I got you by the balls....
I saw Grindhouse today, and it was really fucking awesome! Seriously, I was totally in love with it. It was quite orgasmic, though mostly b/c of Rose McGowan...
So, part one of the double feature is called Planet Terror, and it was definitely the better of the two films. Although, being partial to Robert Rodriguez (at least in comparison to Tarantino), had led me to expect that. It was the crazy zombie half of the two parter, and that being said,it was incredibly gorey and for the most part just generally nasty for no real reason other than that it could be, and overall the plotline made very little sense. But it was a zombie movie, for crying out loud! Of course it didn't make any sense. Rose McGowan plays a Go-Go dancer named Cherry Darling (which isn't her real name, obviously, but I don't remember what her actual name was), and the credits appear over her dancing like the whore that she is (which is totally hot and I wouldn't change for the world). Marley Shelton was also really good (she actually plays the same character, Dr. Dakota Block, in both movies). She has three "friends" which are 3 drugs, one which numbs, one that seems to paralyze and the final one which kills--she keeps the needles containing the drugs in her lab coat pocket, but even cooler? She has a syringe shooter in a holster on her thigh! It's pointless, but wicked awesome! I could go through the entire plot of the film, but I don't think anyone would read it, so I will refrain, but I'm just saying-- Planet Terror was hella awesome! And the machine gun leg was TOTALLY all it was cracked up to be.
The Tarantino half, Death Proof, was not as good, but I still liked it once it got to the end. Reason: the movie is about nothing. Literally, nothing. Kurt Russell apparently has a penchant for killing girls by crashing into them, or crashing his car with them in it. He kills Pam (Rose McGowan) by driving fast then slamming on the breaks, and it makes no sense. Then he crashes into a care containing Sydney Poitier (whose leg is out the window and gets severed. I was totally like "omg, it's Mallory Dent!"), Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd and Monica Staggs just for the hell of it, after stalking and harrassing them at a bar. His characters name is Stuntman Mike, and I really have no idea why he does anything he does. Anyway, then cut to Tracie Thoms (Kim, a stuntwoman with a potty mouth--seriously, almost every word she says is profanity and I can't really figure out why...she says "bitch", "fuck" and "n----" excessively-- overemphasizing her badass blackness, but I'm okay with that), Zoe Bell (Obv. stuntwoman, and incidentally played herself), and Rosario Dawson (a pretty badass makeup artist named Abernathy-- why, you ask? No clue.), and some other chick who sit around talking about their jobs for what seems like the better part of an hour. Then the four woman get into a car chase with Kurt, and in the end, they kick his ass. Seriously, nothing happens, but it is amazing because the car crash ends when Russell crashes, so the girls drag him out of his car and start beating the shit out of him, and the words "The End" appear in white letters over the scene. Everyone in the theater was laughing ridiculously hard.
The silly thing? I liked it more than I know I should have, but it was just freaking awesome. Both movies had a sense of humour, which I liked-- the first one more than the second, but as I said, the first movie was better.
Oh, and the fake previews were completely hysterical.
Also, in coidal scenes, they have this screen that pops up saying the reel is missing, which is great. In the first sex scene (with Rose McGowan and Freddy Rodriguez), they make it seem like the film is burning, you know 'cause it's so hot and all, before they cut to the screen. I, for one, thought is was fantastic. Very funny.
Plus, THE ZOMBIES TOTALLY ATE FERGIE'S BRAIN!!!! How awesome is that?
So, part one of the double feature is called Planet Terror, and it was definitely the better of the two films. Although, being partial to Robert Rodriguez (at least in comparison to Tarantino), had led me to expect that. It was the crazy zombie half of the two parter, and that being said,it was incredibly gorey and for the most part just generally nasty for no real reason other than that it could be, and overall the plotline made very little sense. But it was a zombie movie, for crying out loud! Of course it didn't make any sense. Rose McGowan plays a Go-Go dancer named Cherry Darling (which isn't her real name, obviously, but I don't remember what her actual name was), and the credits appear over her dancing like the whore that she is (which is totally hot and I wouldn't change for the world). Marley Shelton was also really good (she actually plays the same character, Dr. Dakota Block, in both movies). She has three "friends" which are 3 drugs, one which numbs, one that seems to paralyze and the final one which kills--she keeps the needles containing the drugs in her lab coat pocket, but even cooler? She has a syringe shooter in a holster on her thigh! It's pointless, but wicked awesome! I could go through the entire plot of the film, but I don't think anyone would read it, so I will refrain, but I'm just saying-- Planet Terror was hella awesome! And the machine gun leg was TOTALLY all it was cracked up to be.
The Tarantino half, Death Proof, was not as good, but I still liked it once it got to the end. Reason: the movie is about nothing. Literally, nothing. Kurt Russell apparently has a penchant for killing girls by crashing into them, or crashing his car with them in it. He kills Pam (Rose McGowan) by driving fast then slamming on the breaks, and it makes no sense. Then he crashes into a care containing Sydney Poitier (whose leg is out the window and gets severed. I was totally like "omg, it's Mallory Dent!"), Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd and Monica Staggs just for the hell of it, after stalking and harrassing them at a bar. His characters name is Stuntman Mike, and I really have no idea why he does anything he does. Anyway, then cut to Tracie Thoms (Kim, a stuntwoman with a potty mouth--seriously, almost every word she says is profanity and I can't really figure out why...she says "bitch", "fuck" and "n----" excessively-- overemphasizing her badass blackness, but I'm okay with that), Zoe Bell (Obv. stuntwoman, and incidentally played herself), and Rosario Dawson (a pretty badass makeup artist named Abernathy-- why, you ask? No clue.), and some other chick who sit around talking about their jobs for what seems like the better part of an hour. Then the four woman get into a car chase with Kurt, and in the end, they kick his ass. Seriously, nothing happens, but it is amazing because the car crash ends when Russell crashes, so the girls drag him out of his car and start beating the shit out of him, and the words "The End" appear in white letters over the scene. Everyone in the theater was laughing ridiculously hard.
The silly thing? I liked it more than I know I should have, but it was just freaking awesome. Both movies had a sense of humour, which I liked-- the first one more than the second, but as I said, the first movie was better.
Oh, and the fake previews were completely hysterical.
Also, in coidal scenes, they have this screen that pops up saying the reel is missing, which is great. In the first sex scene (with Rose McGowan and Freddy Rodriguez), they make it seem like the film is burning, you know 'cause it's so hot and all, before they cut to the screen. I, for one, thought is was fantastic. Very funny.
Plus, THE ZOMBIES TOTALLY ATE FERGIE'S BRAIN!!!! How awesome is that?