[Log] Fuji & Ryoma: Karupin's Adventure
Characters: Fuji Syūsuke & Echizen Ryoma
Location: ...The ship, believe or not. Fuji's cabin (Room 22), to be exact.
Time: Backdated like nobody's business to April 9, 2012.
Rating: G
Summary: Karupin goes on an adventure and ends up at the last place Ryoma would like to visit. (Related entry here.) Set six days after the events in Prince of Billiards log and the aftermath. The reference to what Atobe said can be found here.
This log started as a backdated log, and started really late. And finished late. And then I dropped off the face of the earth went on a hiatus for a long time.
...Oops? XD
A knock sounded on his door, announcing room service. Fuji paused, his train of thought interrupted. Might as well take a break, he decided. His research was nearly complete, anyway; it was only a matter of compiling his findings at this point. As Fuji moved to the table with his lunch tray, the door eased open just a creak behind him. The sandwich was steaming hot and smelled delicious -- ham and cheese on toasted baguette today. And the yogurt was creamy-white, with scent of fresh berries perfuming the air. With a pleased sigh, Fuji settled down to eat his lunch.
A fluffy head pushed through the creak in the door, bright blue eyes curiously scanning the room. The creature - a cat, Echizen Ryoma's cat, Karupin - entered the room with his tail swishing back and forth, his sensitive nose having smelled the ham and cheese. Silently he padded towards the young man, and then, without warning, jumped onto the table. In his hunt for the baguette, he - naturally - knocked the yogurt out.
"Ara..." Fuji quickly rescued the yogurt cup, but a third of the content had already spilled out. "Where did you come from?" His uninvited guest looked distinctly familiar. Long silky fur, round, raccoon-like face, sky-blue eyes...a seal-point Himalayan. Unless the petting zoo had a jailbreak today, the cat currently studying his sandwich with great interest must belong to one of the passengers. And Fuji had a good guess who the owner might be.
Quickly, Fuji snapped a couple of pictures using his phone, and posted an entry to his online journal.
"While we're waiting for your owner...are you hungry?"
The answering meow carried hints of impatience, and Fuji laughed. Right, of course. He took a slice of ham out of his sandwich and cut them into small pieces. The cat sniffed once, then gobbled down the pieces of ham in the blink of an eye. Chuckling, Fuji pulled out another slice and started cutting, accompanied by plaintive meows for more.
It wasn't long after that Ryoma knocked on Fuji's door, and - without waiting for the call to come inside - he entered the room, walking straight up to the runaway fluffball and scooping him up into his arms. "Oh man! Fuji-senpai, I'm so sorry...! You can't do that, you know?" The last part was directed to Karupin, who didn't seem to mind the scolding as much as being depraved his ham.
If Fuji remembered this was the first time they were talking face to face since the billiards match, there was no hint of awkwardness in his expression. "It's fine, Echizen. I don't mind sharing with..." Karupin was squirming in Echizen's arms, blue eyes wide and beseeching, asking why his human would be so cruel as to deny him so. "I don't think we've been introduced yet. What's his name?"
"'My name is Karupin and I'm eleven years old'," Ryoma said, rising his voice a few octaves as he pretended to talk as his cat. And then, once he realized what he was doing, he blushed furiously. "... I mean. Uh. Yeah, his name's Karupin. I said that already. Okay, just... Shut me up. You have any coffee?"
Fuji shook the cat's paws, a soft chuckle under his breath. "Nice to meet you, Karupin. I'm Fuji Syūsuke. I went to junior high school with Echizen-kun." Though an amused smile curved his lips, Fuji let the rest of Echizen's flustered babble go without comment. "Certainly. Make yourself comfortable." The ship's cabin came with a small coffee maker, and a minute later, the soothing smell of hazelnut coffee permeated the room. "Cream and sugar?" Fuji preferred his coffee black, so the supply of sugar and creamer in the cabin had been left untouched.
