Merits 38 - WIP / Draft back-up (since my laptop likes to eat this fic for some reason)
Merits 38
“Hi, can I get either of you something to drink?”
“Sure, two coffees, please--.”
“Tea for me, actually.”
Jet froze a moment, maintaining his casual smile at the stewardess. “My mistake. Coffee for me, please, and a tea for--.”
“Milk and two sugars, please. Thank you,” Katara reached across her ex’s lap and accepted the steaming beverage gratefully.
“Thanks,” he said, and the stewardess, sensing the tension between the pair of attractive young people, smiled vapidly and moved on hastily to the next row of seats.
Jet blew lowly from his nose in anger, while Katara continued writing in her notebook, a few of Master Pakku’s texts on loan to her piled on the seat between herself and Jet.
“You’re ignoring me now? Is that it?”
“I have work to do, Jet. I’m already behind,” because of you, went unspoken, but was evident from her tone. Her eyes and pen never strayed from the page before her.
“We can still talk. I can help you with--.”
“No, thank you.”
“Later, I mean. When you finish your--.”
This time she raised her eyes to look at him, and their ice-blue depths were cold and hard.
“No, Jet. There is no talking. No apologizing.”
We’re through, her look clearly emphasized, and she glared at him momentarily longer before slowly turning back to work with renewed focus.
And her very deliberate action made him see red.
For a moment, Jet nearly thought he’d finally lose his temper with her, once and for all.
Couldn’t she see? Didn’t she understand? He railed internally, the fury boiling higher as it choked him. Everything he’d done, he’d done for Katara! He’d protected her from those chauvinistic males in her hometown, instilled a sense of respect in them so they respected her in return, promised to provide for her and the family they would build together, and this was how she treated him? After everything he’d done!
He seethed in recollection.
And who did she think of? Who did she want? Who had she thanked?
Not him, but--
The reminder of whose name she had murmured earlier in her delirium at the hospital nearly made him snap.
Ungrateful bitch!
The force of the epithet shook him inside, and he felt his jaw clenching tightly, his canines lengthening as the urge to shift and destroy something, anything, especially anything of value to her, nearly overwhelmed him there on the plane, 35, 000 feet in the air. She was his mate, his chosen one. She would never belong to another ever again, he swore it.
Calm down, calm down, his internal voice soothed, there’s still time.
Reflecting on what was still to come, he knew it was true.
There was still time.
So for now, he would just wait. She would come around soon enough.
Yes, he thought to himself, sipping his too-hot coffee, soon enough.
Beside him, Katara wrote on, completely unaware of her companion’s conspiracy.
(BR)
“You are always welcome back here, Katara,” the tall, rangy man swept her up in a bear hug as if she were still a little girl. Desperate for comfort, for the feeling that reminded her so much of family, of home, she held on tight to him in return, burying her face in his chest. He smelled like snow, conifer trees and cooking scents, and she clung to that sense of being grounded, that reality. It helped clear her confusion, her doubts, her…
Even as her senses were enveloped by the present, a half-remembered image flashed through her mind again-they kept coming at the most random times-of a sledge of furs being drawn to her tent, someone holding out a hand to be healed--.
A part of her, deep inside, suddenly tugged at the memory. As if it were reaching out to find… something. The longing thrummed through her, as if she was missing something vitally important. As if a part of her was lost and trying to find its way home, back to where it belonged.
She shook her head to clear it.
“I miss you already, Bato.”
“You take care of yourself on the trip home, ok?”
Katara’s smile was faint, forced, and he watched her casually as she faked her emotions.
He didn’t miss the stress that lined her young face, the dark circles under her eyes. She must still be having her nightmares. Daydreams. He refused to call them hallucinations.
Something was keeping her up at night, still, and it was taking its toll. She wasn’t the little girl he remembered anymore, had helped raise. She wouldn’t confide in him anymore, and he couldn’t make her. But at least he could let her know he would, if he could. If she needed family, he was there. He always would be.
“I will.”
He gave her a long, meaningful look. “I can see worry in your eyes, little one,” he said gravely, quietly, for her ears only. “All you need to do is call.”
Wavering slightly, she took a deep breath to steady her insides. “I know.”
He nodded, and walked her back to where Jet was waiting in line for their security check at the airport departure gate.
“You take care, too, Bato.”
He waited until they’d cleared security, cleared the gate, and walked across the icy tarmac to climb the stairs that would lead inside the plane.
It was only once they’d taxied and taken off that he turned away from the large, floor-to-ceiling windows and found his gaze meeting that of a wily, ancient shaman.
“Master Pakku,” he said respectfully, stretching out an arm in greeting.
“Bato, it’s been some time. I hear you’ll be coming to pay my door a visit soon.”
“Seems like.”
Their conversation died, neither wanting to broach the topic first.
But Pakku could only be silent for so long.
“It wasn’t him.”
“No,” agreed Bato. “But it is coming.”
“It is. And that boy, the wolf, is involved. But that wasn’t the one I was expecting.”
(BR)
“We’re going back tomorrow.”
“Where? To Master Pakku’s?” Jet turned to look at her in confusion. “Are you sure you’re ok to go back there, Katara? I really don’t think--.”
“To Ba Sing Se,” she said dully. “I re-arranged our flights. We can pack up tonight. The… Bato will take us in his truck, since we don’t have a vehicle anymore.”
Wariness spread across Jet’s features as he watched Katara leaning against the doorframe; she was still having some trouble moving around, but refused to actually sit. Pride, stubborn, pig-headed, pride, he was sure that was all that was keeping her upright.
Little did he know.
“Ok,” he said slowly.
“And Jet?”
His eyes widened.
“I’ll be staying at Bato’s tonight.”
Jet stilled.
“And what about me?”
“Do what you always do, Jet. Whatever you want. But I won’t be part of it anymore.”
His heart beat faster, harder, as anxiety at her insinuations set in.
“Katara, we can talk about--.”
“No, Jet. We can’t. I… I don’t want you to be part of my life anymore.”
