Santa Claus is coming to town! (tl;dr)
Somewhere in Grant Park, just after midnight, the Rift spits out a magical sleigh, pulled by eight reindeer. Driving that sleigh is an old man wearing red and white, with twinkling blue eyes and a full white beard.
The man blinks and looks around, and then peers at the list in his hand... A list that's distinctly different than it was a moment ago. Longer, as well.
He blinks. Something's distinctly off here, and when he looks into his bag, he finds that the gifts painstakingly assembled by elves are gone, and there are a seemingly infinite number of new packages just waiting to be delivered.
But really, it doesn't matter where he is, or how he came to be here: he's had many names over the centuries, been worshiped as a god a few times, revered as a servant of another god, but what he is now is no more and no less than the sum total of his myth.
Santa laughs, a deep belly laugh, and calls each of the reindeer by name as he takes the reins and lets them fly into the night.
He's got a job to do.
In the common room of the Conrad Hotel basement, there is a Christmas tree that some enterprising soul put up. Underneath it, Santa leaves a shiny stack of presents.
The tag on one says, "For Nero". Inside is a fine selection of gun parts. Some seem salvaged from the junk heap, some seem to be verifiable antiques, and some are shiny and new, but all of them are perfectly serviceable, and can be combined in various ways to make an incredible gun with several parts to spare.
There's also a cello case underneath the tree, with Dusty's name on it. It's nothing particularly fancy, but it should be quite familiar. There's quite a lot of sheet music inside, as well.
There's a cloth-wrapped bundle with a tag on it addressed to Devin and Ace Caulfield. Said bundle contains a loaf of bread -- soft, delicious, fresh-baked bread which, strangely enough, seems to regenerate. They shall have toast forever. There's also an envelope tucked in there with $5000 inside it.
Ruvin gets a large stack of books -- not wrapped, just stacked and bundled together with red and green ribbons, because that much wrapping paper might drown the whole room. The books are a comprehensive history of... pretty much the entire planet.
For Egon, there are two cases of fine German beer.
There's a white and silver package with the Vesmier's name written in flawless Gallifreyan script. Inside, there's a 120 GB iPod, and a $200 iTunes gift card. An enclosed note reads, "In the hopes of encouraging a greater understanding of human culture." The complete works of Mozart are already loaded on.
A tag that says "Onyekachi" is affixed to an elegant and sturdy parasol heavy enough to provide real shade, with the minimum possible light getting through.
A box covered in dancing gingerbread men contains cookie cutters in every conceivable shape for every possible occasion. Not surprisingly, it's for Gladys.
An envelope with Robin's name on it contains only a photo of Robin's family, years and years ago. They all look happy, and there's a date on the back. The photo also happens to be indestructible.
A small, gold-wrapped box contains a nice Blackberry (the phone, not the fruit), getting unlimited service on a provider called MiracleNet. It's programmed with the numbers of several of the local archangels, and the tag reads "Ariel", in elegant, flowing script.
There's another package marked "Wolverine". It's a smallish box, and inside are a pair of very comfortable gloves with holes to allow his claws through.
There's a box for Grace, wrapped in silver-and-gold patterned paper, which contains all of Orson Scott Card's Ender series.
For Martin, there's a set of supernatural military histories, written by one of the oldest living Angels of Knowledge. They're stored in a small trunk which looks easy to cart around, given angelic strength.
Molly gets a strange device with green lights going up one side. It emits a soft humming noise, but otherwise seems harmless. No one knows what it is. The note affixed to it reads, "Learning the answers is half the fun."
And there's also a little box marked "Elena". It contains pictures of her and her adoptive parents, her friends before they died, and, near the end, a picture of her with Romana, the two of them just sitting and talking.
There's also a box marked "Schrödinger", which contains a very nice leather corset, made to fit a male figure.
For those Conrad residents who are no longer in the basement, Santa leaves presents in individual rooms:
For Aiden, there's a sturdy sketchbook with heavy, high-quality paper, a set of woodless graphite pencils, an elaborately engraved fountain pen, and plenty of ink to refill it with.
In Methos' room, there's a perfectly-balanced katana, scalpel-sharp, with oil, a small mallet, rice paper, and a sharpening stone to properly maintain it. The tag has his real name on it, not his current alias.
Zuko will find a tea set, made of the finest porcelain, with red and gold dragons on it which seem to be dancing, as well as a packet of jasmine tea.
For Farley Claymore, Santa digs an absurdly large toolkit from his bag, suitable for anything from large-scale cutting to the most delicate of adjustments.
In Doc Brown's room, a scrapbook appears by the bed. It appears homemade, and has pictures and assorted mementos of him and Marty between its pages.
Demons being... well, demons... means that the Gauche doesn't get a great big pile of gifts... Instead, Santa leaves presents in individual apartments.
In Tay's room, he places an envelope on the table. Inside, there's a picture of a woman with a name and a date on the back. The woman in question bears a marked resemblance to Tay herself.
For Becky and Annie, there are a pair of gifts. Becky has a guitar case with a big red bow on it. Inside, there's a gorgeous, handmade acoustic guitar with nylon strings. For Annie, he leaves an envelope containing two plane tickets to Cabo, and a printed confirmation for a hotel reservation, already paid for.
In Ani and Ashley's room, Santa leaves two boxes: the one for Ani contains a set of gunsmith's tools and assorted parts, while Ashley's contains a very nice black silk robe.
In Billy's room, Santa leaves a huge, fuzzy pillow, the kind that would make a very good pet bed.
Piper's room takes a bit longer than most -- there's a bookshelf to assemble, and books to fill it with. All classics: Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters, Dickens, and a few more recent classics like Watership Down. He finishes by placing a bow on top, and a little card that reads, simply, "Merry Christmas".
Andrew is also getting books -- in this case, the complete collection of D&D manuals, with enough Player's Handbooks for a good-sized group, as well as a Dungeon Master's Screen and a stack of character sheets. Also, dice. So many dice, in every possible color. Some have glitter in. Some have swirls of iridescent color. Some are just plain ol' dice.
The present Santa leaves for Harry Dresden, on the other hand, goes for an entirely different take on 'sword & sorcery' -- a sword made specifically for a Warden, with all the powers thereof.
