[backdated to early Christmas morning]
December 25th, very, very early morning. Just after midnight. All isn't quiet in Chicago, but then, when is it ever? There's people spilling out of bars and clubs, celebrating the coming of the day with a little too much alcohol and quite enough joy for the entire city. There are couples in Grant Park, taking a stroll to enjoy the freshly-
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It's Christmas after all. Two years ago, the REAL Santa Claus came through giving people impossible gifts. That was before she was sixteen, but her father received something impossible and her grandmother did too. She got a very nice bracelet that she'd seen once and never told anyone that she had wanted.
She still has that bracelet.
When she steps out into the apartment, she notices a package on the counter marked to Elizabeth from Santa. She opens it to find the videotape inside with her mother's name on it... and the year... the year before she was born. Her heart jumps up into her throat, and she runs to the TV, placing the video tape into the VCR and falling down on the floor in front of it.
She must be inches away from the screen. It's almost difficult to focus with the way that her heart is thudding in her ears, but it's her mom. It's her mom.
Hi Sunshine! That's what I wanted to call you, but Paul... you know him as your dad? He said that you'd get teased at school forever so... no Sunshine, but I think I'll still call you that. It could be like a sweet mother-daughter nickname, right? You don't hate it, do you?
Anyway, I thought I'd make you this video in case like later on you get older, and you wonder what's all the stuff that goes into making a baby. Let me tell you something, Sunshine, this video does not cover the best part, and if you're really older when you finally see this video, I'm not talking about what you think I'm talking about.
The best part is going to be when I get to see your face. I haven't yet, but I can sense it, okay? I have a good sense for things as I'm sure you've found out.
Elizabeth sits back, swallowing. There isn't much to the video. It lasts only about ten minutes in total, but there's so much in it. It is the first time she's ever heard her mother talk to her before, and she's so happy and so grateful that she got this chance to see it.
It's her mom in the flesh, and she can see all the aspects of her that are similar to her mom, despite the fact that they never actually met. It's like her mom's always been with her.
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He does agree it's a waste. And the coal better not have messed with the gifts underneath the tree. The gifts were bought by him, and they're for Elizabeth.
Well, of course they're for Elizabeth. He doesn't have anyone else he wants to gift.
He steps into the apartment a few minutes after the video is done with. Which doesn't matter, because he sees the look on her face and that's enough go get him to stop in his tracks. Worry grips his chest and he slowly steps forward.
"... Elizabeth?" he asks quietly. His first thought it the worst conclusion. It often is. He thinks of Nikolas, thinks of what he might have meant by Christmas presents, wonders if she's like that because she received hers, and he feels sick to the stomach at the thought.
Once he reaches her he sits down next to her, taking her hand in his. "What's wrong?"
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He takes her hand, and she squeezes his back at first, and then wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
"Santa... came. I know you saw your coal, and I was like ugh that could fuel a boat, but... but he gave me..." She pulls back from the hug, smiles at him tearily so he knows that it's good, presses rewind on the tape, and tries to find the words still but can't. It finishes rewinding, and she pushes play. "He gave me this. Look. It's... it's my mom, Josef. She made this for me, and my dad told me about it before but he said it got destroyed. It's impossible that it's even here but it's... it's really it. I don't know how he did it, but I'm-- I'm so happy."
Elizabeth shakes her head, wrapping her hands around his arm and leaning against him.
"Isn't she beautiful?"
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The concern and the confusion soon give way to surprise.
Look, she says, and Josef does. He shifts in place, keeping his arms around her still, and he is taken aback by what he sees. It's Elizabeth's mother. Speaking to her about how much she already loved her. He can't think of anything more perfect. If he could have given this to her himself, he would have. "Elizabeth, this is..." he shakes his head.
He doesn't need to say how amazing it is. He can hear it in her voice, and he is so happy for her.
"She's very beautiful." Josef presses a kiss to the top of her head and pulls her in much closer. He looks back at the screen, slightly dazed. "You look so much like her, Elizabeth."
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She smiles up at him from her position against him, turning her head to see his reaction and looking back at the screen again and again. It's her mother, and even the way she moves, it's similar to the way she moves. "I know," she says, and there are tears in her eyes again.
It's amazing.
She remains leaning against him as the video plays for the second time, and she's smiling brightly.
