The end of Saiunkoku?
Posted here, since I figured some of you would get a kick out of this.
This is COMPLETE CRACK, and is based on a bit of conversation imanewme and I were joking around about regarding the end of the Saiunkoku series. In a way, I (personally) don't want it to end, since I kind of really like the story and characters and, you know, everything about it. But since I can't read or write Japanese, and have no access to the originals or translations of the latest canon, I am starting to think I may never know. At all.
So, with this in mind, I wrote my own ending! XD
*complete character assassination follows*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And Shuurei looked at the brothers before her, her eyes brightening in realization.
"You mean, you two..."
Seiran's signature eye-crease and smile softened in mild embarrassment, while Ryuuki's flushed happily.
"Yes!"
"So this means..."
"We're both the Emperor, so we can ORDER you to do us both -- at the same time!"
"Oh thank god, I was worried you were going to make me assign nights of the week to each of you..."
To the side, with her arms loosely crossed over her bosom, Jyuusan-hime watched the sickeningly heartwarming ménage-à-trois as it assembled before her. And careened to the side. And giggling madly, tumbled through a doorway, kicking the door shut haphazardly as they did, the sounds of clothes being torn off with wild abandon and glee serenading those still left in their midst.
"All that work for that?" The Ran heiress gaped. Then straightened her back defiantly. "Oh Hells no."
Taking a glance at the remaining eligibles, she strode directly over to Ensei, and with an expectant clearing of her throat to get his attention (he was still shocked by the Taking of the Kou that was taking place behind the mostly closed doors), she grabbed a fistful of his vest and dragged him deliberately towards the Imperial Harem.
"I'm not allowed here--," he began, but she shushed him with a glare.
"If the two of them now have her, trust me, we're going to need someone to entertain us. Now march!"
Shisui blushed.
Shouka coughed.
Shisui peeked up over the corner of her fan.
Shouka scratched the back of his head.
Shisui blushed deeper, and took a step, then another, turning delicately so that she ever so casually brushed her sleeve against his as she retreated to her private quarters.
In a split-second, where once had stood the stealthiest assassin in all of Saiunkoku now was nothing but air... and a hole in the ceiling, mostly likely evidence of a hasty departure.
"May I call you--."
"It's been two full anime seasons, 8 graphic novels, and an ungodly number of light novels by now! Just take off your pants, you stubborn DILF!"
"...Wha?..."
"I mean... I love you?"
And lastly, Eigetsu, Kourin, and Kouyuu trembled in vague understanding of roughly what was taking place all around them, all over the Palace, on every surface, and--
Whmp! "Ah!"
Whmp! "Ah!"
Whmp! "Ah, yes, more! Gods, yes! Yes! YES!"
--apparently against the walls, too.
"Um, would anyone like to get something to eat?" Kouyuu asked shakily, sweat breaking out on his forehead.
Suddenly a long, elegant arm threw itself around the collective shoulders of their huddled group, and its owner grinned lasciviously at them.
"Oh yes," said Shuei, "I'm positively famished."
And they all lived absolutely happily depraved thereafter!
THE END.
XD
This is COMPLETE CRACK, and is based on a bit of conversation imanewme and I were joking around about regarding the end of the Saiunkoku series. In a way, I (personally) don't want it to end, since I kind of really like the story and characters and, you know, everything about it. But since I can't read or write Japanese, and have no access to the originals or translations of the latest canon, I am starting to think I may never know. At all.
So, with this in mind, I wrote my own ending! XD
*complete character assassination follows*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And Shuurei looked at the brothers before her, her eyes brightening in realization.
"You mean, you two..."
Seiran's signature eye-crease and smile softened in mild embarrassment, while Ryuuki's flushed happily.
"Yes!"
"So this means..."
"We're both the Emperor, so we can ORDER you to do us both -- at the same time!"
"Oh thank god, I was worried you were going to make me assign nights of the week to each of you..."
To the side, with her arms loosely crossed over her bosom, Jyuusan-hime watched the sickeningly heartwarming ménage-à-trois as it assembled before her. And careened to the side. And giggling madly, tumbled through a doorway, kicking the door shut haphazardly as they did, the sounds of clothes being torn off with wild abandon and glee serenading those still left in their midst.
"All that work for that?" The Ran heiress gaped. Then straightened her back defiantly. "Oh Hells no."
Taking a glance at the remaining eligibles, she strode directly over to Ensei, and with an expectant clearing of her throat to get his attention (he was still shocked by the Taking of the Kou that was taking place behind the mostly closed doors), she grabbed a fistful of his vest and dragged him deliberately towards the Imperial Harem.
"I'm not allowed here--," he began, but she shushed him with a glare.
"If the two of them now have her, trust me, we're going to need someone to entertain us. Now march!"
Shisui blushed.
Shouka coughed.
Shisui peeked up over the corner of her fan.
Shouka scratched the back of his head.
Shisui blushed deeper, and took a step, then another, turning delicately so that she ever so casually brushed her sleeve against his as she retreated to her private quarters.
In a split-second, where once had stood the stealthiest assassin in all of Saiunkoku now was nothing but air... and a hole in the ceiling, mostly likely evidence of a hasty departure.
"May I call you--."
"It's been two full anime seasons, 8 graphic novels, and an ungodly number of light novels by now! Just take off your pants, you stubborn DILF!"
"...Wha?..."
"I mean... I love you?"
And lastly, Eigetsu, Kourin, and Kouyuu trembled in vague understanding of roughly what was taking place all around them, all over the Palace, on every surface, and--
Whmp! "Ah!"
Whmp! "Ah!"
Whmp! "Ah, yes, more! Gods, yes! Yes! YES!"
--apparently against the walls, too.
"Um, would anyone like to get something to eat?" Kouyuu asked shakily, sweat breaking out on his forehead.
Suddenly a long, elegant arm threw itself around the collective shoulders of their huddled group, and its owner grinned lasciviously at them.
"Oh yes," said Shuei, "I'm positively famished."
And they all lived absolutely happily depraved thereafter!
THE END.
XD