[Log] Face Doodles
Characters: Momoshiro Takeshi & Kaidoh Kaoru
Location: Kaidoh's hut and the beach
Time: September 12, after this entry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Momo has fun with Kaidoh's face.
Okay, it seemed like a really funny idea at the time, especially since it’s their first night alone again. It still does, actually, but Kaidoh’s face is saying otherwise at 5 AM in the morning. Though he looks happy too, what with the smile that Momoshiro drew on his lips while he was sleeping. And the black cat whiskers marked on his cheeks, as well as the black nose. Yeah, Momoshiro wasn’t lying when he told Kaidoh to beware of him at night, and sleep with one eye open. Obviously Momoshiro pretended to be asleep, so Kaidoh would sleep too, and that’s when he pulled out his trusty marker-which he also used to doodle on the walls-and …
“Don’t punch me,” says Momoshiro as he holds his arms up in front of his face to fend off any of Kaidoh’s punches. He tries to hold his laughter back because Kaidoh’s face just look hilarious. He thought the snake would love it, what with his affinity for cats, but obviously when he found out, he got really angry. Like angry, angry.
Momoshiro bites his lips as he looks at cat-face Kaidoh again. “It suits you though.” And he’s got a picture of it stored in his cellphone.
"No it doesn't, moron," Kaidoh snarls back, definitely not amused. He scowls, which just makes Momoshiro's eyes glint in amusement. He looks like he's trying really hard not to explode with laughter. It just makes Kaidoh even angrier, and it's really annoying that glaring at Momoshiro isn't working because he's got fucking cat whiskers drawn onto his face so any facial expression he makes just looks ridiculous.
Yes it does, Momoshiro wants to say, but he’ll try to play it safe and not push Kaidoh’s buttons. If Kaidoh is going to punch him today, it will be hard, and he rather likes his nose.
“Okay, okay, I’ll help you get it off,” says Momoshiro with an amusing smug smirk. He pinches one of Kaidoh’s cheeks; it just looks too funny.
Kaidoh swats grumpily at Momoshiro's hand. "Yeah, you'd better," he says and starts to hiss, but stops when he sees Momoshiro smirking again. Maybe hissing isn't such a good idea when he's already got the cat face to go with it. Kaidoh grimaces. Momoshiro needs to stop looking so pleased with himself.
Well, it’s not like Momoshiro can help it, seeing those doodles on Kaidoh’s usually scary face is brightening up his day, because Kaidoh has a fake smile. He likes to see him smile, even if it’s fake.
“Okay, so, I had this friend, who said you have to …uhh.” Momoshiro looks around the hut, his eyes landing on the bucket. He grins wickedly. “Rub a fish on it. Something about the salt absorbed in the scales will make it go … away … washes off just like that.” Yeah, it totally does.
Kaidoh's face twists up and he huffs in a tight breath of air through his nose. He looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel. "If you try to put a fish on my face …" he says dangerously, "I will kill you."
“Okay, just a fin then.”
Kaidoh growls, his mouth pulling into a tight frown. Every time his expression changes, the stupid whiskers seem to twitch on his face, like he's a very grouchy cat.
"Asshole. There has to be some other way." One that doesn't involve fish. On his face.
“But you’re a cat now … you should like fish.” Momoshiro snickers.
"I'm not a fucking cat!!" Kaidoh snarls, and raises his fists in front of his chest, glaring even harder, trying his best to look threatening. All his anger is kind of ineffectual and just plain laughable when he's got permanent ink scribbled all over his face. Stupid Momoshiro. Kaidoh really wants to kick his ass, but he also wants to get this stuff off of his face. Solve that problem first, kick Momoshiro's ass later.
“Fine, no fish.” Momoshiro rolls his eyes. That would have been funny though, considering Kaidoh has a phobia of fish. “Then, uhm … oh, right. Mud. Rub mud on your face like one of those girly facial masks, that helps!”
Kaidoh gives Momoshiro a flat, skeptical look. "Yeah right. That'll just make my face dirty."
“No, no, the mud has to dry up, and then you peel it off, and the ink will peel right off with it! Unless you prefer glue.” Momoshiro can’t hold back his extremely large smile. “I think we have some glue around here.”
"I'm not letting you glue my face," Kaidoh says, narrowing his eyes. He sighs heavily. "… How long does the mud thing take to work?" He's still half-convinced Momoshiro is just trying to turn him into some weird cat swamp monster, but he doesn't really have many options, and he certainly isn't going to just wander around the island with whiskers on his face for however long it will take them to fade off naturally.
Momoshiro covers his mouth with his hand, to hide the obvious lies that are coming out of it. “Well, uhm, however long mud takes to dry, I guess? You should just go run around with mud on your face, since you’ll be in the sun, and the wind against it will make it dry faster.“ Yes, Kaidoh running with a mud mask. Please. This has to happen. Momoshiro will stalk him every step of the way.