Ryoma made himself comfortable, cheeks still a heightened shade of pink, and he buried his nose in his cat's soft fur. Karupin didn't seem to mind, but his attention was more on the food than on his human. Ryoma usually liked his coffee with cream but no sugar, but wouldn't that seem childish? And he still felt awkward around Fuji, which meant he wanted to be on at least equal terms with the other man in at least some way. "... Black, please."
The request was a surprise, as Echizen's love for sweet drinks (like Ponta, for example) was quite well known during junior high. Another reminder, that Echizen was no longer the boy he remembered. Fuji poured out two cups and passed the first to Echizen wordlessly. Discreetly, he placed the saucer with packets of sugar and creamer within reach in case Echizen changed his mind.
Karupin, finally losing patience, squirmed hard, loosening his owner's hold just enough to jump back on the table. Although the cat stopped short of snarfing food right off the tray, it was a near thing. Fuji offered the remaining pieces of ham to the cat, chuckling as the they disappeared. "Is he always this hungry?"
"He usually doesn't get treated to human food. I think he likes it, and the attention, that's all. It's not like I'm letting him starve or anything." He picked up a spoon and stirred the coffee, already second-guessing his decision to keep it plain black. He blinked as he realized the saucer with the sugar and cream close to him - when did it get there? - but he wouldn't fall for temptation. Not yet. "So... Enjoying the cruise so far?" God, that was lame.
Another slice of ham was quickly sacrificed, and just as quickly devoured. Unfortunately for the cat, the spilled yogurt he sniffed with fastidious air was the unsweetened kind, and one lick was sufficient to send the cat recoiling, tail swishing in displeasure. "The cruise's been fun. The ship must be bigger than I thought if we didn't run into each other for a whole week, hmm? How have you been?"
"You silly..." Ryoma tugged ever so lightly on that swishing tail. "Spoiled rotten, you are. Yes, you are." Ah, let's not fall into baby speech when together with Fuji of all people... That was just silly. "... I've been good." Having Karupin here was extremely convenient, Ryoma realized. He could keep his eyes on the cat and thus avoid looking Fuji straight in the eyes.
Karupin gave Echizen an offended look, flicking his tail out of the loose grip. Fuji's lips twitched, but he refrained from laughing. After rooming with Shiraishi back in his first U-17 camp, he thought he'd never see another person so besotted with his pet. Apparently, he'd been wrong. Although, Echizen had Karupin for eleven years, so perhaps his attachment was natural. When his hand tentatively brushed over Karupin's fur, the cat merely flicked his ears once, and then sat on his haunches to lick his paw. "I'm glad to hear that. Did you find anything exciting the last week?"
"Not really, but..." Ryoma frowned for a bit. "I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable here." Maybe it was because of Momoshiro talking about Titanic a lot. Or maybe simply because the large mass of water underneath them made him extremely uncomfortable. Or maybe he was just paranoid. Of course, part of it could also be applied to him not getting along with Atobe, to put it mildly.
"Because of the place?" While large, it was still a ship. There weren't that many places to visit, and there were always people around no matter where one went. For his part, Fuji'd made a thorough study of the ship's layout, if only to visit the training facilities and tennis courts in relative privacy. "Or is it the company?"
There was no fooling Fuji, obviously. Ryoma pressed his lips together, looking away. (Incidentally, he wounded up getting a face-full of Karupin's tail that way, and if his imagination didn't deceive him, it seemed like the damn cat was smug over this fact. Oh well...) "Hn," he muttered, providing an eloquence Tezuka could be envious of.
Karupin swished his tail, hitting -- and incidentally hiding -- Echizen's face. "Sorry. I didn't catch that. Blink once for place, twice for company?" Fuji said, his tone admirably serious.
Ryoma gently but firmly pushed Karupin's butt out of the way. "Stupid...!" He sighed, brushing some stray kitty hairs from his face. "If I blink three times, does that mean I mean both things? I mean... I don't like ships. I don't like Ato--Some people. So... I don't know."
Karupin, unfazed, curled up on the table for a nap, and Fuji chuckled. "Sure. If you don't like ships, a cruise wouldn't be very fun, no." Plus -- being stuck at a party thrown by a host he disliked, but unable to go home? That would aggravate the discomfort, certainly. "Some people, hmm? Should I ask if I'm included in that list?"
