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Mar 17, 2006 13:35

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jgray78 March 17 2006, 11:22:33 UTC
What exactly do you miss about the 'ham?

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bethraggs March 17 2006, 12:34:00 UTC
well, most of all i miss the mentality of the south. the encouraging, charming nature of most people there. mostly, people in this city are competitive and aggresive. not all people, of course, in either place are this way.

i miss my friends, my family, my dog. i miss the weather. i miss the hills. i miss southside. i miss SPACE!!!! i don't know what i was thinking moving here being claustrophobic.

i don't feel inspired here.

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jgray78 March 17 2006, 12:44:34 UTC
Not having lived outside of the ham, it's hard for me to understand you and melanie wanting to return. My brother lived in Baltimore and hated it so much he came back here. Of course, he was homeless and hooked on crack at the time.

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bethraggs March 17 2006, 12:53:55 UTC
yeah, you don't realize how cool the 'ham is until you leave it.

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kaddidle March 17 2006, 14:18:13 UTC
I'd welcome you back. No reason not to have a change in scenery every year or so.

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bethraggs March 17 2006, 14:49:34 UTC
i've been weighing the pros and cons all day.

pros:
abe would let me live with him rent free
i would have plenty of space and more time to persue the art i want to create
i would be able to see my friends!!!!!!
i would be able to visit my sick grandparents. they're both not doing to well right now..
i would be able to work some with amy and get to see Lil a lot
trees
bike rides
love
life

cons:
elizabeth and susan would be pissed to have to find someone new to live here
they would be dissapointed - when i talk about it to them they say they hated it too here for the first year...
no car
no health insurance
no car insurance
no job
no NYC - i do love NY but i'm not sure i'm here for a good reason anymore

ugh... i'm so lost right now.

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I'm torn jifaner March 17 2006, 18:49:23 UTC
awww, Beth! It's sounds to me like you need a trip home. Or a vacation or something.
On the one hand, after looking at your pro's and cons list and the fact that I(and Kev too) would abso-fucking-lutely LOVE for you to come on back home, it seems like you should pack up and move on back.
But on the other hand I feel like maybe you should give it at least a whole year and maybe try to accomplish some of the stuff you want to while up there. Even if it's just baby steps it would be something. Plus I've heard that summers in NYC are awesome.
Also, I wouldn't put too much guilt on yourself about the roomies. Sometimes, you've got to do what you need to do for yourself regardless of other peoples wants and feelings.
You can call me anytime if you want/need to. My numbers still the same.

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my 2 pennies... iamthequarry March 18 2006, 08:39:30 UTC
I don't know if this helps, but ( ... )

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Re: my 2 pennies... bethraggs March 18 2006, 13:38:26 UTC
your 2 pennies are SO much appreciated. thanks.

i still don't know what to do. there is a part of me that thinks i am a wuss for even bringing this up and that i need to find my niche here. then there is another part of me that thinks, fuck it all, i don't have to prove anything to anybody.

i still don't know... need to do a lot of thinking...

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Re: my 2 pennies... mollybloom27 March 20 2006, 07:53:08 UTC
i heart you. do what makes you happy.

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