“Katara, listen, we’re just having a rough patch, we’ll work things out. I know I’ve overstepped my bounds on a few things recently, but there’s been so much going on--.”
“’Overstepped your bounds’?” Katara asked softly, her shoulders tightening as she straightened up in the doorway. Her eyes blazed. She took a step inside. “’Overstepped your bounds!’”
Her fists shook.
“You call assaulting me in my sleep, when I’m pharmaceutically sedated, with the intention of controlling me like a dog and ruining my fucking life, ‘overstepping your bounds’!”
Jet was raising his hands to calm her as he strode to her, but heard the sound of rapid footsteps ascending the stairs and paused.
“Katara, is everything ok?”
She swallowed hard and forced her fists back down by her sides.
“Yes, Bato. Sorry, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“I’ll come help,” he replied, obviously not trusting her trembling voice. His tone brooked no argument.
The two young people looked at each other a moment longer, until they heard Bato crest the stairs and turn their way.
“It’s over, Jet,” Katara said quietly, and turned away.
“It’s over.”
Her feelings shimmered along the bond, and it reciprocated, like a warm, strong arm around her shoulders.
(BR)
They waited together, both in wheelchairs, at the front entrance lobby of the small hospital, as Bato pulled his truck around to meet them.
Patients, visitors, medics and a myriad of other employees milled around or walked straight past them; they pretended to ignore the two young adults, but whispers had been following Katara for days now. They knew who she was; and it didn’t take a genius to figure out she hadn’t come home for any form of happy reunion with her family. Her father hadn’t even shown up at the hospital to see her, which spawned even more gossip. Still, she had smiled and cooperated-most of the time-with her attending physicians while she’d been admitted. Mostly. There was the occasional intern or orderly who’d deserved the cussing out she’d given them…
She had held up a convincing front, for the most part-but she was sure there were at least a few nurses, those who’d been her friends or friends of her family since she was young, who could still read her well enough to know that all was not well on the home front, in particular with her self-appointed ‘fiancé’.
That gossip could be heard in bits and pieces as she and Jet waited, side by side, for Bato; Jet with his hand outstretched from the arm of his wheelchair to hers; she with her hands tucked neatly in her lap.
When Bato finally arrived to help them outside, the air that hit them as they exited the hospital was wickedly cold, and sharp. It was a fairly quiet ride home.
(BR)
Spirits alive, not that stupid story again, Katara thought to herself as she roused slightly from her sleep. Was it the third time that day she’d heard it? Fourth? Four hundredth? It felt like it.
Inside her, she felt a tightening of the cord, and she wondered again if it was a reflection of her own feelings, or someone else’s reaction to them. It fed her seething, at any rate.
“-yeah, we were really lucky the lights on the truck caught the paramedics’ attention,” Jet recounted to the nurse who was supposed to be checking her vitals. The uniformed woman seemed quite content to gaze, enraptured, at Jet’s face as he earnestly relayed the details of their ‘horrific accident’. Not that Katara remembered all the details herself, but she could probably re-tell Jet’s version-with his exact words and intonation-by memory at this point.
Ass, she thought to herself, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. Fought it hard.
“Well, to hear the ambulance techs tell it, you’d think that there was some kind of miracle!” gushed the nurse. Katara was pretty sure her name was Sandy. Or Cindy. Nancy?...
“That the northern lights were so bright above us, they led the way, huh?”
Oh, he’s rolling it on thicker than marzipan for this nurse, she thought to herself. Was her name Candy?
Her ‘connection’ thrummed inside her, and Katara gave a mental nod in thanks to the… presence’s confirmation.
“And to think your engine was still running enough to power the batteries for the headlights and things, oh, it was just something! The firemen who pulled you two from the water were amazed; they thought you’d been underwater for some time. No vitals at all, they said.”
She could hear the blasé smirk in Jet’s voice when he replied, “Well, we’re made of pretty tough stuff. It’d take more than that to stop us. We’re recently engaged, and we’ve started making plans to return to the Rez to settle down, actually, this summer…”
Katara glared outright at the pair chatting just off the end of her bed, (“Oh, that’s wonderful! How romantic!” exclaimed the nurse, and her shrill tone stabbed at Katara’s eardrums) but neither noticed the actual patient in the room.
--until she threw her bedpan at them and declared she really needed to take a shit, because something wasn’t sitting well with her.
It was most likely the pity and attention Jet was currying with the staff who were supposed to be taking care of her. (Not that she needed much attention at this point, mostly just observation to err on the side of caution, but it was a matter of principle.) With that, she threw her legs over the side of her bed and made for the small door that led to the only privacy she had.
“Is everything ok?” Jet asked her when she eventually hobbled out of the washroom.
“Just peachy,” she muttered. “Are my books here?”
“Of course not, you’re supposed to be resting--.”
“Why are you here?”
Jet stared at her, confused.
“Why are you here?” she repeated, irritated.
Uncrossing his arms slowly, Jet watched her carefully. “I’m here with you because I love you, Katara. Proposal, spending our lives together. Marriage, family. That whole ‘deal’. Remember?”
She scoffed.
His brow furrowed, visibly hurt by her dismissal. “Katara, what--.”
“Get out.” She lay back down on her side, her back to him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“What has gotten into you?”
She ignored him, and he stepped closer to her bed.
“Katara.”
Her back offered no answers, and he pressed on, feeling some irritation himself at her behaviour and lack of explanation.
“Katara,” he repeated more firmly.
“I know what you did. I remember, and I know what you did.”
Her voice was hollow, but there was more understanding in it than he’d ever heard in her words before. Not a pleasant kind of understanding, but rather a thorough, complete, dark comprehension of exactly what he’d been trying to do.
Her spirit was dark, and roiled around the cord; and it was faint, but there was a reflection of feeling along it that she held out for, that she needed. It came, and it felt like acceptance. She may still feel ashamed of herself, but the strange connection that now seemed to be part of her didn’t judge her, didn’t make her feel like a victim. It made her feel strong, like she would pull through as long as she held herself together. And it would help, wrapping itself around her again like a protective shield.