"Depends," Ryoma replied, quirking an eyebrow. "On how much you're going to snoop~"
Fuji raised a brow right back at him. "Since when did I need to snoop to find out what I want?" Reaching out, he stroked the cat's back. "So you weren't avoiding me." It sounded like both a question and a statement of fact.
Ryoma opened his mouth to reply, but closed it just as quickly, because the words out of his mouth would have been a complete lie. He would have said 'of course not'... And that wasn't true. He had been avoiding Fuji, a bit at least, but he couldn't bring himself to say it straight to Fuji's face. They were still friends after all. On the other hand, he couldn't bring himself to lie either. In the end, he settled for a shrug. "We're on a ship. That would have been stupid."
"And we never do anything stupid." There was amusement lurking under the bland tone. Echizen's attempt at evasion was commendable, but the boy was in the presence of a master. The twinkle in those blue eyes clearly said: If I play along, it's only because I find it cute when you're trying to be sneaky -- and fail.
"... Hah hah." Ryoma gave a good-natured, albeit halfhearted smile at that. "... Seriously though. Why would I avoid you? I mean... We're cool, right?" That talk over the game of billiards not withstanding.
"You tell me." After all, Echizen had been the one who walked away the last time they had a conversation face to face. Fuji's voice, though soft, held an unyielding edge. "Not wanting to talk about something is fine." His voice grew softer still, but it was the softness of silk wrapped around razor-sharp steel. "Dismissing my concern isn't. Twice -- but not a third time."
By "my concern" it was clear Fuji meant "me." Had it been anyone else, the brief pause that followed might have been hesitation. "What are you afraid of? Do you think I would judge you?"
"I'm not dismissing anything," Ryoma lied, feeling somewhat cornered again. He shook his head, reaching out a hand to stroke Karupin across his back. "And I'm not afraid, it's just..." Another lie. To his (doubtful) credit it could be said that he didn't look Fuji straight in the eyes as he spoke, at least. Rather, he focused on Karupin. "Don't care if you judge me or not. You can't be worse than I am, anyway."
Fuji studied him for a moment, head tilted to one side, a considering look on his face. Then he calmly reached out and flicked Ryoma on the forehead. "Try saying that again while looking in my eyes," he suggested dryly. His hand rested on Ryoma's head for a brief moment, fingers just starting to sink into the soft hair, before he took his hand away. There was a nagging sensation in the back of his mind, about what Atobe said during the journal exchange that led to their billiards match last time. If his memory served, the exact wording was that Atobe was 'too busy playing against people who still mattered.' Once upon a time, Echizen would have cheerfully taken Atobe to the court and humiliated him into the dust for a comment like that. Instead, Echizen had retreated. He'd known tennis was a sore point with Echizen, so Fuji thought that was that.
But it wasn't tennis, was it? Something else Atobe said had hit home.
"In the end, Echizen, you are your only judge. You should be the one that matters the most to you." Karupin was lying on his side, back facing Echizen, and Fuji touched one twitching paw with a careful finger. "Though, I'm curious as to what you imagine could possibly happen," he said, his voice as gentle as his hand stroking Karupin's side, "if you were to simply say what you think, how you feel." Their fingers were barely inches away, Echizen's hand on Karupin's back, and Fuji's on Karupin's side, with the cat sleeping blissfully oblivious to them both. "What's happening with you. What you want to do," Fuji continued, looking straight at Echizen with a rare expression of openness.
The younger man blushed, eyes still locked on the sleeping cat. Part of him regretted that he hadn't simply went into the room and picked Karupin up to leave right after... But he was here now, and they were talking. There was no getting around that, at least not in any way he could think of. You're running away again, even in your mind, his subconscious supplied dryly.
He was close to mumbling that if he said bluntly how he thought and felt, then he'd simply end up with a slap to the face. He caught himself at the last second, having already opened his mouth, but no sound escaping him, yet. There was a beat, then he shrugged, and simply muttered:
"Dunno."
"Try," Fuji said simply. "We can try this off-record, if you'd like."
