this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

[quiettotheend]

She feels so small. Tabitha makes her way up to Elashte's office. She's covered in a cold sweat and her eyes are red from crying. She really doesn't know how to handle this. Luke's death hurt her. Tay's death scares her

Comments

[hey_capn_jack]

It's not long after their conversation that Jack - and he won't get used to that for a while, to the name fitting like a garment he hasn't worn in too, too long, to the entire role and posture feeling more like playacting than being - wanders in, taking in the woman with the pixellated name. He knocks on the doorframe with one knuckle, clearing his throat.

"So, should I introduce myself?" he asks. "Or does my reputation precede me?"

[playingtetris]

"We've actually met," Sailor Mercury says, putting her mini computer down and standing. "As odd as that may seem. I did a reboot of your system when a Maldros superbug managed to make its home in your hub. Alex, I believe was running Torchwood Three at that point?"

Pressing her skirt down, she gives him a smile and holds out a hand -- western customs of course today -- to shake. "Sailor Mercury," she says. "It's certainly a pleasure to remeet you, Captain Harkness."

[hey_capn_jack]

Jack shrugs with one hand before accepting hers. "Different universes," he says. "Apparently I come from the odd one out. It's a pleasure to meet you. Should I call you Mercury?"

...there's something a bit... perfectly Chicagoan about the fact that he doesn't have to bat an eyelid at that.

He worked with a Jedi. He turns into a dog. One functions best in Chicago when one abandons one's notions of the absurd.

[playingtetris]

"I would appreciate that," Mercury says, turning to look at the monitor again, as something flashes up. "And don't be too hard on yourself."

She pauses, picking up her mini computer and rapidly enters some data, obviously assuming he'll wait for her to finish while she's working. It's not like she's going to be able to hear him if he says anything; the data feed is taking up all of her attention and her earpiece is going haywire.

"According to the information I've accessed from Ms. Sato's records, she wasn't even aware of a Rift in Japan, which leads me to believe that you are not the one out at all. It's actually quite more probable, when you look at the mathematics that none of us share universes; instead, they're just so similar we can't tell the difference." She pauses again, putting down her computer on the desk again. "I should have finished cracking the security system in the next couple of hours, and I'll be able to reprogram it."

[hey_capn_jack]

And don't be too hard on yourself catches him offguard, and for a second he can only blink at her, wondering what she means. It's probably that unbalance that lets something in her next words broadside him - for a moment he's keenly aware that he's here, in the Kashtta (far from the Hub, far from that life), with a bunch of strangers and Owen, who's almost a stranger these days, anyway. Taking apart whatever his team, his team, the people who should have been his team, left behind.

So that they can start over.

It's like staring at a blank page, raised to the nth power and delivered via wrecking ball to his solar plexus.

So it's after a moment's pause, and somewhat subdued, that he finally answers "...that's good."

[playingtetris]

"If you would like, I could leave you a journal entry when I've finished, so you can decide what to do with the computer system."

Mercury is not a leader, and she's never claimed to be. She can only assume that he's taking some sense of responsibility for Torchwood, considering his actions so far, and as so, she'll defer to his judgment as to how the information they currently possess should be used. And how it shouldn't be. And how it should be locked.

"I do have to say that Earth technology certainly changed quite a bit in the last 15 years. It's positively amazing what you can do with just minor bits of alien technology."

[hey_capn_jack]

"That would be good," Jack says, trying to shake the impact out of his voice. "Very. Actually, once I work out who's left here, we'll probably need to have a meeting - I'm assuming you're staying on."

And now he's just throwing words at each other in the hopes that they'll make him sound in control. Very nice, Instagur, taunts a familiar tug of thought at the corner of his mind.

He ignores it.

"We've got plenty more Rift tech where that came from," he says. "I should know; I was bringing it in."

[playingtetris]

"I'm afraid I lost my only companion," she says in a soft tone, looking away from the man. Losing Minako hasn't entirely hit her yet; she's still sure that any moment now she'll be walking up, complaining... Reality still needs to be checked, though. "So I can't honestly see any other option for myself."