Jet watched her carefully, realization dawning.
She knew.
She knew what he was.
She knew what he’d done to her.
She wasn’t supposed to remember, but she did.
Jet felt the air leave him, his gut cave in as if he’d been punched. Quickly he shut the door to keep out the prying eyes and ears of the nursing staff.
“I can explain--.”
“Get. Out.”
“Katara--!”
“I said get out of here, Jet! I never want to see you again!”
“I was going to tell you, I swear,” he pleaded now, his voice tight, choked with emotion at the realizations that she knew. He had no idea how, other than perhaps it had to do with the accident, but she did. And hell if he wasn’t screwed right now because of it. This was not supposed to have come to light-not now, at least. “I’ve always been what I am, and I had planned on telling you-while we were here, actually, it’s just that I didn’t want to bother you while you had your school work and your family stuff, and--.”
“You just needed to rape me and bind me to you, first?”
“I need you, Katara, and it wasn’t right, but I was worried if I didn’t--.”
“What, Jet?”
“…”
“What would happen if you didn’t coerce me into…?”
A very pregnant pause, before Jet replied with his worst fear.
“… you… you might leave me.”
She laughed darkly.
“Backfire, Jet.”
The cord tightened almost possessively around her, and she tugged back in recognition. Someone or something was with her, supporting her.
She would make it.
(BR)
“Ms. Kuruk, we need you to cooperate,” sighed the radiologist over the intercom
“I am cooperating, you’re just being an ass.”
“I apologise if I am making you uncomfortable, but I am required to ask these questions. Now, is there any chance you could be pregnant? It’s a standard question.”
It didn’t help that he was right, and she knew it.
“No,” she lied, and her fist clenched tightly. She was alone in the room, no one but the tech would have heard her if she’d spoken the truth, but she still had a hard time admitting it to herself. How had she let herself be so…
Her heart panged and her throat closed off a second, but with the next heartbeat came a reassuring presence that filled and relaxed her, like someone standing alongside her and holding her hand.
It’s going to be all right, it seemed to try to relay. She could almost physically feel the light touch of lips to her forehead, calming her. Which was impossible, in the claustrophobic confines of the tube.
Swallowing and trying not to think too much about the implications of her… hallucinations… visiting her while she was undergoing her CAT Scan, Katara let out a low breath and, for the first time, reached out herself, mentally, to the silvery, sentient line that seemed to connect her to something else.
Thank you, she breathed.
(BR)
She may have woken from her coma, but she wasn’t entirely free of it.
At night, she seemed to be more vulnerable to her memories, and to the things that had transpired while she was… unaware.
Certain memories more than others.
(BR)
There it was again.
Katara left her eyes shut as she tried to open her senses up to the strange… feeling. It ebbed, flowed, and retreated.
Then ebbed, flowed, and retreated again.
It was… trying to get her attention?
Relaxing her breathing, she focused on the lingering pull that seemed to tug at her spirit. It was such a strange thing; she’d noticed it after the accident. More often than not, it felt like a cord that led away from her to… somewhere else. A connection. She hadn’t been able to figure out where, yet. But she would. She knew she would. Somehow, someway, she knew this for certain. It was there for a reason, she just needed to uncover it.
It stretched outward from her, invisible; sometimes, it almost felt like a cloak that shrouded her. At other times it felt thin, frail; and occasionally it had nearly vibrated in its intensity.
Jet hadn’t made any mention of it, so he hadn’t noticed it, or any change in her; and she couldn’t find any medical way to explain it. Though she had had it out with her nurses and attending physician when she’d first become aware of it.
“What do you mean you haven’t run a CT Scan yet?”
“There was no sign of serious trauma to the--.”
“Your definition of ‘serious’ and my definition of ‘serious’ are obviously divergent, Doctor,” she snapped, reviewing her own chart under his resigned supervision. The doctor at her bedside chewed the inside of his cheek at her derisive tone. His expression veered very clearly towards, So now the patient was the doctor? Fantastic, a back-seat driver.
“Now look at this, it says we were found without vitals - how long were we without vitals? We were underwater! Do I really need to explain to you what happens when a human being goes without oxygen? In winter? Under water!? Brain death, hypothermia, sound familiar? Get me a CT Scan, a visual acuity assessment, and for spirit’s sake some decent coffee. Also, I’ll be needing the results back from my most recent blood tests.”
“Anything else, doctor?” he asked blithely.
“Actually, yes,” Katara looked him in the eye, her gaze assessing. “A tooth brush. Hospitality may have one.”
“Yes, they may.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he threw his hands up in the air.
“All right, all right, we’ll get you a tooth brush.”
“And a CAT Scan!”
“And a CAT Scan…”
The doctor left as she huffed.
Ebb, flow…
Ebb, flow…
Ebb, flow… ripple?
Katara’s eyes widened.
Was this feeling… the cord… had she done something to… amuse it?
There were children laughing at the side of a lake, chasing and splashing each other in the shallows…
The scene changed, and she was now looking through the trees of a thick forest, the sounds of birds and wildlife surrounding her and her party of foragers. She’d joined them to collect more of the fresh herbs and flowers she needed for her altar. One of her companions called to her, laughing, and she turned to look at a woman with long, dark hair, almond-shaped eyes, and beads woven into her hair…
And then she was the one at the river bank in the sweltering summer heat, her arms lifted, her sleeveless tunic twisting, and shifting gracefully around her, calling and flowing with the water where she wanted it to go. A deep breath, a low exhale, and she’d created a perfect ice ramp for the children to slide on-into the water, with a tremendous splash. She laughed along with them, making a few more of different heights for them to play with, including a few small pucks for them to skim across the water. While she was a priestess, she was still a child at heart, sometimes, too.
When the next scene faded into focus, she felt male flesh mending together beneath her fingers, the healing glow spreading deeply into his tissues. Pale skin, dark hair, gold eyes stared back at her, piercing her, and she felt her breath catch. This man, who was--
Katara? Katara, are you there?
