haven't taken a photo in weeks
Increasingly disparate aberrations of happiness puncture my hopeless existance.
Some part of me always knew it was bullshit, but that familiar blame-game (where I pathologically attempt to pinpoint the root cause of my depression on anyone or anything other than myself) today offers me little solace.
nevertheless... LET'S PLAY IT!
Well, my job is fucking terrible. I sit in a chair and am forced to arbitrarily deny students access to the computer lab. Almost all of my contact with other people follows this similar formula:
(student enters the computer lab)
ME: Can I see you're id please?
STUDENT: Um, ok... this is the first time I've been carded at a computer lab (goes through pockets/purse searching for id)
Yeah, well, the computer lab is paid for by the summer session student fees, and as such we're requiring that everyone have an id with a summer session sticker on it.
Um, I don't have a summer session sticker.
I'm sorry... you can get one at Hahn Student Services...
All right, I'm as tired of writing that as I'm sure you are of reading it (if, for some ungodly reason, you haven't already stopped reading this morbid entry... go outside, if you knew what's good for you you'd shut off your damn computer... i know, i don't) Um, anyway... so basically my job is to incite hatred in other people, directed towards me. And some warped part of me is beginning to enjoy it. I suppose that is appropriate, given that I technically do work for the state.
My housing situation is pushing me deeper into this depression, but for reasons that few would suspect... or, I don't know, maybe I'm more transparent than I believe. I'm starting to realistically believe that it will never happen.
I can't finish this post...
I hope this ends soon; I haven't been this close in a very long time.
Some part of me always knew it was bullshit, but that familiar blame-game (where I pathologically attempt to pinpoint the root cause of my depression on anyone or anything other than myself) today offers me little solace.
nevertheless... LET'S PLAY IT!
Well, my job is fucking terrible. I sit in a chair and am forced to arbitrarily deny students access to the computer lab. Almost all of my contact with other people follows this similar formula:
(student enters the computer lab)
ME: Can I see you're id please?
STUDENT: Um, ok... this is the first time I've been carded at a computer lab (goes through pockets/purse searching for id)
Yeah, well, the computer lab is paid for by the summer session student fees, and as such we're requiring that everyone have an id with a summer session sticker on it.
Um, I don't have a summer session sticker.
I'm sorry... you can get one at Hahn Student Services...
All right, I'm as tired of writing that as I'm sure you are of reading it (if, for some ungodly reason, you haven't already stopped reading this morbid entry... go outside, if you knew what's good for you you'd shut off your damn computer... i know, i don't) Um, anyway... so basically my job is to incite hatred in other people, directed towards me. And some warped part of me is beginning to enjoy it. I suppose that is appropriate, given that I technically do work for the state.
My housing situation is pushing me deeper into this depression, but for reasons that few would suspect... or, I don't know, maybe I'm more transparent than I believe. I'm starting to realistically believe that it will never happen.
I can't finish this post...
I hope this ends soon; I haven't been this close in a very long time.