Not after they both lost everything. She can't.

"And I would love to look at any Rift tech you've found," she adds, a bit too fast, as if she's trying to get off the other subject as quick as possible.

[hey_capn_jack]

Jack recognizes that fast topic-switch. Back in the old Torchwood, he'd have aided and abetted that subject switch however possible.

Now, though, after seeing Torchwood fight not to crumble, inside and out...

He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, though he knows he should do something.

"Torchwood survives," he says. "Torchwood always survives. And most of the time, we manage to pull something out of the wreckage, too." It's as close as he can come to saying We'll be all right; we'll survive, and we'll get stronger again, and we'll be okay again. That's a gamble at the best of times, that hope. "And you just tell me when you need a break on Tosh's system - I'll show you where the goods are kept."

Hollow. How long is it going to be before he can say the name Tosh without it feeling hollow? The diminuitive, the nickname for someone he tried to save, and hurt, and lost...

It's hard for him to believe his own reassurance, much as he knows it's as true as anything.

[playingtetris]

"Understood, sir," she says, sitting back down in front of the computer. At least if she buries herself in this, she won't be able to handle thinking about anything else.

Really, this is the best project she could have right now. And Captain Harkness is right -- Torchwood survives. It survives no matter the agenda of its members or the trauma they've been subjected to.

Torchwood survives because if they don't, well, no one does. It's a necessity.

[hey_capn_jack]

And there's another shock, bordering on a thrill, bordering on terrifying - it's been a while since someone's called him Sir.

He's not sure it's been quite long enough.

"Ianto called me 'sir'," he mentions. "Never could get him to stop. Honestly, unless you have a deep-seated need for hierarchical salutations, 'Jack' is perfectly fine."

Jack.

[playingtetris]

"I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with sir or Captain Harkness," Mercury says, smiling to herself. It really would feel wrong, not calling him sir. For starters, she's only 16. Not that he knows that. Not that she'd like him to know that.

She's not entirely sure who Ianto is, but she's seen mentions of him in the files. Later, after she's gotten through the system, she'll have to read up on the members of present-day Torchwood Three.

[hey_capn_jack]

"'Captain'?" Jack says, like maybe he'll be able to bargain her down. "Just so long as you know that under no circumstances will the words Mr. Harkness cross your lips."

He has no idea who this woman is, but at least they can banter. It's almost the quintessential requirement for the job - if you can crack jokes while the world is ending, right in the middle of all you have to do, odds are you'll be all right there. It presents the illusion of competence and hope, at least.

[playingtetris]

"I made that mistake only once, Captain," she says. She was trying to create some sort of illusion of seriousness about the whole name situation, but she can't help but let out a soft giggle.

Jack Harkness is indeed a character that stuck with her; it's almost impossible for the man not to make an impression on someone.

She does slightly worry about long-term work with a different Torchwood. It's important, necessary even, for her to keep Sailor Mercury separate from her personal life. She's not sure that's possible with a different Torchwood. She'll at least try to do it as long as possible.

There's no need for Torchwood to find out her real identity.

[hey_capn_jack]

A giggle is good. For a while, now, Jack is going to be tallying up those small signs, good or bad. Reconstructing his sense of the people around him. Trying to be someone he's forgotten how to be, or never really knew but presented an illusion of being.

Trying harder.

Had she said anything about identity, maybe there, he could have offered some insight. At least he could have shared his own experience. As it is, he's not unfamiliar with the Sailor Senshi archetype, but the thought of asking out of the blue wouldn't occur to him. He can understand needing to keep identities partitioned.

And besides, if he needed to know anything about his employees, asking was not usually the first method which came to mind.

"All right," he says. He's got an inventory to complete on Torchwood employees. "Check in with me tonight, alright? I'm hoping that by then we'll have some idea of what position we're in."

[playingtetris]

"Understood, Captain," she says, stressing the word carefully as she turns back to look at Tosh's monitor.

«Oh no you don't,» she mumbles at the machine in Japanese. Sorry Jack, as interesting as you are, you're just not quite as interesting as Tosh's security system.