The voice broke softly through the scenes and while gentle, it demanded her attention.
You need to wake up soon, my love. We miss you.
Maybe later, she thought drowsily, wanting to return to the happiness she’d felt as she’d enjoyed the memories. She wanted most of all to return to that last one, to what she’d been about to remember. It drifted further out of reach, and she felt frustration, and strangely, longing, mounting within her.
There was a small sigh, and another attempt by the intruder.
Would you like to see your old home?
Yes! She replied cheerfully. Would the golden-eyed man be there? She’d hardly had a chance to look at him, but he seemed so… familiar… important to her.
And her summer dwelling, the light canopy, the altar, the offerings and beautiful fabrics that surrounded her rose to her senses. The smell of the incense, the feel of the pelts under her feet.
I’ve missed this, she smiled.
Are you ready to come back yet?
No, not yet, she replied.
What about your family?
Yes, please! Can you show them to me?
So he did, and her father, smiling gravely at her as he patted her hair, appeared before her, still in the summer camp. A group of hunters were returning with their catch, and he went to meet them so they could present their bounty, and she gave a small nod of welcome to the men.
But then the scene changed, and different people, an entirely different scene appeared.
Her heart beat harder at the unfamiliar familiarity that arose within her.
Who are these people? She looked at the petite, dark-haired woman; the two tall men, one pale, with tattoos, the other darker-skinned, with longer hair.
These are your family, too.
She swallowed, and her heart struggled to understand. She knew inside it was true, but it wasn’t making any sense. What about her family, her father, from her village?
They miss you, too, the voice said. They’re your family, too.
I don’t want to go back yet.
I know, he sighed sadly.
Who are you?
I’m waiting for you, he replied instead. I will always wait for you.
There was a pause, and the voice seemed to be further off. It’s coming time.
Next there came a tremor, and her peace and contentment started to fray at the seams.
What’s going on?
A bad feeling was closing in on her, and she mentally… reached… for him, instinctively seeking him out.
There was a flare of feeling around her at that, and she startled.
You’re getting there, he encouraged, proud of her. You’re almost there! You can do it!
I don’t like this, she admitted, suddenly feeling sharp, cold fingers snatching at her, dragging her away.
Focus, you’ll be ok. I’ll stay with you. I promise.
Who are you? She begged now, the tearing at her person frightening, terrifying her. She couldn’t see anything anymore, only feel.
You are needed where you are-but I’ll stay close.
Wait!
I promise I will be with you. Always, my love.
No!
There came a rushing, high-pitched wailing, and suddenly she was dropped from a very high place.
Her eyes flew open.
“Katara!”
“Ms. Kuruk!”
“Katara, my child, you’re awake!”
Completely disoriented, Katara stared around her.
The room swam starkly into focus.
White walls, thin bedding, green uniforms; a hospital room?
And then, expectant expressions on each of the faces that loomed over her.
She was the patient?
A pair of strong, warm arms suddenly embraced her, pulling her up against a firm chest where a heart beat wildly against her cheek. “You’re ok, you’re really ok! Oh thank god, thank god…”
A name surfaced. “Jet?...”
And then the strangest thing: though she couldn’t figure out why, she couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that crashed down upon her at the realization.
Tears streamed down Jet’s face as he rocked Katara back and forth, oblivious to her regret.
Even stranger still, though, was the slight hum and warmth that resonated from within her… outwards. Just saying hi, and welcome back, it seemed to casually imply. Then it faded into the background-or was pushed there, as she was swarmed by medical personnel, Jet, and Bato, too.
“What the Hell just happened?!” she demanded, looking wildly at those gathered around her. Had anyone else felt that… hum-thing?
“Oh, it’ll be ok now, honey,” shushed a nurse, completely misinterpreting her words.
“The fuck it will,” she muttered, --still unnerved by the ‘hum-thing’-- glaring at her. “And what are you doing?,” she snapped, coming back to herself and her medical instincts. “That pressure cuff needs to be a lot snugger if you want an accurate reading; you, over there by the drip, you can turn that thing off right now, get me some real food. And where the hell are my notes? I have work to do. I’m going to need a much sturdier side-table, and at least another lamp…”
“Oh, she’s definitely fine,” assured Jet as he smiled, relieved, at the perplexed medical staff.
“Is this a freaking bedpan under my ass!?”
“Juuuuuust fine,” repeated Jet. He was obviously on cloud nine, and simply ducked when she hurled the offending object out of the way.
“Somebody get me a coffee! And my research!”
And a psych assessment, maybe, if this hum-thing didn’t go away within the next 24-hours, she decided to herself. But she wasn’t going to share that concern just yet.
She felt a shiver go up her spine when the hum-thing seemed to… tingle at her in… was that, ‘anticipation’?
“What was in that stupid drip?!”
Still to review/add in:
- more examples of bond
- more examples of past that Katara remembers (w/ Jet, and in her past life)
- Jet POV of accident; surfacing to find Katara missing? Frantic search for her, but she's not in the car? Show how this scene went down and what happened, explore his feelings - and also the cause of the accident. Was it supernatural? A work of Azula to try to snatch Katara? Did Jet protect her after all? End with finding Katara and glowing water and such - she's fine, and clearly not herself again, and he's relieved but also terrified of what it could mean - that she's remembering
- Katara POV of entire accident, from the drive from Pakku's through the crash to terror of drowning to anger to fading into her alt-self
- Katara on the plane, mirror scene to opening one with Jet, except she's barely thinking of him. Her decision is made, she hates him, and now she's trying to remember, but she can't quite.
- Will talk of next steps of continuity after next page
Also, I want to see more of early-Merits Katara, who is frustrated and groaning and punching her pillow or whatever. Also, we need to establish where her memories were erased. She remembers nothing of her stay with Zuko - does she remember the dancing and being pursued by Long Feng? I think a good cut-off point might be when she almost falls asleep at the bus stop, and then half-remembering the next few days with Toph and Suki. I think she should then conclude that she was sick/feverish since she doesn't remember half that time, and then that would give her another reason to kick herself over agreeing to Jet's proposal.
