Heavy Rain/Twin Peaks fic: While in Texas
AHAHAHAHA WHAT.
Title: While in Texas
Fandom: Heavy Rain/Twin Peaks
Pairing: Agent Norman Jayden/Agent Dale Cooper
Rating: PG-13.
Uhh, I wrote this really quickly when I should have been sleeping. D:
"I thoroughly apologize on behalf of the Bureau. They usually do their absolute best to provide us with air conditioning." Agent Cooper strolled over to the window of their muggy hotel room and pried it open with a grunt. "Texas," he muttered, shaking his head.
Agent Jayden sat down on the bed nearest to the door and slid off his shoes. "Yes," he agreed. He really wanted to reorganize his ARI files a bit before going to sleep.
Cooper neatly shucked off his jacket and draped it over the lone hanger in the closet. "So, Norman. What do you think of your first assignment?" he asked eagerly. Apparently being ankle deep in bodily fluids was no big thing. Jayden felt like he'd just been asked if Santa had brought him everything he'd wanted for Christmas.
"It's..." Jayden paused, fishing for the right word. "Challenging."
"It is, it is," Cooper agreed, nodding sagely as he joined Jayden on the edge his bed. He draped one arm around his shoulder in what Jayden took to be a gesture of encouragement. "But I love it. Diane," he added abruptly, pulling a tape recorder from somewhere in the vicinity of his shirt. "I hope you'll make me listen to this the next time my morale is in the gutter: I love my job. This hotel room may be hotter than that chili I made the mistake of eating at last year's state fair, but damn it. I love my job." He tucked away his recorder with a satisfied smile.
"So, what do you think of our suspect?" Jayden asked, fiddling with his glasses.
"Who? The janitor? Not our guy. Too old, too dependent. I'd say we're looking for a white male, mid-twenties maybe, definitely lives alone. These local cops wouldn't know a serial killer from a slab of goat cheese. Hey, they put you on the newest ARI test run, didn't they," Cooper said, finally taking his hand off Jayden's shoulder. "You know what we like to call ARI, don't you? Actually Radioactive Inside. Referring, of course, to the infamous second prototype. If you don't already know what happened with that one, I won't tell you."
Jayden decided that maybe he would wait until morning to go over his ARI notes.
"Hey, how about a drink," Cooper declared before disappearing into the bathroom. He came out with a bottle of scotch and two cheap, plastic hotel cups.
"Where did you get that?" Jayden asked.
"We're in El Paso!" Cooper replied, as if that were a perfectly satisfactory answer. "If you want ice there might be a machine somewhere in the hallway, but I can't guarantee it."
Jayden made himself more comfortable on the bed. "Neat is just fine."
Cooper slid his cup across the shared nightstand. "Norman, have I told you yet how charming I find your accent? You know, I had an aunt who moved to Boston. Absolutely hated it for the first four months. See, she'd lived in Chicago for most of her life, and when she went to Boston, she couldn't figure out how to navigate your crazy streets. I also like that you said 'neat'. No one ever uses 'neat' as a liquor instruction."
"Um, thank you," Jayden said.
"How do you like your coffee, Norman?" Cooper asked, taking a sip from his hotel cup.
"Black."
"Good, good. That's what I like to hear. Because I saw this coffee shop about a mile south on the way in, and I don't know about you, but I like to start my day with a quality cup of coffee. Diane," he continued, speaking into his tape recorder again. Jayden couldn't figure out where that thing kept coming from. "Let me tell you something. The best cup of coffee I ever had was in the middle of Nebraska. Now, I don't know how a state like Nebraska learned to brew something as magnificent as that cup of coffee, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I gave it a well-deserved 11.8. I'll let you know where El Paso stands in the rankings." He switched off the recorder, then switched it back on. "Unfortunately, I can't say much for their hotels."
Jayden glanced at the clock, swirling his empty cup in one hand. "Shit, I'm not even tired."
"Welcome to my life, Norman," Cooper beamed. "You get used to it. Here, let me pour you another one."
"I don't...normally drink on the job," Jayden laughed, slightly embarrassed. "But maybe it'll help me sleep."
"It's an exciting job, Norman. And I've already told you how much I love it." Cooper poured him a hefty shot before lying back down on his own bed. "I don't normally work with a partner, you know, but I think you show a lot of promise. If the ARI technology doesn't melt your brain." He chuckled when he saw Jayden's face. "Kidding. I hope, anyway. Well, we've got a long day in store for us tomorrow, but I think it's going to be a good one. Damn is it hot in here. Have you ever received a blowjob from another man, Norman?"
Jayden nearly tumbled off the bed. "What?"
"Blowjob. From another man. They say it's better than anything a woman could ever hope to accomplish."
Jayden started to asked who "they" referred to, but then thought better of it. "N-No, I haven't!" he sputtered.
"I see."
"Why? Do I...do I seem gay?" Jayden asked.
Cooper shrugged. "To be perfectly honest, a little bit. And I generally get a pretty good reading on these types of things."
"Are...are you?" Jayden asked.
Cooper shrugged again. "We're in El Paso," he said simply.
Agent Cooper gave the coffee the next morning a solid score of 7.3, while the blowjob he got from Agent Jayden beat his reigning first place by nearly six points.
