Seumas
Two months ago, my dog and I were out for a walk, when, out of nowhere, he attacked me. Not just a growl and a bite, but a series of bites that went on for an extended period of time until I wrangled him back to my apartment. I was very lucky my jacket was thick, or I would have been pretty sorely mangled. In the weeks since, he's gone after me every time we go for a walk. It appears that he grows tired of being restrained to the space afforded by the leash and wants to be rid of it. I took him to the vet, because I have no idea where this came from, who says he has dominance aggression. It came on when he hit doggy puberty, I guess. It can be worked with, for $150 per session and copious amounts of time devoted (like taking a whole week off to work the program). The appointment's three weeks out and Friday he went for my throat. I can't take it anymore.
My therapist says that I'm burned out, which is why everything's pretty much gone to pot recently. Too many things are requiring my full attention. I teach Work Certified Math and GED math, on top of a full caseload. That's pretty much two full time jobs to be done in the time constraints of one. I'm still working on the study for my boss. School just let out and this semester was just plain scary. My apartment has descended to levels of sanitation that match my deepest depressions in Minnesota, not because I'm depressed, but because I just don't have the energy for it. She and I are working on a program so that I can stay on top of things, but that still doesn't leave very much for an extremely high maintenance, borderline dangerous dog.
I have reached the decision that I can't handle him. Maybe there's somebody out there more stubborn than me who can. I don't know. Monday he goes back to Humane Society. Then, after a few weeks to adjust and rework my apartment, I'm getting cats.
It's not that I don't want dogs or don't think I'm a good dog parent. I just can't go through this again so soon. Maybe in a year or two I'll be ready to try again. I am a very good dog owner with an excellent understanding of human/dog dynamics. That's what made this whole fiasco so shocking. I'm very good at establishing alpha/beta relationships with dogs, but this one is just impossible.
Everyone I've talked to says it's not my fault. They watched me raise him, so they should know. But it still feels like I've failed both of us somehow. If only I'd done more of this, or less of that... Yet I have to remember, I did right by him. I was good to him. I loved him and cared for him well. I tried to teach him good behavior. This was not my fault. I just have to learn to accept this, too, and move on.
My therapist says that I'm burned out, which is why everything's pretty much gone to pot recently. Too many things are requiring my full attention. I teach Work Certified Math and GED math, on top of a full caseload. That's pretty much two full time jobs to be done in the time constraints of one. I'm still working on the study for my boss. School just let out and this semester was just plain scary. My apartment has descended to levels of sanitation that match my deepest depressions in Minnesota, not because I'm depressed, but because I just don't have the energy for it. She and I are working on a program so that I can stay on top of things, but that still doesn't leave very much for an extremely high maintenance, borderline dangerous dog.
I have reached the decision that I can't handle him. Maybe there's somebody out there more stubborn than me who can. I don't know. Monday he goes back to Humane Society. Then, after a few weeks to adjust and rework my apartment, I'm getting cats.
It's not that I don't want dogs or don't think I'm a good dog parent. I just can't go through this again so soon. Maybe in a year or two I'll be ready to try again. I am a very good dog owner with an excellent understanding of human/dog dynamics. That's what made this whole fiasco so shocking. I'm very good at establishing alpha/beta relationships with dogs, but this one is just impossible.
Everyone I've talked to says it's not my fault. They watched me raise him, so they should know. But it still feels like I've failed both of us somehow. If only I'd done more of this, or less of that... Yet I have to remember, I did right by him. I was good to him. I loved him and cared for him well. I tried to teach him good behavior. This was not my fault. I just have to learn to accept this, too, and move on.