(no subject)
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why,
Day Ten: One confession.
I am D.B. Cooper! No? Ok...
I have let two relationships end because I was incapable of letting my emotional response override my intellectual response. Instead of fighting for my relationships, I analyzed them. And followed the "logical" conclusions. Both of which led to those relationships ending. I hate myself for it. I wish I could let that emotional response take control. I don't know if it would have made a difference. It might have made the break-ups harder, or it might have prevented them. Some people think it's a defense mechanism, to protect myself from being hurt any further by not prolonging the situation. But what if I wouldn't have been hurt? What if that's the component that is missing from my behavior, that makes them leave me eventually? I don't think I've ever taken a relationship for granted. But maybe there's some kind of detachment, that isn't obvious at first, that slowly poisons my relationships? How the hell do I overcome that? Do I overcome that? Or am I going to end up alone because eventually I will always turn into a robot when it matters?
Dammit. Making yourself cry is never a good thing. I was kind of dreading this last part. I didn't know where I was going to go with it. I guess I've got a hell of a long way to go until I reach ok.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why,
Day Ten: One confession.
I am D.B. Cooper! No? Ok...
I have let two relationships end because I was incapable of letting my emotional response override my intellectual response. Instead of fighting for my relationships, I analyzed them. And followed the "logical" conclusions. Both of which led to those relationships ending. I hate myself for it. I wish I could let that emotional response take control. I don't know if it would have made a difference. It might have made the break-ups harder, or it might have prevented them. Some people think it's a defense mechanism, to protect myself from being hurt any further by not prolonging the situation. But what if I wouldn't have been hurt? What if that's the component that is missing from my behavior, that makes them leave me eventually? I don't think I've ever taken a relationship for granted. But maybe there's some kind of detachment, that isn't obvious at first, that slowly poisons my relationships? How the hell do I overcome that? Do I overcome that? Or am I going to end up alone because eventually I will always turn into a robot when it matters?
Dammit. Making yourself cry is never a good thing. I was kind of dreading this last part. I didn't know where I was going to go with it. I guess I've got a hell of a long way to go until I reach ok.