Without You; a H50 fanfic
Title: Without You
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Characters/Pairing: team fic, Steve/Kono if you squint
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,334
Warning: Major character death.
Notes: Coda to 2.23. Slight AU
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, etc.
Summary: Nothing could prepare any of them for this.
A/N: I wrote this oneshot immediately after the finale but hesitated posting it for the longest time. Besides needing a lot of work, I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it. The only reason it's here now is because of the support of my great friend and beta, sylvanelfqueen. If it wasn't for you, this would never have seen the light of day. Thank you for everything. It really does mean the world to me. This is also my first H50 fic so please let me know what you think. :)
------
He doesn't know how long he stands there, watching the scene in front of him unfold. He should feel... something, but it’s as if he can’t quite comprehend what he’s seeing. He vaguely registers Chin crying out and rushing towards the shoreline, an unusually calm Danny trying to hold him back. But Steve just stands there, lost for words, unable to move a muscle, staring out into the ocean as they pull the lifeless body ashore.
As her face comes into full view, Chin lets out a strangled sob and collapses down into the sand. Danny rubs his hand over his face, wiping away the tears that have started to fall, too stunned to offer Chin any words of comfort.
Steve notices that there’s a crowd gathering on the beach, unfamiliar faces trying to see what’s happening. The cops have set up a perimeter to keep everyone back. Suddenly, something in Steve snaps. He realizes that it's Kono - his teammate, his friend, his ohana - and he sprints to where her body has been laid on the sand. He drops down beside her and struggles to catch his breath.
He remembers the first time he saw Kono. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the ocean was perfect for surfing. He watched, along with Danny and Chin, as a young woman rode the waves with a grace and elegance he had never seen before. However, her ride was cut short and they all watched her march out of the ocean with her board in her hands. She jammed the board in the sand and walked straight towards the unsuspecting tourist who ruined her wave and punched him right in the face. Steve remembers Chin just laughing as he and Danny stood there in shock. When she noticed Chin she ran up to meet her cousin with the biggest smile on her face.
But now Steve knows he’ll never look at the once beautiful ocean the same way. He briefly wonders if this is what having his heart ripped out of his chest would feel like. It must be. The only other times he felt pain anywhere near this was the day he heard a knock on the door of his family’s home when he was just fifteen years old, the day his life changed forever, and then years later the day he heard the sound of the gunshot that took his father’s life.
As he leans forward, he begins brushing the wet hair off her face and tucks it behind her ears. "Kono, please," he begs. "Please. You can't - you can’t leave us."
He receives no response, but he doesn't stop. After minutes of hopeless pleading, he puts one hand under her head and slides the other under her knees. He lifts her motionless body off the sand and clutches it close to his chest, rocking back and forth. The darkness of the night only plunges him further into his own despair.
Danny notices his partner gripping Kono tightly and slowly makes his way towards Steve.
"Steve," he says quietly. When he receives no response he says his partner's name again, a little louder this time. “Steve.”
Steve glances up at him but he doesn't put Kono down. Danny sees the pain etched in Steve's features, something he normally doesn’t see there, and he’s taken aback for a moment. Usually it’s hard for any of them to get a read on Steve; he’s very good at keeping his emotions in check and keeping his mind on the task in front of him, thanks to his years of training with the Navy. But that’s not the case tonight, and Danny sees the struggle on Steve’s face as he clutches their friend close to his chest.
"Steve, there's nothing you can do," he says, not unkindly, but Danny knows he won’t be able to stand there much longer. The sight in front of him is pure torture. Their rookie is gone and the realization of all the things she’ll miss flood into his mind. Never again will she bound into HQ, a bright smile on her face on a Monday morning, ready to get to work. She’ll never tease him again for his extreme dislike of anything pineapple-related or the fact that he lets Steve drive his car everywhere. And he’ll never witness her take another suspect down just for looking at her the wrong way, even though she knew she never had to prove herself to the guys. He can’t think about the loss any longer so instead he focuses back on Steve. He places his hand on Steve's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "Come on, we should get Chin home."
"Danny, I -" Steve begins, the words getting caught in his throat. He stops for a minute, takes a deep breath, and starts again. "I can't put her down, I can't leave her here. I told her - ” he chokes out, “I told her I'd always protect her.”