“Hi, can I get either of you something to drink?”
“Sure, two coffees, please--.”
“Tea for me, actually.”
Jet froze a moment, maintaining his casual smile at the stewardess. “My mistake. Coffee for me, please, and a tea for--.”
“Milk and two sugars, please. Thank you,” Katara reached across her ex’s lap and accepted the steaming beverage gratefully.
“Thanks,” he said, and the stewardess, sensing the tension between the pair of attractive young people, smiled vapidly and moved on hastily to the next row of seats.
Jet blew lowly from his nose in anger, while Katara continued writing in her notebook, a few of Master Pakku’s texts on loan to her piled on the seat between herself and Jet.
“You’re ignoring me now? Is that it?”
“I have work to do, Jet. I’m already behind,” because of you, went unspoken, but was evident from her tone. Her eyes and pen never strayed from the page before her.
“We can still talk. I can help you with--.”
“No, thank you.”
“Later, I mean. When you finish your--.”
This time she raised her eyes to look at him, and their ice-blue depths were cold and hard.
“No, Jet. There is no talking. No apologizing.”
We’re through, her look clearly emphasized, and she glared at him momentarily longer before slowly turning back to work with renewed focus.
And her very deliberate action made him see red.
For a moment, Jet nearly thought he’d finally lose his temper with her, once and for all.
Couldn’t she see? Didn’t she understand? He railed internally, the fury boiling higher as it choked him. Everything he’d done, he’d done for Katara! He’d protected her from those chauvinistic males in her hometown, instilled a sense of respect in them so they respected her in return, promised to provide for her and the family they would build together, and this was how she treated him? After everything he’d done!
He seethed in recollection.
And who did she think of? Who did she want? Who had she thanked?
Not him, but--
The reminder of whose name she had murmured earlier in her delirium at the hospital nearly made him snap.
Ungrateful bitch!
The force of the epithet shook him inside, and he felt his jaw clenching tightly, his canines lengthening as the urge to shift and destroy something, anything, especially anything of value to her, nearly overwhelmed him there on the plane, 35, 000 feet in the air. She was his mate, his chosen one. She would never belong to another ever again, he swore it.
Calm down, calm down, his internal voice soothed, there’s still time.
Reflecting on what was still to come, he knew it was true.
There was still time.
So for now, he would just wait. She would come around soon enough.
Yes, he thought to himself, sipping his too-hot coffee, soon enough.
Beside him, Katara wrote on, completely unaware of her companion’s conspiracy.
(BR)
“You are always welcome back here, Katara,” the tall, rangy man swept her up in a bear hug as if she were still a little girl. Desperate for comfort, for the feeling that reminded her so much of family, of home, she held on tight to him in return, burying her face in his chest. He smelled like snow, conifer trees and cooking scents, and she clung to that sense of being grounded, that reality. It helped clear her confusion, her doubts, her…
Even as her senses were enveloped by the present, a half-remembered image flashed through her mind again-they kept coming at the most random times-of a sledge of furs being drawn to her tent, someone holding out a hand to be healed--.
A part of her, deep inside, suddenly tugged at the memory. As if it were reaching out to find… something. The longing thrummed through her, as if she was missing something vitally important. As if a part of her was lost and trying to find its way home, back to where it belonged.
She shook her head to clear it.
“I miss you already, Bato.”
“You take care of yourself on the trip home, ok?”
Katara’s smile was faint, forced, and he watched her casually as she faked her emotions.
He didn’t miss the stress that lined her young face, the dark circles under her eyes. She must still be having her nightmares. Daydreams. He refused to call them hallucinations.
Something was keeping her up at night, still, and it was taking its toll. She wasn’t the little girl he remembered anymore, had helped raise. She wouldn’t confide in him anymore, and he couldn’t make her. But at least he could let her know he would, if he could. If she needed family, he was there. He always would be.
“I will.”
He gave her a long, meaningful look. “I can see worry in your eyes, little one,” he said gravely, quietly, for her ears only. “All you need to do is call.”
Wavering slightly, she took a deep breath to steady her insides. “I know.”
He nodded, and walked her back to where Jet was waiting in line for their security check at the airport departure gate.
“You take care, too, Bato.”
He waited until they’d cleared security, cleared the gate, and walked across the icy tarmac to climb the stairs that would lead inside the plane.
It was only once they’d taxied and taken off that he turned away from the large, floor-to-ceiling windows and found his gaze meeting that of a wily, ancient shaman.
“Master Pakku,” he said respectfully, stretching out an arm in greeting.
“Bato, it’s been some time. I hear you’ll be coming to pay my door a visit soon.”
“Seems like.”
Their conversation died, neither wanting to broach the topic first.
But Pakku could only be silent for so long.
“It wasn’t him.”
“No,” agreed Bato. “But it is coming.”
“It is. And that boy, the wolf, is involved. But that wasn’t the one I was expecting.”
(BR)
“We’re going back tomorrow.”
“Where? To Master Pakku’s?” Jet turned to look at her in confusion. “Are you sure you’re ok to go back there, Katara? I really don’t think--.”
“To Ba Sing Se,” she said dully. “I re-arranged our flights. We can pack up tonight. The… Bato will take us in his truck, since we don’t have a vehicle anymore.”
Wariness spread across Jet’s features as he watched Katara leaning against the doorframe; she was still having some trouble moving around, but refused to actually sit. Pride, stubborn, pig-headed, pride, he was sure that was all that was keeping her upright.
Little did he know.
“Ok,” he said slowly.
“And Jet?”
His eyes widened.
“I’ll be staying at Bato’s tonight.”
Jet stilled.
“And what about me?”
“Do what you always do, Jet. Whatever you want. But I won’t be part of it anymore.”
His heart beat faster, harder, as anxiety at her insinuations set in.
“Katara, we can talk about--.”
“No, Jet. We can’t. I… I don’t want you to be part of my life anymore.”
