Funky Mood Lately, and not the get down and boogie kind!
So I haven't updated in quite awhile. I guess its because I really didn't have a whole lot write about, things are pretty mellow I guess. School, work, and babysitting consume a lot time. I've been in a funky mood that past week or week and a half. I think it has something to do with my birthday coming up as well as my uncertainty within my major and in life. I'm doubting myself way too much right now. I feel as though I'm going to fail in life. I'm sure that I WON'T because I WANT to succeed in life and become successful with a career I love. None the less, I still feel lost, I'm second guessing myself, and even feeling like I'm really not that smart.
I honestly think it just has a lot to do with uncertainty in my life path right now. I times of great uncertainty I tend to break down I guess. It happened in high school, I was unhappy and down for the majority of the year, because I had no idea where I what I would be doing in college. Then again last spring semester when I was faced with making a quick decision about a major because of the stupid 3 semester registration. Now, there is uncertainty about what I'm going to be doing in my junior year of college. I had a revelation over the weekend, a sort of break down you could say, that I'm really not happy in my major. It’s a very interesting major, but all in all, I don't want to be a doctor! In essence that’s what an SLP is. I just can’t see myself choosing this as my career for the rest of my life. It isn’t the grad school work or anything like that. I don’t mind grad school, but I want it to be for something I love learning about and want to learn more and more about.
This sucks because now I'm facing the choice of taking big steps backwards to advance forward. I could be redoing general education courses to get into a new major, which really sucks. That and I'm not sure what major I want! The choices I've begun looking into are as follows: Special Education, Interpersonal Skills, Psychology (with a minor of coarse cause its useless otherwise), and Social Work. Right now I'm leaning towards social work. It incorporates a lot of the above majors as well as community involvement, helping children, and people with addictions. I don't know why social work didn't come to me until today, because as a junior in high school I was looking into social work with great interest. But I’m still not really sure.
So that is my predicament these days. I'm almost 20 years old, I live with my Mom, and I have NO idea what I want to do when I get out into the world on my own! Right now I need to focus on passing my Communicative Disorders classes with A's so I can still use it for a minor if I change majors and raise my GPA. The Communicative Disorders information is great knowledge for anyone in a profession working with people; especially children!
Ok enough venting on school and majors. On to an update of everything going on lately. I finally switched back to Build A Bear, and I'm much happier working now! Home is alright, my sisters are still driving me nuts, but what can you do?! I'm really looking forward to spring break! I'm looking forward to the break and to have some fun. I've been so busy with school, work, home, etc. that I haven't been doing very many fun things lately. Hopefully I'll head to West Palm with Paul for a couple of day, maybe get to catch up with Chris, Jason, Bobbi and Jennifer. Relax a bit and watch some Gilmore Girls without having to worrying about studying.
As always, Paul and I are doing great. We're almost at 6 months! It should be a good March, we have our 6th month, a Coldplay concert, spring break, and my birthday!!! So even though I'm in a funk now, once I figure some stuff out about school I should be just fine!
I honestly think it just has a lot to do with uncertainty in my life path right now. I times of great uncertainty I tend to break down I guess. It happened in high school, I was unhappy and down for the majority of the year, because I had no idea where I what I would be doing in college. Then again last spring semester when I was faced with making a quick decision about a major because of the stupid 3 semester registration. Now, there is uncertainty about what I'm going to be doing in my junior year of college. I had a revelation over the weekend, a sort of break down you could say, that I'm really not happy in my major. It’s a very interesting major, but all in all, I don't want to be a doctor! In essence that’s what an SLP is. I just can’t see myself choosing this as my career for the rest of my life. It isn’t the grad school work or anything like that. I don’t mind grad school, but I want it to be for something I love learning about and want to learn more and more about.
This sucks because now I'm facing the choice of taking big steps backwards to advance forward. I could be redoing general education courses to get into a new major, which really sucks. That and I'm not sure what major I want! The choices I've begun looking into are as follows: Special Education, Interpersonal Skills, Psychology (with a minor of coarse cause its useless otherwise), and Social Work. Right now I'm leaning towards social work. It incorporates a lot of the above majors as well as community involvement, helping children, and people with addictions. I don't know why social work didn't come to me until today, because as a junior in high school I was looking into social work with great interest. But I’m still not really sure.
So that is my predicament these days. I'm almost 20 years old, I live with my Mom, and I have NO idea what I want to do when I get out into the world on my own! Right now I need to focus on passing my Communicative Disorders classes with A's so I can still use it for a minor if I change majors and raise my GPA. The Communicative Disorders information is great knowledge for anyone in a profession working with people; especially children!
Ok enough venting on school and majors. On to an update of everything going on lately. I finally switched back to Build A Bear, and I'm much happier working now! Home is alright, my sisters are still driving me nuts, but what can you do?! I'm really looking forward to spring break! I'm looking forward to the break and to have some fun. I've been so busy with school, work, home, etc. that I haven't been doing very many fun things lately. Hopefully I'll head to West Palm with Paul for a couple of day, maybe get to catch up with Chris, Jason, Bobbi and Jennifer. Relax a bit and watch some Gilmore Girls without having to worrying about studying.
As always, Paul and I are doing great. We're almost at 6 months! It should be a good March, we have our 6th month, a Coldplay concert, spring break, and my birthday!!! So even though I'm in a funk now, once I figure some stuff out about school I should be just fine!