In Elashte's room, Santa carefully leaves a huge collection of film noir tapes. Huge. Including some movies that don't actually exist in this universe.
The Rani, the next time she goes into her lab, will find a set of perfectly preserved tissue samples from many, many species. Dalek, Macra, Chula, Krillitane, Sontaran, pre-Loom Gallifreyan, Carrionite, and Sycorax, just to name a few.
For Malek, Santa has left a very sturdy, very WARM trenchcoat. If there's a coat that will survive him raptoring out, it'll be this one.
Shepard has a crimson-wrapped box which contains all the DVDs for Stargate SG-1.
In Aubrey's room, there will be a small box, wrapped in shimmering green paper. Inside the box, there's a wireless card. It's a very special wireless card, in that once it's plugged into a laptop, said laptop will always be in range of a wireless network labeled MiracleNet. Other networks are, of course, still available, depending on location.
In Babel's room, Santa leaves a rather whimsical-looking blown glass vase filled with giant Pixy Stix and lollipops -- the swirly, multicolored kind half the size of a person's head, and the huge spirally ones that look like unicorn horns. Tiny origami animals are dangling from the candy bouquet on brightly-colored ribbons. No explanation is given or particularly needed for the origami animals -- they're just there. Being cute.
In Lesya's room, there's a box wrapped in green and silver. Inside, there's a huge snowglobe, showing the Chicago skyline. There's also little switch on the bottom that causes the buildings to light up from the inside.
Santa leaves a cell phone -- a sleek, folding thing, in a deep metallic red, complete with camera and a full library of pointless cell phone games -- in Ray's room, with a tiny gold bow on. The phone also seems to use MiracleNet as a service provider, and is set for unlimited minutes and text messaging.
In Noah's room, there's a box wrapped in red and silver, with an effect eerily reminiscent of blood on steel, though not to a point where anyone could point out obvious morbid intent. It contains an impressive array of sharp objects ranging in size from tiny throwing knives to a machete, and a sharpening stone to go with them.
For Trinity, there's a fine selection of very potent alcohol, and Santa is not going to think about what she wants to use that for. He just isn't. This is why he doesn't usually get anything for the people on his "Naughty" list.
Judge Doom will find a kit for the care of his sword: oils for the blade, soft cloths, a sharpening stone, all the basics.
For Victor, there's a large hardbound book featuring both detailed illustrations and glossy color photos of the butterflies of North America. It's wrapped in butterfly-print wrapping paper, with a bow carefully shaped to resemble swallowtail wings.
Roland, should he not be roused from his sleep by stealthy Christmas sprits, will wake to find a carved wooden box with a gun-cleaning kit inside, as well as extra ammo for his guns.
Penny, meanwhile, will be greeted with a bag full of warm clothes in various sizes, a note saying, "You might like to help Santa out this year," and a small velvet box just for her, which opens to reveal a beautiful, clear drop of amber set in a pendant, strung on a fine silver chain.
The present Santa left for Buffy is a perfectly balanced bastard (hand-and-a-half) sword. Full-tang construction, Damascus steel, leather-wrapped hilt, and a nice little kit to maintain it properly. It doesn't come enchanted, but if she can find someone willing to do it, it'll hold an enchantment very well.
For Logan, there's a nice, functional messenger bag full of high-quality yarn in various blends of materials, and a wide variety of colors.
Dante wakes up to find a fat man in his room, and draws on him immediately, but a moment later, the guy's gone. What the hell? But where he was standing, there's a sweet cherry-red Fender guitar, and an amp. Merry Christmas to all, and rock the fuck on.
Amber, for her part, already has her "real" guitar, so she'll just have to settle for Rock Star. Yeah, the game.
And the small stockpile of fine wine in Eric's room has just been replenished, with a few vintages not even he had been able to get his hands on previously.
In the Casa del OT3, Santa lays a few more gifts under the tree.
There's a jewelry box labeled "Rose Tyler". Inside the box, there's a crystal pendant with an image hidden in its depths... Jack, Rose, and the Doctor in his ninth generation. It looks just like a pendant Rose had before, though whether it's the same one is up for debate.
Likewise, an envelope with Donna's name on it contains a certificate for a full day of pampering at The Peninsula Spa.
There's a rectangular package for Cassandra, of all people, with a self-help book inside: Slaying the Bitch Within: How to Be Sweet, Reasonable, and Still Get What You Want. It may or may not be a work of satire, with tips on how to react when the rabble don't acknowledge your innate superiority, but the advice is sound. If Cassandra reads it.
For Maria, there's a box containing a laptop. It's a nice little Mac, with an iTunes gift card taped to it so it won't be missed. There's a folder on said laptop full of digital pictures of her friends and family from back home, and it's set to automatically connect to MiracleNet. Strangely enough, MiracleNet seems to get full signal... pretty much everywhere.
There's a bundle for Cy, with a big, warm coat. Since Cy can't read, in addition to the little card bearing her name, there's a tiny bag of catnip. That ought to get the point across rather well.
A note addressed to Desmond Descant says, "Go to your office. Your present is there." When he does, he'll find it well-stocked with all the office supplies he could ever need.
In a pink box with Emily's name on it, there are a few things: a pair of ballet slippers, a leotard, tights, and a gift certificate for a free month of ballet lessons -- just long enough to see if she likes them.
Dangling from the tree like a very strange ornament, there's a TARDIS key with a perception filter attached to it. The tag on it reads "Martha Jones".
There's also a very shiny, very SUSPICIOUS package addressed to the Doctor. However, this particular package doesn't explode or attack anyone -- it just contains a transducer. A very, very nice, shiny transducer, and a note reading, "Merry Christmas, Doctor. Not every year has to be doomed."
For Melissa, there's a beautiful and sturdy notebook, a collection of very nice pens, some in different colors, and a backpack to carry them in. Apparently Santa has a soft spot of Nephilim.
And as for John Smith... He gets a decent sampling of the literature of the past century, which really only takes up one shelf of a new and rather tall bookshelf. John and books... It's a thing.
Where before, the Kashtta Tower was sparsely decorated, the inhabitants may be shocked to find that, at some obscene hour of the morning, the entire tower was decked out with wreaths, garlands, and twinkling lights. There's a huge Christmas tree in the lobby that wasn't there before, covered in tiny white lights, delicate glass ornaments, and gold and sliver bows, and Santa leaves a stack of presents lying underneath.
