Desire Defying Destiny (3/?)
Title: Desire Defying Destiny (3/?)
Author: Bex81385
Pairing: Blair/Chuck
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2573
Spoilers: Everything up until 1x13 "The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate" after that anything’s game. I’m spoiler-free...
Summary: Blair deals with the repercussions of her actions.
Chapter Three: "You Broke Her Damn It, Now Fix Her!"
Spotted: B standing outside the doors of Tiffany & CO. Looks like our fallen "queen" has a case of "The Mean Reds". Don't worry B... Like they say "Nothing very bad could happen to you there."
Of course she had been lying to Serena all morning. After storming out of the Palace still so angry at Serena she could scream, she hesitated outside the restaurant door for a brief moment before her feet began to move, acting solely on autopilot.
It hadn’t taken her long to appear in front of Tiffany’s, considering it was really only a few minutes away from the hotel restaurant. She stood outside the door of one of her very favorite places and sighed contentedly. The khaki colored brick-walled store soothed her even if she hated the coloring. She turned her gaze up above the doorway towards the man holding the larger than necessary clock on his shoulders and jealously related to him. She knew how unpleasant it was to have that much weight on her shoulders, and wished for once that she was merely stone like him. She didn’t want to be capable to feel it crushing down upon her, pinning her beneath it all. Still, she relished in the feeling of being swallowed up by the massive door leading into a place she hoped would bring her an ounce of solace and clarity, even if for just a moment.
Pushing open the door, she smiled lightly at the gushing sound the wind made as it rushed out the door. Although she had long grown used to the many places in New York that most people would find extravagant, she was still immensely impressed with Tiffany’s. The large, spacious room was surrounded by the beautifully lined wooden display cases filled with exquisite baubles. The sight of it all still made her breath catch in her throat. Never had she seen a place so beautiful. She smiled politely as a sales associate acknowledged her, but didn’t approach her. She’d been here enough times for them to realize that Blair Waldorf would come to them if she wanted to be helped. She liked to look and take in the beauty without being pestered. Despite her love for the store, she browsed the cases half-heartedly lost in her thoughts.
She knew she was wallowing and moping around. She was tired of it but still maintained it was more than justified. She had lost her entire identity because of a momentary lapse of judgment. No, I didn’t lose it, it was taken away, she thought sadly to herself.
Looking back she realized that, in most part thanks to Nate, her downfall had been inevitable. He’d been doing nothing since Serena came back but making her feel small and unworthy of the attention she’d grown accustomed to after Serena left for boarding school. He’d been inattentive, not that he’d really ever been attentive when Serena was gone either, and at times cold and distant. He hadn’t even bothered to show up for her birthday. He wouldn’t say he loved her, but had no problem parting with the sentiment in Serena’s direction. He made it more than obvious that she would never measure up to his precious Serena. Worse though, was the fact that I let him, she thought as she paused briefly to glance at an Elsa Peretti® brooch that she thought was lovely.
Chuck had seen her for who she was, not who he wished she’d be. He had never wanted her to be her best friend. All he’d wanted was for Blair to be herself, and that’s exactly what he’d gotten. Blair was a schemer, she always had been, and at times when it had really bothered Nate, Chuck had never seen it as a negative thing. In fact, more than once he’d been her willing accomplice, ready to jump in and get dirty right alongside her. He was always ready to dive into the scandals with her and expose people for who they really where, if for no other reason than he cared about her.
She still felt chills run down her spine when she replayed the events from her birthday party. No one had ever looked at her the way Chuck did that night. No one had ever told her she was beautiful and actually meant it. It was obvious he’d meant it.
She supposed that’s why Chuck’s obvious avoidance and the way he’d spoken to her the week prior was still bothering her as severely as it was. She thought he was different, that he would always be there for her no matter what. She never intended for things to get as out of control as they did and she certainly never expected Chuck to abandon her after everyone else did too, regardless of what she had done to him.
