(no subject)

[beta_5]

 Sit sit.
aLone; and oddLy not thriLLed.
wanting arms, and quiet if broken warmth
in dark dark quiet
waiting waiting
for my time;
watching something cook
that eYE started too
late
after a day was undone
listening to
LittLe hands cry
not knowing
why
why eYE feel detached
disjointed
and far from her, from my Feathers
when I sit not a room 
away.
Don't know.
people claim the emotions are
normal;
it gets beTTer
BeTTer how?
do you feel like a mother
eventually?
a wife again?
are you supposed to feeL
so bitter?
Dont want too. Want
to snap jaws, teeth
at the sun
to feel the exultant air around us
but for now, feel dead air.
Dead air and stale warmth.
Maybe with time
maybe with time
it will pass
and eYE will feel this supposed spark of
motherhood
'they' claim comes.
Maybe it was how she came into the world
maybe it's my own misgivings.
don't know.
But aLone sitting
most of the day, and now here tonight
a rare moment; but unsure.
Surety comes, with time, we hope
and eYE can only trust myself to
get ovER this..
this funk that comes and goes, and comes and stays
and glide along the sun again
with my feaThers; and my LittLe hands.