"Thank you," she says because it is a compliment. "I could tell from the pictures that we looked similar , but it's... it's way different like actually seeing her. I can't believe it. Can you believe she wanted to name me Sunshine? Goodness! That would have been weird, but it would have been kinda cool as a nickname... from her."
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Which isn't to discredit the childhood she did have and the grandmother that loved her, whom Josef met recently. Her father lover her too, even if he showed it in his own particular. But it's something that he wonders.
Would they be here now?
He smiles at her, surprisingly gentle, when she says she knows. His thumb wipes at the high of her cheekbones before he leans in to kiss her briefly. No passion, just comfort.
It is a compliment, yes. "Maybe it would have been a middle name. By the looks of her, she could have convinced anyone to cave or at the very least meet at the middle." Josef glances at the screen, and then back at Elizabeth. "Did the tape come with a note?"
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It doesn't really matter to her how her life would have been different if her mother had been there. Not anymore.
She is happy with her life as it is. She can't imagine wanting to change any of it, because she loves being here with him.
Elizabeth closes her eyes at the kiss, resting her hand against his face and pulling back a bit.
"Elizabeth Sunshine Jules. It's not a bad middle name," she agrees with a tiny smile. "I don't think she was the type to cave, and I don't think my dad was the type to be like... unyielding with her so yeah. You're probably right."
She pulls the note out from under the package that carried the tape. "It just says To Elizabeth, From Santa. I'd think it's like impossible if it didn't happen two years ago too. I didn't get this but my dad and grandma both got... crazy, impossible stuff that should have been lost or destroyed for good."
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It's good for him too, to see the woman that gave her life.
Without her, Elizabeth wouldn't be here.
"It's got a certain ring to it," Josef says with a laugh, squeezing her hand in reassurance. He doesn't mention he knows someone that is actually named Sunshine, because this moment is about Elizabeth and her alone. He honestly can't think of anything more perfect for her. The few times they've discussed her mother, he could hear the longing in her voice. Now she'll always have a part of her mother with her.
"Yeah, I got something impossible myself." He peers over her shoulder to read the note, and sure enough, it's Santa. God, of all the things that are hard to believe, that there's a Santa somewhere probably takes the cake. "It wasn't coal, I'll give you that."
Josef sounds mostly amused about his own gift. Squeezing her shoulder with his hand, the amusement gives way to a little more concern. "You okay?"
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She would have been content and happy with thirty seconds of video of her mother. This is more than she could ever have hoped for, more than she even knew to imagine as a possible gift to receive. It's beyond what is possible.
"Yes, that's what I was thinking," Elizabeth says with a tiny smile, squeezing his hand back and sitting on the edge of her seat as the movie comes to an end, despite the fact that she's already watched it once and knows how it ends. She is going to have to watch it again and again. She'll never tire of watching it.
She wrinkles her nose at mention of the coal again. "It just seems like a waste! Coal is like a fossil fuel, right?" She waves a hand, shaking her head in a disgruntled fashion (but not too disgruntled as she's too happy for that). "Bah."
Elizabeth smiles when he squeezes her shoulder, and she takes in a deep breath that's so easy to do. The emotion that remains in her heart is light and freeing.
"I'm okay. I'm really, really good, Josef, and I'm so happy that I got to... share that with you... that's like a gift in itself for me," she says, and she's looking at him with that deep love as she has for such a long time and happiness too. "Despite everything trying to make it otherwise, I think I can totally chalk this up as another amazing Christmas. We're alive. We're together still and both of those things are big miracles, and I got to see my mom when I never should have been able to."
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Ten minutes can be a lifetime if given to the right person.
Josef opens his mouth to reply and proceeds to close it when she waves a hand, biting back a smile. Bah, indeed.
Then again, coal isn't so bad in the scheme of things, considering everything else he could've gotten.
It isn't that he thinks she'd lie. Elizabeth sees things differently. She reacts to things a certain way that most people wouldn't. She understands and accepts death. It only makes sense this would make her happier more than anything, but he had to check.
It's easy to believe when she looks the way she does, light and free and happy. It's as beautiful as he remembers, and he can't remember the last time she looked like this. Maybe she never has. How could she, when she'd never seen or known what her mother looked like? Sounded like?
"Okay. As long as you are, that's all that matters. For all those reasons and more, I... think it's fair to say it's been two really good Christmases in a row. Just goes to show anything is possible in Chicago," he says, smiling back at her. It's also easy to do. It always has been, from day one.