"You're sure it will work?" Kaidoh asks, still skeptical. He clenches his fists again. "I'll kick your ass if it doesn't."
Momoshiro cheerfully skips around Kaidoh until he’s behind him, then pushes his hands flat against his back. “Of course it’ll work, of course, of course! I don’t ever lie, do I?” He starts pushing Kaidoh out of the hut, while thinking of all the hilarious pictures he’ll be taking.
Kaidoh smacks Momoshiro away from him. "Fine, whatever. I can walk on my own, dumbass." He stalks out of the hut and down to the sand below. He really hopes he doesn't run into anyone while he looks like this. At least the mud will cover up the stupid scribbles. He hisses. Momoshiro had better know what he's talking about.
Of course Momoshiro knows what he’s talking about. He will do anything to achieve the maximum amount of enjoyment he can get out of this, while he can still breathe through a normal healthy nose. So Momoshiro happily chases Kaidoh out of the hut, until they’re down in the sand, and he steers him towards the ocean. The sun is barely up, but that doesn’t matter, not like this will actually work or anything.
“Just … go faceplant yourself, and put some mud on your face. Then do some running. You like running, don’t you? So yeah. Do it. Run in circles.” Dooooo iiiiiit. Momoshiro’s hand is already in his pants, grabbing hold of his cellphone to snap a picture.
Kaidoh turns around to glare at him. "Will you shut up? You don't have to follow me, you know."
Momoshiro in turn goes back around Kaidoh again. “Down you go,” he says. He nudges his foot on the back of Kaidoh’s knee to make him bend through on reflex, and he pushes down on Kaidoh’s shoulder to get him to kneel down. He points at the wet sand in front of him. “I can help smear it all over your face, if you want,” he says while chuckling.
"I can do it myself, moron," Kaidoh growls. He picks up a clump of mud and stares at it. It smells salty, and vaguely like fish and seaweed. He crinkles up his nose in disgust. If this doesn't work, he'll punch Momoshiro in the face. And maybe bury him in mud, too.
He looks back over his shoulder at Momoshiro, who still seems to think the whole thing is delightful. Annoying asshole. Kaidoh turns his focus back to the mud in his hand and dips a couple fingers into it, then smears it onto his face. It feels really cold and clammy, and not at all smooth. In fact, there's a little seashell stuck on his cheek now. This is really not how he wanted to spend his morning.
Momoshiro wants to coo at Kaidoh’s little seashell on his cheek, but manages to turn it into a very strange hiccup. He takes the cellphone out of his pants and secretly starts taking pictures while Kaidoh’s busy rubbing himself in with mud. And shells. There might have been an unidentified bug crawling on his cheek as well.
“You missed a spot,” says Momoshiro, without looking. He takes another picture as Kaidoh is looking more and more like he belongs in some war, and he’s this military man … on a mission to save the seashells, because they’re endangered. Yeah, Momoshiro’s imagination knows no bounds.
Kaidoh's nose twitches from the mud stuck to the tip of it. He thinks he has all the ink covered up by now. His face looks like a weird, splotchy mess, mud only on his cheeks, nose, and the corners of his mouth, like some bizarre tribal war paint. It's not very comfortable, definitely doesn't feel like a pleasant face mask or whatever. Instead, Kaidoh just feels dirty and gross. This is unappealing to him on so many levels. But if it's the only way to get the permanent marker off his skin, then he'll endure it.
He looks back at Momoshiro, who is being totally unhelpful, looks totally annoying, and who has his phone out for some reason. Kaidoh scowls at him.
"So I just wait for it to dry?" he asks. His cheeks already feel itchy. How long does mud take to dry anyway?
“Yes.” Momoshiro looms over Kaidoh a bit and reaches out to his face with his hand. He uses his finger to rub the mud a bit further across his cheek. “I said you missed a spot,” he lies, and just makes the mud cover his cheeks more. Because it’s funny, and Kaidoh is way too gullible. He looks really fucking ridiculous, and it’s hilarious.
“Now run Mamushi, dry that face of yours!” He softly kicks Kaidoh’s ass with his foot, to get him going. Momoshiro is enjoying this on so many levels, and he wishes his phone had a recording feature instead.
Kaidoh huffs in irritation and pulls himself to his feet. "This better work," he grumbles. He turns around, eyes still narrowed and angry, and wipes one muddy hand on Momoshiro's shirt and the other across Momoshiro's chin, because Momoshiro deserves it. And he should feel very lucky that Kaidoh hasn't hit him. Yet.
Momoshiro punches him in the arm, looking annoyed. “Of course it will. Now run.” He starts wiping off the mud on his chin with the clean part of his shirt. Kaidoh will have to do laundry later, he guesses.
"Yeah," Kaidoh says, and starts jogging off away from the hut. "Don't follow me."
Momoshiro follows.
Kaidoh glares back at Momoshiro and starts running faster. "Go away," he growls. Some of the mud drips off his cheek and onto his shoulder. Well, at least they aren't fish scales.
