open » do you know what's worth fighting for?
She’s cold. Her head hurts. She’s hungry. Really hungry.
But Vicki does her best to push those thoughts aside as she runs. The perks, as Damon called them, weren’t so bad. Maybe it would only get better, though she imagines it would be the latter. The brisk air of the night keeps her hair behind her as she does her best to navigate at such a speed ( Read more... )
But Vicki does her best to push those thoughts aside as she runs. The perks, as Damon called them, weren’t so bad. Maybe it would only get better, though she imagines it would be the latter. The brisk air of the night keeps her hair behind her as she does her best to navigate at such a speed ( Read more... )
"Y-- yeah, it's me," he says, and his voice is a little hoarse. Why does everybody have to die on me? He asked that after she died, and she wouldn't be the last that he lost either. There were three more deaths to come, and he clears his throat.
He freezes when she makes her way over to him, aware-- Jeremy sees how quickly it happens, and he knows that she's fallen through after she's been turned. He hates that she was ever turned at all, and there is some surge of hate at the thought. It's hate directed completely at Damon.
"I'm... You fell through a Rift. You're in Chicago, Vicki." His hand slides behind his neck as he looks at her, concern in his gaze. He rests his hand against the top of hers. "There's no way back to home, and we're--" Jeremy closes his eyes and then looks at her again. "I'm sorry."
Sorry for not being able to protect her, not being able to stop her from dying the first or the second time. Sorry that he'd forgotten for so long what had really happened to her even if that was something his sister asked Damon to do.
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“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t pull us through here on purpose. It’s not your fault.” She smiles a little, lifting his hand to softly kiss his fingertips. The warmth he has is comforting. Enough so to put her at ease, but she’s picked up that something still isn’t quite right.
The not going home didn’t really catch her attention. If Matt was here she would find him later. Because…he had to be here, right?
“Tell me why you’re so nervous, too. Did something happen? I was going to call you. I called Matt and told him I was ok and I was going to see him. Then…I was going to see you. Right after that. I know it was a few days and that thing at the cemetery, but I’m ok, Jer.” It feels like she’s explaining herself to her parents but she really is trying to assure him. She had been fine those few days she went missing - she just couldn’t come out during daylight hours. And Stefan did his best to lock her in the house at night, too.
But she can fix that now. She slips one hand up to cup his cheek, using her thumb to trace his lips.
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All of it is so hard to explain. He doesn't know how to say that it's been so much time since he's seen her. That he fell for someone after she was gone and they died too. And then he fell for someone else. The words don't come. He doesn't know how they could.
At least if she-- if she tried to drink from him accidentally now, he would just come back to life in a few minutes. He's still wearing his ring. Jeremy knows how unstable her sister said she was when she was... killed the second time. He wouldn't blame her.
"Vicki--" He doesn't move too much. There's a familiarity to her touch, and it calls to that part of himself that's always aching, that feels lonely even when he's surrounded by people. "It's complicated."
And he doesn't want to upset her especially not right now. He doesn't even know where he should take her because she would-- she is not going to be safe at the Tower right now. Jeremy could ask Damon if she could stay with him, but he is the one that killed her and this is- "I haven't seen you... in a really, really long time, but I know... you're not ok. I know what happened. I figured it out a lot later back home."
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Her brows do furrow in confusion when he starts talking again. He hadn’t seen her in a while? It had only been a few days. She hoped she didn’t lose track of that much time, though a part of her doubted that was the case.
And his last words make her body tense.
You’re not ok. However he found out - how much time had it been? She let’s her gaze go down to her feet before looking up to him, a thousand unreadable emotions on her face. Her hand falls from his face, and though she means to let it fall to her side, she ends up gripping his shirt.
It didn’t change her, she truly believed that. She was still Vicki. The same one he’d fallen for before. The same one with the problems, just now they were vampire problems. But the way he’s looking at her so torn, she can tell there’s more to it.
That doesn’t stop the anger in her voice.
“I didn’t want this.”
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He swallows thickly, looking down before he manages to look back up at her. This is harder than he ever thought it could be, and right now, his best idea about where to take her is Damon's apartment.
And Jeremy would want to move in with her to make sure Damon didn't kill her this... time. Not that there would be anything he could do. Not that Damon is going to be easy to convince.
And Elena would not be happy with that.
At all.
Jeremy is trying not to think about that. He doesn't even know how he'd manage to convince Damon to let this happen, but he knows that it has to if Vicki stands any chance of not suffering the same fate again. Damon drinks blood from human bags here. He doesn't kill people.
He could theoretically help Vicki.
