To Hijab or Not to Hijab.
Does anyone really use live journal anymore..? I haven't really explored it much but I used to use it maybe a bit too often.. And I am quite surprised that it's still up and running!
Anyway, I have been having such a hard time when it comes to wearing hijab. I had stopped wearing it for about 6 months. I recently put it back on.. Was happy for maybe a week and I already just feel like I hate wearing it again. Like putting it back on has confirmed for me that I just don't feel myself wearing it. Especially after being without it for 6 months.I also kind of feel like I've realized that I actually feel a bit oppressed and angry when I wear it now. I feel like what the hell about the dudes? Especially in the heat in Kuwait.. It just feels like if I dress modestly why do I need to cover my hair, my ears, me arms? If I'm covering my boobs, my butt, things that can actually attract a man... What is it all for? I also feel like I am succumbing to other cultures instead of really 'obeying' God. If the Quran was intended for the arabs but was the same message as the torah and the bible, why is it that Islam is the only religion that has hijab in it? I feel like I've been blindly following something when Islam actually encourages asking, learning.. And discourages blind following.. Yeah. I feel even more embarrassed now though because I made the step to take it off and then I put it back on and now a month, or maybe a little less, I already want to take it off. I think I might be taking it off soon but want to wait a day or so to see how I feel. It's difficult to really figure out how I'm feeling when I feel like who I really am is not really accepted where I am currently living. I feel like my husband accepts me and yes I am grateful for that and I do feel like that is most important when it comes to other people.. But it's hard to explain if you don't live in a muslim country. Anyway. Baby duties. I think I'm going to try and come on to lj a little more often. I've missed it.. Hopefully it's not dead and still lively like it used to be.
Anyway, I have been having such a hard time when it comes to wearing hijab. I had stopped wearing it for about 6 months. I recently put it back on.. Was happy for maybe a week and I already just feel like I hate wearing it again. Like putting it back on has confirmed for me that I just don't feel myself wearing it. Especially after being without it for 6 months.I also kind of feel like I've realized that I actually feel a bit oppressed and angry when I wear it now. I feel like what the hell about the dudes? Especially in the heat in Kuwait.. It just feels like if I dress modestly why do I need to cover my hair, my ears, me arms? If I'm covering my boobs, my butt, things that can actually attract a man... What is it all for? I also feel like I am succumbing to other cultures instead of really 'obeying' God. If the Quran was intended for the arabs but was the same message as the torah and the bible, why is it that Islam is the only religion that has hijab in it? I feel like I've been blindly following something when Islam actually encourages asking, learning.. And discourages blind following.. Yeah. I feel even more embarrassed now though because I made the step to take it off and then I put it back on and now a month, or maybe a little less, I already want to take it off. I think I might be taking it off soon but want to wait a day or so to see how I feel. It's difficult to really figure out how I'm feeling when I feel like who I really am is not really accepted where I am currently living. I feel like my husband accepts me and yes I am grateful for that and I do feel like that is most important when it comes to other people.. But it's hard to explain if you don't live in a muslim country. Anyway. Baby duties. I think I'm going to try and come on to lj a little more often. I've missed it.. Hopefully it's not dead and still lively like it used to be.