One brightly-wrapped box, addressed to April Sark, contains a datapad, complete with stored images of the people April has adopted as her family... Including pictures of her with Jonas. The fact that there was no way these images could exist -- some of them as recent as the Christmas Ball -- doesn't change the fact that they're there.
A big, heart-shaped package for Mat Wallace contains a large green heartbeat pillow. The note attached to it reads, "For when friends and family can't be there -- know that they still love you."
For Annie Cartwright, there's a velvet box with a simple yet elegant ID bracelet with what appears to be a tiny sunstone set in it, because apparently the universe just has a sense of humor like that. There's a small note along with it that says, "Until you can handle the sunlight on your own, this may help." It may have freakish alien technology in it. It may be magical. Who knows?
Another velvet box is for Will Tippin, and inside it is a pair of wedding bands. The narration assumes he'll know exactly what those are.
An envelope addressed to Mathias contains, simply, $5000, and a card which plays shrill and annoying Christmas music when opened.
In a package for Fiona, there's a top-of-the-line toolkit for all her explosives-making needs.
For Juliet, there's a box featuring snowman wrapping paper. Inside, there are copies of Carrie, The Stand, Pet Sematary, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, and It, identical to the ones she used to have, right down to the notes in the margins.
Marshall gets a huge box, covered in red and gold wrapping paper. It's filled with spare parts of all descriptions, some of which may not be terrestrial in origin, but all of which would be of interest to a devoted gadget geek like Marshall.
Jack Bristow gets a sealed envelope with a note featuring a room number for a room in an unused part of the Tower. Should he go to that room, he'll find a grand piano with a big silver bow on top.
Abby will find a Coelurosauravus curled under the tree, with a blue bow tied around his neck, and a tag that has her name on it. Shhh. Rex is sleeping.
For Daniel Jackson, there's a huge leather-bound photo album, containing his entire life in pictures. Friends and family are all there, including pictures that, again, shouldn't exist, but do.
There are three wrapped boxes, neatly stacked and all tied together with the same bow, for Andy. Unwrapping the boxes will reveal that these are box sets of the last three seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
A bottle of Johnnie Walker blue-label is carefully placed under the tree as well, with a tag reading, "Dr. Owen Harper."
There's a lacquered wooden box with a tag bearing Revan's name. Inside are a dozen pure beeswax candles with candle holders, a small brass censer with sand and charcoal discs meant for burning incense over, as well as a selection of various herbs, resins, and incense mixes. Standard blends like Nag Champa, as well as pure sandalwood, frankincense, myrrh, dragon's blood, dried crushed rose petals, copal, cedar, and a number of other lovely-smelling things.
For Helga, there's a package wrapped in black and gold, containing a small gold cup with two finely-wrought handles, and an engraving of a badger. This should be somewhat familiar to her.
There's a present with a tag that has the name "Judas Reyc" crossed out, and "Captain Jack Harkness" written very emphatically underneath. The present Santa has for the man isn't something he can appreciate now, but there's a method to this madness: the present itself is a small, beautifully illustrated book telling the story of Pandora's Box. A ribbon bookmark is tucked inside, marking the page that mentions the last thing in the box: Hope.
A box for Michael Vaughn contains a Very Nice Watch. Said Very Nice Watch contains a hidden USB flash drive and the ability to sync to the atomic clock on three continents.
There's a tiny bonsai tree with a bow around it. Affixed to the bow is an envelope that reads "Casey", no first name. Inside the envelope is a Victoria's Secret gift certificate.
A large box for Sam Tyler, done up in green and gold paper and ribbon, contains a rather impressive collection of Isaac Asimov's writing.
Another box is marked, "For Gwen Cooper and her team." It contains a set of moblie phones, each with numbers for all the rest of Torchwood, all getting service from MiracleNet. The phones serve as cameras, voice recorders, and mp3 players. All of them have GPS software installed, so everyone will always know how to get unlost, and the phone specifically marked as Gwen's has a small crystal charm dangling from it.
A dark blue silk bag with a tag reading "Toshiko Sato" has a very familiar device, meant to scan and transmit data.
A box for Nate Wallace contains a shiny new top-of-the-line laptop, again with MiracleNet access, and pictures of him and Mat.
A large box wrapped in crimson and silver bears Sydney's name, and contains a widescreen, high-definition TV with a built-in DVD/Blu-ray player. Also in the box are several of the more intelligent romantic comedies on Blu-ray.
For Michael, there's a big box with two sets of body armor... One human in design, the other canine.
Gene Hunt's going to find another bottle of the Glenfiddich waiting for him under the tree, and a carton of Garibaldis.
Suzie, on the other hand, will find several poetry anthologies, wrapped in silver paper -- Byron, Eliot, Rimbaud, Tennyson, and Whitman, to name a few.
For Ianto, there's a very familiar bit of alien technology in a blue and silver box. Tosh might recognize it as being from the coffee machine back in Cardiff.
Wrapped in plain green paper, with a tag reading "Shepherd Book", there's a small stack of comparative religions texts, current to the time period, and the holy books of several major faiths.
And, under the tree, in what might be a supreme act of irony, or perhaps just interfaith consideration, is a Menorah exactly like the one Susan Ivanova grew up watching her parents light every year. A small tag bears her name, as well as the dates for Hanukkah this year -- and it hasn't ended yet.
Once he's done putting presents under the unexpected Christmas tree, Santa makes a quick trip down to the basement, producing a lovely chocolate cake for GLaDOS. It is delicious and moist.
And then, Santa takes a moment to look for HK-47. The advantage to being ignored by security systems and recording equipment is that robots and computers don't really notice him, either, so he's able to install the HK Pacifist Protocol Package with a minimum of fuss, and stick a little note on HK-47, while he's at it: "This unit has had the HK Pacifist Protocol Package installed. Included are directions for uninstalling or disabling features of this package. Merry Christmas!" Detailed instructions follow.
CNJ, on the other hand, gets... A hat just like Santa's. It's just there, on its head. MAKING SENSE IS NOT REQUIRED.
At the Sunset Vista Estates, individual people may find things in their apartments, if they don't find Santa himself.
For Bambi, Santa leaves a box covered in patterned silver wrapping paper. Inside, there's an elaborately designed music box in the shape of a carousel. It plays the Nutcracker Suite.
