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Yesterday was not a good day. I'm not sure why, whether lack of sleep or PMS or combination of the two, but I was just an anxiety-fueled stress ball basically from the minute I woke up until I got in bed.
Going to my writing group helped-- it usually does, getting out of my brain for awhile-- but I couldn't even be as productive as I wanted to be, just ended up rereading prior chapters of 1000 pages-- which was good, bc I caught a few inconsistencies that needed ironing out, but bad in that at the end of 3 hours I only had a few hundred words to show for my time.
Still feeling overwhelmed today, though not as bad. I took all my supplements plus my melatonin before I went to bed, so I slept great, thank God. That always has the ability to put a good spin on the day, lol. I keep thinking of that thing I keep seeing on Tumblr, about how procrastinators are so anxious about completing tasks because it's tied to their self worth, so they get an adrenaline high off of giving themselves the freedom not to worry about them... it's so applicable to my life, it almost makes me sick to read it.
Everything I'm panicking about right now is money related. It sucks. Money, I mean. I know that in a month or two things will be fine because I'll be going permanent at my job, so i'll be making a lot more than I am now (because Jesus, temp agencies take a HUGE cut) it's just hard to deal with now, especially when I have so much social shit going on. BFF's birthday next weekend, the big conference for my work the following weekend, my 30th birthday the weekend after that... Needless to say I'll be eating beans for the next few weeks so I can afford all the booze I'll be drinking, lol.
Anyway, point being that yesterday was not good, today is marginally better but still not fantastic, and if anyone has any good long fics to rec me so I have something to dive into to help me calm down, I'd appreciate them. :D Star Trek, X-Men, Pacific Rim, SGA, Merlin, whatever you got, really. Thanks in advance. XD
Also, it is freezing in this office. The other assistant told me that my predecessor spent all last winter sitting here in a Snuggie. I doubt I could ever bring myself to spend money on one of those, but a mini space heater is definitely happening. And maybe some gloves. *brrs*
...Time for some tea. :D
This post crossposted from Dreamwidth (
comments)
Going to my writing group helped-- it usually does, getting out of my brain for awhile-- but I couldn't even be as productive as I wanted to be, just ended up rereading prior chapters of 1000 pages-- which was good, bc I caught a few inconsistencies that needed ironing out, but bad in that at the end of 3 hours I only had a few hundred words to show for my time.
Still feeling overwhelmed today, though not as bad. I took all my supplements plus my melatonin before I went to bed, so I slept great, thank God. That always has the ability to put a good spin on the day, lol. I keep thinking of that thing I keep seeing on Tumblr, about how procrastinators are so anxious about completing tasks because it's tied to their self worth, so they get an adrenaline high off of giving themselves the freedom not to worry about them... it's so applicable to my life, it almost makes me sick to read it.
Everything I'm panicking about right now is money related. It sucks. Money, I mean. I know that in a month or two things will be fine because I'll be going permanent at my job, so i'll be making a lot more than I am now (because Jesus, temp agencies take a HUGE cut) it's just hard to deal with now, especially when I have so much social shit going on. BFF's birthday next weekend, the big conference for my work the following weekend, my 30th birthday the weekend after that... Needless to say I'll be eating beans for the next few weeks so I can afford all the booze I'll be drinking, lol.
Anyway, point being that yesterday was not good, today is marginally better but still not fantastic, and if anyone has any good long fics to rec me so I have something to dive into to help me calm down, I'd appreciate them. :D Star Trek, X-Men, Pacific Rim, SGA, Merlin, whatever you got, really. Thanks in advance. XD
Also, it is freezing in this office. The other assistant told me that my predecessor spent all last winter sitting here in a Snuggie. I doubt I could ever bring myself to spend money on one of those, but a mini space heater is definitely happening. And maybe some gloves. *brrs*
...Time for some tea. :D
This post crossposted from Dreamwidth (
comments)