Momoshiro chases after Kaidoh until he’s running next to him. “You should stop talking, before you swallow some of that mud,” says Momoshiro in an amused voice. Then he takes another picture of Kaidoh’s face as the mud starts leaving long trails across his skin, making him look like a swamp monster instead. “The fish idea would have worked better though! Try that one next if this doesn’t work.”
"What do you mean, if this doesn't work?!" Kaidoh demands. "You said this would work!"
“Well …” Momoshiro hides his grin. “Not like I’ve ever had to remove permanent ink from my skin before.”
Kaidoh skids to a halt in the sand and grabs Momoshiro by the collar to pull him to a stop as well. "What the hell?! So you were just making all this up? I put mud all over my face and you don't even know if it will work?" As if in reaction to Kaidoh's words, a glop of mud from his nose drops onto the sand between them. "Asshole!" he snarls.
Momoshiro’s been trying to hard not to burst out into laughter, but that was literally the last drop. He doesn’t care anymore, it’s funny, Kaidoh’s face has whiskers drawn all over it, and there’s mud covered pretty much everywhere. It’s probably the funniest thing on earth, and Momoshiro can’t stop shaking from laughter. He even drops his cellphone from his grasp, and it lands in the sand next to him.
“It … it will!” Momoshiro says as he takes in a deep breath, before letting it out in a roaring laugh once more. “I promise!”
"You are such a fucking dumbass," Kaidoh says flatly, his whole face twisting up into a very grouchy, very muddy scowl. He uses the hand at Momoshiro's collar to shove at him. Stop laughing! It's not funny!
Momoshiro simply continues to laugh. He claws at Kaidoh’s hand on his collar, but then drops his hands, rubs them over his own chest to cover them in mud, and then he grabs the side of Kaidoh’s face with both hands. He quickly starts moving them all over him, getting mud everywhere, all the while laughing and coughing up a lung. There, now Kaidoh really does look like a cat swamp monster.
The image of Kaidoh’s face like this is now permanently burned in his retina; Momoshiro doesn’t even need pictures. But they do help! Hey ... where’d his phone go.
Kaidoh drops Momoshiro's collar and punches him in the gut instead. "Asshole, stop touching me!" he growls.
“Ow!” Momoshiro doubles over in pain, immediately wrapping his arms around his stomach and crouching down in the sand. Oh, that’s where his phone went. He lifts up his head with a glare on his face, and his eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown.
“Fucking douchebag,” he manages to breathe out, despite it taking a lot of effort. Kaidoh can really hit hard when he wants, Momoshiro feels like he can’t even move anymore. Fine then, Kaidoh can stay stuck with ink on his face forever-he won’t tell him the real way to get rid of it.
"You brought it on yourself, moron," Kaidoh points out grumpily. Besides, he's the one standing there with marker and mud all over his face. He feels like he actually should be entitled to a few more punches before they're even.
Momoshiro’s hand slips into the sand, encloses his fist around a bunch of it, then flings it at Kaidoh’s face. Asshole. There, now he’s got whiskers, mud and dry sand.
Kaidoh hisses indignantly and kicks at Momoshiro's leg. He somehow avoided getting any sand in his eyes, but it feels like some went right up his nose. He sniffs like he's about to sneeze. "What the hell, stop doing things to my face!"
“Stop hitting me then!” Momoshiro fires back, and he shoots out a fist at Kaidoh’s shin.
Kaidoh kicks Momoshiro back again. "Yeah well, I wouldn't need to hit you if you didn't act like such a dick."
The pain in his stomach has finally faded away, enough to get up from the fetal position, and Momoshiro launches himself at Kaidoh’s midriff with the strength of a stampede of animals. He takes him down, and now he’s crawling on top of Kaidoh, pulling back his fist to give him a good punch in the face … except he finds he can’t. Kaidoh’s face is just such a mess, some dry and wet mud plastered all over it, the whiskers still there and poking fun at him, and the corners of his mouth pulled into a fake smile. And there’s sand stuck in Kaidoh’s eyebrows. It’s simply a funny sight, and Momoshiro can’t find it in himself to punch it. It’s like an art sculpture, one that he created. He can’t punch his creation.
So he punches Kaidoh right back in his stomach. Serves him right.
Kaidoh groans at the impact, his mouth pulling into a grimace. Stupid idiot. Did Momoshiro have to punch back that hard? This whole thing is his own damn fault, after all. Kaidoh should be the one on top of him.
He shoves weakly at Momoshiro's shoulders. "Get off," he grumbles, voice low and irritated. Kaidoh is so going to kick Momoshiro's ass … after his stomach stops feeling like it's been barreled into by a train. Yeah, just give him a second.
That’s the last thing on Momoshiro’s mind right now; getting off. Both ways. He’ll stay right on top of Kaidoh. He leans forward, face close to the swamp kitten’s face, and he puckers out his lips, before blowing out air against the mud on his cheek. It’s starting to dry a little bit, and if Kaidoh will stop squirming, then it might be hard enough to scratch off.
