Waiting.
"So the day became one of waiting, which was, he knew a sin: moments were to be experienced; waiting was a sin against both the time that was still to come and the moments one was currently disregarding. Still he was waiting."
- Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman
{{ WARNING: EXCESSIVE EMO-NESS }}
Have you ever felt you've been waiting? Just waiting. For nothing in particular but you have this anticipation in your gut and you can't just explain the feeling out right.
For everything wrong I figured I've been waiting for something extremely right. Or not exactly right. Something incredible. Something life changing. Actually, anything to put my mind off the gutters. I've felt detached from my body. I know I'm moving. I'm talking. But something is wrong. Out of place. Myself just feels so far away - so distant. I knew myself. At least I thought I did. I was this kid. A brat more than anyone, but I was still just a kid. I was mighty. Indestructible. Or at least I healed up pretty decently. That was a million years ago. Lately I've made a lot of decisions that were... for lack of a better word, crappy. And I'm not healing. I can't anymore. I just try to cover it up. Ignore it for a while. Hoping desperately for it to disappear. It never does. It probably never will. But I still wait. For what? I don't know exactly but whatever that is I'm hoping it makes everything right again.