"... Off record, huh..." Ryoma bit down into his lower lip, shoulders slumping and eyes downcast. "Well... I'm an ass, you know? Right?" It was a start. Vague as it was.
"How are you an ass?" Fuji asked, neither agreeing nor disagreeing; he was more interested in hearing why Echizen thought so than putting in his own two yen.
"Dunno." Ryoma shrugged, searching for the proper words. "I just... I mean... I'm no good, right? So..." Half uttered sentences were the worst, he thought, but he couldn't help stumbling over his own words, and he grew increasingly annoyed with himself. "Oh, I don't know...! I just... I've fucked up. And I'm not as confident as I used to be, but it doesn't take a genius to tell you that. I'm not making any sense..."
"If you're asking for my opinion, then I must disagree." And indeed, it didn't take a genius to guess Echizen must had gone through something difficult and deeply personal during the last seven years. Echizen would never become twelve again, or return to the boy Fuji once knew. But here was an Echizen he could get to know, and a time and place to do so. "And that's the thing, Echizen: I don't know." Fuji paused for a moment, and added, "But I would like to."
Ryoma smiled, bleakly but gratefully, and opened his mouth to say something. If asked afterwards, he'd never remember what exactly. As it were, he was interrupted by Karupin as the cat sat up and stretched, tail whipping up in Ryoma's face, causing him to sneeze. He took a moment or two to collect himself and then chuckled. "Me too, I guess."
Fuji's answering smile held satisfaction tinged with tiny hint of relief. Today was a definite improvement over last time, when Echizen walked away in the middle of a conversation. "I almost forgot. Didn't I promise to mix you a drink before?" He stood up and headed to the mini bar while Karupin stretched and kneaded the table with his paws. "Any requests? Inui-juices are still on the menu, just so you know," he added playfully.
Happy for the change of subject, Ryoma still looked flabbergasted. "... Let's not have that anyway," he whined, then laughed. He actually felt a little better. Now, if only the cruise could end soon and he'd be able to return home... Or stay in Japan. He still hadn't decided. Either way, he thought that maybe trying for a fresh start wouldn't be so bad.
Location: ...The ship, believe or not. Fuji's cabin (Room 22), to be exact.
Time: Backdated like nobody's business to April 9, 2012.
Rating: G
Summary: Karupin goes on an adventure and ends up at the last place Ryoma would like to visit. (Related entry here.) Set six days after the events in Prince of Billiards log and the aftermath. The reference to what Atobe said can be found here.
This log started as a backdated log, and started really late. And finished late. And then I dropped off the face of the earth went on a hiatus for a long time.
...Oops? XD
A knock sounded on his door, announcing room service. Fuji paused, his train of thought interrupted. Might as well take a break, he decided. His research was nearly complete, anyway; it was only a matter of compiling his findings at this point. As Fuji moved to the table with his lunch tray, the door eased open just a creak behind him. The sandwich was steaming hot and smelled delicious -- ham and cheese on toasted baguette today. And the yogurt was creamy-white, with scent of fresh berries perfuming the air. With a pleased sigh, Fuji settled down to eat his lunch.
A fluffy head pushed through the creak in the door, bright blue eyes curiously scanning the room. The creature - a cat, Echizen Ryoma's cat, Karupin - entered the room with his tail swishing back and forth, his sensitive nose having smelled the ham and cheese. Silently he padded towards the young man, and then, without warning, jumped onto the table. In his hunt for the baguette, he - naturally - knocked the yogurt out.
"Ara..." Fuji quickly rescued the yogurt cup, but a third of the content had already spilled out. "Where did you come from?" His uninvited guest looked distinctly familiar. Long silky fur, round, raccoon-like face, sky-blue eyes...a seal-point Himalayan. Unless the petting zoo had a jailbreak today, the cat currently studying his sandwich with great interest must belong to one of the passengers. And Fuji had a good guess who the owner might be.
Quickly, Fuji snapped a couple of pictures using his phone, and posted an entry to his online journal.
"While we're waiting for your owner...are you hungry?"
