Des may have heard something about the Doctor being a ferret, but, really, whether he was paying attention or not has a lot to do with how much Fred the Poltergeist was bitching from the closet and how many drinks he had at the bar after work.
And, also, hearing that the Doctor is a ferret and seeing the Doctor as a ferret are two completely different things.
So it's with a look a surprise that Des enters the living room and sees Melissa throwing a ball for a ferret. "Did we... Get a tube-rat while I wasn't looking?"
He'll get it in a second. Those deductive reasoning skills aren't so... Skillful this early in the morning.
The sound of Des' voice jolts the Doctor's brain temporarily into actually being able to think like... well, the Doctor, instead of an overexcited ferret who has a BALLZOMG. He leaves off chasing the ball almost immediately, turns to face Des, and levels a you really are stupid, aren't you? look at him.
"It's not a tube-rat," Melissa says, trying not to smile. "It's the Doctor. ...I don't know why he's a tube-rat."
"That would have been my second guess," he deadpans, crouching down on the floor, so he can actually stare at the ferret from something vaguely resembling eye-level. "Yep. That's definitely a Doctor look. Did you poke the Rift again?"
Not that the Doctor can answer him. It's totally a rhetorical question.
The Doctor managed to hang onto people-thinking for a while. But it's especially hard when he can't actually answer any questions people ask him, not in words. No, he did not poke the Rift. Honestly, Des, can't you give him any credit?
...actually, the process of the Doctor being turned into a ferret required far more stupidity on his part, but that's entirely beside the point.
The point is that Des is now where the Doctor can reach him. The ferret thinks he needs to be attacked. From love, of course. Congratulations, Des, you now have a playful ferret launching himself at your face.
Des makes a sound that can properly be defines as GWARGH and loses his balance so thoroughly that he falls backwards, so now there is a Des on his back in the living room, helpless and at Doctorferret's lovenomming mercy.
"I take it back! I take it back!" He yelps, more in surprise than anything. No expects the Ferret Inquisition, after all.
The Doctor is triumphant! He lands on Des' chest, latches onto the collar of Des' shirt and twists around in an alligator roll. He releases it when the rolling leads to falling off of Des' shoulder, though he does jump back on top of Des and stare down at him with. What's he doing just lying there? There should be more playing. ...oh, also, he is victorious. That too.
At least the helplessly giggling nephilim is definitely entertained.
It is about this time that Des realizes that ferrets are tiny and he is not. Possibly it's the staring, which he is going to interpret as a smug look of unfair ferrety dominance.
And, also, it would just be a shame to not take advantage of the Doctor's predicament. After all, he did mock the doors. Vengeance shall be his.
"C'mere, you." He plucks the Doctor off his chest one-handed and lets him dangle for a second while he sits up before plonking him down in front of him. And then the scritching commences. HAVE ALL THE SCRITCHES, DOCTOR. They are good scritches, as they come from Des.
Des will most likely humiliate you in the morning in the next few minutes, so enjoy them.
The Doctor squeaks a little when he gets lifted into the air, glaring indignantly... and then there is scritching. Oh, the scritching. He rolls happily onto his back so there can be stomach scritches, tail twitching happily, the very picture of blissed-out ferret. He loves Des. Des' are good to have. They give good scritches.
Des obliges the stomch scritches with one hand and then feels around in his pockets for his keys with the other, bringing them out with a flourish and a victorious grin.
"Dooooctor," He sing-songs. He jangles them a bit over the Doctor's ferrety head, making sure that they catch the light.
LOOK, DOCTOR. SHINY, JANGLY THINGS.
Des is in ur houses, insultin' your Time Lord intelligence.
Des sticks his tongue out and holds the keys up a bit farther than a little ferret body is capable of jumping and jangles them again tauntingly. "C'mon on, Doctor. You can do better than. You gotta work for it."
If the Doctor thinks this is cruel and unusual punishment, wait until Des finds out what Cy did with that laser pointer.
Oh, the Doctorferret is having none of this nonsense. He eyes the keys for a second. Looks over at Des. And with that, he jumps at Des, uses him as a springboard, and lunges for the keys again. Oh, the Doctor is going to be so annoyed by all of this when he can think like himself again.
And superior Time Lord improvisation wins over slightly dim-witted paranormal investigator taunting, even when working on ferret brain, because Des yelps again in surprise and drops the keys.
...Now excuse him while he mutters a hastily covered up swear word (there is a child present) and tries to make a dive for them before the Doctor can get them, because yeah, that's gonna work.
HAHA! Victory again. Des' dive is just a bit too slow, and the Doctor snatches up Des' keys and bounds off with them jangling in his mouth. They are his now.
Des, this is what you get for taunting the ferret with something important to you.
And, also, hearing that the Doctor is a ferret and seeing the Doctor as a ferret are two completely different things.
So it's with a look a surprise that Des enters the living room and sees Melissa throwing a ball for a ferret. "Did we... Get a tube-rat while I wasn't looking?"
He'll get it in a second. Those deductive reasoning skills aren't so... Skillful this early in the morning.
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"It's not a tube-rat," Melissa says, trying not to smile. "It's the Doctor. ...I don't know why he's a tube-rat."
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"That would have been my second guess," he deadpans, crouching down on the floor, so he can actually stare at the ferret from something vaguely resembling eye-level. "Yep. That's definitely a Doctor look. Did you poke the Rift again?"
Not that the Doctor can answer him. It's totally a rhetorical question.
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...actually, the process of the Doctor being turned into a ferret required far more stupidity on his part, but that's entirely beside the point.
The point is that Des is now where the Doctor can reach him. The ferret thinks he needs to be attacked. From love, of course. Congratulations, Des, you now have a playful ferret launching himself at your face.
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Des makes a sound that can properly be defines as GWARGH and loses his balance so thoroughly that he falls backwards, so now there is a Des on his back in the living room, helpless and at Doctorferret's lovenomming mercy.
"I take it back! I take it back!" He yelps, more in surprise than anything. No expects the Ferret Inquisition, after all.
Hope you're enjoying the show, Melissa.
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At least the helplessly giggling nephilim is definitely entertained.
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And, also, it would just be a shame to not take advantage of the Doctor's predicament. After all, he did mock the doors. Vengeance shall be his.
"C'mere, you." He plucks the Doctor off his chest one-handed and lets him dangle for a second while he sits up before plonking him down in front of him. And then the scritching commences. HAVE ALL THE SCRITCHES, DOCTOR. They are good scritches, as they come from Des.
Des will most likely humiliate you in the morning in the next few minutes, so enjoy them.
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"Dooooctor," He sing-songs. He jangles them a bit over the Doctor's ferrety head, making sure that they catch the light.
LOOK, DOCTOR. SHINY, JANGLY THINGS.
Des is in ur houses, insultin' your Time Lord intelligence.
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The Time Lord brain hangs on long enough that he stares at Des with a vaguely disgusted look - and then he is overcome by OH MY GOD SHINY.
The Doctor pounces. There are shiny, noisy things and HE WILL HAVE THEM.
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Des sticks his tongue out and holds the keys up a bit farther than a little ferret body is capable of jumping and jangles them again tauntingly. "C'mon on, Doctor. You can do better than. You gotta work for it."
If the Doctor thinks this is cruel and unusual punishment, wait until Des finds out what Cy did with that laser pointer.
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...Now excuse him while he mutters a hastily covered up swear word (there is a child present) and tries to make a dive for them before the Doctor can get them, because yeah, that's gonna work.
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Des, this is what you get for taunting the ferret with something important to you.
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