Leona is left a sleek little case with a bow on, which contains the very latest and best model Glock.
By Arlin's bed, there's a card reading, "Look outside, Arlin." The card has a key attached to it. The key goes to the motorcycle parked outside, which will strike him as quite familiar...
For Luke, there's a kitten-sized pet bed at the foot of his regular bed, along with a harness and leash, a pretty blue collar with a little jingly bell, and several shiny cat toys which make intriguing noises when batted.
On Rusty's bed, there's a box containing a Nintendo DS Lite in deep, metallic red, with a copy of one of those "train your mind" games which is curiously addictive.
Romeo, for his part, can have a very, very old sheaf of papers. A quick glance will reveal it to be Romeo and Juliet, hand-written. Expert analysis will reveal it to have been written by Shakespeare himself, probably for one of his actors.
And a little Behemoth by the name of Indigo who doesn't technically exist in the game yet wakes up to find a box with a butter-soft tailored leather coat inside it, with carefully-designed slits in the back for her wings. The squeeing can probably be heard all over the building.
In the Prophet's building, Santa leaves another pile of packages.
One, addressed to Sally, contains several antique books that, all told, are worth a small fortune.
There's a big fluffy teddy bear, too, with a bow around its neck, and a tag saying that it's for Eli. Yes, a teddy bear. There's also a note which reads, "For those who have little to want, sometimes a touch of whimsy is more important than a suit of clothing." Consider it a present from the Rift itself or something, Eli. Santa himself had nothing to do with that choice.
A wrapped package bearing the name "Victoria" has a lovely leather-bound, gilt-edged book on the Rift, both philosophical meditations and an in-depth history.
There's also a stuffed, dead dog that could only be for one person... JD, we've got Rowdy here for you. Enjoy.
The Prophet himself has received a warm, thick robe.
In a small apartment just above a Chicago deli, he leaves a set of very large wrapped packages that contain top-of-the-line DJ equipment.
At a Disney World hotel, Skye's little sister awakes to find Santa pressing a finger to his lips and winking at her, before handing her a small package with a whispered "Merry Christmas, Samantha." The package contains a delicate pendant in the shape of a butterfly.
Wherever Adelaide Hunt is staying at the moment, she'll find an envelope with a note confirming reservations at one of Chicago's fanciest restaurants. Reservations for two. Have fun, Addie.
In Sark's new apartment, Santa leaves three bottles of Château Pétrus '82, with bows on, and a note which says, "Share one with your friends. Happy Christmas."
Venturing down into the sewers, Santa goes looking for Chaka. He has a chocolate Powerbar to deliver. Also, a tinsel wig, modified to fit a hydralisk. Possibly just because the universe has a strange sense of humor, or the narration is short on sleep. Tinsel for Tinsel. Indeed.
Dmitri will merely find her mailbox stuffed with cards informing her she's now receiving gift subscriptions to many, many different magazines relevant to her interests.
That done, Santa attempts to find Raziel, with a full-length robe in a deep brown to give to him when he does.
At some point, Santa appears inside the TARDIS. How he manages this is anyone's guess, but... He's Santa Claus. It happens. After some words with a tiny robot which is less than happy about this whole situation, he gives the robot an improved sonic scanner/screwdriver. It's much more sonic, and has red levels and dampers and all manner of interesting tweaks.
As for the TARDIS herself... Santa covers the console room with garlands and ribbons, with little twinkly lights. She gets to be pretty for the holidays! Also, left on the console in a prominent place is a yo-yo, with a little tag which reads, "For the Doctor that belongs to this TARDIS."
In the back room of a certain restaurant/bar, the Pack will find, if not the man himself, than the things he's left: a pair of sturdy steel-toed boots for Huck, warm clothing for the rest of them, and a steaming Christmas dinner. Who cares that it's Christmas morning?
Also receiving Christmas dinner is Tess, who may just find several covered dishes in her kitchen, which will somehow stay hot until she's ready to eat, as well as a bottle of good wine.
Karu shall find, when she wakes up, a soft, fuzzy blanket in a tranquil shade of blue draped over her.
In Edna Mode's shop, Santa leaves a new sewing machine, and a laser fabric cutter. It ought to help with some of the materials she'll be working with.
The Mallory household receives a visitor as well, and when Zoe wakes up, she's going to find a set of magical texts -- not the popular occult garbage, where half the writer's efforts are directed towards hiding the truth from people who aren't magically talented, but the kind of practical workbooks that get passed down through families.
Charlie Walker's truck gets a mysterious tune-up in the middle of the night, and is freshly washed and waxed come morning. No one sees who did it.
A wandering Time Lord known only as the Other has a set of new clothes pressed into his hands. They're simple, all black, but far more in keeping with the style of this century.
And, somewhere in India, another Time Lord entirely receives a replica of a certain ring that had been taken from him when he came to this world. It doesn't do anything, there are no tricks of Time Lord engineering inside. It's merely familiar, which makes it all the more dangerous.
He moves in and out with his usual magic, somehow entering even the most securely locked rooms. Security systems fail to notice his presence, and video cameras won't hold his image. The only evidence he was there at all are the piles of gifts he leaves.
Of course, some people are bound to notice him. Light sleepers and night owls may see a flash of red out of the corners of their eyes, have a strange sense of someone there when their backs are turned, or, if they're very lucky, they might catch Santa in the act.
He'd appreciate it, though, if no one tried to shoot him. Someone always does, and it never works, but it doesn't make his night any easier.
[[OOC: You can run this like a party thread -- yes, ANOTHER one -- with people running into Santa, finding their gifts and sharing the glee, what have you. Also, I'm not sure where everyone is, so I'm having to guess on a few people. If I get it wrong, if you can work their actual location into the comment, I'd really appreciate it, and will alter the post for accuracy. Example: "In [location], [person] woke up to find a shiny present! Yay! [Person] bounced madly in glee and found hirself singing Christmas carols for no good reason!" Only not lame like that. Also, EVEN PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT PRESENTS ARE GETTING THEM. That's just how Santa rolls. If a character was listed, they're getting something. Period. If they weren't listed for whatever reason, let me know? ♥ Also AGAIN, this post should have been up early this morning, but this thing took FOR-BLOODY-EVER. ZOMG. Next year, I'm starting this post the moment present-requests come in. Because yes, Santa's coming back, if we're still going then.]]
