I don't have enough self confidence in myself to believe my friends genuinely like me
Right now, my self confidence is really low.
So, there was this situation, where I found out something, that apparently I wasn't supposed to know. Then I found out that another friend of mine was told this information and was told not to tell me, and apparently it was this whole issue that I knew. My friend kept saying "I can't tell you how I found out". I'm not fucking stupid, she told her, and told her not to tell me.
I find it so insulting that after a whole year of being friends with these people, they still won't confide in me equally. It makes me feel like none of my friendships this year are genuine. How many real friends do I have?
So, this girl, the one that got mad because I found out her 'secret', sometimes is all affectionate, and kissy kissy, saying 'I love you' and 'you're the best' and all that crap. But then she finds out that I know stuff, and she's mad. It just makes the whole friendship seem kinda fake to me.
The thing is, it's the end of the year, and I've graduated, so it really doesn't make any sense for me to be upset about this. I should just move on, as she's going back home to Montreal, and I'm here. It's just really hard for me, because it hurts my feelings that I'm left out. Is it worth bringing up when she comes back to visit, or should I just let it go?
With everything I've gone through, I have trouble believing friends when they tell me they love me, and will miss me. To me, it feels like they're saying it simply because school's over, not because it's true. The same thing goes for when people tell me I'm pretty. I just don't believe it. I feel like they're only saying it because I'm right there, so they have to. I think this is something I'm going to be struggling with for a long time.
So, there was this situation, where I found out something, that apparently I wasn't supposed to know. Then I found out that another friend of mine was told this information and was told not to tell me, and apparently it was this whole issue that I knew. My friend kept saying "I can't tell you how I found out". I'm not fucking stupid, she told her, and told her not to tell me.
I find it so insulting that after a whole year of being friends with these people, they still won't confide in me equally. It makes me feel like none of my friendships this year are genuine. How many real friends do I have?
So, this girl, the one that got mad because I found out her 'secret', sometimes is all affectionate, and kissy kissy, saying 'I love you' and 'you're the best' and all that crap. But then she finds out that I know stuff, and she's mad. It just makes the whole friendship seem kinda fake to me.
The thing is, it's the end of the year, and I've graduated, so it really doesn't make any sense for me to be upset about this. I should just move on, as she's going back home to Montreal, and I'm here. It's just really hard for me, because it hurts my feelings that I'm left out. Is it worth bringing up when she comes back to visit, or should I just let it go?
With everything I've gone through, I have trouble believing friends when they tell me they love me, and will miss me. To me, it feels like they're saying it simply because school's over, not because it's true. The same thing goes for when people tell me I'm pretty. I just don't believe it. I feel like they're only saying it because I'm right there, so they have to. I think this is something I'm going to be struggling with for a long time.