I am older than I once was, but younger than I'll be..
Christmas went well. I think my favorite present right now is this book/kit that my mom got me called "Mandalas for Meditation," and it's kind of like a coloring book for adults (I know, go ahead and laugh), it comes with 80 pages of just kind of random designs that you can color (most of them are pretty intricate but some are simpler) and colored pencils, and a book all about these designs, and you supposedly can color them and then meditate on what your coloring pattern says about your personality and stuff. I haven't gotten too deep into it, but have enjoyed coloring a few pretty pictures. :) I really love coloring and I'm glad there's finally something geared towards REALLY big kids. ;)
-two really cute sweaters: a blue hoodie one and a pink fuzzy one that also came with a scarf
-Best and Worst of American Idol DVDs
-Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day" album
-a Chieftans CD
-(from my brother) Bo Bice's CD (which I am really enjoying, by the way)
-SNL best of Adam Sandler DVD
-two pairs of jeans, but they didn't fit :(
-fuzzy pair of slippers
-fun slinky-ish bracelet
-high tech lotion for my itchy legs
-money from relatives
-candy
-keychain sharpies
The other night my brother and I were up late watching TV (I'm now in danger of becoming addicted to Law and Order: SVU. Yet another late bandwagon jump!), and we were randomly reminiscing about elementary and middle school days and such. And so that made me decide to look back through some of my old journals from middle school...not so much from the eighth grade angsty period, but more from sixth and seventh grades. And wow. Half the time I could barely stand reading what I'd written...some of it was so incredibly embarrassing- like back then, I had a crush on this guy, but I was effing PSYCHO about it. That's not something I'd forgotten or anything- I remember I saw him on a fairly regular basis throughout high school and he was always nice and sometimes tried to start conversations with me, but I was SO embarrassed by how I had been in the past that I could never be around him for too long. But the other night was the first time I'd actually really read back to those entries, and...I was NUTS. I had this delusion that nobody knew I liked this kid, that HE didn't know. I was all, "OMG he's going away for the week and I'm going to miss him soooo much but I'm going to let him borrow my notes when he gets back!!!11" Ugh. He actually was/is a really nice guy, which is probably the reason that I am still alive today and was not slaughtered back then.
And then other things I read really got me thinking, and I've had these thoughts before...about how what we find important changes so much throughout the years. For instance, in seventh grade, I thought that being in the middle school select choir was pretty much the greatest thing in the world. Or that it was the worst thing in the world when that guy said "no" when I made my friends "ask him out for me." And I mean...I can still see the POINT of those thoughts- getting picked to be in a "select" group is indeed pretty cool, and rejection does indeed suck. And there might still be select groups or rejections out there in the future that might still seem like the best or worst things in the world. But when I look at it in retrospect, my life isn't some huge glowing ball of pure ecstasy because I was in middle school select choir, and my life wasn't ruined because some boy whom I practically stalked wouldn't go out with me when I was twelve years old. And so then it makes me wonder whether some of the things that seem really important to me NOW will be almost inconsequential in five or ten years.
Then there are the smaller differences- in seventh grade I liked running and math, both of which I pretty much can't stand now. I didn't watch very much TV at all back then- the only show that I followed somewhat regularly was 7th Heaven- and now I'm a bit of a TV junkie. I thought I wanted to go to med school, which actually didn't change until this year, but still, it changed. My favorite color was yellow instead of green. I never wore makeup. Little things like that.
But there are some things that didn't change- I was always trying to make everyone happy, keep the peace, etc, and got upset when I couldn't. I guilt tripped easily, procrastinated on everything, couldn't keep my room clean, and tended to overanalyze. I loved music, books, and journaling, and was addicted to AIM (though with dial-up back then, I spent a lot less time on it). I sang loudly when nobody was home, was too gullible for my own good, and ate enough fruit for the entire family. In the wise words of Simon and Garfunkel- "After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same."
So I wonder, how many of those things will change in the coming years? Or are those just always going to be the constants? Seven years from now, will I go out running every other day and not give a damn about what's on TV? There's no real way of knowing. Funny how things turn out sometimes.
-two really cute sweaters: a blue hoodie one and a pink fuzzy one that also came with a scarf
-Best and Worst of American Idol DVDs
-Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day" album
-a Chieftans CD
-(from my brother) Bo Bice's CD (which I am really enjoying, by the way)
-SNL best of Adam Sandler DVD
-two pairs of jeans, but they didn't fit :(
-fuzzy pair of slippers
-fun slinky-ish bracelet
-high tech lotion for my itchy legs
-money from relatives
-candy
-keychain sharpies
The other night my brother and I were up late watching TV (I'm now in danger of becoming addicted to Law and Order: SVU. Yet another late bandwagon jump!), and we were randomly reminiscing about elementary and middle school days and such. And so that made me decide to look back through some of my old journals from middle school...not so much from the eighth grade angsty period, but more from sixth and seventh grades. And wow. Half the time I could barely stand reading what I'd written...some of it was so incredibly embarrassing- like back then, I had a crush on this guy, but I was effing PSYCHO about it. That's not something I'd forgotten or anything- I remember I saw him on a fairly regular basis throughout high school and he was always nice and sometimes tried to start conversations with me, but I was SO embarrassed by how I had been in the past that I could never be around him for too long. But the other night was the first time I'd actually really read back to those entries, and...I was NUTS. I had this delusion that nobody knew I liked this kid, that HE didn't know. I was all, "OMG he's going away for the week and I'm going to miss him soooo much but I'm going to let him borrow my notes when he gets back!!!11" Ugh. He actually was/is a really nice guy, which is probably the reason that I am still alive today and was not slaughtered back then.
And then other things I read really got me thinking, and I've had these thoughts before...about how what we find important changes so much throughout the years. For instance, in seventh grade, I thought that being in the middle school select choir was pretty much the greatest thing in the world. Or that it was the worst thing in the world when that guy said "no" when I made my friends "ask him out for me." And I mean...I can still see the POINT of those thoughts- getting picked to be in a "select" group is indeed pretty cool, and rejection does indeed suck. And there might still be select groups or rejections out there in the future that might still seem like the best or worst things in the world. But when I look at it in retrospect, my life isn't some huge glowing ball of pure ecstasy because I was in middle school select choir, and my life wasn't ruined because some boy whom I practically stalked wouldn't go out with me when I was twelve years old. And so then it makes me wonder whether some of the things that seem really important to me NOW will be almost inconsequential in five or ten years.
Then there are the smaller differences- in seventh grade I liked running and math, both of which I pretty much can't stand now. I didn't watch very much TV at all back then- the only show that I followed somewhat regularly was 7th Heaven- and now I'm a bit of a TV junkie. I thought I wanted to go to med school, which actually didn't change until this year, but still, it changed. My favorite color was yellow instead of green. I never wore makeup. Little things like that.
But there are some things that didn't change- I was always trying to make everyone happy, keep the peace, etc, and got upset when I couldn't. I guilt tripped easily, procrastinated on everything, couldn't keep my room clean, and tended to overanalyze. I loved music, books, and journaling, and was addicted to AIM (though with dial-up back then, I spent a lot less time on it). I sang loudly when nobody was home, was too gullible for my own good, and ate enough fruit for the entire family. In the wise words of Simon and Garfunkel- "After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same."
So I wonder, how many of those things will change in the coming years? Or are those just always going to be the constants? Seven years from now, will I go out running every other day and not give a damn about what's on TV? There's no real way of knowing. Funny how things turn out sometimes.