Title: While in Texas
Fandom: Heavy Rain/Twin Peaks
Pairing: Agent Norman Jayden/Agent Dale Cooper
Rating: PG-13.
Uhh, I wrote this really quickly when I should have been sleeping. D:
"I thoroughly apologize on behalf of the Bureau. They usually do their absolute best to provide us with air conditioning." Agent Cooper strolled over to the window of their muggy hotel room and pried it open with a grunt. "Texas," he muttered, shaking his head.
Agent Jayden sat down on the bed nearest to the door and slid off his shoes. "Yes," he agreed. He really wanted to reorganize his ARI files a bit before going to sleep.
Cooper neatly shucked off his jacket and draped it over the lone hanger in the closet. "So, Norman. What do you think of your first assignment?" he asked eagerly. Apparently being ankle deep in bodily fluids was no big thing. Jayden felt like he'd just been asked if Santa had brought him everything he'd wanted for Christmas.
"It's..." Jayden paused, fishing for the right word. "Challenging."
"It is, it is," Cooper agreed, nodding sagely as he joined Jayden on the edge his bed. He draped one arm around his shoulder in what Jayden took to be a gesture of encouragement. "But I love it. Diane," he added abruptly, pulling a tape recorder from somewhere in the vicinity of his shirt. "I hope you'll make me listen to this the next time my morale is in the gutter: I love my job. This hotel room may be hotter than that chili I made the mistake of eating at last year's state fair, but damn it. I love my job." He tucked away his recorder with a satisfied smile.
"So, what do you think of our suspect?" Jayden asked, fiddling with his glasses.
"Who? The janitor? Not our guy. Too old, too dependent. I'd say we're looking for a white male, mid-twenties maybe, definitely lives alone. These local cops wouldn't know a serial killer from a slab of goat cheese. Hey, they put you on the newest ARI test run, didn't they," Cooper said, finally taking his hand off Jayden's shoulder. "You know what we like to call ARI, don't you? Actually Radioactive Inside. Referring, of course, to the infamous second prototype. If you don't already know what happened with that one, I won't tell you."
Jayden decided that maybe he would wait until morning to go over his ARI notes.
"Hey, how about a drink," Cooper declared before disappearing into the bathroom. He came out with a bottle of scotch and two cheap, plastic hotel cups.
"Where did you get that?" Jayden asked.
"We're in El Paso!" Cooper replied, as if that were a perfectly satisfactory answer. "If you want ice there might be a machine somewhere in the hallway, but I can't guarantee it."
Jayden made himself more comfortable on the bed. "Neat is just fine."
Cooper slid his cup across the shared nightstand. "Norman, have I told you yet how charming I find your accent? You know, I had an aunt who moved to Boston. Absolutely hated it for the first four months. See, she'd lived in Chicago for most of her life, and when she went to Boston, she couldn't figure out how to navigate your crazy streets. I also like that you said 'neat'. No one ever uses 'neat' as a liquor instruction."
"Um, thank you," Jayden said.
"How do you like your coffee, Norman?" Cooper asked, taking a sip from his hotel cup.
"Black."
"Good, good. That's what I like to hear. Because I saw this coffee shop about a mile south on the way in, and I don't know about you, but I like to start my day with a quality cup of coffee. Diane," he continued, speaking into his tape recorder again. Jayden couldn't figure out where that thing kept coming from. "Let me tell you something. The best cup of coffee I ever had was in the middle of Nebraska. Now, I don't know how a state like Nebraska learned to brew something as magnificent as that cup of coffee, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I gave it a well-deserved 11.8. I'll let you know where El Paso stands in the rankings." He switched off the recorder, then switched it back on. "Unfortunately, I can't say much for their hotels."
Jayden glanced at the clock, swirling his empty cup in one hand. "Shit, I'm not even tired."
"Welcome to my life, Norman," Cooper beamed. "You get used to it. Here, let me pour you another one."
"I don't...normally drink on the job," Jayden laughed, slightly embarrassed. "But maybe it'll help me sleep."
"It's an exciting job, Norman. And I've already told you how much I love it." Cooper poured him a hefty shot before lying back down on his own bed. "I don't normally work with a partner, you know, but I think you show a lot of promise. If the ARI technology doesn't melt your brain." He chuckled when he saw Jayden's face. "Kidding. I hope, anyway. Well, we've got a long day in store for us tomorrow, but I think it's going to be a good one. Damn is it hot in here. Have you ever received a blowjob from another man, Norman?"
Jayden nearly tumbled off the bed. "What?"
"Blowjob. From another man. They say it's better than anything a woman could ever hope to accomplish."
Jayden started to asked who "they" referred to, but then thought better of it. "N-No, I haven't!" he sputtered.
"I see."
"Why? Do I...do I seem gay?" Jayden asked.
Cooper shrugged. "To be perfectly honest, a little bit. And I generally get a pretty good reading on these types of things."
"Are...are you?" Jayden asked.
Cooper shrugged again. "We're in El Paso," he said simply.
Agent Cooper gave the coffee the next morning a solid score of 7.3, while the blowjob he got from Agent Jayden beat his reigning first place by nearly six points.