“Katara, listen, we’re just having a rough patch, we’ll work things out. I know I’ve overstepped my bounds on a few things recently, but there’s been so much going on--.”
“’Overstepped your bounds’?” Katara asked softly, her shoulders tightening as she straightened up in the doorway. Her eyes blazed. She took a step inside. “’Overstepped your bounds!’”
Her fists shook.
“You call assaulting me in my sleep, when I’m pharmaceutically sedated, with the intention of controlling me like a dog and ruining my fucking life, ‘overstepping your bounds’!”
Jet was raising his hands to calm her as he strode to her, but heard the sound of rapid footsteps ascending the stairs and paused.
“Katara, is everything ok?”
She swallowed hard and forced her fists back down by her sides.
“Yes, Bato. Sorry, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“I’ll come help,” he replied, obviously not trusting her trembling voice. His tone brooked no argument.
The two young people looked at each other a moment longer, until they heard Bato crest the stairs and turn their way.
“It’s over, Jet,” Katara said quietly, and turned away.
“It’s over.”
Her feelings shimmered along the bond, and it reciprocated, like a warm, strong arm around her shoulders.
(BR)
They waited together, both in wheelchairs, at the front entrance lobby of the small hospital, as Bato pulled his truck around to meet them.
Patients, visitors, medics and a myriad of other employees milled around or walked straight past them; they pretended to ignore the two young adults, but whispers had been following Katara for days now. They knew who she was; and it didn’t take a genius to figure out she hadn’t come home for any form of happy reunion with her family. Her father hadn’t even shown up at the hospital to see her, which spawned even more gossip. Still, she had smiled and cooperated-most of the time-with her attending physicians while she’d been admitted. Mostly. There was the occasional intern or orderly who’d deserved the cussing out she’d given them…
She had held up a convincing front, for the most part-but she was sure there were at least a few nurses, those who’d been her friends or friends of her family since she was young, who could still read her well enough to know that all was not well on the home front, in particular with her self-appointed ‘fiancé’.
That gossip could be heard in bits and pieces as she and Jet waited, side by side, for Bato; Jet with his hand outstretched from the arm of his wheelchair to hers; she with her hands tucked neatly in her lap.
When Bato finally arrived to help them outside, the air that hit them as they exited the hospital was wickedly cold, and sharp. It was a fairly quiet ride home.
(BR)
Spirits alive, not that stupid story again, Katara thought to herself as she roused slightly from her sleep. Was it the third time that day she’d heard it? Fourth? Four hundredth? It felt like it.
Inside her, she felt a tightening of the cord, and she wondered again if it was a reflection of her own feelings, or someone else’s reaction to them. It fed her seething, at any rate.
“-yeah, we were really lucky the lights on the truck caught the paramedics’ attention,” Jet recounted to the nurse who was supposed to be checking her vitals. The uniformed woman seemed quite content to gaze, enraptured, at Jet’s face as he earnestly relayed the details of their ‘horrific accident’. Not that Katara remembered all the details herself, but she could probably re-tell Jet’s version-with his exact words and intonation-by memory at this point.
Ass, she thought to herself, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. Fought it hard.
“Well, to hear the ambulance techs tell it, you’d think that there was some kind of miracle!” gushed the nurse. Katara was pretty sure her name was Sandy. Or Cindy. Nancy?...
“That the northern lights were so bright above us, they led the way, huh?”
Oh, he’s rolling it on thicker than marzipan for this nurse, she thought to herself. Was her name Candy?
Her ‘connection’ thrummed inside her, and Katara gave a mental nod in thanks to the… presence’s confirmation.
“And to think your engine was still running enough to power the batteries for the headlights and things, oh, it was just something! The firemen who pulled you two from the water were amazed; they thought you’d been underwater for some time. No vitals at all, they said.”
She could hear the blasé smirk in Jet’s voice when he replied, “Well, we’re made of pretty tough stuff. It’d take more than that to stop us. We’re recently engaged, and we’ve started making plans to return to the Rez to settle down, actually, this summer…”
Katara glared outright at the pair chatting just off the end of her bed, (“Oh, that’s wonderful! How romantic!” exclaimed the nurse, and her shrill tone stabbed at Katara’s eardrums) but neither noticed the actual patient in the room.
--until she threw her bedpan at them and declared she really needed to take a shit, because something wasn’t sitting well with her.
It was most likely the pity and attention Jet was currying with the staff who were supposed to be taking care of her. (Not that she needed much attention at this point, mostly just observation to err on the side of caution, but it was a matter of principle.) With that, she threw her legs over the side of her bed and made for the small door that led to the only privacy she had.
“Is everything ok?” Jet asked her when she eventually hobbled out of the washroom.
“Just peachy,” she muttered. “Are my books here?”
“Of course not, you’re supposed to be resting--.”
“Why are you here?”
Jet stared at her, confused.
“Why are you here?” she repeated, irritated.
Uncrossing his arms slowly, Jet watched her carefully. “I’m here with you because I love you, Katara. Proposal, spending our lives together. Marriage, family. That whole ‘deal’. Remember?”
She scoffed.
His brow furrowed, visibly hurt by her dismissal. “Katara, what--.”
“Get out.” She lay back down on her side, her back to him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“What has gotten into you?”
She ignored him, and he stepped closer to her bed.
“Katara.”
Her back offered no answers, and he pressed on, feeling some irritation himself at her behaviour and lack of explanation.
“Katara,” he repeated more firmly.
“I know what you did. I remember, and I know what you did.”
Her voice was hollow, but there was more understanding in it than he’d ever heard in her words before. Not a pleasant kind of understanding, but rather a thorough, complete, dark comprehension of exactly what he’d been trying to do.
Her spirit was dark, and roiled around the cord; and it was faint, but there was a reflection of feeling along it that she held out for, that she needed. It came, and it felt like acceptance. She may still feel ashamed of herself, but the strange connection that now seemed to be part of her didn’t judge her, didn’t make her feel like a victim. It made her feel strong, like she would pull through as long as she held herself together. And it would help, wrapping itself around her again like a protective shield.