Theoretically. Not that Damon can be trusted or that Damon helps anyone unless he has his own selfish needs behind it.
He looks up at her, shaking his head and resting his hand on her arm to steady her and somehow steady himself too. "I know. I know you didn't. It wasn't your fault, okay? Look we should go somewhere more safe. There's this Tower where people like us stay, but it's-- I don't know if you should go there right now while you're-- while you're still new at this."
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Until he’s finished, at least. Then she tries to think of something to say, some reaction that he can’t respond negatively to. His behavior has put her on a little more edge, but she’s not willing to point that out now.
“So where am I supposed to stay?” It sounds more anxious than anything, but her tone is quiet; curious, even. Her grip on him loosens until her arms are by her side. She then crosses them.
And she has so much more she wants to ask. Where has he been staying? With who? Was he actually afraid of her or just the damage she might cause?
So long as he wasn’t ashamed of her, she’d take the worst answers for any of the questions. So she simply asks:
“Where are you going to stay?”
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He releases a breath, shaking his head. He's still wracking his brain for an idea, but Damon is the best bet. It's the matter of finding something that convinces him to take her in, take him in too.
"I-- Damon's here too. He has an apartment. I can try to convince him to let you move in with him," Jeremy says as he looks at her, because it's the best idea that he has.
He doesn't know how he'll convince him but he has to try.
"I don't know yet, Vicki. I was at the Tower then I moved somewhere else with Elena, but I want to... I want to take care of you. I don't think I really did before, and-- You should come with me."
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Damon had killed her. Twice. And he'd probably do it again under any circumstances. But she wasn't exactly afraid of him.
At least he'd let her have people blood.
"Is Stefan there?" And as she asks, she's trying to consider other options. Even though she knows nothing about this place or who's in it.
"You never did anything wrong." It's a firm statement, and she's very serious in saying it. Aside from Matt, whose job it was to take care of her, Jeremy always looked out for her. Even when she didn't want him to. She still could feel that there was more than what he was telling her now but didn't want to press it. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.
"Am I going with you or Damon? I'll go, Jer, but I'd rather just stay where you are."
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Even if it didn't have the results he likely intended.
"No, there's no Stefan. It's Elena, Damon, and me from our world. That's all," he says as he slides his hand through his hair. "I'd... I'd want you to be able to go to the Tower. You get the most support there from everyone. It's like a community. But if--"
If she kills someone, she wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want that to happen either.
You never did anything wrong. Jeremy looks at her for a moment, and he doesn't know that he can believe that.
It's difficult.
"I'll stay with you, Vicki," he promises, and there's so much to say but he wants it to come from him. He doesn't want it to happen until she's adjusted to this place either. "When you get... I mean when you feel like you can be around people without the-- you could go to the Tower instead."
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"I can go. I'll be ok." Only she won't. And somewhere she knows it, especially with so many unfamiliar faces, but it was a risk she was willing to take.
No matter how careless.
And the way he starts the explanation sets her hopes high. Enough for her to bare her teeth in a smile-- then he finishes. Of course he wouldn't just come with her, he'd stay with his sister over her. And maybe she was selfish for wanting otherwise but whatever.
She was selfish.
"Why don't you just come with me? Until you trust me around everyone." She could play the 'Damon isn't safe' card but he already knew that. He had to by now - and the way he seemed to trust him enough to let her stay there was enough to tell her it'd be hard to talk him out of it.
Or maybe a part of him didn't care. Unlikely, but it would make sense. She always just stumbled in on his life, and right now he was borderline freaking out about it.
"Just go with me. Or take me to the Tower or whatever." And she leans back forward, resting the side of her head against his shoulder and anxiously waiting for his answers.
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He looks at her as she insists that she'll be okay. "I don't know if you will yet. I know you can beat this thing, okay? I know it." It's not a risk that he's willing to take. "But... I'm from way into your future, a future where you don't disappear into a Rift."
A future where she dies instead, and he can't say that out here on the street at all so he lets the words fall from his lips. It's complicated. He wants to protect her, but he wants to protect Elena too. Jeremy doesn't even know how he-- how to deal with the fact that Vickie is here.
She is here when he thought she was dead this whole time.
When there was Annie and then Bonnie.
When they were together, it was so much about the drugs and he grieved when she disappeared. He was broken, but he dealt with it and he doesn't know how to deal with this. He's not the same kid he was when she knew him, but he still wants more than anything to make certain this time--
This time nothing happens to her.
Now he's experienced both of them dying. The only difference is that Elena came back. Elena's in danger here for reasons he can't say out loud so he wants to try to protect them both, but he's not able to do so.
