Let me see your face. I'm in such a desperate place.
[OOC: This is open, but I'm cool if it never gets any tags at all. He's in a weird emotional state so I can't even know how he'll react to most people. I needed to write this, because he's being so loudly suicidal that I can't ignore it and assume he just never dealt with those feelings]
Robin sits on the railing at the pier (the part that doesn't have to be rebuilt). His suit is dirty and his hands are gripping the rail so hard that his knuckles are white and his arms are trembling. It's not a dignified position for a man in a suit to occupy, but he had been halfway to jumping when a thought stopped him. Knowing his luck, his body would probably wash up where someone can see it and drag it back out. He's too close in. How long can dead bodies stay down in the water? Maybe he should weigh himself with something, but- God, what does it even matter? He'll be dead. He won't care that's the beauty of dying. And then he becomes keenly aware of the oathmark from Ruvin in his pocket. He promised he'd keep an eye on the bloody thing for her. Right. He's not going to jump, because he feels some ridiculous sense of duty to protecting a young girl's... whatever it's called. Wonderful. It would have been perfectly safe if he had left it in his room.
So he sits on the rail staring into the dark water instead of going over into it. It's very late or very early. It doesn't matter which. The point is that not many people are around. Jumping seems like a silly idea now unless there is an available cavern around, and even then. It's too messy. He would much rather cease to exist entirely in life or corpse. No notes or anything stupid like that.
Fire, animal, or acid might be the only way to go, but even that can leave traces when no one's around to make sure it's all taken care of. None of the options seem as appealing as jumping or shooting himself in the head, which seem much more immediate. Maybe if he could get his hands on something to knock him out before he was eaten or burned away. Asking over the journals how to kill someone in a way that destroys their corpse doesn't seem like a smart idea either.
Focusing on the details of his apparently inevitable suicide appears to have, at least, relatively, temporarily calmed the rage that had consumed him and driven his legs to walk without direction. If he had a weapon, he might have stopped into a bar and started shooting without stopping, but he has no weapon. He wouldn't know how to wield one if he did either. He's glad he never let himself learn considering how close he was to killing tonight. He needs out of Chicago, because if he kills or dies he doesn't want it to happen here.
Robin sits on the railing at the pier (the part that doesn't have to be rebuilt). His suit is dirty and his hands are gripping the rail so hard that his knuckles are white and his arms are trembling. It's not a dignified position for a man in a suit to occupy, but he had been halfway to jumping when a thought stopped him. Knowing his luck, his body would probably wash up where someone can see it and drag it back out. He's too close in. How long can dead bodies stay down in the water? Maybe he should weigh himself with something, but- God, what does it even matter? He'll be dead. He won't care that's the beauty of dying. And then he becomes keenly aware of the oathmark from Ruvin in his pocket. He promised he'd keep an eye on the bloody thing for her. Right. He's not going to jump, because he feels some ridiculous sense of duty to protecting a young girl's... whatever it's called. Wonderful. It would have been perfectly safe if he had left it in his room.
So he sits on the rail staring into the dark water instead of going over into it. It's very late or very early. It doesn't matter which. The point is that not many people are around. Jumping seems like a silly idea now unless there is an available cavern around, and even then. It's too messy. He would much rather cease to exist entirely in life or corpse. No notes or anything stupid like that.
Fire, animal, or acid might be the only way to go, but even that can leave traces when no one's around to make sure it's all taken care of. None of the options seem as appealing as jumping or shooting himself in the head, which seem much more immediate. Maybe if he could get his hands on something to knock him out before he was eaten or burned away. Asking over the journals how to kill someone in a way that destroys their corpse doesn't seem like a smart idea either.
Focusing on the details of his apparently inevitable suicide appears to have, at least, relatively, temporarily calmed the rage that had consumed him and driven his legs to walk without direction. If he had a weapon, he might have stopped into a bar and started shooting without stopping, but he has no weapon. He wouldn't know how to wield one if he did either. He's glad he never let himself learn considering how close he was to killing tonight. He needs out of Chicago, because if he kills or dies he doesn't want it to happen here.