Jet watched her carefully, realization dawning.
She knew.
She knew what he was.
She knew what he’d done to her.
She wasn’t supposed to remember, but she did.
Jet felt the air leave him, his gut cave in as if he’d been punched. Quickly he shut the door to keep out the prying eyes and ears of the nursing staff.
“I can explain--.”
“Get. Out.”
“Katara--!”
“I said get out of here, Jet! I never want to see you again!”
“I was going to tell you, I swear,” he pleaded now, his voice tight, choked with emotion at the realizations that she knew. He had no idea how, other than perhaps it had to do with the accident, but she did. And hell if he wasn’t screwed right now because of it. This was not supposed to have come to light-not now, at least. “I’ve always been what I am, and I had planned on telling you-while we were here, actually, it’s just that I didn’t want to bother you while you had your school work and your family stuff, and--.”
“You just needed to rape me and bind me to you, first?”
“I need you, Katara, and it wasn’t right, but I was worried if I didn’t--.”
“What, Jet?”
“…”
“What would happen if you didn’t coerce me into…?”
A very pregnant pause, before Jet replied with his worst fear.
“… you… you might leave me.”
She laughed darkly.
“Backfire, Jet.”
The cord tightened almost possessively around her, and she tugged back in recognition. Someone or something was with her, supporting her.
She would make it.
(BR)
“Ms. Kuruk, we need you to cooperate,” sighed the radiologist over the intercom
“I am cooperating, you’re just being an ass.”
“I apologise if I am making you uncomfortable, but I am required to ask these questions. Now, is there any chance you could be pregnant? It’s a standard question.”
It didn’t help that he was right, and she knew it.
“No,” she lied, and her fist clenched tightly. She was alone in the room, no one but the tech would have heard her if she’d spoken the truth, but she still had a hard time admitting it to herself. How had she let herself be so…
Her heart panged and her throat closed off a second, but with the next heartbeat came a reassuring presence that filled and relaxed her, like someone standing alongside her and holding her hand.
It’s going to be all right, it seemed to try to relay. She could almost physically feel the light touch of lips to her forehead, calming her. Which was impossible, in the claustrophobic confines of the tube.
Swallowing and trying not to think too much about the implications of her… hallucinations… visiting her while she was undergoing her CAT Scan, Katara let out a low breath and, for the first time, reached out herself, mentally, to the silvery, sentient line that seemed to connect her to something else.
Thank you, she breathed.
(BR)
She may have woken from her coma, but she wasn’t entirely free of it.
At night, she seemed to be more vulnerable to her memories, and to the things that had transpired while she was… unaware.
Certain memories more than others.
(BR)
There it was again.
Katara left her eyes shut as she tried to open her senses up to the strange… feeling. It ebbed, flowed, and retreated.
Then ebbed, flowed, and retreated again.
It was… trying to get her attention?
Relaxing her breathing, she focused on the lingering pull that seemed to tug at her spirit. It was such a strange thing; she’d noticed it after the accident. More often than not, it felt like a cord that led away from her to… somewhere else. A connection. She hadn’t been able to figure out where, yet. But she would. She knew she would. Somehow, someway, she knew this for certain. It was there for a reason, she just needed to uncover it.
It stretched outward from her, invisible; sometimes, it almost felt like a cloak that shrouded her. At other times it felt thin, frail; and occasionally it had nearly vibrated in its intensity.
Jet hadn’t made any mention of it, so he hadn’t noticed it, or any change in her; and she couldn’t find any medical way to explain it. Though she had had it out with her nurses and attending physician when she’d first become aware of it.
“What do you mean you haven’t run a CT Scan yet?”
“There was no sign of serious trauma to the--.”
“Your definition of ‘serious’ and my definition of ‘serious’ are obviously divergent, Doctor,” she snapped, reviewing her own chart under his resigned supervision. The doctor at her bedside chewed the inside of his cheek at her derisive tone. His expression veered very clearly towards, So now the patient was the doctor? Fantastic, a back-seat driver.
“Now look at this, it says we were found without vitals - how long were we without vitals? We were underwater! Do I really need to explain to you what happens when a human being goes without oxygen? In winter? Under water!? Brain death, hypothermia, sound familiar? Get me a CT Scan, a visual acuity assessment, and for spirit’s sake some decent coffee. Also, I’ll be needing the results back from my most recent blood tests.”
“Anything else, doctor?” he asked blithely.
“Actually, yes,” Katara looked him in the eye, her gaze assessing. “A tooth brush. Hospitality may have one.”
“Yes, they may.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he threw his hands up in the air.
“All right, all right, we’ll get you a tooth brush.”
“And a CAT Scan!”
“And a CAT Scan…”
The doctor left as she huffed.
Ebb, flow…
Ebb, flow…
Ebb, flow… ripple?
Katara’s eyes widened.
Was this feeling… the cord… had she done something to… amuse it?
There were children laughing at the side of a lake, chasing and splashing each other in the shallows…
The scene changed, and she was now looking through the trees of a thick forest, the sounds of birds and wildlife surrounding her and her party of foragers. She’d joined them to collect more of the fresh herbs and flowers she needed for her altar. One of her companions called to her, laughing, and she turned to look at a woman with long, dark hair, almond-shaped eyes, and beads woven into her hair…
And then she was the one at the river bank in the sweltering summer heat, her arms lifted, her sleeveless tunic twisting, and shifting gracefully around her, calling and flowing with the water where she wanted it to go. A deep breath, a low exhale, and she’d created a perfect ice ramp for the children to slide on-into the water, with a tremendous splash. She laughed along with them, making a few more of different heights for them to play with, including a few small pucks for them to skim across the water. While she was a priestess, she was still a child at heart, sometimes, too.
When the next scene faded into focus, she felt male flesh mending together beneath her fingers, the healing glow spreading deeply into his tissues. Pale skin, dark hair, gold eyes stared back at her, piercing her, and she felt her breath catch. This man, who was--
Katara? Katara, are you there?
The voice broke softly through the scenes and while gentle, it demanded her attention.
