(no subject)
I haven't been posting a lot lately. In kid news: Lorenz does slo-mo donuts, and Nico is drawing a lot, but hates (HATES) homework, because it's busy work.
We still have no mommy/kid friends. :/ No fun. My condition helps no one.
Here's what I wrote to a trusted friend:
I actually haven't been able to uses the sling and the back carrier as much as I would like because the pain of just standing/walking is so intense!
Liz mentioned to me that you had sciatica, and from what I've researched online, it looks like that's where this investigation is going. It's not joint pain. I have joint issues (cheerleading, overstretched joints in one knee.... i know! who would have thought?) already, this trumps that... trumps it by yards!
I really don't want to go to a chiropractor, because: a) they're not MD's and b) all but 2 of the people I know who have gone to them now go on a regular basis! That just reeks of quackitude to me! Possibly intentional, to garner repeat business. I really don't want to go there. I can't go to pain management (pill pushers mostly), because of the breastfeeding, which I'm not willing to give up. I can go to a psychotherapist or psyciatrist, but it seems silly without addressing the underlying issues (sleep and pain).
With the joint thing I could just avoid high impact activity, or limit it and I was in the clear. It would only act up a few times a year, still does, only a few times a year. not often enough to make it worth surgery or anything so rash. Hiking instead of running, dancing in different manners than I otherwise would, etc. Knee pain was really nothing I couldn't deal with.
Now with this, seriously, it's not a matter of when it hurts, it's a matter of degrees... how much... I really think, after talking to my OB, that this along with my lack of sleep, may be the reason for my recent depression. After walking 2 miles with Nico the other day, with a break in the middle, my entire left leg was numb, pin and needles style! This is not normal for me or OK. I only started driving this past September and have had limited access to the car, so it's not like walking is foreign. The first time it happened, my leg collapsed out from under me (luckily when i had counters on either side of me on which to support myself with my arms) right after I got out of bed and took a few steps.
At this point I can push through it (see example of 2 mile walk), but it's not normal for ME. Walking 5 miles in a day used to be nothing, and now that kind of thing seems impossible. And all the while I feel like this sounds like an excuse. I hate writing it, because it sounds like a pathetic attempt to stay home and stay fat. I hate this. I hate being a prisoner in my own house, and I don't know why I feel safe writing all of this to you, but I do. And I love you, and thank you for reading this far if you did. And there you have it.
Hopefully tomorrow I won't feel like ramming the car into a tree.
We still have no mommy/kid friends. :/ No fun. My condition helps no one.
Here's what I wrote to a trusted friend:
I actually haven't been able to uses the sling and the back carrier as much as I would like because the pain of just standing/walking is so intense!
Liz mentioned to me that you had sciatica, and from what I've researched online, it looks like that's where this investigation is going. It's not joint pain. I have joint issues (cheerleading, overstretched joints in one knee.... i know! who would have thought?) already, this trumps that... trumps it by yards!
I really don't want to go to a chiropractor, because: a) they're not MD's and b) all but 2 of the people I know who have gone to them now go on a regular basis! That just reeks of quackitude to me! Possibly intentional, to garner repeat business. I really don't want to go there. I can't go to pain management (pill pushers mostly), because of the breastfeeding, which I'm not willing to give up. I can go to a psychotherapist or psyciatrist, but it seems silly without addressing the underlying issues (sleep and pain).
With the joint thing I could just avoid high impact activity, or limit it and I was in the clear. It would only act up a few times a year, still does, only a few times a year. not often enough to make it worth surgery or anything so rash. Hiking instead of running, dancing in different manners than I otherwise would, etc. Knee pain was really nothing I couldn't deal with.
Now with this, seriously, it's not a matter of when it hurts, it's a matter of degrees... how much... I really think, after talking to my OB, that this along with my lack of sleep, may be the reason for my recent depression. After walking 2 miles with Nico the other day, with a break in the middle, my entire left leg was numb, pin and needles style! This is not normal for me or OK. I only started driving this past September and have had limited access to the car, so it's not like walking is foreign. The first time it happened, my leg collapsed out from under me (luckily when i had counters on either side of me on which to support myself with my arms) right after I got out of bed and took a few steps.
At this point I can push through it (see example of 2 mile walk), but it's not normal for ME. Walking 5 miles in a day used to be nothing, and now that kind of thing seems impossible. And all the while I feel like this sounds like an excuse. I hate writing it, because it sounds like a pathetic attempt to stay home and stay fat. I hate this. I hate being a prisoner in my own house, and I don't know why I feel safe writing all of this to you, but I do. And I love you, and thank you for reading this far if you did. And there you have it.
Hopefully tomorrow I won't feel like ramming the car into a tree.