20
so my 20th birthday is tomorrow. and its pretty much gonna suck. my car is broken still and i wont get a new one until at least a week from now. i have one friend that wants to spend it with me. and i cant even see the person that i pretty much care about more than anything because he is too far. but i get to see my pregnant sister and that will make up for much of the downfalls. i just wish that more people genuinely cared. especially since i genuinely care about so many people. i suppose wanting to give up my time and always wanting to help people that make them happy is a curse as well as a blessing. you just have to learn to recognize the people that are truly going to appreciate all the effort you put in. its funny because the entry was really supposed to a more "woe is me", venting type of thing more than anything else. but as i wrote it i really started to realize what i need to do and it became a sort of learning experience in 5 minutes. its strange to think that i'm no longer gonna be a teenager. it kind of freaks me out. as much as i want to be independent and out on my own, i think in the back of my mind i never really wanted to grow up. and here it is, 20 years of life. 20 years of battles and memories, good times and bad. 20 years of becoming the woman, not girl, that i am today. so here's to 20 more.