ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 17 2012, 11:00:51 UTC

"It's kind of nice to hear the Rift... having helped someone for once instead of destroying their life completely," Jess says, and it's rare that the Rift ever saves someone's life instead of the opposite ( ... )

willnotbemine January 18 2012, 04:11:31 UTC

"Ah, well. It's not all bad. And the saying that it could be worse? Tends to be true, in my experience," Lena says, though she's well-aware of how rare it can be, and for the first years that she found herself here, she couldn't have been able to say what she's saying not, much less believe it to the degree that she does ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 18 2012, 09:18:41 UTC

"Yeah, Chicago kind of teaches you that it can always be worse," Jess says with a small smile, and it doesn't change what you're going through at that time, but it does make you grab on to the things that make it better. The people that you love ( ... )

willnotbemine January 19 2012, 03:17:38 UTC

"That tends to be an ongoing theme here in the city. A good one," Lena says when Jess answers her friends are also like her family. When so much can be taken from you in the blink of an eye, when absolutely nothing is guaranteed, you hold on to what you can, and the people around you can either have a stabilizing effect or they can envelop you into an environment that's as toxic as that voice in your head ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 21 2012, 06:29:02 UTC

“Yeah, most people I’ve talked to and been able to get to know, they’ve said the same,” Jess says with a small smile, and she doesn’t know what she’d do without them, without her friends. They are family. Without her friends, she wouldn’t have a family and there would be just the demon and her, and she has no doubts that the demon would end up winning ( ... )

willnotbemine January 24 2012, 03:00:50 UTC

"It works," Lena says with a nod. It was a novel concept to her, too. When the urges hit, Lena would resort to other methods, none of which were... better or less destructive, but at least she wouldn't hurt anyone other than herself, which was the fear. Which was the problem. If she got high or if she got drunk or the thousands of other alternatives laid out before her, she was hurting herself and not twisting someone else around ( ... )

edgeofhorizons January 27 2012, 22:53:37 UTC

Jess doesn't and cannot trust very easily. Any solution, it-- it doesn't seem nearly as strong a the voice inside of her head that influence everything that she dose. She doesn't know how-- how this will work or if it will work, but she wants to believe it. More than anything else in the world, she wants to believe that it could be true. She wants it to be true, and she doesn't even know what she wants out of life.

She doesn't know if it's true... what will happen to her? What will she do after this year of high school is over? The demon wants her to leave and to make its own way in the world, but ( ... )

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