Kaidoh flinches. "That feels cold," he says, with a look of annoyance.
“Shut up.” Momoshiro continues to blow out a thick and steady stream of air on the left side of Kaidoh’s cheek, and it’s quickly starting to dry up (there wasn’t much mud left since it all dripped off) and crack at parts. He switches sides, and does his right cheek as well.
Kaidoh just stares at him. His stomach has stopped hurting, but kicking Momoshiro's ass doesn't feel quite so urgent anymore, because he seems like he's actually trying to help. Well, maybe. He could also just be blowing on Kaidoh's face to piss him off. It is kind of annoying, but it's also helping the mud dry faster, and the faster it dries, the faster Kaidoh will be able to get it off his face, and hopefully the marker will go with it.
It’s starting to make Momoshiro feel a little bit lightheaded. Whether that’s from not getting enough oxygen to his brain, or because he’s just really close to the swampy cat face, and the mud kind of smells and makes him dizzy-he doesn’t really know. Either way, it’s starting to make his eyes feel droopy and he feels a bit weak, so Momoshiro takes a small break and pulls back his face a bit.
Long enough to see that the mud has now gone a soft sandy colour, which contrasts against Kaidoh’s darker and tanned skin.
“Wow, since when did you get so tan?” Momoshiro asks, genuinely surprised. Why hasn’t he noticed until now?
"Huh?" Kaidoh blinks. "What are you talking about? I look the same as I always do." Well, not really. He doesn't usually have mud caked to his cheeks and weird doodles inked onto his face. "You're tan too, you know."
Momoshiro slides his bare arm against Kaidoh’s. There’s a stark difference. Whereas Momoshiro has a vacation tan, Kaidoh’s got skin cancer by now. “You really do run too much,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “That’s not healthy. Rub yourself in with sunscreen some more, we have some, right? Oh hey-that stuff is supposed to help get permanent ink off. Right. I totally forgot.” More like, he wasn’t trying to think of an actual way to get rid of it.
Besides, permanent ink only lasts for about a week on skin. It’ll fade away on its own.
Kaidoh grumbles. "That would have been nice to know before I tried to put the whole beach on my face."
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Momoshiro with a snort. “The beach doesn’t have enough sand to cover that big head of yours entirely.”
"Asshole," Kaidoh growls, and shoves his knuckles into Momoshiro's shoulder.
In return, Momoshiro grabs Kaidoh’s cheeks with one hand, fingers digging into the dry mud, and he scrapes it off. Being sure to make it sting as he does. The mud cracks and crumbles right off his cheeks. The whiskers underneath are still as apparent as ever, but in Momoshiro’s defence, it’s not pure black anymore, but a faded dark brown. The rest of the mud is also taken care off with his fingers, even the corners of Kaidoh’s mouth, and his nose, and well, wherever the mud got to him. Within a minute, Kaidoh’s face is mostly mud-free.
But the doodles are still there.
“Totally worked,” says Momoshiro.
Kaidoh puts his hand to his cheek. "Really?" he asks skeptically. He has a hard time believing that some idea Momoshiro randomly came up with would actually work, because Momoshiro is an idiot, but he doesn't exactly have a mirror in his pocket to pull out and check, so he's only got Momoshiro's word to go on.
“Yup. And your skin is even shiny with a healthy glow, like a real facial-mask.” Blatant lie, Kaidoh’s skin is dried out, and there’s still some traces of mud left. “Ok, we can go back home now, right? No more punching?”
Kaidoh surveys Momoshiro's expression for a minute, trying to figure out whether or not he's just trying to get out of having his ass kicked. "Uh … okay …" he says slowly, his eyes still narrowed and suspicious.
“Great!” Momoshiro gets off of Kaidoh and stands up, then offers a hand to Kaidoh to pull him to his feet. His eyes can’t stop looking at the whiskers and black nose though, and for a second, Momoshiro has to bite back another huge grin.
Kaidoh lets Momoshiro pull him to his feet and then stands there with his fingers alternating between tugging at the bottom of his tank top and clenching into fists, like he's undecided if he's still annoyed or not. He mostly just wants to wash his face, which still feels dirty and gross. And probably steal Momoshiro's stupid marker so he can't wreak anymore havoc with it. Moron.
“Right, let’s go and wash your stupid face.” Momoshiro is once more spinning Kaidoh around-into the direction of their hut-and pushing at his back to get him to move. Once Kaidoh does move, he quickly bends down again to take his cellphone back, wiping off the sand that got scattered across the display screen.
Momoshiro follows Kaidoh, one step behind, whilst he’s busy changing his wallpaper to one of the new pictures he just took of Kaidoh’s swampy cat face. Hehe. It’s been a good morning.
When they do reach the hut, and Kaidoh turns around, Momoshiro is nowhere to be seen-he’s run off into hiding.
He can spray Kaidoh’s face in with aftershave when he’s asleep later. That’s the real stuff that will get rid of it. The inevitable punch he'll get from it will be worth it.
