[open] open up this moment and bury me inside.

[starryeyed_cass]

Quite alone, or so she believes, Cassie Riddle can be found up on the roof of the Kashtta Tower today. She hasn't left her room in over a week and it's been driving her crazy. She needed to get out and some air without walking the streets - so the roof seemed the best place for her to be. Even though it's pouring it down - she's stood, leaning

Comments

/spams

[sitherequietly]

Castiel feels more for the people he cares about than he'd like to admit. He doesn't feel specifics -- he doesn't know all the answers before he gets there -- but it's almost as though he can sense that she's in trouble.

In all reality, it's probably just a coincidence that he winds up on the roof at the same time as she does, but that doesn't change the fact that he is worried about her. Living in Chicago has been ... complicated, to say the least.

"Hello, Cassie."

/snugs and noms all your spammmm :3

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie doesn't look up at first, she continues to stare down at the streets below. Her knuckles have gone white as she grips on to the railings. If he's likely to notice, she's a great deal skinnier than the last time they saw one another - even though it was only around two weeks ago. She's not eating, not that she's forcing herself not to - she just doesn't have the energy or just forgets.

"Hi Cas," she utters, most of her voice muffled with the rain.

She slowly turns her head to look at him wearily and swallows hard. "I wasn't going to jump,"

[sitherequietly]

"I didn't think you were." And that is sincere, not that anything Castiel says ever isn't. He takes a step closer to her and extends a hand, wanting to pull her away from the railing and closer to the door. It is a very windy city after all.

"But it's still a long way down."

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie frowns for a moment, "I wouldn't blame anyone if they thought so," she says quietly, turning back to look at the streets. Iris did, though. She jumped. Did she die straight away? Was it painless? Or did she suffer because it wasn't high enough?

"Maybe," she says after a long pause, holding back a sob that rises in her throat. She glances at his outstretched hand for a few moments before very quietly and slowly taking it.

"I still like it up here, though. It's quiet,"

[sitherequietly]

He takes her hand gently, pulling her away from the railing and starting to walk her back towards the door. He had promised her no more teleporting, but if he had had his way, he would have zapped her off the roof the second he saw her.

"I am sorry about your friends, Cassie." He has been paying attention to the journal. He knows that she has been through a lot.

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie would certainly be grateful for that. She isn't much of a fan of teleportation, it makes her feel sick. She slows down to a stop as soon as they're clear from the edge of the roof. "Can.. we stay out here? If you don't mind? I know it's raining.. but.. I've.. I've been inside too long,"

She quickly falls silent as he speaks and looks down. She feels guilty about Iris - she should have stopped it from happening, helped her through it. But..

"I should have helped Iris. It shouldn't have ended this way," she says softly, "As a friend, I failed,"

[sitherequietly]

Castiel nods. He doesn't mind the rain as much as a normal person would. It's just another state of being to be in, and he won't get sick from it. He is aware that she will, though, and he slides his trench coat off his shoulders to try and wrap it around her.

"You didn't fail. Some things ... we are incapable of stopping. Fate makes decisions, and it is very hard to subvert her." Castiel knows this from experience. He and Atropos are on somewhat friendly terms, but he has no idea where they stand now, given the fact that he subverted the Apocalypse.

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie smiles at him as he wraps his trench coat round her. There's a brief flicker of worry in her face. Because that's how she'll always be: concerned for her friends.

"Fate made the wrong decision," she says bitterly, shaking her head. "Fate was wrong. Iris should still be here. She was just a bloody kid, Cas,"

She can feel her voice rising as she speaks and she's almost shouting. She's angry, because this whole world is wrong. Because those who don't deserve to die have.

"Besides... fate or not. I still feel like I have. Nothing is going to change that. She was like a little sister to me and just like my brothers back home - I should have protected her, helped her heal," she sighs softly, "And I didn't,"

[sitherequietly]

"I know she was," he nods. He had met Iris, and while he isn't sure that she made the best friends, she had a good heart. He had at least seen that much.

"You cannot protect everyone, Cassie. No matter how much power you have. Sometimes these things must come to pass in order for better things to happen."

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie looks down at his words, feeling fresh tears splash down her face. She's done more than enough crying lately, enough to make her think she couldn't do it anymore. She was wrong, then.

"How can anything good come out of this?" she asks with a small shake of her head. "How can better things happen? She's gone... and I just.. There's this awful feeling in my chest and I can't breathe,"

She wipes at her face, "All my friends are leaving me and one day I feel like I'll have none left, because this horrible bloody city is going to take them all away,"

[sitherequietly]

Castiel doesn't know how to make this better for her. He's not exactly the best at comforting people as it is, and this ... is not a situation he's prepared to answer. But he's going to try, if nothing else.

"Not all of them," he replies softly. "I am not easy to kill." Even though he's died twice. "I will be here for you, if nothing else."

[starryeyed_cass]

She looks up at him for a few moments in silence, a smile wobbles at her lips as she cries. And now you are going to get a clingy, grateful hug, Cas.

She hiccups and practically flings herself against him, hugging fiercely. "Good, I'm glad. I don't want you to leave. I won't let it. The Rift won't get you, nothing. You can't leave," are all she says in a muffled voice.

Cassie's quiet for a little while, still hugging him. She's still thinking about Iris. And despite her own grief for the loss of her friend, she's worried about Iris. About what comes for her after death. She knew Iris had come from an afterlife, but.. this time, it's different and she's scared. "Cas...? Is there a Heaven in this world?"

[sitherequietly]

Castiel gently places his arms around her, keeping her close as she gets whatever she needs to get out, out. He takes a breath at her question, before looking down as he thinks it over.

"I like to believe there is. It's not a Heaven I have access to, but I find it hard to think of a world without it."

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie bites down on her lip as she listens to him. Sometimes she wishes she could always know for herself if Heaven existed. It would definitely give her comfort about death. But if Castiel believes there is one here then she's going to believe him and find comfort there instead. But...

"I'm scared she won't be there... because of how.. of what she did," she says very quietly. "Iris said there was an afterlife in her world, she was there when she died the first time. But Chicago's different, I think everything's different this time for her,"

She swallows back a sob, "She'll be okay? She'll be allowed to go there because she was a good person, right?"

[sitherequietly]

That Castiel isn't sure he can answer. Everyone's Heaven was different, and he didn't want to make assumptions regarding the one from this world, but he also knows that sometimes, it is appropriate to lie to make a friend feel better.

"Yes. I believe she will be."

[starryeyed_cass]

Cassie knows that he might not know everything about this world. But it's something she needs to be told. If she hears it, then maybe somewhere in her head - something will click. She'll be one step forward. So right now, she'll gladly take a comforting lie over the uncertainty of truth.

"I won't ever understand why she chose to do what she did. Why she didn't hang on," she says quietly, "But it's... it's good to know that there's somewhere safe. Even in this Chicago. It makes me feel a little lighter inside,"

She pulls away from the hug and glances briefly at the stormy skies above. Sighing softly, she smiles at Castiel, "Thank you,"