(no subject)
I talked to Jeremy last night. He said to me "What's going on, why do you sound so down?" I have not heard that in such a long time. I just proves that he is the one person who really knows me. He's a really good listener.I have never had anyone like him.And yes, even though he drives me crazy lots, he's still the one person I call when I need someone to talk to.
Im feeling pretty alone right now. My mother and I are fighting pretty bad, my dad hasn't said much to me because he dosen't like it when my mom gets so upset. Erin's going through so much shit with Andy and her mom, all we're good for is major bitch sessions during nap time.
Matts been so detached from us lately. He is so consumed with having a cough and losing his voice, that not once in the past week has he said "How was work, How's you sleep last night?" All he's said is "I love you", which is sort of becomming a default. I really need someone who is going to give themselves to this relationship. Not someone who is giving themselves to themselves. Tom also said that when you lose your voice for more than a few days it's bad. He said this is probably cause for some concearn. So now I scared that something is seriously wrong, and if somethong is seriously wrong, than I feel really guilty. There are people in this world who are dying of cancer, and they love everyone so much and they ignore their problem, why is it that Matt cannot put aside the fact that he has a cough for five minutes. He says he feels fine, just his throat is scratchy, so if thats the case, then what is the problem that he cannot love anyone but himself the way he always has? And if it's more than just a scratchy throat, then he's lying, and then I am more pissed. Matt is all I have, and when I don't have hime, I don't have anyone!
Im feeling pretty alone right now. My mother and I are fighting pretty bad, my dad hasn't said much to me because he dosen't like it when my mom gets so upset. Erin's going through so much shit with Andy and her mom, all we're good for is major bitch sessions during nap time.
Matts been so detached from us lately. He is so consumed with having a cough and losing his voice, that not once in the past week has he said "How was work, How's you sleep last night?" All he's said is "I love you", which is sort of becomming a default. I really need someone who is going to give themselves to this relationship. Not someone who is giving themselves to themselves. Tom also said that when you lose your voice for more than a few days it's bad. He said this is probably cause for some concearn. So now I scared that something is seriously wrong, and if somethong is seriously wrong, than I feel really guilty. There are people in this world who are dying of cancer, and they love everyone so much and they ignore their problem, why is it that Matt cannot put aside the fact that he has a cough for five minutes. He says he feels fine, just his throat is scratchy, so if thats the case, then what is the problem that he cannot love anyone but himself the way he always has? And if it's more than just a scratchy throat, then he's lying, and then I am more pissed. Matt is all I have, and when I don't have hime, I don't have anyone!