Location: Kaidoh's hut and the beach
Time: September 12, after this entry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Momo has fun with Kaidoh's face.
Okay, it seemed like a really funny idea at the time, especially since it’s their first night alone again. It still does, actually, but Kaidoh’s face is saying otherwise at 5 AM in the morning. Though he looks happy too, what with the smile that Momoshiro drew on his lips while he was sleeping. And the black cat whiskers marked on his cheeks, as well as the black nose. Yeah, Momoshiro wasn’t lying when he told Kaidoh to beware of him at night, and sleep with one eye open. Obviously Momoshiro pretended to be asleep, so Kaidoh would sleep too, and that’s when he pulled out his trusty marker-which he also used to doodle on the walls-and …
“Don’t punch me,” says Momoshiro as he holds his arms up in front of his face to fend off any of Kaidoh’s punches. He tries to hold his laughter back because Kaidoh’s face just look hilarious. He thought the snake would love it, what with his affinity for cats, but obviously when he found out, he got really angry. Like angry, angry.
Momoshiro bites his lips as he looks at cat-face Kaidoh again. “It suits you though.” And he’s got a picture of it stored in his cellphone.
"No it doesn't, moron," Kaidoh snarls back, definitely not amused. He scowls, which just makes Momoshiro's eyes glint in amusement. He looks like he's trying really hard not to explode with laughter. It just makes Kaidoh even angrier, and it's really annoying that glaring at Momoshiro isn't working because he's got fucking cat whiskers drawn onto his face so any facial expression he makes just looks ridiculous.
Yes it does, Momoshiro wants to say, but he’ll try to play it safe and not push Kaidoh’s buttons. If Kaidoh is going to punch him today, it will be hard, and he rather likes his nose.
“Okay, okay, I’ll help you get it off,” says Momoshiro with an amusing smug smirk. He pinches one of Kaidoh’s cheeks; it just looks too funny.
Kaidoh swats grumpily at Momoshiro's hand. "Yeah, you'd better," he says and starts to hiss, but stops when he sees Momoshiro smirking again. Maybe hissing isn't such a good idea when he's already got the cat face to go with it. Kaidoh grimaces. Momoshiro needs to stop looking so pleased with himself.
Well, it’s not like Momoshiro can help it, seeing those doodles on Kaidoh’s usually scary face is brightening up his day, because Kaidoh has a fake smile. He likes to see him smile, even if it’s fake.
“Okay, so, I had this friend, who said you have to …uhh.” Momoshiro looks around the hut, his eyes landing on the bucket. He grins wickedly. “Rub a fish on it. Something about the salt absorbed in the scales will make it go … away … washes off just like that.” Yeah, it totally does.
Kaidoh's face twists up and he huffs in a tight breath of air through his nose. He looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel. "If you try to put a fish on my face …" he says dangerously, "I will kill you."
“Okay, just a fin then.”
Kaidoh growls, his mouth pulling into a tight frown. Every time his expression changes, the stupid whiskers seem to twitch on his face, like he's a very grouchy cat.
"Asshole. There has to be some other way." One that doesn't involve fish. On his face.
“But you’re a cat now … you should like fish.” Momoshiro snickers.
"I'm not a fucking cat!!" Kaidoh snarls, and raises his fists in front of his chest, glaring even harder, trying his best to look threatening. All his anger is kind of ineffectual and just plain laughable when he's got permanent ink scribbled all over his face. Stupid Momoshiro. Kaidoh really wants to kick his ass, but he also wants to get this stuff off of his face. Solve that problem first, kick Momoshiro's ass later.
“Fine, no fish.” Momoshiro rolls his eyes. That would have been funny though, considering Kaidoh has a phobia of fish. “Then, uhm … oh, right. Mud. Rub mud on your face like one of those girly facial masks, that helps!”
Kaidoh gives Momoshiro a flat, skeptical look. "Yeah right. That'll just make my face dirty."
“No, no, the mud has to dry up, and then you peel it off, and the ink will peel right off with it! Unless you prefer glue.” Momoshiro can’t hold back his extremely large smile. “I think we have some glue around here.”
"I'm not letting you glue my face," Kaidoh says, narrowing his eyes. He sighs heavily. "… How long does the mud thing take to work?" He's still half-convinced Momoshiro is just trying to turn him into some weird cat swamp monster, but he doesn't really have many options, and he certainly isn't going to just wander around the island with whiskers on his face for however long it will take them to fade off naturally.
Momoshiro covers his mouth with his hand, to hide the obvious lies that are coming out of it. “Well, uhm, however long mud takes to dry, I guess? You should just go run around with mud on your face, since you’ll be in the sun, and the wind against it will make it dry faster.“ Yes, Kaidoh running with a mud mask. Please. This has to happen. Momoshiro will stalk him every step of the way.
"You're sure it will work?" Kaidoh asks, still skeptical. He clenches his fists again. "I'll kick your ass if it doesn't."
