If you could meet any famous person and smack them in the head with a large trout, who would it be?
At the age of ten I was struck in the shoulder with a dead otter by a schoolyard bully.
In addition to being more painful than one might imagine -- certainly more painful than I had imagined, although I'd like to believe I would have stepped forward and attempted to reason with the other boy either way -- it was a singularly shaming experience, and I wouldn't wish its equivalent on anyone. I'm not, by my nature, a violent person, and such a blow can inflict a significant amount of damage, outward as well as inward. I was caught by the teeth of the otter, well caught, and perhaps it's simply the grandeur of childhood memory but it seems to me that it bled more profusely than any wound I've sustained since, and only my first gunshot wound matched the shock.
Of course a trout, unless perhaps it was frozen, is somewhat more yielding than an otter, but in essence, as far as I'm concerned, it's the same. Why I should care to impose such an ordeal on some arbitrary celebrity -- whom the question presupposes I have never met, who has done me no personal ill -- is altogether beyond me.
I'm afraid I'm doomed to continually fail the purpose of these exercises. They seem to be designed exclusively for those who are not, as my partner would put it, freaks.
In addition to being more painful than one might imagine -- certainly more painful than I had imagined, although I'd like to believe I would have stepped forward and attempted to reason with the other boy either way -- it was a singularly shaming experience, and I wouldn't wish its equivalent on anyone. I'm not, by my nature, a violent person, and such a blow can inflict a significant amount of damage, outward as well as inward. I was caught by the teeth of the otter, well caught, and perhaps it's simply the grandeur of childhood memory but it seems to me that it bled more profusely than any wound I've sustained since, and only my first gunshot wound matched the shock.
Of course a trout, unless perhaps it was frozen, is somewhat more yielding than an otter, but in essence, as far as I'm concerned, it's the same. Why I should care to impose such an ordeal on some arbitrary celebrity -- whom the question presupposes I have never met, who has done me no personal ill -- is altogether beyond me.
I'm afraid I'm doomed to continually fail the purpose of these exercises. They seem to be designed exclusively for those who are not, as my partner would put it, freaks.