The answering meow carried hints of impatience, and Fuji laughed. Right, of course. He took a slice of ham out of his sandwich and cut them into small pieces. The cat sniffed once, then gobbled down the pieces of ham in the blink of an eye. Chuckling, Fuji pulled out another slice and started cutting, accompanied by plaintive meows for more.
It wasn't long after that Ryoma knocked on Fuji's door, and - without waiting for the call to come inside - he entered the room, walking straight up to the runaway fluffball and scooping him up into his arms. "Oh man! Fuji-senpai, I'm so sorry...! You can't do that, you know?" The last part was directed to Karupin, who didn't seem to mind the scolding as much as being depraved his ham.
If Fuji remembered this was the first time they were talking face to face since the billiards match, there was no hint of awkwardness in his expression. "It's fine, Echizen. I don't mind sharing with..." Karupin was squirming in Echizen's arms, blue eyes wide and beseeching, asking why his human would be so cruel as to deny him so. "I don't think we've been introduced yet. What's his name?"
"'My name is Karupin and I'm eleven years old'," Ryoma said, rising his voice a few octaves as he pretended to talk as his cat. And then, once he realized what he was doing, he blushed furiously. "... I mean. Uh. Yeah, his name's Karupin. I said that already. Okay, just... Shut me up. You have any coffee?"
Fuji shook the cat's paws, a soft chuckle under his breath. "Nice to meet you, Karupin. I'm Fuji Syūsuke. I went to junior high school with Echizen-kun." Though an amused smile curved his lips, Fuji let the rest of Echizen's flustered babble go without comment. "Certainly. Make yourself comfortable." The ship's cabin came with a small coffee maker, and a minute later, the soothing smell of hazelnut coffee permeated the room. "Cream and sugar?" Fuji preferred his coffee black, so the supply of sugar and creamer in the cabin had been left untouched.
Ryoma made himself comfortable, cheeks still a heightened shade of pink, and he buried his nose in his cat's soft fur. Karupin didn't seem to mind, but his attention was more on the food than on his human. Ryoma usually liked his coffee with cream but no sugar, but wouldn't that seem childish? And he still felt awkward around Fuji, which meant he wanted to be on at least equal terms with the other man in at least some way. "... Black, please."
The request was a surprise, as Echizen's love for sweet drinks (like Ponta, for example) was quite well known during junior high. Another reminder, that Echizen was no longer the boy he remembered. Fuji poured out two cups and passed the first to Echizen wordlessly. Discreetly, he placed the saucer with packets of sugar and creamer within reach in case Echizen changed his mind.
Karupin, finally losing patience, squirmed hard, loosening his owner's hold just enough to jump back on the table. Although the cat stopped short of snarfing food right off the tray, it was a near thing. Fuji offered the remaining pieces of ham to the cat, chuckling as the they disappeared. "Is he always this hungry?"
"He usually doesn't get treated to human food. I think he likes it, and the attention, that's all. It's not like I'm letting him starve or anything." He picked up a spoon and stirred the coffee, already second-guessing his decision to keep it plain black. He blinked as he realized the saucer with the sugar and cream close to him - when did it get there? - but he wouldn't fall for temptation. Not yet. "So... Enjoying the cruise so far?" God, that was lame.
Another slice of ham was quickly sacrificed, and just as quickly devoured. Unfortunately for the cat, the spilled yogurt he sniffed with fastidious air was the unsweetened kind, and one lick was sufficient to send the cat recoiling, tail swishing in displeasure. "The cruise's been fun. The ship must be bigger than I thought if we didn't run into each other for a whole week, hmm? How have you been?"
"You silly..." Ryoma tugged ever so lightly on that swishing tail. "Spoiled rotten, you are. Yes, you are." Ah, let's not fall into baby speech when together with Fuji of all people... That was just silly. "... I've been good." Having Karupin here was extremely convenient, Ryoma realized. He could keep his eyes on the cat and thus avoid looking Fuji straight in the eyes.