Momoshiro cheerfully skips around Kaidoh until he’s behind him, then pushes his hands flat against his back. “Of course it’ll work, of course, of course! I don’t ever lie, do I?” He starts pushing Kaidoh out of the hut, while thinking of all the hilarious pictures he’ll be taking.
Kaidoh smacks Momoshiro away from him. "Fine, whatever. I can walk on my own, dumbass." He stalks out of the hut and down to the sand below. He really hopes he doesn't run into anyone while he looks like this. At least the mud will cover up the stupid scribbles. He hisses. Momoshiro had better know what he's talking about.
Of course Momoshiro knows what he’s talking about. He will do anything to achieve the maximum amount of enjoyment he can get out of this, while he can still breathe through a normal healthy nose. So Momoshiro happily chases Kaidoh out of the hut, until they’re down in the sand, and he steers him towards the ocean. The sun is barely up, but that doesn’t matter, not like this will actually work or anything.
“Just … go faceplant yourself, and put some mud on your face. Then do some running. You like running, don’t you? So yeah. Do it. Run in circles.” Dooooo iiiiiit. Momoshiro’s hand is already in his pants, grabbing hold of his cellphone to snap a picture.
Kaidoh turns around to glare at him. "Will you shut up? You don't have to follow me, you know."
Momoshiro in turn goes back around Kaidoh again. “Down you go,” he says. He nudges his foot on the back of Kaidoh’s knee to make him bend through on reflex, and he pushes down on Kaidoh’s shoulder to get him to kneel down. He points at the wet sand in front of him. “I can help smear it all over your face, if you want,” he says while chuckling.
"I can do it myself, moron," Kaidoh growls. He picks up a clump of mud and stares at it. It smells salty, and vaguely like fish and seaweed. He crinkles up his nose in disgust. If this doesn't work, he'll punch Momoshiro in the face. And maybe bury him in mud, too.
He looks back over his shoulder at Momoshiro, who still seems to think the whole thing is delightful. Annoying asshole. Kaidoh turns his focus back to the mud in his hand and dips a couple fingers into it, then smears it onto his face. It feels really cold and clammy, and not at all smooth. In fact, there's a little seashell stuck on his cheek now. This is really not how he wanted to spend his morning.
Momoshiro wants to coo at Kaidoh’s little seashell on his cheek, but manages to turn it into a very strange hiccup. He takes the cellphone out of his pants and secretly starts taking pictures while Kaidoh’s busy rubbing himself in with mud. And shells. There might have been an unidentified bug crawling on his cheek as well.
“You missed a spot,” says Momoshiro, without looking. He takes another picture as Kaidoh is looking more and more like he belongs in some war, and he’s this military man … on a mission to save the seashells, because they’re endangered. Yeah, Momoshiro’s imagination knows no bounds.
Kaidoh's nose twitches from the mud stuck to the tip of it. He thinks he has all the ink covered up by now. His face looks like a weird, splotchy mess, mud only on his cheeks, nose, and the corners of his mouth, like some bizarre tribal war paint. It's not very comfortable, definitely doesn't feel like a pleasant face mask or whatever. Instead, Kaidoh just feels dirty and gross. This is unappealing to him on so many levels. But if it's the only way to get the permanent marker off his skin, then he'll endure it.
He looks back at Momoshiro, who is being totally unhelpful, looks totally annoying, and who has his phone out for some reason. Kaidoh scowls at him.
"So I just wait for it to dry?" he asks. His cheeks already feel itchy. How long does mud take to dry anyway?
“Yes.” Momoshiro looms over Kaidoh a bit and reaches out to his face with his hand. He uses his finger to rub the mud a bit further across his cheek. “I said you missed a spot,” he lies, and just makes the mud cover his cheeks more. Because it’s funny, and Kaidoh is way too gullible. He looks really fucking ridiculous, and it’s hilarious.
“Now run Mamushi, dry that face of yours!” He softly kicks Kaidoh’s ass with his foot, to get him going. Momoshiro is enjoying this on so many levels, and he wishes his phone had a recording feature instead.
Kaidoh huffs in irritation and pulls himself to his feet. "This better work," he grumbles. He turns around, eyes still narrowed and angry, and wipes one muddy hand on Momoshiro's shirt and the other across Momoshiro's chin, because Momoshiro deserves it. And he should feel very lucky that Kaidoh hasn't hit him. Yet.
Momoshiro punches him in the arm, looking annoyed. “Of course it will. Now run.” He starts wiping off the mud on his chin with the clean part of his shirt. Kaidoh will have to do laundry later, he guesses.
"Yeah," Kaidoh says, and starts jogging off away from the hut. "Don't follow me."
Momoshiro follows.
Kaidoh glares back at Momoshiro and starts running faster. "Go away," he growls. Some of the mud drips off his cheek and onto his shoulder. Well, at least they aren't fish scales.
