Restless

[bewildered_am_i]

I want to flirt. Its been so long since I've let myself flirt and act outrageous around men. I've been so self conscious lately that I've tried to blend in with the crowd. I used to love being social, but lately I feel so damn boring. I don't hang out, I don't socialize, I don't date. These days I've been pretty reclusive, which was fine for a while, but now I'm going crazy. The problem is that I don't know anyone down here that I'd like to hang out with. All my friends were church friends, and now that I'm no longer with the church I'm at a complete loss. I'm sure that all my friends would hang out with me, but its difficult to sit and talk with them when I have to explain why I'm wearing earings or why I've cut my hair everytime we get together. It gets frustrating.

Anyway, I'm feeling restless. I really need to get out more. I want to be sexy again. Ugh, its been so long since I've felt desirable. My self-esteem is so shot.

Well, I'm off to find some action. Later.