Karupin gave Echizen an offended look, flicking his tail out of the loose grip. Fuji's lips twitched, but he refrained from laughing. After rooming with Shiraishi back in his first U-17 camp, he thought he'd never see another person so besotted with his pet. Apparently, he'd been wrong. Although, Echizen had Karupin for eleven years, so perhaps his attachment was natural. When his hand tentatively brushed over Karupin's fur, the cat merely flicked his ears once, and then sat on his haunches to lick his paw. "I'm glad to hear that. Did you find anything exciting the last week?"
"Not really, but..." Ryoma frowned for a bit. "I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable here." Maybe it was because of Momoshiro talking about Titanic a lot. Or maybe simply because the large mass of water underneath them made him extremely uncomfortable. Or maybe he was just paranoid. Of course, part of it could also be applied to him not getting along with Atobe, to put it mildly.
"Because of the place?" While large, it was still a ship. There weren't that many places to visit, and there were always people around no matter where one went. For his part, Fuji'd made a thorough study of the ship's layout, if only to visit the training facilities and tennis courts in relative privacy. "Or is it the company?"
There was no fooling Fuji, obviously. Ryoma pressed his lips together, looking away. (Incidentally, he wounded up getting a face-full of Karupin's tail that way, and if his imagination didn't deceive him, it seemed like the damn cat was smug over this fact. Oh well...) "Hn," he muttered, providing an eloquence Tezuka could be envious of.
Karupin swished his tail, hitting -- and incidentally hiding -- Echizen's face. "Sorry. I didn't catch that. Blink once for place, twice for company?" Fuji said, his tone admirably serious.
Ryoma gently but firmly pushed Karupin's butt out of the way. "Stupid...!" He sighed, brushing some stray kitty hairs from his face. "If I blink three times, does that mean I mean both things? I mean... I don't like ships. I don't like Ato--Some people. So... I don't know."
Karupin, unfazed, curled up on the table for a nap, and Fuji chuckled. "Sure. If you don't like ships, a cruise wouldn't be very fun, no." Plus -- being stuck at a party thrown by a host he disliked, but unable to go home? That would aggravate the discomfort, certainly. "Some people, hmm? Should I ask if I'm included in that list?"
"Depends," Ryoma replied, quirking an eyebrow. "On how much you're going to snoop~"
Fuji raised a brow right back at him. "Since when did I need to snoop to find out what I want?" Reaching out, he stroked the cat's back. "So you weren't avoiding me." It sounded like both a question and a statement of fact.
Ryoma opened his mouth to reply, but closed it just as quickly, because the words out of his mouth would have been a complete lie. He would have said 'of course not'... And that wasn't true. He had been avoiding Fuji, a bit at least, but he couldn't bring himself to say it straight to Fuji's face. They were still friends after all. On the other hand, he couldn't bring himself to lie either. In the end, he settled for a shrug. "We're on a ship. That would have been stupid."
"And we never do anything stupid." There was amusement lurking under the bland tone. Echizen's attempt at evasion was commendable, but the boy was in the presence of a master. The twinkle in those blue eyes clearly said: If I play along, it's only because I find it cute when you're trying to be sneaky -- and fail.
"... Hah hah." Ryoma gave a good-natured, albeit halfhearted smile at that. "... Seriously though. Why would I avoid you? I mean... We're cool, right?" That talk over the game of billiards not withstanding.
"You tell me." After all, Echizen had been the one who walked away the last time they had a conversation face to face. Fuji's voice, though soft, held an unyielding edge. "Not wanting to talk about something is fine." His voice grew softer still, but it was the softness of silk wrapped around razor-sharp steel. "Dismissing my concern isn't. Twice -- but not a third time."
By "my concern" it was clear Fuji meant "me." Had it been anyone else, the brief pause that followed might have been hesitation. "What are you afraid of? Do you think I would judge you?"
"I'm not dismissing anything," Ryoma lied, feeling somewhat cornered again. He shook his head, reaching out a hand to stroke Karupin across his back. "And I'm not afraid, it's just..." Another lie. To his (doubtful) credit it could be said that he didn't look Fuji straight in the eyes as he spoke, at least. Rather, he focused on Karupin. "Don't care if you judge me or not. You can't be worse than I am, anyway."
