(no subject)
Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah. So! Things have been getting back to normal since getting back from Kuwait. It was hard at first because I miss Kuwait so much but I'm slowly and inshallah surely getting back into the groove of things. Kuwait was amazing. As soon as we stepped off the plane, I hear the athan for asr. I love everything about Kuwait except some minor things and the driving is terrible but nothing compares to being in a muslim country. Finally feeling accepted for what I choose to believe. I miss hearing the athan and having a place to pray anywhere I went. I miss the family as well, the hospitality I was shown was a blessing alhamdudilah. It gave me the motivation to learn more and to take things slowly. I was making Islam break my back when it's not meant to be a hardship. I also took off my niqab in the middle of our trip. Long story short, some reasons I was wearing it were wrong. I was not ready for it and it was a hardship on me. I was focusing so much on my appearance and so little on my eman. I felt like enough was enough and I finally broke. It wasn't easy and kind of embarassing because I felt like I failed but they accepted me either way and were very understanding thank God. Also coming back it was kind of difficult but I haven't really had any more hardships since I stopped wearing it. When I decided to stop wearing it I felt a sense of relief and that was a major clue that my heart was not completely into wearing the niqab. I think if someone decides to wear the niqab, more power to you. It isn't for everyone and we need to remember that Islam is a way of life. We need to take Islam bit by bit and remember what deserves complete determination. Master modesty but once you've done so, move onto your eman and knowledge. Don't forget both sides, that was my problem. And I am so grateful I realized this. I took a step or two back and am now more relaxed. Anyway, I'll try posting more later inshaAllah. Hope all is well.
Assalam alaikum
Assalam alaikum