Still, no matter what she had done, she was sure she didn’t deserve the things he said to her. Yes, she had treated him horribly, worse than Nate had been treating her prior to their breakup, but to tell her that she was basically worthless was beyond cruel. She sniffed slightly feeling tears well up in her eyes and the memory of that night in the Gilt replayed in her head. She had never heard his voice so cold and calculated, or at least she had never heard it that way when it was pointed towards her. She’d never seen him so cruel. She hoped she never would again.
Tired of feeling sorry for herself once again, she shook her head trying to clear the fog that always settled in while thinking of him. Once she had resolved to stop thinking about him, she stopped and focused on the jewelry case in front of her, only to be met with a butterfly. The Jean Schlumberger butterfly. On first glance, she thought it was pretty. She liked the way the pink tourmaline stood out against the amethyst and the diamond. The thirty thousand dollar price tag didn’t bother her a bit. What she hated about it, wasn’t it’s fault. She hated that it reminded her of Chuck.
She remembered telling him at her birthday party that he had to murder the butterflies he had developed. She sighed sadly. She had never meant to develop her own and now she wished he’d tell her how he did it so that she could murder hers.
Despite the connection to Chuck, or possibly because of the connection to Chuck, she was seriously considering purchasing the butterfly clip. She knew it was stupid to buy something that would so obviously upset her but she wanted it. Making up her mind to do so, she turned to call for an associate when her attention was pulled in a different direction. Laughter from the other side of the store caused her to glance in that direction and she quickly found herself wishing she hadn’t.
On the other side of the room, she spotted a group of her old friends, including Kati and Is, but they weren’t the ones that held her attention. That honor went specifically to Jenny Humphrey. Turning away from the clip, which was for the best considering her mother would have a fit when the bill came in and she didn’t need another reminder of Chuck, she immediately stormed in their direction.
Kati and Is noticed her first. They had been Blair’s friends for a long time and had been dead set against coming in here knowing this was "Blair’s Spot" but once Hazel had gotten that text from Gossip Girl she demanded they go in and look around, and they’d agreed after a few minutes of persistent insistence. "Blair." Kati said once Blair was standing in front of them.
"What are you doing in here?" Blair seethed. She could literally feel her blood boiling. They were ruining her intentions for being here. She had come here to get away, to fend off her "mean reds", not invite them for a shopping trip.
"Does it matter?" Hazel snapped. "The last time I checked I could shop in Tiffany’s if I pleased."
"This is my place." Blair said pissed that they had the nerve to be here.
Hazel nodded. "You’re right, and there was a time when that would mean something, but that time has passed. I’ll shop where ever I please and you won’t stop me."
Blair watched despondently as all her old friends just stood there clearly backing Hazel. She turned her attention to Jenny and glared. "Shouldn’t you be on the third floor?" She wanted desperately to say something regarding Jenny’s picture with Nate on Gossip Girl but she refused to let them see she was concerned by it one bit.
"Excuse me?" Jenny snapped.
"That’s where all the cheap stuff is. There’s nothing down here for the likes of you. In fact, I’m sure that bracelet you’re eyeing costs more than your entire loft is worth." she snarled before storming off. She turned around once more glancing in the direction of the butterfly clip before tears welled in her eyes. She exited the store hurriedly and didn’t stop moving until she was safely around the block. For the first time since she could remember, Tiffany’s had done nothing to expunge her "mean reds". In fact, if anything, it made them worse.
Spotted: B leaving Tiffany’s in tears. What’s the matter B, were they all out of dignity?
xoxo_xoxo_xoxo
It hadn’t taken long for Serena to make her way back up the suite her family was now sharing with the Bass’ after Blair was gone. Once she was through main door she wasted no time in seeking out Chuck. She found him laying on his bed, his iPod’s ear buds placed snugly in his ears, his eyes closed listening to the music. She reached down knowing he didn’t know she was there and yanked his ear buds right out.
"Hey!" he yelled before turning around to see it was Serena. "Oh, it’s you."
"Yes, it’s me." She snapped.
"What’s up, Sis? Come back for round two?" he asked her unnecessarily. He had been expecting this since he’d seen Blair downstairs. He hadn’t intended to simply turn back into the elevator when he saw her but the only other thing he wanted to do was go to her, and he wasn’t about to let that happen. Afterwards when he got the text from who he now liked to call "the Gossip bitch," he had grabbed his iPod and tried to tune out the memories of Blair.