Momoshiro chases after Kaidoh until he’s running next to him. “You should stop talking, before you swallow some of that mud,” says Momoshiro in an amused voice. Then he takes another picture of Kaidoh’s face as the mud starts leaving long trails across his skin, making him look like a swamp monster instead. “The fish idea would have worked better though! Try that one next if this doesn’t work.”
"What do you mean, if this doesn't work?!" Kaidoh demands. "You said this would work!"
“Well …” Momoshiro hides his grin. “Not like I’ve ever had to remove permanent ink from my skin before.”
Kaidoh skids to a halt in the sand and grabs Momoshiro by the collar to pull him to a stop as well. "What the hell?! So you were just making all this up? I put mud all over my face and you don't even know if it will work?" As if in reaction to Kaidoh's words, a glop of mud from his nose drops onto the sand between them. "Asshole!" he snarls.
Momoshiro’s been trying to hard not to burst out into laughter, but that was literally the last drop. He doesn’t care anymore, it’s funny, Kaidoh’s face has whiskers drawn all over it, and there’s mud covered pretty much everywhere. It’s probably the funniest thing on earth, and Momoshiro can’t stop shaking from laughter. He even drops his cellphone from his grasp, and it lands in the sand next to him.
“It … it will!” Momoshiro says as he takes in a deep breath, before letting it out in a roaring laugh once more. “I promise!”
"You are such a fucking dumbass," Kaidoh says flatly, his whole face twisting up into a very grouchy, very muddy scowl. He uses the hand at Momoshiro's collar to shove at him. Stop laughing! It's not funny!
Momoshiro simply continues to laugh. He claws at Kaidoh’s hand on his collar, but then drops his hands, rubs them over his own chest to cover them in mud, and then he grabs the side of Kaidoh’s face with both hands. He quickly starts moving them all over him, getting mud everywhere, all the while laughing and coughing up a lung. There, now Kaidoh really does look like a cat swamp monster.
The image of Kaidoh’s face like this is now permanently burned in his retina; Momoshiro doesn’t even need pictures. But they do help! Hey ... where’d his phone go.
Kaidoh drops Momoshiro's collar and punches him in the gut instead. "Asshole, stop touching me!" he growls.
“Ow!” Momoshiro doubles over in pain, immediately wrapping his arms around his stomach and crouching down in the sand. Oh, that’s where his phone went. He lifts up his head with a glare on his face, and his eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown.
“Fucking douchebag,” he manages to breathe out, despite it taking a lot of effort. Kaidoh can really hit hard when he wants, Momoshiro feels like he can’t even move anymore. Fine then, Kaidoh can stay stuck with ink on his face forever-he won’t tell him the real way to get rid of it.
"You brought it on yourself, moron," Kaidoh points out grumpily. Besides, he's the one standing there with marker and mud all over his face. He feels like he actually should be entitled to a few more punches before they're even.
Momoshiro’s hand slips into the sand, encloses his fist around a bunch of it, then flings it at Kaidoh’s face. Asshole. There, now he’s got whiskers, mud and dry sand.
Kaidoh hisses indignantly and kicks at Momoshiro's leg. He somehow avoided getting any sand in his eyes, but it feels like some went right up his nose. He sniffs like he's about to sneeze. "What the hell, stop doing things to my face!"
“Stop hitting me then!” Momoshiro fires back, and he shoots out a fist at Kaidoh’s shin.
Kaidoh kicks Momoshiro back again. "Yeah well, I wouldn't need to hit you if you didn't act like such a dick."
The pain in his stomach has finally faded away, enough to get up from the fetal position, and Momoshiro launches himself at Kaidoh’s midriff with the strength of a stampede of animals. He takes him down, and now he’s crawling on top of Kaidoh, pulling back his fist to give him a good punch in the face … except he finds he can’t. Kaidoh’s face is just such a mess, some dry and wet mud plastered all over it, the whiskers still there and poking fun at him, and the corners of his mouth pulled into a fake smile. And there’s sand stuck in Kaidoh’s eyebrows. It’s simply a funny sight, and Momoshiro can’t find it in himself to punch it. It’s like an art sculpture, one that he created. He can’t punch his creation.
So he punches Kaidoh right back in his stomach. Serves him right.
Kaidoh groans at the impact, his mouth pulling into a grimace. Stupid idiot. Did Momoshiro have to punch back that hard? This whole thing is his own damn fault, after all. Kaidoh should be the one on top of him.
He shoves weakly at Momoshiro's shoulders. "Get off," he grumbles, voice low and irritated. Kaidoh is so going to kick Momoshiro's ass … after his stomach stops feeling like it's been barreled into by a train. Yeah, just give him a second.
That’s the last thing on Momoshiro’s mind right now; getting off. Both ways. He’ll stay right on top of Kaidoh. He leans forward, face close to the swamp kitten’s face, and he puckers out his lips, before blowing out air against the mud on his cheek. It’s starting to dry a little bit, and if Kaidoh will stop squirming, then it might be hard enough to scratch off.