The man blinks and looks around, and then peers at the list in his hand... A list that's distinctly different than it was a moment ago. Longer, as well.
He blinks. Something's distinctly off here, and when he looks into his bag, he finds that the gifts painstakingly assembled by elves are gone, and there are a seemingly infinite number of new packages just waiting to be delivered.
But really, it doesn't matter where he is, or how he came to be here: he's had many names over the centuries, been worshiped as a god a few times, revered as a servant of another god, but what he is now is no more and no less than the sum total of his myth.
Santa laughs, a deep belly laugh, and calls each of the reindeer by name as he takes the reins and lets them fly into the night.
He's got a job to do.
In the common room of the Conrad Hotel basement, there is a Christmas tree that some enterprising soul put up. Underneath it, Santa leaves a shiny stack of presents.
The tag on one says, "For Nero". Inside is a fine selection of gun parts. Some seem salvaged from the junk heap, some seem to be verifiable antiques, and some are shiny and new, but all of them are perfectly serviceable, and can be combined in various ways to make an incredible gun with several parts to spare.
There's also a cello case underneath the tree, with Dusty's name on it. It's nothing particularly fancy, but it should be quite familiar. There's quite a lot of sheet music inside, as well.
There's a cloth-wrapped bundle with a tag on it addressed to Devin and Ace Caulfield. Said bundle contains a loaf of bread -- soft, delicious, fresh-baked bread which, strangely enough, seems to regenerate. They shall have toast forever. There's also an envelope tucked in there with $5000 inside it.
Ruvin gets a large stack of books -- not wrapped, just stacked and bundled together with red and green ribbons, because that much wrapping paper might drown the whole room. The books are a comprehensive history of... pretty much the entire planet.
For Egon, there are two cases of fine German beer.
There's a white and silver package with the Vesmier's name written in flawless Gallifreyan script. Inside, there's a 120 GB iPod, and a $200 iTunes gift card. An enclosed note reads, "In the hopes of encouraging a greater understanding of human culture." The complete works of Mozart are already loaded on.
A tag that says "Onyekachi" is affixed to an elegant and sturdy parasol heavy enough to provide real shade, with the minimum possible light getting through.
A box covered in dancing gingerbread men contains cookie cutters in every conceivable shape for every possible occasion. Not surprisingly, it's for Gladys.
An envelope with Robin's name on it contains only a photo of Robin's family, years and years ago. They all look happy, and there's a date on the back. The photo also happens to be indestructible.
A small, gold-wrapped box contains a nice Blackberry (the phone, not the fruit), getting unlimited service on a provider called MiracleNet. It's programmed with the numbers of several of the local archangels, and the tag reads "Ariel", in elegant, flowing script.
There's another package marked "Wolverine". It's a smallish box, and inside are a pair of very comfortable gloves with holes to allow his claws through.
There's a box for Grace, wrapped in silver-and-gold patterned paper, which contains all of Orson Scott Card's Ender series.
For Martin, there's a set of supernatural military histories, written by one of the oldest living Angels of Knowledge. They're stored in a small trunk which looks easy to cart around, given angelic strength.
Molly gets a strange device with green lights going up one side. It emits a soft humming noise, but otherwise seems harmless. No one knows what it is. The note affixed to it reads, "Learning the answers is half the fun."
And there's also a little box marked "Elena". It contains pictures of her and her adoptive parents, her friends before they died, and, near the end, a picture of her with Romana, the two of them just sitting and talking.
There's also a box marked "Schrödinger", which contains a very nice leather corset, made to fit a male figure.
For those Conrad residents who are no longer in the basement, Santa leaves presents in individual rooms:
For Aiden, there's a sturdy sketchbook with heavy, high-quality paper, a set of woodless graphite pencils, an elaborately engraved fountain pen, and plenty of ink to refill it with.
In Methos' room, there's a perfectly-balanced katana, scalpel-sharp, with oil, a small mallet, rice paper, and a sharpening stone to properly maintain it. The tag has his real name on it, not his current alias.
Zuko will find a tea set, made of the finest porcelain, with red and gold dragons on it which seem to be dancing, as well as a packet of jasmine tea.
For Farley Claymore, Santa digs an absurdly large toolkit from his bag, suitable for anything from large-scale cutting to the most delicate of adjustments.
In Doc Brown's room, a scrapbook appears by the bed. It appears homemade, and has pictures and assorted mementos of him and Marty between its pages.
Demons being... well, demons... means that the Gauche doesn't get a great big pile of gifts... Instead, Santa leaves presents in individual apartments.
In Tay's room, he places an envelope on the table. Inside, there's a picture of a woman with a name and a date on the back. The woman in question bears a marked resemblance to Tay herself.
For Becky and Annie, there are a pair of gifts. Becky has a guitar case with a big red bow on it. Inside, there's a gorgeous, handmade acoustic guitar with nylon strings. For Annie, he leaves an envelope containing two plane tickets to Cabo, and a printed confirmation for a hotel reservation, already paid for.
In Ani and Ashley's room, Santa leaves two boxes: the one for Ani contains a set of gunsmith's tools and assorted parts, while Ashley's contains a very nice black silk robe.
In Billy's room, Santa leaves a huge, fuzzy pillow, the kind that would make a very good pet bed.
Piper's room takes a bit longer than most -- there's a bookshelf to assemble, and books to fill it with. All classics: Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters, Dickens, and a few more recent classics like Watership Down. He finishes by placing a bow on top, and a little card that reads, simply, "Merry Christmas".
Andrew is also getting books -- in this case, the complete collection of D&D manuals, with enough Player's Handbooks for a good-sized group, as well as a Dungeon Master's Screen and a stack of character sheets. Also, dice. So many dice, in every possible color. Some have glitter in. Some have swirls of iridescent color. Some are just plain ol' dice.
The present Santa leaves for Harry Dresden, on the other hand, goes for an entirely different take on 'sword & sorcery' -- a sword made specifically for a Warden, with all the powers thereof.
In Elashte's room, Santa carefully leaves a huge collection of film noir tapes. Huge. Including some movies that don't actually exist in this universe.