Fuji studied him for a moment, head tilted to one side, a considering look on his face. Then he calmly reached out and flicked Ryoma on the forehead. "Try saying that again while looking in my eyes," he suggested dryly. His hand rested on Ryoma's head for a brief moment, fingers just starting to sink into the soft hair, before he took his hand away. There was a nagging sensation in the back of his mind, about what Atobe said during the journal exchange that led to their billiards match last time. If his memory served, the exact wording was that Atobe was 'too busy playing against people who still mattered.' Once upon a time, Echizen would have cheerfully taken Atobe to the court and humiliated him into the dust for a comment like that. Instead, Echizen had retreated. He'd known tennis was a sore point with Echizen, so Fuji thought that was that.
But it wasn't tennis, was it? Something else Atobe said had hit home.
"In the end, Echizen, you are your only judge. You should be the one that matters the most to you." Karupin was lying on his side, back facing Echizen, and Fuji touched one twitching paw with a careful finger. "Though, I'm curious as to what you imagine could possibly happen," he said, his voice as gentle as his hand stroking Karupin's side, "if you were to simply say what you think, how you feel." Their fingers were barely inches away, Echizen's hand on Karupin's back, and Fuji's on Karupin's side, with the cat sleeping blissfully oblivious to them both. "What's happening with you. What you want to do," Fuji continued, looking straight at Echizen with a rare expression of openness.
The younger man blushed, eyes still locked on the sleeping cat. Part of him regretted that he hadn't simply went into the room and picked Karupin up to leave right after... But he was here now, and they were talking. There was no getting around that, at least not in any way he could think of. You're running away again, even in your mind, his subconscious supplied dryly.
He was close to mumbling that if he said bluntly how he thought and felt, then he'd simply end up with a slap to the face. He caught himself at the last second, having already opened his mouth, but no sound escaping him, yet. There was a beat, then he shrugged, and simply muttered:
"Dunno."
"Try," Fuji said simply. "We can try this off-record, if you'd like."
"... Off record, huh..." Ryoma bit down into his lower lip, shoulders slumping and eyes downcast. "Well... I'm an ass, you know? Right?" It was a start. Vague as it was.
"How are you an ass?" Fuji asked, neither agreeing nor disagreeing; he was more interested in hearing why Echizen thought so than putting in his own two yen.
"Dunno." Ryoma shrugged, searching for the proper words. "I just... I mean... I'm no good, right? So..." Half uttered sentences were the worst, he thought, but he couldn't help stumbling over his own words, and he grew increasingly annoyed with himself. "Oh, I don't know...! I just... I've fucked up. And I'm not as confident as I used to be, but it doesn't take a genius to tell you that. I'm not making any sense..."
"If you're asking for my opinion, then I must disagree." And indeed, it didn't take a genius to guess Echizen must had gone through something difficult and deeply personal during the last seven years. Echizen would never become twelve again, or return to the boy Fuji once knew. But here was an Echizen he could get to know, and a time and place to do so. "And that's the thing, Echizen: I don't know." Fuji paused for a moment, and added, "But I would like to."
Ryoma smiled, bleakly but gratefully, and opened his mouth to say something. If asked afterwards, he'd never remember what exactly. As it were, he was interrupted by Karupin as the cat sat up and stretched, tail whipping up in Ryoma's face, causing him to sneeze. He took a moment or two to collect himself and then chuckled. "Me too, I guess."
Fuji's answering smile held satisfaction tinged with tiny hint of relief. Today was a definite improvement over last time, when Echizen walked away in the middle of a conversation. "I almost forgot. Didn't I promise to mix you a drink before?" He stood up and headed to the mini bar while Karupin stretched and kneaded the table with his paws. "Any requests? Inui-juices are still on the menu, just so you know," he added playfully.
Happy for the change of subject, Ryoma still looked flabbergasted. "... Let's not have that anyway," he whined, then laughed. He actually felt a little better. Now, if only the cruise could end soon and he'd be able to return home... Or stay in Japan. He still hadn't decided. Either way, he thought that maybe trying for a fresh start wouldn't be so bad.