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She pulls back but keeps close. Her arms are wrapped around his neck still as her hands slide down the front of his chest and rest there for a moment, feeling his heart beat beneath her palm. She knows every part of him so well. Her eyes could be closed, and she'd know where his chest starts and where it ends, she'd be able to lean in and kiss him without missing.
"And more," she agrees with a smile, and she nods at that last sentence of his, still trying to wrap her head around how amazing this day has been already. "Anything is possible, and that anything can be something really amazing despite what other people would tell you. A year ago, is there any way you'd think that we'd be here today?"
Elizabeth didn't. She believed that they could reach some place great and wonderful, but she didn't believe that it could last a whole year or get this strong. Death became so common to her, the grinches were out to get them, and her father seemed hellbent on destroying it all. It was only the start of all the things that were potentially stacked against them, but they are here together, feeling the way that they do about each other.
"I love you," she says, and she's still smiling, tears in her eyes for a different reason this time, but it's from happiness still, just a different kind.
Elizabeth leans in and kisses him again, lingering, remembering back to the first time she kissed him and how little thought had gone into it. It just was, and a year later, that hasn't changed.
"Merry Christmas, Josef."
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Well, he would, since exactly a year ago they already were here, in a similar fashion, not surrounded by coal. But he's honestly not trying to be a hobag and he knows what she means. Before they met, was there any way he thought it could be like this? That his life could be anything other than revenge and anger and blood?
That he could have a home instead of a house, and a relationship instead of nothing but bones in a grave?
"No," he whispers, and there's a hoarseness in his voice there, cause by the truth that that word alone brings. His hands cradle either side of her face gently, thumb brushing against the corner of her lips. He lingers on the way she holds him, the way she kisses him, the way she always has, like he's the most precious thing in the world to her. Knowing that to be true, and it's that knowing that's brought him here. That's brought them both here.
"No, I didn't, but I've never been more glad to be wrong. I wouldn't change this, Elizabeth. You know? I wouldn't change it for anything," he says, and he takes the hand that's flattened over his chest, brushing light kisses on each of the tips of her fingers. Remembering how and when she came to him with bandages over those hands of hers.
"I love you, too," he says, and he's smiling back at her, smiling back at her for all the reasons she's thinking of, and because he's finally at the place where he can say it back. It's effortless. It doesn't take him anything at all. It only gives and he gives it to her.
"It's not a Merry Christmas until gifts have been exchanged," he reminds her, pulling back from the kiss only to kiss her again, longer this time. "There is no way I can outdo Santa this year, but it's tradition now."
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He holds her face in that same way like she is the most important thing to him, and she knows that to be true as much as it's true that he is the most precious thing in the world to her. He is the only thing that she could never bear to lose.
Tears spring to her eyes again, and she can't really help it. It's burning bright, and she remembers only a few months ago feeling like she was on the edge of the end. She remembers finding him on the church steps, seeing him have his own brush with insanity. Elizabeth smiles more brightly in earnest when he kisses her fingertips. "I know you wouldn't," she says, and the smile is still wobbly but she knows. "I wouldn't change it for anything either. Not for anything."
Not for the chance to have her mother back. Not for any of it.
This is how her life is meant to be, and she's happy for it, for everything that's lead her here.
I love you too. It never gets old, hearing him say that, especially knowing what it took for him to be able to say it and how easily it comes out now.
That's a gift too.
Elizabeth laughs, and the laughter is lost in the longer kiss he places against her lips. "I think last year I was the one reminding you about gifts," she says with a tiny smile that widens into a grin. "But you're absolutely right, Man. It's not over until the last present's unwrapped! And you already outdo Santa, just by existing."
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And the fact that he'd take them on as projects makes him a little sick now.
It isn't that he's suddenly become a bleeding heart, but he loves her, and she's always opened up that part of him that he now believes could be redeemable. The side of him that thinks of what she has gone through and doesn't understand how he could have exploited it from others.
The thought of someone exploiting it from her--it's what keeps him from going back to his old tricks. Josef doesn't turn the Calling away when it comes a-calling, but he also doesn't do it more than he has to. "I know you wouldn't either," he whispers, brushing his lips against her again and again. "Why would we?"
What they've been through--it's a testament to how two different people can make it work. They've been through hell and back. They've grown stronger for it. Why would they ever give it back?
"Then this year it's my turn," he says with a grin of his own. "I don't know if Santa would be pleased to hear that, Sparky. But I'm thrilled with it myself."