"Because Vickie... I couldn't stop you. If you were hungry or just... reacted, I wouldn't be able to stop you from hurting someone in the Tower. You could hurt me without wanting to or meaning to," Jeremy says quietly, sliding his hand over his finger. "Now this ring... it means that I'll come back if anything did happen but no one else has something like this. Do you really want to take that risk?"
He looks at her carefully.
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She also doesn't make it a question intentionally.
"Fine. I get it, whatever. It was only so long before you got bored or tired of taking care of--" And she let's her sentence go. She doesn't want to go into it and she's on the verge of something. She isn't able to depict if it's breaking down or freaking out. This transition made all her emotions rage.
And she knew she couldn’t control them, let alone her new craving for blood.
She lowers her gaze to his ring, a little curiously but more so she has time to blink away the tears in the backs of her eyes. Would she be willing to risk it? For all those people who would probably never care about her? She would, but she knows he doesn’t want to hear that.
And taking things the worst way possible with everything she was feeling wasn’t helping her judgment, right?
“No.” She pauses, still focusing on the ring. “Tell me where Damon is and I’m out of your hair, Jer.”
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He stares at her and then glances down at the floor before looking up at her again.
"What? Vicki, you don't know-- You don't know what happened. That's not it at all," he says sa he looks at her. "I've always cared about you. You know that. That's-- It's not something you just get tired of."
Jeremy watches as she looks down at his ring and then he moves forward, resting a hand against her arm.
As gently as possible. There's some intensity to it too. Jeremy's never been known for a lack of emotion, and it's gotten him in trouble at times. He needs to convince her to listen to him, and he knows-- he has heard that emotions run high after the turn.
It's what happened with Caroline. He wishes he could have known about her too. He would have helped.
He knows she's already freaking out, and he doesn't want to make it worse.
"Look I'm not just going to let you get out of my hair. I want to help you. I want to take care of you. I don't want you--" He shakes his head. "You don't even know where we're at. How are you going to find your way to Damon's, Vick?"
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He's telling her she's wrong, she's believing it.
It does get a faint smile to cross her lips, though. Not a happy reassuring one, a more sympathetic one. She wishes she knew what she was sorry about but she just doesn't.
She's confused and can only imagine how much of that is rubbing off on him. Still a little bitter, but happy to see him at the same time. And curious -- very curious about her future. Their future. She looks down to his hand that's on her arm before continuing. Her tone is soft and she hopes itsunreadable.
She isn't sure what she's feeling, but it isn't good.
"Well he always shows up on his own? If I looked long enough I figured he'd find me." She finishes with a somewhat childish shrug. "You'll come see me until I can stay with you?" She hesitantly locks eyes with him
"And one day...you'll tell me what happened?"
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He wishes he could tell her so she'd understand, but he doesn't-- he doesn't want to do it here on the sidewalk as soon as she's fallen into this world. It doesn't seem fair to her.
How does he even begin to tell her everything that happened? How can he say the words to her that she died especially knowing it's at Damon's hands and they'll be going to Damon's apartment. It's so much more complicated than he could ever begin to explain.
Jeremy sucks in a breath that's sharp-- that hurts more than he'd like to admit to.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't-- You shouldn't just wander around. He has blood you can drink," he says quietly. Blood that doesn't result in someone dying. "I'm going to stay with you for the first week at least. I don't know if I trust him completely still. He's impulsive... when he's emotional. I don't even know if he'd say yes."
There's the slightest pause at the question. Almost like he's been hit in the stomach. His hand slides back into his hair.
"I'll tell you as soon as you ask me, whenever you want to know. I just didn't want to say it all out here. On the street..." His hand slides behind his neck as he looks away, biting back some feeling rising up in his throat.
It feels a little like fire, like something's going to burn him up from inside.
"C'mon," Jeremy says gently, keeping one hand on her arm still as he starts off toward Damon's. They're not far, but he still... doesn't know what he'll say when they arrive.
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And she still wants to know exactly how he's feeling; is he happy to see her? It's hard to tell.
"People blood?" The question comes out as a blurt, before he can even finish his sentence. Once he does, she says, "It's better than the other stuff...Stefan gave me this...yeah." She tucks her hair behind her ear. The fact that he'll be staying, even if only for a short time, makes her feel better.
But her attention shifts to him and she can tell her question bothers him. Good, it's another reason to hold off on it.
"Soon. After...this shit fest calms down." She wraps her arm around his, going in the direction of the new place she'd be staying.
Maybe.
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