You need to wake up soon, my love. We miss you.
Maybe later, she thought drowsily, wanting to return to the happiness she’d felt as she’d enjoyed the memories. She wanted most of all to return to that last one, to what she’d been about to remember. It drifted further out of reach, and she felt frustration, and strangely, longing, mounting within her.
There was a small sigh, and another attempt by the intruder.
Would you like to see your old home?
Yes! She replied cheerfully. Would the golden-eyed man be there? She’d hardly had a chance to look at him, but he seemed so… familiar… important to her.
And her summer dwelling, the light canopy, the altar, the offerings and beautiful fabrics that surrounded her rose to her senses. The smell of the incense, the feel of the pelts under her feet.
I’ve missed this, she smiled.
Are you ready to come back yet?
No, not yet, she replied.
What about your family?
Yes, please! Can you show them to me?
So he did, and her father, smiling gravely at her as he patted her hair, appeared before her, still in the summer camp. A group of hunters were returning with their catch, and he went to meet them so they could present their bounty, and she gave a small nod of welcome to the men.
But then the scene changed, and different people, an entirely different scene appeared.
Her heart beat harder at the unfamiliar familiarity that arose within her.
Who are these people? She looked at the petite, dark-haired woman; the two tall men, one pale, with tattoos, the other darker-skinned, with longer hair.
These are your family, too.
She swallowed, and her heart struggled to understand. She knew inside it was true, but it wasn’t making any sense. What about her family, her father, from her village?
They miss you, too, the voice said. They’re your family, too.
I don’t want to go back yet.
I know, he sighed sadly.
Who are you?
I’m waiting for you, he replied instead. I will always wait for you.
There was a pause, and the voice seemed to be further off. It’s coming time.
Next there came a tremor, and her peace and contentment started to fray at the seams.
What’s going on?
A bad feeling was closing in on her, and she mentally… reached… for him, instinctively seeking him out.
There was a flare of feeling around her at that, and she startled.
You’re getting there, he encouraged, proud of her. You’re almost there! You can do it!
I don’t like this, she admitted, suddenly feeling sharp, cold fingers snatching at her, dragging her away.
Focus, you’ll be ok. I’ll stay with you. I promise.
Who are you? She begged now, the tearing at her person frightening, terrifying her. She couldn’t see anything anymore, only feel.
You are needed where you are-but I’ll stay close.
Wait!
I promise I will be with you. Always, my love.
No!
There came a rushing, high-pitched wailing, and suddenly she was dropped from a very high place.
Her eyes flew open.
“Katara!”
“Ms. Kuruk!”
“Katara, my child, you’re awake!”
Completely disoriented, Katara stared around her.
The room swam starkly into focus.
White walls, thin bedding, green uniforms; a hospital room?
And then, expectant expressions on each of the faces that loomed over her.
She was the patient?
A pair of strong, warm arms suddenly embraced her, pulling her up against a firm chest where a heart beat wildly against her cheek. “You’re ok, you’re really ok! Oh thank god, thank god…”
A name surfaced. “Jet?...”
And then the strangest thing: though she couldn’t figure out why, she couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that crashed down upon her at the realization.
Tears streamed down Jet’s face as he rocked Katara back and forth, oblivious to her regret.
Even stranger still, though, was the slight hum and warmth that resonated from within her… outwards. Just saying hi, and welcome back, it seemed to casually imply. Then it faded into the background-or was pushed there, as she was swarmed by medical personnel, Jet, and Bato, too.
“What the Hell just happened?!” she demanded, looking wildly at those gathered around her. Had anyone else felt that… hum-thing?
“Oh, it’ll be ok now, honey,” shushed a nurse, completely misinterpreting her words.
“The fuck it will,” she muttered, --still unnerved by the ‘hum-thing’-- glaring at her. “And what are you doing?,” she snapped, coming back to herself and her medical instincts. “That pressure cuff needs to be a lot snugger if you want an accurate reading; you, over there by the drip, you can turn that thing off right now, get me some real food. And where the hell are my notes? I have work to do. I’m going to need a much sturdier side-table, and at least another lamp…”
“Oh, she’s definitely fine,” assured Jet as he smiled, relieved, at the perplexed medical staff.
“Is this a freaking bedpan under my ass!?”
“Juuuuuust fine,” repeated Jet. He was obviously on cloud nine, and simply ducked when she hurled the offending object out of the way.
“Somebody get me a coffee! And my research!”
And a psych assessment, maybe, if this hum-thing didn’t go away within the next 24-hours, she decided to herself. But she wasn’t going to share that concern just yet.
She felt a shiver go up her spine when the hum-thing seemed to… tingle at her in… was that, ‘anticipation’?
“What was in that stupid drip?!”
Still to review/add in:
- more examples of bond
- more examples of past that Katara remembers (w/ Jet, and in her past life)
- Jet POV of accident; surfacing to find Katara missing? Frantic search for her, but she's not in the car? Show how this scene went down and what happened, explore his feelings - and also the cause of the accident. Was it supernatural? A work of Azula to try to snatch Katara? Did Jet protect her after all? End with finding Katara and glowing water and such - she's fine, and clearly not herself again, and he's relieved but also terrified of what it could mean - that she's remembering
- Katara POV of entire accident, from the drive from Pakku's through the crash to terror of drowning to anger to fading into her alt-self
- Katara on the plane, mirror scene to opening one with Jet, except she's barely thinking of him. Her decision is made, she hates him, and now she's trying to remember, but she can't quite.
- Will talk of next steps of continuity after next page
Also, I want to see more of early-Merits Katara, who is frustrated and groaning and punching her pillow or whatever. Also, we need to establish where her memories were erased. She remembers nothing of her stay with Zuko - does she remember the dancing and being pursued by Long Feng? I think a good cut-off point might be when she almost falls asleep at the bus stop, and then half-remembering the next few days with Toph and Suki. I think she should then conclude that she was sick/feverish since she doesn't remember half that time, and then that would give her another reason to kick herself over agreeing to Jet's proposal.