Kaidoh flinches. "That feels cold," he says, with a look of annoyance.
“Shut up.” Momoshiro continues to blow out a thick and steady stream of air on the left side of Kaidoh’s cheek, and it’s quickly starting to dry up (there wasn’t much mud left since it all dripped off) and crack at parts. He switches sides, and does his right cheek as well.
Kaidoh just stares at him. His stomach has stopped hurting, but kicking Momoshiro's ass doesn't feel quite so urgent anymore, because he seems like he's actually trying to help. Well, maybe. He could also just be blowing on Kaidoh's face to piss him off. It is kind of annoying, but it's also helping the mud dry faster, and the faster it dries, the faster Kaidoh will be able to get it off his face, and hopefully the marker will go with it.
It’s starting to make Momoshiro feel a little bit lightheaded. Whether that’s from not getting enough oxygen to his brain, or because he’s just really close to the swampy cat face, and the mud kind of smells and makes him dizzy-he doesn’t really know. Either way, it’s starting to make his eyes feel droopy and he feels a bit weak, so Momoshiro takes a small break and pulls back his face a bit.
Long enough to see that the mud has now gone a soft sandy colour, which contrasts against Kaidoh’s darker and tanned skin.
“Wow, since when did you get so tan?” Momoshiro asks, genuinely surprised. Why hasn’t he noticed until now?
"Huh?" Kaidoh blinks. "What are you talking about? I look the same as I always do." Well, not really. He doesn't usually have mud caked to his cheeks and weird doodles inked onto his face. "You're tan too, you know."
Momoshiro slides his bare arm against Kaidoh’s. There’s a stark difference. Whereas Momoshiro has a vacation tan, Kaidoh’s got skin cancer by now. “You really do run too much,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “That’s not healthy. Rub yourself in with sunscreen some more, we have some, right? Oh hey-that stuff is supposed to help get permanent ink off. Right. I totally forgot.” More like, he wasn’t trying to think of an actual way to get rid of it.
Besides, permanent ink only lasts for about a week on skin. It’ll fade away on its own.
Kaidoh grumbles. "That would have been nice to know before I tried to put the whole beach on my face."
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Momoshiro with a snort. “The beach doesn’t have enough sand to cover that big head of yours entirely.”
"Asshole," Kaidoh growls, and shoves his knuckles into Momoshiro's shoulder.
In return, Momoshiro grabs Kaidoh’s cheeks with one hand, fingers digging into the dry mud, and he scrapes it off. Being sure to make it sting as he does. The mud cracks and crumbles right off his cheeks. The whiskers underneath are still as apparent as ever, but in Momoshiro’s defence, it’s not pure black anymore, but a faded dark brown. The rest of the mud is also taken care off with his fingers, even the corners of Kaidoh’s mouth, and his nose, and well, wherever the mud got to him. Within a minute, Kaidoh’s face is mostly mud-free.
But the doodles are still there.
“Totally worked,” says Momoshiro.
Kaidoh puts his hand to his cheek. "Really?" he asks skeptically. He has a hard time believing that some idea Momoshiro randomly came up with would actually work, because Momoshiro is an idiot, but he doesn't exactly have a mirror in his pocket to pull out and check, so he's only got Momoshiro's word to go on.
“Yup. And your skin is even shiny with a healthy glow, like a real facial-mask.” Blatant lie, Kaidoh’s skin is dried out, and there’s still some traces of mud left. “Ok, we can go back home now, right? No more punching?”
Kaidoh surveys Momoshiro's expression for a minute, trying to figure out whether or not he's just trying to get out of having his ass kicked. "Uh … okay …" he says slowly, his eyes still narrowed and suspicious.
“Great!” Momoshiro gets off of Kaidoh and stands up, then offers a hand to Kaidoh to pull him to his feet. His eyes can’t stop looking at the whiskers and black nose though, and for a second, Momoshiro has to bite back another huge grin.
Kaidoh lets Momoshiro pull him to his feet and then stands there with his fingers alternating between tugging at the bottom of his tank top and clenching into fists, like he's undecided if he's still annoyed or not. He mostly just wants to wash his face, which still feels dirty and gross. And probably steal Momoshiro's stupid marker so he can't wreak anymore havoc with it. Moron.
“Right, let’s go and wash your stupid face.” Momoshiro is once more spinning Kaidoh around-into the direction of their hut-and pushing at his back to get him to move. Once Kaidoh does move, he quickly bends down again to take his cellphone back, wiping off the sand that got scattered across the display screen.
Momoshiro follows Kaidoh, one step behind, whilst he’s busy changing his wallpaper to one of the new pictures he just took of Kaidoh’s swampy cat face. Hehe. It’s been a good morning.
When they do reach the hut, and Kaidoh turns around, Momoshiro is nowhere to be seen-he’s run off into hiding.
He can spray Kaidoh’s face in with aftershave when he’s asleep later. That’s the real stuff that will get rid of it. The inevitable punch he'll get from it will be worth it.