Here I Go Again (Not On My Own)

[bewaretheides15]

As many of you have probably noticed, it has been freaking forever since I posted anything new. For reasons I will never understand, I'm going through a phase where my muse just can't seem to get it up. I've tried to work it out on my own (I seem to be able to write minibang ok, but even that's not a driving need) but it doesn't seem to be working

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[bewaretheides15]

Ok, maybe better to ease into it a little. This is the whole point of doing it by email, right, so he gets to put all of his thoughts out there in a clear, controlled way that won't run away with him once Jared's sitting there giving him the eyes. Well, that and the not actually having to see the eyes while he's doing it because oh god, if this goes wrong, if he were to look up and see anger or disgust or, worse, pity...

No, don't even go there. It's going to be fine. Whatever happens he and Jared will always be he and Jared. Just, you know, without Jensen having to walk around feeling like random proclamations of his undying love are about to burst out of his mouth the second he lets his guard down.

Alright, so. Jared, First let me say that I'm not expecting anything. This isn't an ultimatum or

Is it possible to say something's not an ultimatum without it sounding like an ultimatum?

Backspace, backspace, backspace.

Hey, fun story! I've been jacking off to your ass for five years!

Backspaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

I don't want to be a woman, but I'd kinda like to have your babies

Jensen mashes the backspace key hard enough that his fingertip goes white, not that he can see it with his forehead pressed forlornly against the computer screen.

(if you're really up to keep playing ...)

[dugindeep]

He flinches with the ding of his instant messenger service declaring he has a message, but he barely moves away. He figures his stupidity is punishable by the strain of crossing his eyes to read the new window that pops up.

JayPee: You around?

Shit, shit, shit. Jensen leans back and frames the keyboard with poised fingers that won't work. He thinks up a thousand ways to blow Jared off, but all that does is put the words blow and Jared too close together in his mind. He decides to go simple.

Jensonian: Yeah

JayPee: Whatcha up to?

Oh, just writing you love letters, Jensen thinks, but doesn't dare to type.

Re: (if you're really up to keep playing ...)

[stillastranger]

Eee I love this!