The Rani, the next time she goes into her lab, will find a set of perfectly preserved tissue samples from many, many species. Dalek, Macra, Chula, Krillitane, Sontaran, pre-Loom Gallifreyan, Carrionite, and Sycorax, just to name a few.
For Malek, Santa has left a very sturdy, very WARM trenchcoat. If there's a coat that will survive him raptoring out, it'll be this one.
Shepard has a crimson-wrapped box which contains all the DVDs for Stargate SG-1.
In Aubrey's room, there will be a small box, wrapped in shimmering green paper. Inside the box, there's a wireless card. It's a very special wireless card, in that once it's plugged into a laptop, said laptop will always be in range of a wireless network labeled MiracleNet. Other networks are, of course, still available, depending on location.
In Babel's room, Santa leaves a rather whimsical-looking blown glass vase filled with giant Pixy Stix and lollipops -- the swirly, multicolored kind half the size of a person's head, and the huge spirally ones that look like unicorn horns. Tiny origami animals are dangling from the candy bouquet on brightly-colored ribbons. No explanation is given or particularly needed for the origami animals -- they're just there. Being cute.
In Lesya's room, there's a box wrapped in green and silver. Inside, there's a huge snowglobe, showing the Chicago skyline. There's also little switch on the bottom that causes the buildings to light up from the inside.
Santa leaves a cell phone -- a sleek, folding thing, in a deep metallic red, complete with camera and a full library of pointless cell phone games -- in Ray's room, with a tiny gold bow on. The phone also seems to use MiracleNet as a service provider, and is set for unlimited minutes and text messaging.
In Noah's room, there's a box wrapped in red and silver, with an effect eerily reminiscent of blood on steel, though not to a point where anyone could point out obvious morbid intent. It contains an impressive array of sharp objects ranging in size from tiny throwing knives to a machete, and a sharpening stone to go with them.
For Trinity, there's a fine selection of very potent alcohol, and Santa is not going to think about what she wants to use that for. He just isn't. This is why he doesn't usually get anything for the people on his "Naughty" list.
Judge Doom will find a kit for the care of his sword: oils for the blade, soft cloths, a sharpening stone, all the basics.
For Victor, there's a large hardbound book featuring both detailed illustrations and glossy color photos of the butterflies of North America. It's wrapped in butterfly-print wrapping paper, with a bow carefully shaped to resemble swallowtail wings.
Roland, should he not be roused from his sleep by stealthy Christmas sprits, will wake to find a carved wooden box with a gun-cleaning kit inside, as well as extra ammo for his guns.
Penny, meanwhile, will be greeted with a bag full of warm clothes in various sizes, a note saying, "You might like to help Santa out this year," and a small velvet box just for her, which opens to reveal a beautiful, clear drop of amber set in a pendant, strung on a fine silver chain.
The present Santa left for Buffy is a perfectly balanced bastard (hand-and-a-half) sword. Full-tang construction, Damascus steel, leather-wrapped hilt, and a nice little kit to maintain it properly. It doesn't come enchanted, but if she can find someone willing to do it, it'll hold an enchantment very well.
For Logan, there's a nice, functional messenger bag full of high-quality yarn in various blends of materials, and a wide variety of colors.
Dante wakes up to find a fat man in his room, and draws on him immediately, but a moment later, the guy's gone. What the hell? But where he was standing, there's a sweet cherry-red Fender guitar, and an amp. Merry Christmas to all, and rock the fuck on.
Amber, for her part, already has her "real" guitar, so she'll just have to settle for Rock Star. Yeah, the game.
And the small stockpile of fine wine in Eric's room has just been replenished, with a few vintages not even he had been able to get his hands on previously.
In the Casa del OT3, Santa lays a few more gifts under the tree.
There's a jewelry box labeled "Rose Tyler". Inside the box, there's a crystal pendant with an image hidden in its depths... Jack, Rose, and the Doctor in his ninth generation. It looks just like a pendant Rose had before, though whether it's the same one is up for debate.
Likewise, an envelope with Donna's name on it contains a certificate for a full day of pampering at The Peninsula Spa.
There's a rectangular package for Cassandra, of all people, with a self-help book inside: Slaying the Bitch Within: How to Be Sweet, Reasonable, and Still Get What You Want. It may or may not be a work of satire, with tips on how to react when the rabble don't acknowledge your innate superiority, but the advice is sound. If Cassandra reads it.
For Maria, there's a box containing a laptop. It's a nice little Mac, with an iTunes gift card taped to it so it won't be missed. There's a folder on said laptop full of digital pictures of her friends and family from back home, and it's set to automatically connect to MiracleNet. Strangely enough, MiracleNet seems to get full signal... pretty much everywhere.
There's a bundle for Cy, with a big, warm coat. Since Cy can't read, in addition to the little card bearing her name, there's a tiny bag of catnip. That ought to get the point across rather well.
A note addressed to Desmond Descant says, "Go to your office. Your present is there." When he does, he'll find it well-stocked with all the office supplies he could ever need.
In a pink box with Emily's name on it, there are a few things: a pair of ballet slippers, a leotard, tights, and a gift certificate for a free month of ballet lessons -- just long enough to see if she likes them.
Dangling from the tree like a very strange ornament, there's a TARDIS key with a perception filter attached to it. The tag on it reads "Martha Jones".
There's also a very shiny, very SUSPICIOUS package addressed to the Doctor. However, this particular package doesn't explode or attack anyone -- it just contains a transducer. A very, very nice, shiny transducer, and a note reading, "Merry Christmas, Doctor. Not every year has to be doomed."
For Melissa, there's a beautiful and sturdy notebook, a collection of very nice pens, some in different colors, and a backpack to carry them in. Apparently Santa has a soft spot of Nephilim.
And as for John Smith... He gets a decent sampling of the literature of the past century, which really only takes up one shelf of a new and rather tall bookshelf. John and books... It's a thing.
Where before, the Kashtta Tower was sparsely decorated, the inhabitants may be shocked to find that, at some obscene hour of the morning, the entire tower was decked out with wreaths, garlands, and twinkling lights. There's a huge Christmas tree in the lobby that wasn't there before, covered in tiny white lights, delicate glass ornaments, and gold and sliver bows, and Santa leaves a stack of presents lying underneath.