Serena smirked slyly before placing her hands on her hips in a menacing fashion. "Yes actually, I did."
Chuck stood up and reached for his scarf. "Well that’s too bad, because I’m going out." he said after wrapping his scarf around his neck.
Serena reached out and grabbed the end of his scarf, a scarf she recognized as the one Blair had given him for Christmas even though they weren’t getting along so well then, as he passed, effectively halting his movements. She smiled pleasantly as she heard the slight gagging noise slip from his lips.
"What the hell, Serena!" he literally choked out.
"You have to stop avoiding her," she said forcefully refusing to release his scarf.
Chuck shook his head. "I have to do no such thing," he snapped yanking his scarf out of her hands
Serena sighed annoyed. "Do you really have to be so stubborn?" she demanded.
Chuck paused appearing to think about the question for a moment before responding. "Yes." he replied. His lips twitched into an "almost smile," which was the most pleasant expression he’d made all day.
"Was this thing you had with Blair worth all this, Chuck?" she asked snidely. "So you had a crush and it ended badly. It’s no reason to keep punishing her."
Chuck glared at her in a way he was sure made her uneasy. "You don’t know what you’re talking about." Whatever he and Blair had, it was more than a simple crush and he knew she knew that.
"Then explain it to me," she pressured. "Explain to me why whatever it is she did was worth all this."
Chuck started to tell her to ‘Leave him the hell alone’ when both of their phone’s chimed. They both flipped open their phones, knowing they were going to be met with a text message from Gossip Girl.
Serena sighed as she was met with a picture of Blair crying outside of Tiffany’s. She’d never seen Blair upset after a trip to Tiffany’s. "Do you see what you did?" she snapped angrily.
Chuck looked up from his phone defensively. "What I did? I had nothing to do with that! I was here being strangled by you, remember?"
Serena closed her phone angrily and shoved it back in her pocket. "You broke her damn it, now fix her!"
Chuck shook his head. The fact that he was now more worried about Blair than before wasn’t enough for him to give in, even if now was the sixty-third time today he wanted to call her. "Even if I could, I don’t want to," he lied. "She made her bed, I guess she’s just going to have to lie in it." He said before leaving the room.
Serena followed him hot on his heels. "Chuck!" she yelled.
Chuck turned around slowly. "Look Serena, I’m not responsible for Blair. If you want someone to fix her, you should go talk to Nate. That’s who she wants anyway. Perfect Nate to put the perfect pieces back together so they can have the perfect loveless relationship." he said bitterly.
Serena look at him confused by the bitter tone in his voice.
Chuck sighed. "I can’t be the one she turns to only when no one else will have her. I refuse to be that person." he told her truthfully. He knew she wanted to say something but she was cut off by the ringing of her phone. "That’s the princess now and she’s upset, you should probably talk to her." he said before leaving the suite.
Once he was in the elevator, he pulled his phone back out and glanced at the picture he’d just received. The picture of the weeping Waldorf taunted him. He hated seeing her this way. But he hated being used even more and he refused to let her do it to him again. He sighed and closed the phone again before dialing Nate. He knew he was going to get his voice mail, considering Nate wasn’t taking his calls anymore than he was taking Blair’s. Nate was making good on his promise to both of them. Once the voice mail picked up, he hung up.
Sighing once again he dialed Blair’s number but found that he couldn’t force himself to hit the call button. Berating himself for being a coward he angrily threw his phone against the elevator door. The loud crack as it shattered against the doors almost made him feel better. The doors opened almost instantly, as if the simple impact had been far more severe. He breezed out through the now open doors, not even bothering to pick up his shattered phone, with one word on his mind. Scotch.
Spotted: C leaving the Palace elevator and heading straight for the bar. Left behind, his broken phone shattered on the elevator floor. Guess someone other than S doesn’t like seeing B upset after all. You know you love me... XOXO... Gossip Girl...
Want to see the butterfly clip Blair was ogling? Go here ~~> The Butterfly Clip