"I know, babe," Danny whispers, tears once again gathering in his eyes. He grasps Steve's shoulder more firmly this time, his eyes silently pleading with Steve. This wasn't doing any of them any good. “I know.”
It’s then that they both notice Max approaching them, the Medical Examiner’s van parked at the edge of the beach. As he gets closer to the scene, Steve grips Kono’s body more tightly to his chest, a weight sinking further into the pit of his stomach. Danny waits, hand still resting on Steve, unsure of what to do.
Max stops a foot away from them and gazes down at Steve. “I’ll take her from here, Commander,” he says comfortingly. Steve doesn’t respond, but Max and Danny both notice the tears finally spill over and run down Steve’s face. He is silently breaking in front of them. They wait for him to do something but he just sits there in the sand with Kono’s unmoving body still flush against his chest. Danny takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to compose himself, masking the emotion in his voice. “Steve... let Max take care of her now.”
Steve remains motionless for a moment and then nods solemnly, slowly lowering Kono back down to the sand, even though every bone in his body is fighting it. He doesn’t want to leave her here, he can’t, but he knows he has to. The breeze off the ocean blows a few strands of hair into Kono’s face and Steve once again tucks them behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Kono. I’m so sorry,” he chokes out. He leans down and lightly kisses her forehead.
It takes everything out of him to stand up, but Danny is right there by his side. He grasps Steve’s arm and helps him to his feet. Reluctantly, both men turn away from their friend and teammate lying lifeless in the sand. They try to compose themselves as they head back towards Chin, using each other for the support they so desperately need.
They approach the spot in the sand where Chin still sits slumped over, hands covering his face, body shaking with silent sobs. Without saying anything, Steve moves to one side of Chin and Danny the other. They both place a hand on one shoulder so he’s aware of their presence and give him a moment to collect himself before gently pulling him up from the sand. Chin looks at each of them in turn and they see their own grief reflected back in his face.
Without saying anything, and not needing to, all three men slowly start making their way back to where they parked their cars, but Chin stops when they reach the line where the pavement meets the sand. He turns around and glances back to where Kono’s body still rests in the sand. “A hui hou kakou, Cousin,” Chin whispers. “Until we meet again.”
Tonight they lost the light and life of Five-0 and they all know nothing will ever be the same.
-end-
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Characters/Pairing: team fic, Steve/Kono if you squint
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,334
Warning: Major character death.
Notes: Coda to 2.23. Slight AU
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, etc.
Summary: Nothing could prepare any of them for this.
A/N: I wrote this oneshot immediately after the finale but hesitated posting it for the longest time. Besides needing a lot of work, I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it. The only reason it's here now is because of the support of my great friend and beta, sylvanelfqueen. If it wasn't for you, this would never have seen the light of day. Thank you for everything. It really does mean the world to me. This is also my first H50 fic so please let me know what you think. :)
------
He doesn't know how long he stands there, watching the scene in front of him unfold. He should feel... something, but it’s as if he can’t quite comprehend what he’s seeing. He vaguely registers Chin crying out and rushing towards the shoreline, an unusually calm Danny trying to hold him back. But Steve just stands there, lost for words, unable to move a muscle, staring out into the ocean as they pull the lifeless body ashore.
As her face comes into full view, Chin lets out a strangled sob and collapses down into the sand. Danny rubs his hand over his face, wiping away the tears that have started to fall, too stunned to offer Chin any words of comfort.
Steve notices that there’s a crowd gathering on the beach, unfamiliar faces trying to see what’s happening. The cops have set up a perimeter to keep everyone back. Suddenly, something in Steve snaps. He realizes that it's Kono - his teammate, his friend, his ohana - and he sprints to where her body has been laid on the sand. He drops down beside her and struggles to catch his breath.
He remembers the first time he saw Kono. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the ocean was perfect for surfing. He watched, along with Danny and Chin, as a young woman rode the waves with a grace and elegance he had never seen before. However, her ride was cut short and they all watched her march out of the ocean with her board in her hands. She jammed the board in the sand and walked straight towards the unsuspecting tourist who ruined her wave and punched him right in the face. Steve remembers Chin just laughing as he and Danny stood there in shock. When she noticed Chin she ran up to meet her cousin with the biggest smile on her face.
But now Steve knows he’ll never look at the once beautiful ocean the same way. He briefly wonders if this is what having his heart ripped out of his chest would feel like. It must be. The only other times he felt pain anywhere near this was the day he heard a knock on the door of his family’s home when he was just fifteen years old, the day his life changed forever, and then years later the day he heard the sound of the gunshot that took his father’s life.
