so much to say
how do we forget so often? I am sitting in my room, on my comfortable bed listening to the fierce storm building around me. all the while thinking…”god is here.” he is always here, he is always around, he is always listening, he is always loving. we are human, and we just forget. wow, it seems like a long time since I have written about god on this thing.
last week liz asked me what was going on with God and i. I will admit, for a while I did not know exactly, but I do now. basically, I do not want to love, or be in a relationship with god based on fear or rejection. I want to be in a relationship with god because I love him and desire to be with him. I know I felt it before, but I have forgotten what it feels like to be in love with god. in addition, I have forgotten what it feels like for god to love me. for anyone to love me. my point is, I am rebuilding and will be under construction for however long it takes. so, no worries. someone once said that love cannot be found where it does not exist. I believe that to be true. the great thing about god is that he is all about love. and so, I believe I will find it again, because it exist.
it is funny to me how parallel our relationships with men are to god. I had a great love, maybe two if I am honest with myself. after having my heart ripped out and stomped on for all the world to see, I thought I might never love again. I am not in love now, but I am more hopeful than ever that it can still exist for me. (I would like to take this time to thank god for constantly putting people in my life at exactly the right time.) In the same way, I am not in love with god right now, but I know it can be found again. the difference is this….the relationships in our lives, every kind of them, are constantly changing. god is the same today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow. god’s love never fails. remind yourself of that every day and try your hardest not to forget, because we are human and we do.
ok, now for the other stuff. Abilene was good for school but bad for me. I hated it. minus my awesome class which I loved. I left early and spent a week with my parents. it was great. I worked in the garden every day with crop harvesting and spent hours on the phone with rob…because I like him. I finally came back to mustang to rest and get myself back together. I have been working again and watching way to much “sex and the city” but that is what I do best. most evenings are spent relaxing, talking with my roommate greg about anything and everything, and followed by lots of giggling on the phone with rob. for now, that is the way it should be. I am happy.
Wednesday’s I am helping Liz teach the kids at church, which I totally enjoy. I am also beginning my guitar lessons for cute kids this week. so, there is plenty to do.
this weekend, I drove to Eudora Kansas to be a part of a wedding. my friend Jason married this fabulous girl named Nicole and I could not be happier for them. I sent most of my time with Dave and Katie which was a blast. the wedding was beautiful and the after party was the best reception I have EVER been to. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun I had. I danced until my legs fell off. this weekend was waaaaay to much fun.
alright, that’s all I got. peace.
last week liz asked me what was going on with God and i. I will admit, for a while I did not know exactly, but I do now. basically, I do not want to love, or be in a relationship with god based on fear or rejection. I want to be in a relationship with god because I love him and desire to be with him. I know I felt it before, but I have forgotten what it feels like to be in love with god. in addition, I have forgotten what it feels like for god to love me. for anyone to love me. my point is, I am rebuilding and will be under construction for however long it takes. so, no worries. someone once said that love cannot be found where it does not exist. I believe that to be true. the great thing about god is that he is all about love. and so, I believe I will find it again, because it exist.
it is funny to me how parallel our relationships with men are to god. I had a great love, maybe two if I am honest with myself. after having my heart ripped out and stomped on for all the world to see, I thought I might never love again. I am not in love now, but I am more hopeful than ever that it can still exist for me. (I would like to take this time to thank god for constantly putting people in my life at exactly the right time.) In the same way, I am not in love with god right now, but I know it can be found again. the difference is this….the relationships in our lives, every kind of them, are constantly changing. god is the same today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow. god’s love never fails. remind yourself of that every day and try your hardest not to forget, because we are human and we do.
ok, now for the other stuff. Abilene was good for school but bad for me. I hated it. minus my awesome class which I loved. I left early and spent a week with my parents. it was great. I worked in the garden every day with crop harvesting and spent hours on the phone with rob…because I like him. I finally came back to mustang to rest and get myself back together. I have been working again and watching way to much “sex and the city” but that is what I do best. most evenings are spent relaxing, talking with my roommate greg about anything and everything, and followed by lots of giggling on the phone with rob. for now, that is the way it should be. I am happy.
Wednesday’s I am helping Liz teach the kids at church, which I totally enjoy. I am also beginning my guitar lessons for cute kids this week. so, there is plenty to do.
this weekend, I drove to Eudora Kansas to be a part of a wedding. my friend Jason married this fabulous girl named Nicole and I could not be happier for them. I sent most of my time with Dave and Katie which was a blast. the wedding was beautiful and the after party was the best reception I have EVER been to. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun I had. I danced until my legs fell off. this weekend was waaaaay to much fun.
alright, that’s all I got. peace.