One brightly-wrapped box, addressed to April Sark, contains a datapad, complete with stored images of the people April has adopted as her family... Including pictures of her with Jonas. The fact that there was no way these images could exist -- some of them as recent as the Christmas Ball -- doesn't change the fact that they're there.
A big, heart-shaped package for Mat Wallace contains a large green heartbeat pillow. The note attached to it reads, "For when friends and family can't be there -- know that they still love you."
For Annie Cartwright, there's a velvet box with a simple yet elegant ID bracelet with what appears to be a tiny sunstone set in it, because apparently the universe just has a sense of humor like that. There's a small note along with it that says, "Until you can handle the sunlight on your own, this may help." It may have freakish alien technology in it. It may be magical. Who knows?
Another velvet box is for Will Tippin, and inside it is a pair of wedding bands. The narration assumes he'll know exactly what those are.
An envelope addressed to Mathias contains, simply, $5000, and a card which plays shrill and annoying Christmas music when opened.
In a package for Fiona, there's a top-of-the-line toolkit for all her explosives-making needs.
For Juliet, there's a box featuring snowman wrapping paper. Inside, there are copies of Carrie, The Stand, Pet Sematary, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, and It, identical to the ones she used to have, right down to the notes in the margins.
Marshall gets a huge box, covered in red and gold wrapping paper. It's filled with spare parts of all descriptions, some of which may not be terrestrial in origin, but all of which would be of interest to a devoted gadget geek like Marshall.
Jack Bristow gets a sealed envelope with a note featuring a room number for a room in an unused part of the Tower. Should he go to that room, he'll find a grand piano with a big silver bow on top.
Abby will find a Coelurosauravus curled under the tree, with a blue bow tied around his neck, and a tag that has her name on it. Shhh. Rex is sleeping.
For Daniel Jackson, there's a huge leather-bound photo album, containing his entire life in pictures. Friends and family are all there, including pictures that, again, shouldn't exist, but do.
There are three wrapped boxes, neatly stacked and all tied together with the same bow, for Andy. Unwrapping the boxes will reveal that these are box sets of the last three seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
A bottle of Johnnie Walker blue-label is carefully placed under the tree as well, with a tag reading, "Dr. Owen Harper."
There's a lacquered wooden box with a tag bearing Revan's name. Inside are a dozen pure beeswax candles with candle holders, a small brass censer with sand and charcoal discs meant for burning incense over, as well as a selection of various herbs, resins, and incense mixes. Standard blends like Nag Champa, as well as pure sandalwood, frankincense, myrrh, dragon's blood, dried crushed rose petals, copal, cedar, and a number of other lovely-smelling things.
For Helga, there's a package wrapped in black and gold, containing a small gold cup with two finely-wrought handles, and an engraving of a badger. This should be somewhat familiar to her.
There's a present with a tag that has the name "Judas Reyc" crossed out, and "Captain Jack Harkness" written very emphatically underneath. The present Santa has for the man isn't something he can appreciate now, but there's a method to this madness: the present itself is a small, beautifully illustrated book telling the story of Pandora's Box. A ribbon bookmark is tucked inside, marking the page that mentions the last thing in the box: Hope.
A box for Michael Vaughn contains a Very Nice Watch. Said Very Nice Watch contains a hidden USB flash drive and the ability to sync to the atomic clock on three continents.
There's a tiny bonsai tree with a bow around it. Affixed to the bow is an envelope that reads "Casey", no first name. Inside the envelope is a Victoria's Secret gift certificate.
A large box for Sam Tyler, done up in green and gold paper and ribbon, contains a rather impressive collection of Isaac Asimov's writing.
Another box is marked, "For Gwen Cooper and her team." It contains a set of moblie phones, each with numbers for all the rest of Torchwood, all getting service from MiracleNet. The phones serve as cameras, voice recorders, and mp3 players. All of them have GPS software installed, so everyone will always know how to get unlost, and the phone specifically marked as Gwen's has a small crystal charm dangling from it.
A dark blue silk bag with a tag reading "Toshiko Sato" has a very familiar device, meant to scan and transmit data.
A box for Nate Wallace contains a shiny new top-of-the-line laptop, again with MiracleNet access, and pictures of him and Mat.
A large box wrapped in crimson and silver bears Sydney's name, and contains a widescreen, high-definition TV with a built-in DVD/Blu-ray player. Also in the box are several of the more intelligent romantic comedies on Blu-ray.
For Michael, there's a big box with two sets of body armor... One human in design, the other canine.
Gene Hunt's going to find another bottle of the Glenfiddich waiting for him under the tree, and a carton of Garibaldis.
Suzie, on the other hand, will find several poetry anthologies, wrapped in silver paper -- Byron, Eliot, Rimbaud, Tennyson, and Whitman, to name a few.
For Ianto, there's a very familiar bit of alien technology in a blue and silver box. Tosh might recognize it as being from the coffee machine back in Cardiff.
Wrapped in plain green paper, with a tag reading "Shepherd Book", there's a small stack of comparative religions texts, current to the time period, and the holy books of several major faiths.
And, under the tree, in what might be a supreme act of irony, or perhaps just interfaith consideration, is a Menorah exactly like the one Susan Ivanova grew up watching her parents light every year. A small tag bears her name, as well as the dates for Hanukkah this year -- and it hasn't ended yet.
Once he's done putting presents under the unexpected Christmas tree, Santa makes a quick trip down to the basement, producing a lovely chocolate cake for GLaDOS. It is delicious and moist.
And then, Santa takes a moment to look for HK-47. The advantage to being ignored by security systems and recording equipment is that robots and computers don't really notice him, either, so he's able to install the HK Pacifist Protocol Package with a minimum of fuss, and stick a little note on HK-47, while he's at it: "This unit has had the HK Pacifist Protocol Package installed. Included are directions for uninstalling or disabling features of this package. Merry Christmas!" Detailed instructions follow.
CNJ, on the other hand, gets... A hat just like Santa's. It's just there, on its head. MAKING SENSE IS NOT REQUIRED.
At the Sunset Vista Estates, individual people may find things in their apartments, if they don't find Santa himself.
For Bambi, Santa leaves a box covered in patterned silver wrapping paper. Inside, there's an elaborately designed music box in the shape of a carousel. It plays the Nutcracker Suite.
Leona is left a sleek little case with a bow on, which contains the very latest and best model Glock.