As he leans forward, he begins brushing the wet hair off her face and tucks it behind her ears. "Kono, please," he begs. "Please. You can't - you can’t leave us."
He receives no response, but he doesn't stop. After minutes of hopeless pleading, he puts one hand under her head and slides the other under her knees. He lifts her motionless body off the sand and clutches it close to his chest, rocking back and forth. The darkness of the night only plunges him further into his own despair.
Danny notices his partner gripping Kono tightly and slowly makes his way towards Steve.
"Steve," he says quietly. When he receives no response he says his partner's name again, a little louder this time. “Steve.”
Steve glances up at him but he doesn't put Kono down. Danny sees the pain etched in Steve's features, something he normally doesn’t see there, and he’s taken aback for a moment. Usually it’s hard for any of them to get a read on Steve; he’s very good at keeping his emotions in check and keeping his mind on the task in front of him, thanks to his years of training with the Navy. But that’s not the case tonight, and Danny sees the struggle on Steve’s face as he clutches their friend close to his chest.
"Steve, there's nothing you can do," he says, not unkindly, but Danny knows he won’t be able to stand there much longer. The sight in front of him is pure torture. Their rookie is gone and the realization of all the things she’ll miss flood into his mind. Never again will she bound into HQ, a bright smile on her face on a Monday morning, ready to get to work. She’ll never tease him again for his extreme dislike of anything pineapple-related or the fact that he lets Steve drive his car everywhere. And he’ll never witness her take another suspect down just for looking at her the wrong way, even though she knew she never had to prove herself to the guys. He can’t think about the loss any longer so instead he focuses back on Steve. He places his hand on Steve's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "Come on, we should get Chin home."
"Danny, I -" Steve begins, the words getting caught in his throat. He stops for a minute, takes a deep breath, and starts again. "I can't put her down, I can't leave her here. I told her - ” he chokes out, “I told her I'd always protect her.”
"I know, babe," Danny whispers, tears once again gathering in his eyes. He grasps Steve's shoulder more firmly this time, his eyes silently pleading with Steve. This wasn't doing any of them any good. “I know.”
It’s then that they both notice Max approaching them, the Medical Examiner’s van parked at the edge of the beach. As he gets closer to the scene, Steve grips Kono’s body more tightly to his chest, a weight sinking further into the pit of his stomach. Danny waits, hand still resting on Steve, unsure of what to do.
Max stops a foot away from them and gazes down at Steve. “I’ll take her from here, Commander,” he says comfortingly. Steve doesn’t respond, but Max and Danny both notice the tears finally spill over and run down Steve’s face. He is silently breaking in front of them. They wait for him to do something but he just sits there in the sand with Kono’s unmoving body still flush against his chest. Danny takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to compose himself, masking the emotion in his voice. “Steve... let Max take care of her now.”
Steve remains motionless for a moment and then nods solemnly, slowly lowering Kono back down to the sand, even though every bone in his body is fighting it. He doesn’t want to leave her here, he can’t, but he knows he has to. The breeze off the ocean blows a few strands of hair into Kono’s face and Steve once again tucks them behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Kono. I’m so sorry,” he chokes out. He leans down and lightly kisses her forehead.
It takes everything out of him to stand up, but Danny is right there by his side. He grasps Steve’s arm and helps him to his feet. Reluctantly, both men turn away from their friend and teammate lying lifeless in the sand. They try to compose themselves as they head back towards Chin, using each other for the support they so desperately need.
They approach the spot in the sand where Chin still sits slumped over, hands covering his face, body shaking with silent sobs. Without saying anything, Steve moves to one side of Chin and Danny the other. They both place a hand on one shoulder so he’s aware of their presence and give him a moment to collect himself before gently pulling him up from the sand. Chin looks at each of them in turn and they see their own grief reflected back in his face.
Without saying anything, and not needing to, all three men slowly start making their way back to where they parked their cars, but Chin stops when they reach the line where the pavement meets the sand. He turns around and glances back to where Kono’s body still rests in the sand. “A hui hou kakou, Cousin,” Chin whispers. “Until we meet again.”
Tonight they lost the light and life of Five-0 and they all know nothing will ever be the same.
-end-