Big Life Decision
So for a long time now there's been a small part of me that's wanted to be a pilot. I guess you could say that's what I wanted to be when I was a kid. I've been going to church religiously (pun definitely intended) and I've been mostly praying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I've always felt a lack of direction when it comes to that. People around me have known what they want to do long before they entered college. I went into college hoping I would figure out what I wanted to do, which was part of the appeal of Alma since they make you dabble in lots of different areas.
The problem is I feel like I settled for something because I had to graduate with a degree. Yes I like Economics. It was my best subject and it interested me the most. But I haven't been able to find a job dealing with it and I find it hard to believe that in such a bad economy, economists aren't in demand. The perfect job for someone in my position was up for grabs and I didn't get it. To me, this is a sign that I screwed up 4 years and over $100,000 in tuition and books.
I wish I had realized what it takes to become a pilot. It's basically a bachelor's of science.. another 4 year degree. I didn't research it because I felt like it was a career that wasn't good enough. My parents have always had such high expectations of what I need to do with my life that being a pilot just didn't seem to fit. But you know what? A 10 year Captain can make as much as $200k a year. That's more than most, if I even have to point that out.
I'd have plenty of responsibility, what with holding the lives of hundreds of passengers in my hands... quite literally. And there's so much more to flying than just controlling a plane. In order to be certified you have to understand the physics, economics, psychology, physiology, engineering, meteorology, and aeronautics behind it all. Plus you have to take communications classes too.
But do I really want to be gone for long periods of time? My uncle I believe was a pilot for FedEx for a while and I don't remember him being gone all the time, but I didn't live with him. I want my kids to know I'll always be around. I don't want to miss the first steps and first words, etc etc. I'm 23 now. If I start taking classes next Fall (because I think I missed the deadline for this winter), I'll be 28 when I finish my degree. I'll probably be married by then if things continue the way they are with James, probably thinking about having kids soon. So while I'm just starting my career, I'll be trying to start a family at the same time.
So do I put something that I've always wanted to do away forever and stick with the degree I already have, which I don't know what I want to do with it and is very limited in what you can do, or do I sacrifice time with my kids (potentially)? Which dream do I pay more attention to... wanting to be a good mother or being a pilot? Or can I do both? Is it so bad to want to have a job that you don't dread going to every day?
It's not like I wouldn't be able to find funding. I think I'd still have loans, which sucks because I thought I was done with school and I luckily got out without a penny of debt. But they're really pushing for women to get into the field and therefore have programs and scholarships galore for women pilots. Maybe I could take summers off?
I just feel like I've had so many signs pointing me in that direction. And it's what I've been praying for every week. How can I not listen to what I think God is telling me to do? Or am I just misinterpreting things I've seen and twisting them into what I want them to be?
The problem is I feel like I settled for something because I had to graduate with a degree. Yes I like Economics. It was my best subject and it interested me the most. But I haven't been able to find a job dealing with it and I find it hard to believe that in such a bad economy, economists aren't in demand. The perfect job for someone in my position was up for grabs and I didn't get it. To me, this is a sign that I screwed up 4 years and over $100,000 in tuition and books.
I wish I had realized what it takes to become a pilot. It's basically a bachelor's of science.. another 4 year degree. I didn't research it because I felt like it was a career that wasn't good enough. My parents have always had such high expectations of what I need to do with my life that being a pilot just didn't seem to fit. But you know what? A 10 year Captain can make as much as $200k a year. That's more than most, if I even have to point that out.
I'd have plenty of responsibility, what with holding the lives of hundreds of passengers in my hands... quite literally. And there's so much more to flying than just controlling a plane. In order to be certified you have to understand the physics, economics, psychology, physiology, engineering, meteorology, and aeronautics behind it all. Plus you have to take communications classes too.
But do I really want to be gone for long periods of time? My uncle I believe was a pilot for FedEx for a while and I don't remember him being gone all the time, but I didn't live with him. I want my kids to know I'll always be around. I don't want to miss the first steps and first words, etc etc. I'm 23 now. If I start taking classes next Fall (because I think I missed the deadline for this winter), I'll be 28 when I finish my degree. I'll probably be married by then if things continue the way they are with James, probably thinking about having kids soon. So while I'm just starting my career, I'll be trying to start a family at the same time.
So do I put something that I've always wanted to do away forever and stick with the degree I already have, which I don't know what I want to do with it and is very limited in what you can do, or do I sacrifice time with my kids (potentially)? Which dream do I pay more attention to... wanting to be a good mother or being a pilot? Or can I do both? Is it so bad to want to have a job that you don't dread going to every day?
It's not like I wouldn't be able to find funding. I think I'd still have loans, which sucks because I thought I was done with school and I luckily got out without a penny of debt. But they're really pushing for women to get into the field and therefore have programs and scholarships galore for women pilots. Maybe I could take summers off?
I just feel like I've had so many signs pointing me in that direction. And it's what I've been praying for every week. How can I not listen to what I think God is telling me to do? Or am I just misinterpreting things I've seen and twisting them into what I want them to be?