By Arlin's bed, there's a card reading, "Look outside, Arlin." The card has a key attached to it. The key goes to the motorcycle parked outside, which will strike him as quite familiar...
For Luke, there's a kitten-sized pet bed at the foot of his regular bed, along with a harness and leash, a pretty blue collar with a little jingly bell, and several shiny cat toys which make intriguing noises when batted.
On Rusty's bed, there's a box containing a Nintendo DS Lite in deep, metallic red, with a copy of one of those "train your mind" games which is curiously addictive.
Romeo, for his part, can have a very, very old sheaf of papers. A quick glance will reveal it to be Romeo and Juliet, hand-written. Expert analysis will reveal it to have been written by Shakespeare himself, probably for one of his actors.
And a little Behemoth by the name of Indigo who doesn't technically exist in the game yet wakes up to find a box with a butter-soft tailored leather coat inside it, with carefully-designed slits in the back for her wings. The squeeing can probably be heard all over the building.
In the Prophet's building, Santa leaves another pile of packages.
One, addressed to Sally, contains several antique books that, all told, are worth a small fortune.
There's a big fluffy teddy bear, too, with a bow around its neck, and a tag saying that it's for Eli. Yes, a teddy bear. There's also a note which reads, "For those who have little to want, sometimes a touch of whimsy is more important than a suit of clothing." Consider it a present from the Rift itself or something, Eli. Santa himself had nothing to do with that choice.
A wrapped package bearing the name "Victoria" has a lovely leather-bound, gilt-edged book on the Rift, both philosophical meditations and an in-depth history.
There's also a stuffed, dead dog that could only be for one person... JD, we've got Rowdy here for you. Enjoy.
The Prophet himself has received a warm, thick robe.
In a small apartment just above a Chicago deli, he leaves a set of very large wrapped packages that contain top-of-the-line DJ equipment.
At a Disney World hotel, Skye's little sister awakes to find Santa pressing a finger to his lips and winking at her, before handing her a small package with a whispered "Merry Christmas, Samantha." The package contains a delicate pendant in the shape of a butterfly.
Wherever Adelaide Hunt is staying at the moment, she'll find an envelope with a note confirming reservations at one of Chicago's fanciest restaurants. Reservations for two. Have fun, Addie.
In Sark's new apartment, Santa leaves three bottles of Château Pétrus '82, with bows on, and a note which says, "Share one with your friends. Happy Christmas."
Venturing down into the sewers, Santa goes looking for Chaka. He has a chocolate Powerbar to deliver. Also, a tinsel wig, modified to fit a hydralisk. Possibly just because the universe has a strange sense of humor, or the narration is short on sleep. Tinsel for Tinsel. Indeed.
Dmitri will merely find her mailbox stuffed with cards informing her she's now receiving gift subscriptions to many, many different magazines relevant to her interests.
That done, Santa attempts to find Raziel, with a full-length robe in a deep brown to give to him when he does.
At some point, Santa appears inside the TARDIS. How he manages this is anyone's guess, but... He's Santa Claus. It happens. After some words with a tiny robot which is less than happy about this whole situation, he gives the robot an improved sonic scanner/screwdriver. It's much more sonic, and has red levels and dampers and all manner of interesting tweaks.
As for the TARDIS herself... Santa covers the console room with garlands and ribbons, with little twinkly lights. She gets to be pretty for the holidays! Also, left on the console in a prominent place is a yo-yo, with a little tag which reads, "For the Doctor that belongs to this TARDIS."
In the back room of a certain restaurant/bar, the Pack will find, if not the man himself, than the things he's left: a pair of sturdy steel-toed boots for Huck, warm clothing for the rest of them, and a steaming Christmas dinner. Who cares that it's Christmas morning?
Also receiving Christmas dinner is Tess, who may just find several covered dishes in her kitchen, which will somehow stay hot until she's ready to eat, as well as a bottle of good wine.
Karu shall find, when she wakes up, a soft, fuzzy blanket in a tranquil shade of blue draped over her.
In Edna Mode's shop, Santa leaves a new sewing machine, and a laser fabric cutter. It ought to help with some of the materials she'll be working with.
The Mallory household receives a visitor as well, and when Zoe wakes up, she's going to find a set of magical texts -- not the popular occult garbage, where half the writer's efforts are directed towards hiding the truth from people who aren't magically talented, but the kind of practical workbooks that get passed down through families.
Charlie Walker's truck gets a mysterious tune-up in the middle of the night, and is freshly washed and waxed come morning. No one sees who did it.
A wandering Time Lord known only as the Other has a set of new clothes pressed into his hands. They're simple, all black, but far more in keeping with the style of this century.
And, somewhere in India, another Time Lord entirely receives a replica of a certain ring that had been taken from him when he came to this world. It doesn't do anything, there are no tricks of Time Lord engineering inside. It's merely familiar, which makes it all the more dangerous.
He moves in and out with his usual magic, somehow entering even the most securely locked rooms. Security systems fail to notice his presence, and video cameras won't hold his image. The only evidence he was there at all are the piles of gifts he leaves.
Of course, some people are bound to notice him. Light sleepers and night owls may see a flash of red out of the corners of their eyes, have a strange sense of someone there when their backs are turned, or, if they're very lucky, they might catch Santa in the act.
He'd appreciate it, though, if no one tried to shoot him. Someone always does, and it never works, but it doesn't make his night any easier.
[[OOC: You can run this like a party thread -- yes, ANOTHER one -- with people running into Santa, finding their gifts and sharing the glee, what have you. Also, I'm not sure where everyone is, so I'm having to guess on a few people. If I get it wrong, if you can work their actual location into the comment, I'd really appreciate it, and will alter the post for accuracy. Example: "In [location], [person] woke up to find a shiny present! Yay! [Person] bounced madly in glee and found hirself singing Christmas carols for no good reason!" Only not lame like that. Also, EVEN PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT PRESENTS ARE GETTING THEM. That's just how Santa rolls. If a character was listed, they're getting something. Period. If they weren't listed for whatever reason, let me know? ♥ Also AGAIN, this post should have been up early this morning, but this thing took FOR-BLOODY-EVER. ZOMG. Next year, I'm starting this post the moment present-requests come in. Because yes, Santa's coming back, if we're still going then.]]