Josef looks for the gift in question underneath the tree, and once he finds the small, elegantly-wrapped red box, he hands it back to her. He sits next to Elizabeth and waits for her to open it.
"Merry Christmas, Elizabeth. If you don't like it, that's okay. I just... saw it in a jewelry store the other day, and something about the figures at the center...reminded me of us, so I bought it."
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Elizabeth takes in a breath. She is much more stable than she was that night though it took her some time to get to that more stable place, and she never really was the same. In the end, it's that insanity that awaits them.
It's what she felt that night. It's what he looked like on the church steps. It's a terrible thought that she no longer lets herself linger on. It wastes precious time with him to be so worried about the inevitable.
She smiles at his whisper, closing her eyes, focusing on how it feels for his lips to brush against hers. When she opens them again, she's looking at him seriously "I've no idea."
There are hundreds of potential reasons that others may give to answer that question, but Elizabeth knows what they have, how difficult it is to come by, and how blessed they are to have been through all that they have and end up as they are now.
"Hey, Santa already left me the perfect, impossible present of his so what's he gonna do if he's not pleased? He can't like take it back or anything." Elizabeth grins when he says he's thrilled himself. "You should be. It is... totally thrilling, very thrilling."
Elizabeth takes the box gently in both hands, opening it slowly so as not to mess up any of the elegant wrapping. It's all fancy, and he gives her such nice, fancy items that she is extra careful with.
She stares at it once it's opened. She has never seen a necklace like this before, but it's beautiful and she can see how the figures in the center remind him of them. "It looks like a day... in winter when we're walking through the park," she says fondly, pulling the pendant closer to have a closer look at it, and she smiles brightly. The hair even looks similar in the shadow. "I love it, Josef. It's fancy, and I wouldn't even know what to wear it with so you'll have to help me with that, but it reminds me of us too and it's fancy and beautiful, and thank you."
Elizabeth wraps her arms around him, hugging him tight. It always makes her feel special when he gets her items that are so fancy. Because she thinks most people would never think to get her a fancy thing. She just doesn't come off as being fancy, but he sees her as being special, sees the potential for her to pull off something fancy like this necklace and other jewelry that he's bought her. She thinks that's why she most likes receiving the jewelry.
"I have to get your stocking before I get your present. Also tradition," she says with a smile, dashing off to pick up his stocking and hand it to him. Inside the stocking, there are many of her baked goods like muffins and cookies since they seem to be his favorite, a pack of gum, The Godfather 1 & 2 on DVD, a Dr. Pepper (his favorite drink), aviator sunglasses, and... handcuffs. The last two have become her traditional gifts for him for Christmas! ...apparently, the narration doesn't even know.
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It didn't have to be a shiny, expensive thing. It could be as simple as a heart-shaped necklace made of murano glass, but the tradition was there. It's not so much what it costs but why he chose it that makes the gift, and he knows that Elizabeth knows it, too.
Years before this one he wouldn't have understood the point. He would have thought it was wasting time, idiotic sentimentality placed on trivial things, foolish sentiments spurned by the holidays. He's never had this. Sitting next to someone in the couch and giving them something, genuinely hoping that they'll like it.
It's actually not as fancy or as expensive as the many other things he's given her. It's vintage more than anything else, but understated and that's surprisingly what he liked about it.
And the most gratifying part of this whole gift-giving process is the expression on her face when she opens the box. Elizabeth is artless in every one of her reactions. They're genuine and unpracticed, and it's something he can always depend on no matter what. Whether she likes something or doesn't, he'll know because she can't hide it. It's always written all over her face.
Another one of the many ways they differ, but it's something he's always appreciated.
The smile turns into something of a wide grin. "I thought it did," he says with just as much fondness. "There were a lot of pendants with different figures in the background but that's the one I liked the most. I'm pretty sure you can wear it with anything you like. The pendant can be worn on any chain, something else I liked about it. You can dress it up or down. But it was mostly because of the two figures."
Josef laughs quietly when she wraps her arms around him. He reciprocates in kind, arms wrapping around her waist and his face burying itself in her neck. He breathes her in and places a kiss there. "You're very, very welcome."
The stocking! Right.
Josef remains where he is seated, taking the stocking once it's handed to him. He smiles a little at all the items found inside. Each of them are so like her to give to him, and it makes him smile. "Much better than coal," he says with a straight face, before he gives her a kiss. "Thank you. I'll put them all to good use."
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